Again [1/1] | By : Daisygirl1315 Category: Reality TV > American Idol/Pop Idol Views: 2098 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Written as a sequel to another one of my 1/1s, End of the Road. To find that story, go here: http://saulafanfiction.tripod.com/id79.html
Paula's POV
I hadn’t intended to leave him that night.
I didn’t want to leave him.
I just wanted to see how much he wanted me to stay.
Sure, my career was important.
But he was more important.
I just wanted to know I was that important to him.
I wanted to know there was a reason I was moving to England.
I wanted him to give me that reason.
In retrospect, it was a bad idea.
I never should have thought the way to do that was by testing him.
Throughout the course of our affair…relationship…whatever it was, he’d never told me he loved me.
He knew I loved him.
I think that’s part of what bugged me so much.
He knew it and he delighted in it.
He gloated about it.
And he brought it up at all the wrong times.
Used it as an argument to make me forgive him.
To get his way.
"But you love me," he would pout. "You can’t stay mad at someone you’re so in love with."
And he was right.
I couldn’t.
Except for that night.
Honestly? No, I didn’t want to move to England to live for good.
Would I have for him?
In a New York minute.
But he pissed me off that night.
I was angry.
I said things I shouldn’t have.
I said things I didn’t mean.
I remember the last thing he said to me.
"It wasn’t supposed to end this way, you know."
"It wasn’t supposed to end," I had thought bitterly.
But I didn’t say it.
I just left.
And he didn’t stop me.
I’d barely even let the door close behind me before I was in tears.
I was in tears for quite sometime after that, actually.
I even made a few visits to my shrink in the following weeks.
Ironically, the same shrink I used to go to when Simon drove me nuts back in season one.
Five years later, he was still driving me nuts.
Just in a different way.
Funny how some things never change.
My absence must not have bothered him too much.
I never heard from him.
Not once.
But his absence always bothered me.
I couldn’t live the way I did previous to knowing him.
Everywhere I went, I thought of him.
Restaurants, stores, even the freeways reminded me of him.
Despite everyone’s advice to move on, I couldn’t.
Not on the inside, anyway.
But now I’m in England, promoting my new album.
The one he said I’d never make.
Confession?
If he hadn’t made that hasty statement that night, I probably wouldn’t have ever recorded it.
But I did.
Just so he wouldn’t be right.
My eyes start to glass over as I reminisce about the many times I didn’t want him to be right.
And all the times he was, anyway.
The time I said I hated him.
He knew I didn’t.
The time I said I wasn’t attracted to him.
He knew I was.
The time I said I didn’t want to make love to him.
He knew I did.
In fact, that night, he proved I did.
And a year and a half later, I still want to.
I choke back a sob and take a deep breath.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come here after all.
I reach down and place my hand on the gear of my car.
Before I can shift it into reverse, the front door opens.
Simon steps out, picking something up off his porch.
A newspaper…or something else just as insignificant.
Then he notices me.
His expression doesn’t change much, but I can tell he’s surprised.
Confused.
Anxious.
His eyebrows are furrowed, slightly.
His lips pursed.
His jaw clenched.
But only just a little.
Features that would go unnoticed to a normal person.
Features that would go unnoticed to anyone, except me.
I offer a weak smile through the window, then release my hand from the gear.
Slowly I remove the keys from the ignition as I mentally talk myself out of running like hell.
I get out of the car and take a deep breath, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my right ear.
"Paula?" he says uncertainly.
Nervously.
"Hi," I offer softly, not moving from my spot.
"You’re…here."
"Yeah."
God, I wanted to die.
Why did I ever think this would be a good idea?
Why did I think we’d be able to go back to normal?
What made me think this would be easy?
"Yeah," I say again, clearing my throat. "I’m here promoting-"
"-your album," he finishes for me.
I stop, mid sentence.
"I heard," he smiles, his expression softening.
If I’m not mistaken, I’d say he almost looks proud.
I nod, unsure what else to do.
"Come here," he says, waving his right hand. "Come inside."
"If this is a bad time-," I begin.
"No," he says, almost urgently. "No."
I force a smile.
"Okay then."
We walk in and I take a look around, breathing in the scent of his home.
"I’m surprised you still live here," I comment.
"Why’s that?"
"Oh, I’d just think you’d move into something bigger and flashier, what with all the success you’ve been having lately."
"I did," he says, with a slight chuckle. "But I couldn’t leave. I had too many connections to this flat than to leave it."
I knew what he meant.
I glanced over at the spot in front of the fireplace.
The first place we made love.
I glance up the stairs.
The time we couldn’t make it to the bed.
The couch, the kitchen, the countertops.
Our memories were all over that house.
I wonder if that’s why he couldn’t leave.
"Drink?" he asks, as he walks over the bar.
"Sure," I smile, sitting down gracefully on his couch.
I cross my right leg over my left one, kicking it softly, anxiously.
"You’re nervous," Simon says, as he joins me on the sofa, handing me my drink.
"Huh?"
"Your leg," he said, nodding towards it. "You always do that when you’re nervous."
I halt my movements.
Once again, he was right.
"So," he begins, taking a sip of his drink.
I watch as his lips curl around the glass.
I’m transfixed.
"So," I echo, absentmindedly, my eyes still on his lips.
"Why are you here Paula?"
I slowly shift my gaze to his eyes.
"I…uh," I stutter, caught off guard.
Why am I here?
His guess is as good as mine.
"I’m not sure exactly," I laugh, nervously, kicking my leg again.
He places his hand on my knee, stilling my movements.
I practically melt beneath his touch.
He stares at me intently, all I want to do is jump him.
So I do.
I place my glass on the table and remove his from his hand, placing it beside mine.
I lean over and press my lips fully against his.
He jumps, shocked by my sudden movements.
Then he pulls back.
"Stop."
I tense and pull back, suddenly insecure.
"Paula, I’m just not sure we should…," he trails off.
I stare at him, not knowing what to say.
"..do this, again," he finishes.
"Yeah," I lean back into the couch, turning my face away from him. "Yeah, you’re right."
The next thing I know he’s on top of me, pressing me into the couch, his mouth on top of mine as he passionately pries my lips apart with his tongue.
I push him back, panting as I look into his wild eyes.
"I thought you just said…"
"Yeah, I changed my mind."
My eyes roll in the back of my head as his lips are on mine again.
Gentler this time, and I shudder.
It’s been a long year and a half.
But nothing has changed.
I never forgot the way his lips felt on mine.
I never forgot how hypnotic it was to be kissed by him.
Our chemistry was still there.
Five years later and this kiss is just as hot as the first one we ever shared.
"You’re a fucking bastard, you know that Simon?"
"I’m a bastard? I am? I think you’re the bastard Paula, you’re the one giving those kids a false hope when you know they are useless."
"You don’t have to be so mean about it Simon."
"You don’t have to be so mean to me."
"Maybe I’m just giving you what you deserve."
"Then maybe I should give you what you deserve."
He then walked over to me, pushing me against the wall as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
Quickly.
Before I had a chance to react.
He kept his lips there for a few moments.
Not moving.
Just pressing.
Hard.
He pulled away with a smirk.
Gauging my reaction.
He went to leave me but I grabbed him, pulling his face to mine, and I kissed him again.
Our mouths opened to each other, tongues meeting for the first time.
It was better than I ever imagined it would be.
I moan against him, as he presses his lips harder against mine, just like the first time.
I open my mouth to him, allowing his hot tongue to delve between my lips.
His tongue meets mine and I come close orgasming right then.
I moan as I raise my hips up, pressing my pelvis against his.
He pulls back, panting against my mouth as I gyrate my hips against him, his erection growing hard beneath my motions.
I groan as I continue to move against him and I tilt my head back into the couch.
His mouth finds its way to my neck and he sucks on it.
Harder and harder on that one spot.
My favorite spot.
Biting.
Sucking.
Biting.
Licking.
Biting.
His regimen is driving me insane.
I yelp as he bites down again –harder- as he clenches the bundle of nerves between his teeth.
"Oh God," I moan. "Oh God, Simon, don’t stop."
I remember the last time I told him not to stop.
"I didn’t think the show was ever going to end," I giggled, as we burst through his front door.
"You didn’t," he asked dumbfounded. "You didn’t have an erection the entire time just bursting to bury itself in your hot pussy," he whispered in my ear as he pressed his cock against my ass.
It was hard.
I smiled.
"Come on," I said, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to his bedroom.
He trailed right behind me, his hot breath on the back of my neck.
I took the stairs slowly.
Torturing him.
"God Paula, my grandmother could move faster than this," he whined. "And she’s dead."
I giggled, stopping on the stairs.
"Paula," he drawled.
I giggled again, sticking my ass out and grinding it against his cock.
His lips found that favorite spot on my neck as he sucked the flesh into his mouth.
My knees went weak.
I went limp in his arms as we both collapsed on the stairs.
He reached around me, unbuttoning my jeans as he slid them to my knees, baring my ass to him.
Using one hand he rubbed my most intimate of areas as he used his other hand to undo his own jeans as well.
He rubbed his erection up and down between my ass cheeks and to my pussy, then back again.
"C’mon, let’s go upstairs," he said.
"No," I said, my response muffled by the floor.
"No?"
"Don’t stop Simon, fuck me here."
"Are you sure?" he asked, continuing to rub his rock hard cock between my soaked lips.
"I’m sure. Please, please…just don’t stop."
And he didn’t.
His lips make their way farther down my neck, trailing his hot, open mouth across my bare skin, covering every inch available to him.
He reaches down and grasps the hem of my knee length dress, bunching it in his fists as he pulls it upwards.
I lift my upper body, allowing him to slide the flimsy material to my neck.
Then I sit up, as he peels the dress off and drops it to the floor, leaving me only in my lacy black thong.
His hands immediately cup my breasts, massaging them and holding them tenderly.
He lifts my right one to his mouth as he takes the nipple between his teeth, alternating between flicking it with his tongue and sucking on it lightly.
I groan, arching my back and pressing my breast against him.
I’m growing hornier by the second as I feel the wetness between my legs threatening to drip down my thighs.
I gyrate harder against him and tug on his shirt, silently begging him to take it off.
He complies, quickly discarding both his shirt and his jeans, dropping them on the floor beside my dress.
When he rejoins me on the couch, he studies me, the right side of his mouth curling into a sideways smirk.
"What?" I ask, playfully.
"I missed you Paula."
I smile and open my mouth to speak, but before I can he places his hand over my mouth, silencing me.
"Don’t tell anyone I said that."
"I won’t," I promise, kissing the fingers pressed against my lips.
His face then grows serious, and I know what he wants.
I sit up and kiss him softly, gently pushing him backwards so that I can move on top of him.
Moving back into sitting position and spreading my legs, I form a fist around his cock, slowly sliding my hand up and down as I glide it towards my opening.
Gingerly I sink down on him, gasping as he fills my tight, slick walls.
He moans when he has he filled me completely and I slowly begin to ride him.
I watch him as I move up and down, admiring his strong chest and toned arms.
I reach down and run my hands through the soft raven hair on his chest, taking a moment to pinch and tweak his nipples before I continue rubbing up and back down.
He leans up and wraps his hands around my head, pulling my face down to his.
Our lips meet in a hot, searing kiss.
It’s almost explosive.
"You taste delicious, Paula."
I giggle, remembering what happened the last time he said that.
"We can’t do it here, Simon!"
"Why not?"
"Because…because, what if we get caught?"
"That’s part of the fun, the chance that we might."
"Simon," I protested.
"What, you’ve never fucked in a public place, like a restaurant bathroom, before?"
"Simon there’s a big difference between a public bathroom and the Idol stage!"
"So let’s do it on the judges table then."
"Simon!"
He smirked.
I grinned, considering it for a moment.
"Okay," I relented.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, come on," I said, hopping up on the judges table and spreading my legs, making room for him in between.
He lifted my skirt, pushing it above my hips as I worked on his jeans, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down in one fluid motion.
He yanked my panties off, tossing them behind him.
"Simon!" I gasped. "I’ll need those!"
"Yes, but you don’t need them now," he whispered, right before he slammed into me.
"Oh God!!! Oh God," I shrieked, as he began pounding into me.
He pressed his lips against mine, silencing me with a kiss.
"You taste delicious darling," he said.
"Simon, Paula, may I ask what you’re doing?" we heard Nigel ask from the back of the room.
I smile down at him and when he opens his eyes, he smirks.
"What…wha-oooh, what…are you smiling…at?" he asks between thrusts.
"Just remembering the time..." I begin.
"With Nigel?" he asks.
"Yeah," I giggle.
"Now wasn’t that…worth...it?"
I pause as I clench him with my inner walls.
"Definitely."
"Told you."
I raise an eyebrow at him, halting my motions.
"Do you always have to be right?" I ask, teasingly.
"No."
"Really?"
"I don’t always have to be, I just always am."
I laugh and rolled my eyes.
"Some things never change."
"Yeah, like, the fact that you’re talking and not fucking me," he banters with a wink as he softly runs his hand up my inner thigh.
My giggles turned into moans as his fingers find my clit, squeezing and flicking gently.
"You’re right, what was I thinking?" I ask, as I began moving on him again, this time at a more rapid pace.
"See, I’m always right…" he begins before I slam down on him again.
"Oh God, Paula, fuck, oh yeah, oh God…oohh" he moans as his eyes squeeze shut.
Mine fall closed as well, concentrating on the feeling of his warm cock massaging my inner walls as I clench and unclench around him.
I gyrate my hips as I sink down on him and he thrusts up into me at the same rapid pace.
A few moments later, I lose it.
My nails dig in his forearms as I scream, my vaginal walls and abs spasming as my orgasm engulfs me.
My entire body feels numb, the only part I’m aware of is the heat in my pussy and his cock still thrusting into me over and over without restraint.
Then finally- a few moments later, I feel him empty his warm seed inside of me as he screams my name.
I collapse on him, limp, as his flaccid cock slides out of my soaked depths.
I can feel the juices of our sex pouring down my legs as we both pant and gasp for air- our bodies hot and sweaty.
It is a few moments later before we speak again.
"I should get going," I say.
"You’re leaving?" he asks, pausing. "Again?"
"Simon I came here to promote my album not to…"
"Fuck me."
I pause.
"Well, yeah."
"So what? This is it?"
I sigh, lifting my head and propping my chin on his chest, looking up at him.
"I don’t want this to be it."
"You don’t?"
"No."
I’m only vaguely aware of the dead air as his hand runs softly up and down my spine.
I turn my face back on its side, laying it back on his chest, and I feel him take a deep breath.
"Good then," he says simply.
"Yeah."
I start to laugh.
"What’s so funny?"
"I…don’t know," I say between giggles. "It’s just…every time I’m around you, I end up fucking you."
"And this is a bad thing why?" he asks, mock-seriously.
"Not a bad thing," I say, trying to calm my giggles. "Just…weird. No one has ever had this power over me before."
"What can I say? Women simply can’t resist me," he says smugly.
I lift my head again, kissing the cleft on his chin.
"I resisted you for a while," I argue weakly.
"Oh please, I had you begging the first night you ever set foot in this house."
"You did not," I argue, even though I know he’s right.
"I did too," he says. "Right over there."
He points towards the fireplace and I smile.
"You remember that?" I ask, surprised.
"Of course I remember, Paula."
Oh, so did I.
So did I.
"Teach me," he said earnestly.
"You want me to teach you?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, I’ve always wanted to try this ‘yoda’ thing."
"Yoga," I corrected him.
"Oh, yoga. Okay."
"Well, uh, sit down…over there," I said, pointing to the fireplace.
He smirked at me and walked over to the fireplace, and I followed him.
"Okay, now, sit down and cross your legs. You have to clear your mind before we can actually start."
He followed my directions, sitting down and placing his hands on his knees, forming a small "o" with his thumb and forefinger.
"HhhMmmmmmmmm" he hummed, pretending to meditate.
I giggled.
"Stop it, you don’t have to do that," I laughed.
"Okay," I said, plopping down beside him in Indian-style.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
"Now," I began. "Take deep breaths and focus on clearing your mi-,"
Before I could finish my sentence, Simon was on top of me, pressing his hot mouth against mine.
I gasped and jerked my head back, surprised.
We stared at each other for a moment before my mouth attacked his and we laid back on the floor, peeling clothes off as quickly as we could…
"Okay, I really have to go this time," I say, smiling as I lift myself off of him.
He clenches his hands around my upper arms, holding me in place.
I giggle.
"Simon, you gotta let me go."
He leans up and kisses me, softly, before pulling back.
I smile softly, leaning back into him.
Our lips part softly as our tongues meet, tenderly.
We kiss like that for a few moments before I pull away again.
"Okay, I really have to go this time."
He leans in again, kissing me a little harder this time.
I furrow my brows and kiss him back, thrusting my tongue feverishly into his mouth.
I break away.
"Okay, I really have to go this time."
He sighs with a smile, releasing my arms from his grasp.
"Okay," he relents.
"Thank you," I giggle, standing up and picking my dress and thong off the floor, dressing quickly.
He remains where he is on the couch, naked and in all his glory.
It’s all I can do to leave instead of jumping back on the couch and ravishing him again.
I walk towards the door, pausing when my hand reaches the doorknob.
Motionless.
A wave of nostalgia hits me.
This was the exact same place we were both in the last time I left.
I turn the doorknob and stare at it for a moment.
The same way I did the last time.
"Paula?" he says.
I turn to look at him.
"I love you."
I smile brightly back at him, a surge of relief shooting through me.
He finally said it.
"I love you too."
We both pause, staring at each other for a moment.
"I’ll be back," I say as I grab my keys.
"I’ll be waiting."
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