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Tullamore Dew	By : Nyssa Category: Individual Celebrities > Colin Farrell Views: 4822 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Colin Farrell. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: Tullamore Dew
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Colin Farrell
Rating: NC-17
Author: Nyssa (devildog2001@gmx.net)
Disclaimer: As far as I know, this never happened and never will happen. Only in my sick imagination.

Many thanks to Jilly for beta-reading this, and to Puck for challenging me to come up with a smutty story about Orlando and Colin! Also, my apologies to all the actors who are portrayed as bores or assholes in this story. I'm sure they are all great people!

"Tullamore Dew" is a whiskey from Ireland.

Feedback/Reviews are highly appreciated. Thank you! ;-)

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Tullamore Dew

Bored, Orlando is playing with the little paper umbrella that served as decoration on his welcoming cocktail. Usually he loves to go to award shows, even when he doesn’t win or isn’t nominated at all, because the awards aren’t important. The aftershow parties are important, and the free drinks, and the hip, entertaining and interesting people who you meet here. But this time, fate mistreated him badly. Or rather the people who set up the seating arrangements...

With a forced smile, Orlando lets his gaze glide over the actors who are seated at the same great round table like him. Bill Pullman, Kiefer Sutherland, Liam Neeson, Gabriel Byrne, all of them with female company. But the women aren’t really less boring than the men they sit next to. If at least Viggo or Bean would be here. They’re the same age class but a hundred times more enjoyable than these slowpokes. But Viggo called in sick and Sean is somewhere on the set of his new movie.

Somewhat absently, Orlando turns hiad aad and discovers Elijah a few tables further. With Elijah you could have fun. And Orlando sees that Elijah’s table neighbours – among others Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst... and also Liv and Dominic are sitting there, damn – are having fun with him indeed. Over there, they laugh and clink glasses and talk a lot. What would he give to be seated at exactly that table now! A little envious and very wistfully Orlando observes the young bunch, until there’s stirring in his own group. Hellos and Good Evenings and handshakes, anlandlando directs his gaze towards the latecomers, the two people who will complete his boredom-table.

His eyes meet a breathtaking beauty, wrapped in a twinkling dress, not more than a whiff of fine cloth. He’d always admired her in her movies. For a woman, she’s just perfect, and face to face in person she seems even more flawless to him. If he wasn’t into guys, this wonderful Jennifer Garner would surely inspirs wes wet dreams...

Her male escort is her co-star from Daredevil, or maybe they only accidentally arrived at the same time and just happen to sit next to each other, who knows for sure? But after a short time Orlando notices that the latter is more likely to be the case, since Jennifer doesn’t show much interest in Colin. She talks a lot with Kiefer and isn’t very secretive about the obvious fact that she doesn’t take much pleasure in the company of the young, dark-haired man to her right, not even on a platonic level.

No wonder, Orlando thinks to himself as the event finally begins. This Colin Farrell radiates such an arrogance that it makes your hair stand on end. And he’s drinking and smoking non-stop. He looks dark and mysterious, sprawled on the chair, cigarette hanging loosely in the corner of his mouth and his eyes only half open – or half closed, depends on how you see it. Obviously he’s exactly as bored as Orlando is. Although, Orlando isn’t that bored anymore now. Colin is interesting, even though he seems to be a snotty asshole. Maybe because he seems to be a snotty asshole... And because he’s a secret or a mystery Orlando would like to resolve. He’s dressed in an exclusive dark suit, underneath a white shirt and a tie, but it seems that he’s not feeling very comfortable in it. The elegant, formal suit surrounds him like a cage too small surrounds a predator, and Orlando wonders what will happen when he’s freed of those prison bars and the aggressive wild rampancy, which highly visibly slumbers inside of him, is unleashed.

The award for Best Female Performance is next... or is it Breakthrough Female? Orlando doesn’t get it properly, but when Jennifer rises with a beaming smile and is acknowledged with everyone’s applause, his thoughts find a way back to reality. He, too, starts to clap politely, while she turns and heads for the stage to accept her prize, and his gaze drops to her small, firm bottom. What an ass... Orlando almost has to remind himself that he’s not into women. But this Jennifer... Wow.

“Forget it, cutie pie“, a voice dripping with taunt comes from the other side of the table, “She’s not going for milksops.”

Orlando’s head snaps back and for the first time tonight he and Colin look directly into each other’s eyes. Deep brown gentleness meets deep brown fieriness, and if Orlando didn’t feel so scoffed at and furious, he would surely enjoy the crackling sparks that suddenly seem to fly. Usually he doesn’t let anyone get away with something like this... What cheek! Who does this guy think he is, to show him up in front of all these big names in showbiz...? But for some reason, Orlando’s tongue won’t move. Won’t form nimble-witted words to throw back into Mr. Self-Absorbed’s impossibly handsome face. Colin Farrell’s intense gaze seems to petrify him, and after a while Orlando isn’t able to stand it any longer and avoids the stare of the Irishman, lowers his gaze to the pink paper umbrella which he had placed on the table in the meantime. When he looks up again after a few seconds, he finds that Colin faces the stage now and, with a tiny, smug grin, smokes another cigarette. Bastard.

But when the charming Jennifer Garner returns to their table, Orlando gains gratification. She has barely taken her seat as Colin leans over to her in order to congratulate her, namely with a kiss, but she bends her head in the nick of time to escape his too intimate touch, and he meets only her temple, awkwardly. And then she turns away from him completely and, much to Orlando’s satisfaction, allows Kiefer Sutherland to hug and congratulate her very heartily. Gloating, Orlando smirks at Colin across the table – eat this, cocky wanker – and Colin glares back at him.

When the event is over – bad luck that Farrell reaped one of the awards and he missed out – Orlando wants to fight his way through the departing crowd of celebrities in order to catch Elijah, Dominic and Liv, but a strong squeeze of a hand makes him turn around. And again he gazes into this blazing, wild brown, these admittedly very beautiful and expressive eyes which, with their arrogance, make him simmer with rage.

“Hey”, Colin says, and he sounds bored and uninterested, but his burning eyes reveal that it’s only fakery.

“Hey”, Orlando replies, because he can’t think of anything else to say. Besides, he doesn’t want to risk too much… This guy seems to be a complete and utter dickhead, but a dickhead with the name of Colin Farrell after all. He collects awards and prizes, all women and also the critics are at his feet, and even Orlando has to admit that he’s a pretty damn gifted actor. You don’t get yourself into hot water with a guy like that, especially not when you’re called Orlando Bloom.

“You think you’re some clever shit, right?” Colin asks cynically and points his open cigarette packet towards Orlando, but the young Brit ignores the offer defiantly.

“And you think you can get away with anything, right?” Orlando replies while Colin puts away the packet of cigarettes.

“No, I don’t think that I can get away with anything. I know it.” And once again that smug, little grin… So scoffing, so teasing, and Gods, so sexy… “I can do what I want, and that’s what I do. I get everything I want, and everybody I want. Got that?“

“Yeah, everybody except for Jennifer”, Orlando says sarcastically, and he cheers inwardly as he watches the fire in Colin’s eyes suddenly turn to ice and Colin’s features harden.

“What are you trying to prove here, sweetie? Are you sure you want to clash with me?” the slightly older actor asks in a low voice, but with a dangerous, threatening undertone. Orlando’s eyes narrow.

“If you think that I’m afraid of you you’re on the wrong track, Farrell.”

“Oh really?“ Colin asks somewhat softer, and Orlando notices that again there’s this amused grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “If you say so…“ With a quick, discreet movement, Colin raises his hand to Orlando’s chest and slips something into his front pocket. Something that feels suspiciously like a code card… the ticket to his hotel room. Orlando feels his heartbeats picking up a fierce pace. "When the party’s over, drop by for a... drink”, Colin suggests with a pretty obscene tone in his voice. “That is, if you really have the guts, dolly-bird.“

And before the totally stunned Orlando is able to react, Colin winks at him, turns away and vanishes, mingling with the crowd of people.
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Tullamore Dew