Spare a thought | By : gardenrose Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 1172 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I want everyone who reads this fic to spare a thought. Very simple one. There are things in this world we have no power to change, many things that we have no saying over. But then there are those things that are totally in our hands. Things we can change for the world to be a better place. Naïve I know. But please please spare a thought.
Oh and another thing… this is a fic, never happened.
***
“ Daz, I think we should talk before we go,” Daniel said quietly.
He was holding Darren in his arms, Darren’s head on his chest. They were in bed, not moving for the last 20 minutes, just holding each other close.
“Danny…” Darren spoke into Daniel’s chest.
“Daz, please… Let’s talk!” Daniel stroke Darren’s . Da. Darren raised his head and looked his lover in the eyes. Just another reassurance that they could trust each other, and trust with no limits, trust completely.
“Tell me,” Daniel started, “tell me have you ever… I mean, apart from me…”
“Yes,” Darren sighed and turned in Daniel’s arms, laying on his back and resting his head on Daniel’s chest. “I … I remember that one time I met someone and … it was when I still lived at home… and I let him take me to his place that first night we met… In a club. And …”
Daniel felt Darren’s body tense. He couldn’t see his eyes, or his face, but he felt it with all his being.
“Daz?” Daniel whispered, “Did he hurt you?”
“Oh no!” Darren seemed to come back to life, “No! I was out of my clothes before he even had a chance to offer me some tea. It’s just… Just that now the memories of that make me go cold…”
“What happened?” Daniel was stroking Darren’s chest.
“Well I just … I was freshly liberated as a gay man and I thought it’s brilliant, I dropped on his bed and begged him to fuck my brains out…” Darren still wasn’t facing Daniel, “and he did.”
“And he didn’t…?” Daniel asked
“No, he didn’t, and I didn’t insist.” Darren finally changed his position and turned around, lying on his side now, looking Daniel in the eyes. “Your turn!”
“Well I suppose my cruising days leave little to imagination, Daz…” Daniel smiled a shy smile, “I …” He stopp
D
Darren planted a soft kiss on Daniel’s lips. “Please go on”
“Well I … That one time I picked a guy and … and I had him right there in a club, in a toilet… you know, we went to a toilet and locked ourselves into a cubical and … well….” Daniel stopped again.
“I’m listening, Daniel, and this was your idea!” Darren smiled at him.
”Well you know… I…” Daniel laughed and hid his face in a pillow. “I can’t believe I am telling this!” he spoke into the pillow.
“Come on” Darren run his hands through Daniel’s hair, “come on”
“Ok,” Daniel sat up, resting his back against the bedside. He paused for a while. Then continued, “he just begged me … I don’t even remember his face, it got so hot in there and I turned him around against the wall and did exactly what he begged me for… I put my hand over his mouth to gag his screams and I fucked him right there…”
“And no condom?” Darren asked.
“Of course not, it was meant to be hand-jobs only” Daniel sighed. “Your turn!”
“Well there was that rent-boy …” Darren smiled, “yeah yeah spank me now!”
Daniel lowered himself on the bed again and laughed, holding his stomach. “Darren? You used rent boys?”
“Well… You were not available that first time around when we made it big… and I couldn’t cruise,” Darren said, “so that boy was really cute and I … I … He wanted to use protection, always. But I insisted …”
“Why?” Daniel was surprised. Truly surprised.
“Well Danny you might not understand it, but I felt it’s … there’s something extra exciting about it… I wanted to feel his seed dripping out of me… well he didn’t want to do it but with the tip I gave him and maybe also because who I am … ”
Daniel sighed. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything,” Darren answered.
“Since we are together…” Daniel inhaled a deep breath, “have you done it since we are together?”
“What rent boys or in general?” Darren asked.
“Well both I guess…” Daniel said, looking Darren in the eyes. Beautiful guilty eyes of his.
“How long have we been together?” Darren asked more himself than Daniel, “If we count since that first concert of that first big tour…”
They both smiled, memories overflowing them.
“3 and half years, Darren.” Daniel said.
“Well yes I have,” Darren said.
“And the last time?” Daniel drew Darren closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his body, “you know you can tell me everything? There is not you you have to hide from me, Daz. Not now.”
“Well about a year ago…” Darren answered, turning his head to see Daniel’s face, “and you?”
“I haven’t,” Daniel answered and lowered his head for a kiss.
“We gotta get going” Daniel said when they broke the kiss.
“I guess so we have to” Darren hesitantly moved away from Daniel and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to Daniel, “I am just bloody scared!”
“I know,” Daniel moved over the bed to Darren and hugged him from behind, putting his head on his shoulder, “I know you are and I am scared, too”
“What’s the point?” Darren asked.
“Just to know, Daz…It’s good to know how much time we’ve got,” Daniel said.
”Well test is not gonna tell us that!” Darren was getting up and moved to the bathroom. “Never mind, I know you’re right, I’m just trying to… I just don’t want to go!”
“Well I asked Dr.Jackobs if we can just phone in for the results but he insisted we should go over and see him for that,” Daniel shrugged, “besides I think it’s a good thing to be there together and not hear anything over the phone and then…Well you know…”
Darren turned around and looked at him, “you actually do allow the idea … ?”
“I think we have to go now,” was Daniel’s reply.
They were in a taxi on the way to the clinic where 3 days before they had left their blood samples for the most important test in their life. At least now it seemed like the most important thing in their life. They held hands all the way but not a word was said.
They walked into Dr. Jackobs office and the doctor smiled his friendly medical smile at them, gesturing them to sit down.
”How are you today gentlemen?” he asked.
“Can we just move to the issue?” Daniel asked, sensing Darren’s fear to grow. He reached for Darren’s hand and their fingers entwisted.
“No we can not, young people, bse Ise I have some things to say first,” the gray and smart looking doctor smiled that friendly medical smile again, “there are some things you need to know before we go on”
They squeezed their hands painfully together.
“People think Aids is a number that does not concern them,” Dr. Jackobs’ eyes were traveling from Darren to Daniel. “If it continues to go on like it does now, in 20 years time Aids will affect as many people as cancer, meaning everyone in their family will have someone who carries the infection, is infected or has died.”
His words were met with dead silence.
“I can assure you many people will lose their life because of their ignorance. And people are just not brave enough to admit things like that can happen to them. And you two sitting here now is admirable thing and I know it wasn’t easy to come here to begin with… Brave, as silly as it sounds right now…”
Daniel gave Darren’s hands another squeeze and turned to look at his face. He was looking back at him. Brave was the last thing they felt.
They walked out of the office and pre pressed their backs to the door that just closed behind them. So many people had been hit. They had escaped.
Darren took Daniel’s hand and they walked down the corridor and down the stairs and out on the street. Darren drew Daniel closer. Daniel didn’t reject his hug. Darren caressed his back with one hand, the other hand lowering Daniel’s head for a kiss.
Darren’s hands were ruffling Daniel’s hair now, Daniel had his arms around Darren’s waist, their kiss slow, deep and loving.
“Do you feel what I feel?” Darren asked, once they broke from the embrace.
They looked around and were met with some surprised faces staring at them.
“Definitely,” Daniel sighed, “I feel what you feel”
They both grinned to the people around them and Darren took his phone out of his pocket.
“Leo, hi,” he addressed their manager, “I need you to do something. Once in a lifetime without a single comment or a question. Just organize something for us!”
Darren looked over at Daniel. Daniel nodded his head.
“Please book us on every talk show, every TV and radio thing you can get us on within the next two weeks.” Darren was grinning.
A female voice asked on the other end of the telephone line, “And what am I suppose to tell them why should they have you NOW?”
“Tell them we are coming out.”
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