Her Despair Kissing Our Lips | By : TenshiNoReyire Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1207 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: Not a happy one again. Not to fear fellow Ville/Bam lovers, I'll get through posting my angst fics eventually. lol ... and of course usual disclaimer, I don't own anyone and this is fiction.
Ville held Bam close and tried to fight back the tears forming in his eyes...if only he had gotten here sooner...no no there wasn't time for this...there wasn't time for this at all. He picked up Bam and struggled, slipping in the mud. The rain continued to pour down, soaking the both of them.
...no one can hurt you now...in this haven safe and sound...
If only he could have seen this coming...if only he hadn't let her break his heart...if only he had just fucking TOLD him...just told him the truth. He wouldn't have Bam's blood dripping down his arms now...
...no one can save you now...from this grace you are drowning in...
"Bam," he whispered. "Bam you're not going to die on me. Not after everything I went through." Ville thought he saw Bam's eyes flicker open. Ville struggled to stand again, still whispering to Bam. He stood up and clawed his way up the muddy hill with Bam in his arms.
"Bam...I love you, ok? You can't die..." Ville choked back a sob, and as he reached the meadow, began to run as fast as he could over the wet grass. The darkness of nightfall offered him no help, as there was no moon lighting up the sky that night. There was only the rain falling on the grass and the trees.
...just hold your breath on your way down...
Ville clutched Bam's limp body to himself as he felt himself go sprawling to the ground. Only taking a moment to make sure Bam was ok, he stood up and continued to run towards the house. He could see the lights. Finally...somehow he remembered making it to the door and falling to his knees. Someone had actually noticed him coming to the door and opened it to look out at him. He stared up at April and gasped for air. All he managed to say was:
"Somebody help him...I love him..."
He must have passed out then because he woke up on the Margera's couch about five minutes later. He sat up right away, his still wet hair flinging water everywhere.
"Where's Bam?"
"Ville, calm down." Raab and Dunn were sitting on the floor near him, just staring.
"Where the fuck is he?"
"Lying down until the ambulance comes."
Without waiting to hear anymore he jumped up and ran across the room and ran to the front door. April grabbed Ville by the shoulders before he went any further.
"Ville, stop."
"I have to see Bam." He struggled but April had a tight grip on his shoulders.
"The ambulance is on it's way. They're taking him to Brandywine Hospital. There isn't anymore you can do to help him...we don't know why he did what he did...but...there will be time for that later."
"Then I want to ride in the ambulance with him."
"No. I'm going with him. You go back and get cleaned up and rest and Phil and the guys will drive you over later."
Ville stared at April. Now she was a calm minded person. As opposed to the other 95% of the time. Simply nodding, Ville retreated back to the house and climbed up the stairs to take a shower and change his clothes. His mind blank, he went through the motions of getting ready to take a shower. It wasn't until the hot water hit him, that he blinked and realized what had just happened. He took a deep breath and tried to think back to what had happened.
...this fortress of tears...i've built from my fears for you...
*********************************************
Ville found Bam curled in a ball on his bed. Ville poked Bam gently in the side with one of his fingers.
"Bammy? You alright?"
Bam didn't answer him at first, and Ville's stomach turned. "Bam hello? Answer me if you're still alive!"
"Leave me alone...please Ville..."
"Why can't you just talk to me? I'm your best friend!"
"Jenn told me she hates me and never wants to see me again...she said I'm a lying bastard and all I do is cheat on her and...god Ville...please just leave me alone."
"Bam, I'm just trying to help you."
"Don't." Bam sat up and his eyes caught Ville's for a moment. There was something strange in Bam's eyes but Ville could only look for a second before Bam took off. He ran down the hall and down the steps. Ville tried to follow but Bam ran out the door and into the woods. Ville just watched him go and retreated back inside. He went upstairs to try to work out his frustration and worry through lyrics and wait for Bam to return.
...this fortress won't fall...i've built it strong for you...
A while later, Ville looked out the window and noticed it getting dark. Worried, he got up and decided to find Bam. He knew where Bam was. He knew the spot Bam always went to when he wanted to get away from everyone and everything. There was a light rain as he went out the door and he took a deep breath. The summer air was very cool that night. Slowly he went down the muddy hills and through endless mazes of trees. He ducked between two trees that grew very close together and went into the tiny clearing where Bam was.
...no one can free you now...from the chains around your heart...
Bam was lying slumped over on the ground. Ville's heart beat quickly as he moved to gently roll his friend over. Bam's arms were both sliced open, blood still pouring from the wounds.
"Bam...oh my god..." Ville saw a bloody pocketknife still clutched in Bam's hand. Bam's cheeks were still wet with warm tears. Suddendly the rain began to come down heavier. Ville held Bam close...
...no one can hurt you now...in this haven safe and sound...
Ville leaned against the cold shower wall and let himself finally cry. Would Bam be alright? Would it even matter? Bam tried to kill himself over Jenn...It had nothing to do with Ville. Nothing. Ville just wanted his best friend back...even if Bam didn't love him...he just wanted to see that smile again, he just wanted to see those gorgeous ice blue eyes.
Ville finally got out of the shower. He actually didn't take too long. It just felt that way. He got dressed in a rush, pulling a beanie on over his wet hair. He rushed everyone else along until they were finally all in the car and heading towards the hospital. Ville leaned with his arm on the window and silently watched the highway go by. Most everything was dark, except for things lit up by lone streetlamps. Sighing, he leaned back and read the signs.
'Lancaster avenue...Manor avenue...blah blah blah' he thought.
No matter what he did he couldn't distract himself. He buried his head in his hands and waited for someone to tell him they had arrived.
...don't be afraid now...
They got to the hospital and Ville attempted to compose himself by walking but couldn't help walking very fast. A wide eyed nurse directed them to where April was sitting.
"April...did you hear anything?"
April didn't look up, she just shook her head. Everyone took a seat except Ville. He began to pace nervously around the waiting room. Not only was he already on edge, he really wanted a cigarette. But of course, no smoking in a hospital.
"Why did he do it?" a small voice whispered. Everyone turned to look at Raab. He just shrugged and looked away. A few people looked up at Ville for an answer.
"Jenn." was all Ville said as he walked across the room.
No one said anything else as Ville took a seat a bit further away from the group. He looked down and saw that his hands were shaking. He desperatly wanted to get the cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He sighed loudly and leaned back.
Ville felt someone shaking his shoulder. It was Dunn.
"What the fuck, dude?"
"You just totally crashed out in the chair, man. The doctor is here to tell us about Bam."
"Oh...sorry." Ville put his hands in his pockets because they were shaking again.
...just dive in this emptiness...
An overworked doctor came out with a clipboard. He stared at the large group in the waiting room and then flipped through the papers on his clipboard. He said nothing for a few minutes.
"Say something..." Ville muttered, impatiently.
"Well, when Mr. Margera was brought in, he was in pretty bad shape." The doctor went on to list Bam's multiple self-inflicted injuries. Ville stared at the ceiling as the doctor droned on and on for what seemed like forever. He could feel his heart pounding loudly and his stomach turned.
"Currently Mr. Margera is..." The doctor paused. Ville looked up, his eyes already full of worry and tears.
...and hold your breath on your way down...
The End
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