Undercurrent (Part 1 of 2) | By : Cyndiana Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Rammstein Views: 1410 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Rammstein. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Undercurrent PART 1/2
Author: Cyndiana
Rating: NC-17 for the GRAPHIC depiction of M/M sexuality, rape/violence and language.
Archive: A Feather in the Blood (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/afeatherintheblood/)
Pairing: Paul/Schneider, Paul/Richard
Synopsis: Will Paul and Schneider give into their passions?
Disclaimer: Don’t own Rammstein, wouldn’t be writing this shit if I did….Not for profit, is a work of fiction, yada yada bing bang BOOM.
Author’s Note: I call this story “Undercurrent” because there’s an undercurrent to it in the form of a hidden message…Can you find it?
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L is for Longing
Ah, the smell of the backstage…like sweat and drugs and rock and roll….Three intoxicated groupies vie for my affections…Two rubbing my chest and kissing me and one sucks me eagerly. My eyes are fixated on him…He smokes a cigarette, staring off into nowhere, drowning in his own thoughts…Is he thinking of me? I blush at the thought and push the girls aside. I’ve got to get out of here. One last longing glance at Paul, and I leave…God I hate this existence…
O is for Obedience
I’ve played this game with my school friends as long as I can remember…It’s a game of obedience, kind of like Truth or Dare in America, but it’s called “Do As I Say”. When you’re “commander” you order your friend to do various things, and he HAS to…If he doesn’t, you do something horrible to him (whatever chastisement you see fit). Then, if you perform the task, you become the “commander”. It’s the model by which many a gay schoolboy ends up fucking his friends, when it turns from an innocent child’s game to something so much more…Christoph has already commanded me to brush my ass with Till’s toothbrush…I’m sure to get my ass kicked over that one, once he finds out, and I’m sure Schneider will tell him…Now it’s my turn to be “commander”…I wonder what he’d do, if only I’d ask him to….
V is for Violence
I’m stumbling through the halls of the…what is this? Four Seasons? Oh yeah, the New York Battery Park Ritz-Carlton…God, I’m fucked up…My head is spinning with a hooker’s cheap vodka and fine cocaine. I picked her up hoping to cleanse myself of my wicked thoughts. I guess in my mind, I think if I fuck enough women and do enough drugs, fucking Paul won’t be such an all-consuming obsession any more…Maybe I can replace one addiction for another. He’s probably not even gay, and he assuredly doesn’t think I am….does he? I hear whimpers from Paul’s room. It sounds like he is sharing the company of some lucky woman tonight…But all at once I realize the whimpers are his own…
Then he speaks, “Please Richard…You’re drunk…I hate it when you’re drunk…”
“Do as I say, Paul…”
“I don’t want to play anymore…You’re hurting me!”
I hear Richard grunt, and Paul cry out. I want to burst in and protect him, but my feet hold fast…
”Stop, Richard!!! No!!! Not like this!!! Please!!!!!”
Then his sobs…My heart aches…He screams, he pleads….
”Silence! Take it like a man, or I’ll shut you up myself!” he growls with violent intent.
“Please, Richard…stopppp…..” I hear him cry out helplessly as I hear Richard’s fist fall, and Paul goes silent…
E is for Epiphany
I’m still nursing my wounds…He hurts me so, but I need it. I need the punishment…Punishment for these thoughts…I’m a man, and a man should want a woman. This is how I was raised, and this is as it should be. But, no matter how much Richard hurts me, or how much of his own self-hatred he takes out on me, I feel just the same. We are on stage, the crowd feasts upon us with thousands of eyes. Richard always gives me those knowing stares. His face grows angry as I gaze at Schneider…His arms flex with every drumbeat, but it’s his thighs I fixate on. They clench and release with every beat of the bass drum…All at once I envision how they would clench as he fucked me to madness…I have an epiphany…I realize that my desire for him cannot ever be constrained…Maybe, I should just give in to it…Richard sees me, Richard’s eyes grow red with jealousy…I know I’m going to get it tonight…
I is for Isolation
I’m sitting at home on one of the few breaks we’ve had since putting out our last album. I’m cooking some microwave pasta, sitting in front of my large, flat-screen plasma TV in my spacious living room. Ah, the luxuries one can afford as a rich bachelor. Or, spinster…Old maid? That word seems oddly appropriate as my thoughts turn to him. Did I see him eyeing me at our last show? Or at the airport, when we all left for our homes for some much needed R and R? Was he standing there actually SADDENED by my departure? Or was it all in my mind? Inside I know I should just tell him how I feel, now that I know where his proclivities lie…Still, something holds my words in my throat in the form of a large lump every time he speaks to me. I chase my meal with a dessert of cocaine to ease this suffocating isolation…Right now, Pat Sajak on the TV is my only lover, and I’d like to buy a vowel… “I w__nt P__ul ! ”
S is for Seduction
I stand outside of his door…I reach up to knock, but I can’t…It’s like some invisible, but nevertheless tangible force holds my arms beside me. “Just do it Paul!” I chide myself. “Tell him, you must tell him!” All at once his door opens and he stands before he. His powered nose tells me he’s high, again, and he stands transfixed by my presence…Doesn’t he want to know why I’m here, so far from my own home? Why I’m bothering him this time of night? I just don’t fucking care anymore, as I proceed with my haphazard seduction. I pull him to me and I kiss him with all the passion I’ve stored up since I first laid eyes on him…Wait…am I kissing him, or is he kissing me?
Got the first part of the message? Get the rest in part 2!
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