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One Helluva Party	By : walter Category: Individual Celebrities > Anna Nicole Smith Views: 7638 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Anna Nicole Smith. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-One Helluva Party.
- 1
It’s already fifteen past midnight; we’re running incredibly late. Anna’s new dog, Spike (a Pomeranian, the runt of the litter) had vomited all over Anna’s new Anne Klein duvet. It took the maid twenty minutes to scrub out the stain, and it took me three hours to wait for the veterinarian to make a house call (only in Mullholland, eh?). Another two hours were spent in front of the floor length mirror.
“Does this make me look fat?” Anna asks in her squeaky southern lilt.
“No, your ass does.”
“What’d you say, hon’?”
“The limo’s outside, darling dearest, time to shake a leg.”
Anna holds a navy crushed velvet gown against her Frederick’s of Hollywood bustier (only the classiest stuff for this broad). She holds another dress, a pink taffeta number with frilly pirate sleeves.
“Which one, which one?” She asks anxiously.
“If I don’t get a Vicodin within ten minutes I’m going to go fucking insane.”
Anna sighs and throws the navy dress on the duvet.
“Fine, I’ll go with the pink!” She shouts.
I straighten my tie in the mirror. Behind me I can see Anna bending to step into her dress. Her thighs are thick, thicker than television presents them to be. Her stocking-tops cut into the ample flesh just inches from her derriere.
“I see you peeking.” She says.
“I wasn’t peeking.”
“I saw it.”
“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh?”
Anna turns toward me and tries her best to saunter sexily over to me. It’s more of a shuffle, really, and it reminds me (strangely enough of a manatee). Since manatees turn me on for some strange reason (ever since that trip to the Aquarium, age seven) I felt a slight tightness in my slacks. Anna pressed her bulk against me. I fell back against the bureau. I look down at her cleavage, which is almost like a second ass, squeezed into a bra one-size too small.
“So you don’t, like, totally want me right now?” She says as she flutters her eyelashes coquettishly.
“Want you? I’m completely repulsed right now… I think I might vomit all over your lingerie.”
“Then what’s this in your pants?”
She runs her against my crotch.
“It’s a rocket; I thought we might set it off later…”
She kisses me violently, like she’s trying to suck the soul from my lips. She bites my lip, I taste blood. My cell phone goes off; it’s the limo driver.
“It’s the driver again. Get dressed now.”
She frowns.
“Couldn’t we stay in tonight?” She asks like a three year old.
She runs her hand up my chest.
“We could play horsey…” She says.
“You know how important this deal is, honeylumps… c’mon, let’s go!”
“You got margaritas in this thing?” Anna asks.
She keeps raising and lowering the window, cheering gleefully with each button press. There’s a slit which runs all the way up her large thigh, past her tacky white stockings. I fight the urge to pinch her.
“No, but I have tequila…”
“Ooo, ooo, let’s do body shots!” She exclaims.
“Ooo, ooo, let’s not.”
“Oh pooh, you’re no fun!”
I pull the bottle of tequila and a shot glass from the limo’s bar. I pour an ample shot for an ample girl. She downs it as if it were water.
“Quick, hit me again!” She demands.
I smack her.
She smacks me back.
“No you idiot, give me another shot!” She snarls.
“Oh, sorry.”
I pour her another shot. She downs it faster than the first.
“It’s gonna be a party tonight, baby!” She says.
“I can’t wait.”
Anna leans close to me and whispers in my ear.
“You can smack me all you want after the party.”
“I’m not your pappy.”
“You’re right about that, he lasted twice as long in the sack.”
I shudder.
“I’m kidding, jeezus!” She says.
She plants her hand firmly on my crotch.
“Lighten up, sugar! It’s New Year’s!”
Anna smiles as she unzips my fly.
“If I do this, will you go down on me in the bathroom when the ball drops?”
“It already has dropped you moron.”
She pulls my cock out; I never wear underwear. Her long tongue unfolds from between her glittered lips and dabs at the head of my penis. She teases me with each touch; everything’s a game to Anna. I pull her long, permed, blonde hair out of her face. She looks up at me and smiles.
“Do you like it when I suck your cock?” She asks.
“I dunno, it’s been so long I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like…”
“Hold onto to something…”
I pour myself a shot of tequila and down it.
“Ahem.” She clears her throat.
Anna motions for me to pour her another. I pour the shot and pour it down her throat. I suck on those luscious, glittery pink lips of hers.
She swallows half my cock. I can feel the soft envelope of her throat, her fingers massaging the base of my shaft. Anna always gave good head, even in High School… especially in High School. She swallows me down to the base. I look down at this plump little piggy gnawing on my bone. I close my eyes and think of sunny fields, meadows, mountains, the Von Trapp family. Anna makes a sucking sound as she goes up for air and then she slides her mouth right back down on my piece. I reach down to massage those hefty breasts of hers; she coos a bit at the touch. I take another shot of tequila. I hike her dress up a bit so I can see the enormity of her pear-shaped (basket full of pears) ass. She’s wearing a g-string even though I told her not to, oh well, c’e la vie.
She works my dick like a toothless Saigon whore. I’m in the stratosphere. I’m floating past the moon. I’m circling Andromeda. I’m—
“We’re here sir.” Says the driver through the intercom.
“What?” Anna asks as she turns to hear.
I pull her face back toward my cock. I erupt all over her cheek and mouth.
She pushes me back against the seat.
“You asshole!” She says.
Anna sits up and grabs her purse from the seat.
“You fucking asshole!”
“Sorry…”
“Do you know how long it to me to put on my make-up?”
I tuck my pants into my shirt and button my slacks.
Anna wipes the cum from her face with a wetnap. We sit in the limo for another ten minutes as she re-applies.
I divest myself of another shot of tequila.
“You know, the party’s gonna by the time you—”
“Oh, shut up! I’m finished already! Let’s go.”
She opens the door and kicks me in the shin. I climb out of the limo. Looks like Neil rolled out the red carpet. I’m impressed. Anna steps out of the limo. I hold out my elbow. She looks down at my crotch.
“Your fly’s undone.” She says.
I zip up my fly.
Anna saunters into the party ahead of me in full-blown diva mode.
Neil’s mansion is large, larger than Jack Nicholson’s. I find myself wondering how a man can get so rich off of a teen-doctor sitcom. Every inch of space, every room, every nook, every cranny is packed wall-to-wall with people. Anna’s already off screaming incoherently with long lost girlfriends. Oh shit, there’s Nicole.
“Hey, Erik… fashionably late as always I see…” She remarks.
She’s holding that Martini for dear life. Her eyes are half-closed.
“Nicole… how’s Paris?”
“I wouldn’t know. She charges $20,000 for an appearance these days.”
“Wow. Wonder if she does Bar Mitzvahs…”
Nicole laughs. She downs the rest of her martini.
“So… you haven’t called me in like, forever… who’re you here with?” Nicole asks.
“No one in particular.”
“Goin’ stag, are you?” She asks playfully.
She stabs an uncoordinated finger at my lapel.
“Well, you know how it is these days…”
I see Kate Moss hanging out at the snack table.
“Will you excuse me, Nic…”
I don’t wait around for her response.
I walk up beside Kate. She’s loading a tiny plastic plate full of veggie pups in blankets. She has two drinks in the other hand.
“Here, let me get that for you.” I offer as I grab the plate.
“Thanks—hey, Erik! Just the man I was looking for!” Kate says.
“Oh? Well it just so happens I was looking for you too…”
She stumbles into the restroom and I’m right behind her. Kate locks the door, pulls the lid off the toilet tank, sits down and rests the lid on her lap. I pull a modest-sized bag of blow from my inside jacket pocket. I hand it to her.
“How much?” She asks.
“For you? Gratis. Think of it as a New Year’s gift.”
“You yanks give gifts for New Year’s?”
“Not really, no.”
She pours a lump of white powder onto the porcelain tank. I hand her my platinum American Express card. Some idiot pounds on the bathroom door.
“Occupied at the moment.” Says Kate.
“Kate, is that you?” Asks the man’s voice from the other side.
“Hedy?”
“Are you doing what I think you’re doing, ‘cause if so I want some.”
“Well then you’ll be disappointed to know that I’m just wanking some guy off.”
“What? Which guy?”
Kate dices out a few thick lines.
“Jason Alexander. I just love a man who’s funny.”
“Oh, well, when you’re finished I’ll be out back, drowning my sorrows in Gin.”
“Alright, love, cheers… fucking git. d’you got any cash on you?”
I pull out my money clip and slip a hundred from the stack. Kate rolls the bill like an expert and snorts two lines in rapid succession. She wipes the residue from her nostrils.
“Oh fuck, that’s better.” She remarks as she hands me the bill.
I snort two lines. A golden crown descends from the heavens. Everything becomes crisper. I realize that Neil has good taste in bathroom tile. Kate looks like some thin, wasted, strung-out, goddess. Her stringy blonde hair radiates like Botticelli’s Venus. I want to taste the coke on the back of her teeth. I want to rub my sweaty palms on the inside of her twig-like thighs. Kate pours out another pile of coke.
There’s another knock at the door.
“Go the fuck away!” Kate yells.
“I have need of the facilities.” Says a matronly voice through the door.
“Martha, go fuck yourself!” Kate says.
“If I had wanted to do that I would’ve stayed at home.”
“Did you just tell Martha Stewart to go fuck herself?” I ask.
“It’s high time someone has.”
Kate finishes dicing the new lines. We snort in rapid succession. I turn abruptly and look into my eyes in the mirror. I like horrible, but in a confident sort of way. My wrinkles don’t bother me in the slightest. Kate replaces the toilet lid and stands beside me. Her spindly arms rap around my waist.
“Thank you, Erik.”
“No problem, babe.”
The next minute we’re on the tile floor, sucking face, flailing wildly as we tear at each other’s clothing. I pull off her shirt and she’s wearing a Hermes bra.
“I thought they dropped you?” I ask.
She shrugs.
“They’re good clothes.” She says.
I undo her bra to expose her miniscule breasts, pert, with large puffy nipples. As I kiss her I run my hand from her breasts to her crotch. Her panties are wet. She’s undoing my belt. I begin to tug at her panties (from Hermes I’m sure). I just about lay my fingers on her cunt when she stops me.
“Wait wait wait!” Kate says.
“You feel guilty don’t you? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No no, it’s not that… I want to shag you… it’s just… I’d rather find a bed. This floor is too cold.”
Kate and I step out of the bathroom, clothes barely fixed, eyes burning with coke. We weave through clusters of celebrities. Everyone wants to shake my hand. I scowl at a few people. I bark at Juliette Lewis. Every bedroom is filled. Regis is mainlining with Kelly in some spare bedroom. The Governator inspects busts in another bedroom. Vinnie can’t believe his luck in the master bedroom.
“Jeez, all these bedrooms and not one empty one!”
“Come here, we’ll go upstairs.” Kate says.
She pulls me by my belt up to the second floor. We duck into the first bedroom we can find. It’s pitch dark. I trip over a pump and fall onto the shag carpeting. Kate flips on the light. There, passed out on the king-sized bed, is Anna Nicole. In her arms, Elijah Wood is curled like a baby and fast asleep.
I tap Elijah on the shoulder.
“Hey, bud, Frodo…”
“Hunh, whuh?” He opens his eyes, half-dazed.
“I think Samwise has a surprise for you in the Hobbit-hole…”
“Hunh… oh?”
Elijah stumbles out of the room. Kate locks the door behind him. I gently smack Anna on the face. She has a rubber hose around her bicep… shooting up again.
“Hey, Anna!”
I grab her face and shake her a bit.
“Hey, c’mon.”
She stares up at me from her blissful island of nothing and smiles.
“Are you gonna fuck me?” She asks.
“You’re fucking blasted.” I say.
“She can watch, but she can’t touch me…” Anna says, pointing toward Kate.
Kate’s busy unbuttoning her blouse and pulling down her skirt. I stand up from the bed and take off my pants and shirt. Kate and I embrace. I press myself against the angled contours of her bony frame. She withers at my touch, like a dried daisy. Kate reaches down and starts pulling on my cock.
“Not bad…” She says.
I rub her clit with my fingers.
“Not bad yourself.”
“Let’s fuck around with her…”
Kate nods toward Anna.
“I dunno… she’s almost catatonic…”
“C’mon, it’ll be fun.”
I give in.
Kate walks over to the bed and begins hiking up Anna’s dress. I unclasp her stockings and slide them off her large legs.
“What’re you doing… I’m not insured…” Anna says, half-asleep.
“What?” Kate asks.
“She hardly makes any sense when she’s conscious, let alone now.”
Kate undoes Anna’s bustier. Anna’s breasts tumble out, spreading flat on her round stomach. I pull her g-string panties off. Anna unconsciously spreads her legs. I watch as Kate climbs onto the bed, between Anna’s legs.
“Hand me the coke.” Kate says.
I pulls the baggie from her purse and hand it to her. She does a bump off of Anna’s belly. I snort a line off of Anna’s breast. Kate wipes the residue from Anna with her index finger, rubs her gums, sucks her finger and then rubs Anna’s clit with it.
“Ohhhh.” Anna moans in her heroin stupor.
Kate plunges her finger into Anna and then flicks her tongue over Anna’s moist clit. My heart races as I watch Kate eat out my girlfriend. Kate’s legs dangle over the side of the bed, her ass taunts me. I can take it no more. I walk up behind Kate and then I ease myself into her slowly. She shudders as she pushes back on my cock. Kate looks back at me and smiles. Kate turns back to Anna’s clit. Anna moans again.
I slide myself in and out of Kate, she’s small still, not as loose as I thought she’d be. I run my nails up the backs of her thighs as she moans over the lapping sounds of her tongue.
Anna’s hands are guiding Kate’s head. She’s looking down at Kate with love in her eyes. It’s a shared moment. I pull out of Kate and tap her on the ass. She pauses.
“What?” Kate asks.
“Help me flip her over.”
“What?”
“I’ve always wanted to do this.”
Kate helps me flip Anna onto her stomach. We run our hands down the naked folds of Anna’s body, relishing each jiggle, each pinch, each caress. I climb onto the bed behind Anna and pull her ass up into the air. I rub my cock along her pussy and then I plunge it inside. Anna moans into the pillow. Kate plays with her breasts. As I thrust into her I feel like Anna might just suck me inside. Her mass shakes, reverberates with each pound. She’s so slick I keep sliding out. Kate’s kissing Anna on the lips, sucking her tongue like it was vital medicine.
Kate climbs onto the bed, sits on the pillows and crams Anna’s head into her crotch. With a handful of Anna’s hair in her fist, Kate guides her head, grinding Anna’s lips and nose against her cunt. Kate moans with each thrust.
I pull my cock from Anna’s pussy, rub her moisture between her ass cheeks, all over her anus, and then slowly, surely, I sink my shaft into her ass.
Anna moans in pain. Kate moans when she sees that I’m fucking Anna in the ass.
“Oh my god!” Kate says.
I bury myself all the way to the hilt in Anna’s anus. The warmth of her tight bung burns me like elysian honey. I work it harder. Harder. Anna grunts with each thrust like the little piggy she is. Kate stops rubbing Anna’s face against her clit and climbs out from under her. Kate climbs on top of Anna and slides her ass down the small of Anna’s back until her pussy’s stacked right above my cock pounding into her.
“Fuck me, Erik!” Kate orders.
I pull out of Anna. She moans with the sheer ecstasy of release. I slide my cock into Kate’s cunt. She pulls away.
“Not there… in my bung…”
I rub Anna’s cum all over Kate’s ass, between her cheeks, on her anus and then I push the head in. Kate screams out in pain. I pull out.
“Are you sure you—”
“Don’t stop!” Kate orders.
I shrug and push my head back into her. She whines as she pushes back on every inch of my cock. I work her clit with my fingers as I fuck her ass. She works Anna’s clit with her fingers as she moans in pain and pleasure. I’m flying through space, the stars stretch to infinity; I burst inside Kate’s asshole. She whimpers as I blow. She holds me in her for a while afterwards.
I pull out. I wash up in the adjoining bathroom. Kate grabs a “fag” from her purse and lights it. I come back out of the bathroom and lay back down on the bed beside Anna.
“That was fucking brilliant.” Kate says.
“Thank you.” I say.
“And thank you.” She answers.
“Anyway, I’d better get back downstairs, I’m sure Hedy’s having a fucking fit…”
“I’m sure he is.”
“See you around, Erik.”
“Cheers, Kate.”
I look down at my massive girl, Anna… she missed one helluva party.
- 1
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One Helluva Party