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So far	By : Footbacon Category: Individual Celebrities > Eddie Izzard Views: 1321 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the celebrity I am writing about. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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He had noticed her when she walked into the room. He’d watched as she sipped her drink, her hair brushing her shoulders and fringe hiding her eyes. She looked like she was as unhappy as he felt, he wanted to know why. He tried to tear his eyes away from her, but they kept being drawn back as though they had a mind of their own.

He wished he could summon the confidence to go and speak to her. He’d come to the bar alone, he only wished that she had too.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I let my eyes wander around the bar, attempting to drink in the trendy surroundings. I hadn’t been here before, it had only been open a week or so. They wouldn’t usually come to a modern place like this, but Chris knew one of the bar staff who had promised free drinks, so he had brought me here for a night out before he went on his business trip. I’d not said anything to him, but was glad of the break they would be having.

“Ere, get me another drink, I’m just goin for a piss” He drained his pint glass and strode away from where they’d been standing, leaving me alone. I watched him leave and thought about leaving myself, just walking away and starting afresh. I would do eventually, just had to get the nerve to do it. I sighed and wandered over to get some more drinks.

I leant against the bar, laying my palms flat against the mirror surface. They were already icy cold, but felt like I needed to hold onto something.

Catching the bar mans eye, I ordered our drinks in, getting a vodka & coke to go with my wine and a lager for Chris. I glanced towards the men’s toilets and drank the vodka while a group of rowdy men entered the bar and stood next to me. They seemed like they were celebrating something – I hated how men like them could make you feel so intimidated. I fiddled with the clasp on my new bag, part of me wishing that Chris would hurry back. As I did, one of the men jumped up, knocking my wineglass over. The glass was sent skating across the bar – straight into a man, spilling down his black jacket and onto his jeans.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” I rushed over to him, grabbing a wad of napkins as I went and mopping up the bar, smearing the mirrored surface.

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it” The man softly spoke, his voice seemed familiar, but in my rushed state, didn’t pay attention.

“No, really, here” I grabbed some more napkins and as I passed them to him, our hands brushed. I hadn’t realised, but was shaking. He moved closer to me and steadied my hands with his, they instantly warm and as they touch I feel a slight humming sensation, like two messages meeting on a wire. I slowly looked up at his face for the first time and met his eyes, as blue as oceans and pure as sky, gazing back down into mine. Time seemed to slow, all I could feel was his hands around mine and the intensity of his stare. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke…

“Hi…” he exhaled the greeting without breaking their gaze

I lost my breath and stammered “Hello…” I let a laugh escape me. How could I make such a fool of myself in such a short space of time, I thought.

He gave a lopsided smile and looked down at their hands, intertwined with each other.

I realised we had been stood toe to toe for longer than we should and pulled away from him, blushing. “I’m sorry about the drink” I uttered.

“Like I said, don’t worry about it, not your fault after all” He glared at the men who were getting louder by the minute. “Let me buy you another one?”

I glanced up at him and before realising what I was doing, I’d said ok.

I watched him as he caught the bar mans attention, saw his blonde hair catch the light and wondered why he seemed so familiar then suddenly out of the corner of my eye – I saw Chris striding back to me. I could see him notice this man stood closely and a muscle in his cheek twitched.

Chris loomed up beside me and pulled me close to him. “Hey” he said to the man. He turned away from the bar with my new glass of wine and he saw how Chris had pulled me tightly to him.

“Alright mate? Sorry, I knocked this drink over and thought I should do the gentlemanly thing and buy another.” He had lied – if he’d said the drunken bloke had knocked it over I knew that Chris would have wondered why he’d offered a drink. Chris could get very jealous and usually ended up losing his temper over the slightest thing.

Chris looked him up and down, trying to weigh up his thoughts on him. I hoped his short temper would hold out. “Oh…ok, cheers then mate” Chris said hastily, attempting a smile. I smiled up at him, encouraging him to play nice.

“No problem” He offers me my glass and Chris tightens his arm around me.

“Thank you…erm, sorry, I’ve lost all my manners…I’m Amy” I was eager to hear this strangers name then remembered I was with Chris. I gestured to him “and this is Chris”. “Her boyfriend” he finished for me.

“I’m Eddie” He offered his hand, staring intently at me. I tried to avoid his eyes as I took his hand and he gently squeezed mine.

Chris stared stonily at his pint as he shook Eddie’s hand. “Yeah, cheers for replacing the drink anyway” He turned away from Eddie. “Look babe, are we gonna go for a dance tonight or just stand around here like plebs?” He glanced at Eddie, who returned an icy stare.

I looked towards the dance floor where the DJ was playing some repetitive dance tune – it didn’t look appealing to me but knew that I’d have to compromise. I’d met a cute guy, Chris could have his dance. “Yeah, ok then” I gave in and turned back to Eddie.

“Thanks again for the drink Eddie” I smiled up at him.

“Anytime” he breathed, smiling softly back at me. I saw something in him that I liked, a tenderness, I wished I could have stayed longer.

Reluctantly I turned away and was led to the dance floor. Chris started throwing some weird shapes and as I danced I stole a few glances at Eddie, he was on his own. I watched as he talked to the barman then he turned, looking straight at me as if he’d felt my eyes on him. At that moment Chris bounced across, breaking our line of vision. As he passed I stuck my tongue out at him. Turning back to Eddie I laughed as I saw him laughing into his drink. After the first song I started to get into the music, it made me feel numb and I imagined being somewhere else. But after a few more tracks I couldn’t stand the beat anymore and made my excuses to go to the bathroom.

When I returned, Chris had left the dance floor. I scoured the bar and eventually saw him in the corner of the room – with those rowdy blokes. Typical, I thought to myself.

My eyes wandered around the room again, hoping to see Eddie, but there was no sign of him. I slowly made my way to join Chris, who introduced me to the men. The one who had spilt my drink earlier showed a slight glimmer of recognition, but didn’t apologise. Chris said that they were celebrating a birthday, they were going to a club. “Urrgh” I thought, I didn’t fancy going to a club with that bunch so I told him I had a headache. Which was true, it was from Chris though, not the music.

I watched the group as they left, barging their way through the crowd and laughing at each others crude jokes. I got another drink by myself and decided to get a packet of cigs from the shop down the road as I left. I never brought any out with me, but always ended up taking them home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He couldn’t stay there anymore, it felt like he was punishing himself for something he hadn’t done, standing all on his own again. Meeting Amy had seemed to make the feeling worse and better all at the same time. She had captivated him, he was still buzzing off the feeling when they had touched, he’d never experienced anything like that before.

But then seeing the man she was with had been like a punch in the gut. How cruel it was to have felt something so extraordinary, only to find that it couldn’t be had. He had watched her for a while longer as she danced. When she made him laugh it took all of his strength to stop himself from stealing her away from her boyfriend right there and then.

He had to stop torturing himself, he thought and paid the bill, leaving the bar and Amy behind.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I bought my cigs and as it was a warm night decided to walk for a little while before going home to my grotty flat. I wanted to make the most of the warm weather while it was still here. I walked through a small park next to a river, flowing gently. I stepped onto the bridge and leant against the railings, watching the starry sky reflected in the waters surface. I pulled a cigarette from the pack and searched my bag for a lighter, I was sure I’d had one earlier.

“Terrible habit, you know”

I jumped, I hadn’t noticed anyone else around here. “Stay away!” I shouted.

“You didn’t want to earlier” the voice protested. A flame appeared out of the dark and the face to the voice came into view.

It was Eddie. “Hope I’m not going to get wet this time” He glanced down at the river, laughing. “I’ve only just got dried off”.

I gave a sigh of relief and laughed “God, I thought it was some psycho or something!”

“Nah, only psycho tonight was the bloke you were at the bar with” He smirked, wondering why she wasn’t with him now.

“Don’t say that! He’s currently taking medication for his problem!” I broke into a grin and he laughed again.

Eddie leaned forwards and lit my cigarette for me, then stood next to me, silently watching the river beneath us.

“So…how come you left the bar?” I enquired, not wanting to seem to nosy, but wanting to know more about this man who’d had such an effect on me.

“Oh, I just got bored of the music, thought I’d come for a walk” He lied then paused, deciding to tell her half of the truth“…and…my date didn’t turn up” He frowned.

“I’m sorry Eddie, that’s horrible!” I knew how it felt to be stood up, it’d happened to me a few times before. “It happened to me a couple of years ago, I felt like a right tit waiting on my own”

Eddie frowned again and lit his own cigarette “What an arsehole, I’d never do that to somebody”

“Yeah, me neither…and you should have seen who he stood me up fo…”

He interrupted “Let me guess, he was shagging some tart”

“Nah, he was at McDonalds eating a whopper burger!”

Eddie looked at me, checking if I was joking, then burst out laughing, his eyes watering as he exclaimed, “I don’t know which is worse! The tart or the burger!”

I laughed with him “It didn’t do much for my confidence” I grinned.

“No” he sighed “it hasn’t done much for mine either” He leaned against the railings and blew a puff of smoke out into the night sky.

I couldn’t understand how someone could have stood him up, he seemed to ooze confidence, was easy to talk to, not to mention him being gorgeous.

I shook my head “If she couldn’t be bothered to turn up then she’s not worth you doubting yourself over her.”

He carried on staring into the murky water, not saying anything.

“Honestly, you can do so much better than her. There were loads of women in that bar looking at you”

Eddie looked up at me “You don’t know why do you?”

“They must have fancied the pants off you, either that or you had a bogie on your nose” I grinned.

He laughed “A lot of people…erm…” He paused, looking for the right words “they tend to recognise me for someone who’s a celebrity.” He stopped and looked into my eyes, waiting for me to catch on.

I knew he seemed familiar! I wracked my brains while stubbing out my cigarette and thought I’d figured out who it was.

“Well” I started “I suppose you do have a look of Kenneth Branaugh in you…but you couldn’t be a proper lookey-likey”

Eddie looked at me incredulously and gave out a hearty laugh.

“What?! Is that not who it is?”

“Well” He said between laughing “Some people do say I bear a resemblance to him but…”

Right at that moment a couple wandered past us then glanced back, whispering to each other, then turned back to us. I thought that Eddie must have known them, but couldn’t believe it when they asked for an autograph. Eddie looked back at me and winked, laughing again.

“Could I use your bag to rest on Amy?”

I passed him the bag and he stood close to me as he signed a piece of scrap paper. I watched as his name oozed out of the pen and stared up at his face. How could I have not realised?! I’d only seen one of his videos a few weeks ago!

I stood, shocked as he chatted to the fans then they said their goodbyes and left us alone again.

Eddie smiled at me.

“You must think I’m a right fool” I said, blushing.

He nodded and laughed “Yep, but I’ve enjoyed your company, you cheered me up”

“No problem” I grinned “It’s a full time job being this silly”

“You’re telling me!”

We chatted like that for a little while longer, he talked about what work he was doing now and I mentioned I’d seen a video of his and seen him on telly a few times. I couldn’t quite believe that I was talking to him, I had been in awe of him since I first saw him. How he could stand up in front of so many people and not care what they thought of him. I could be painfully shy sometimes, but despite myself, I found it easy to open up to him, though I couldn’t see what he wanted to talk to me for.

After a while I realised that he must just be being polite and I was probably keeping him from something more important. I decided I should leave him in peace even though I wanted to stay longer. He probably tired of people pestering him.

“Listen, Eddie, I should really be getting back home” I said sadly, not wanting the encounter to end.

“Oh…right, yeah I’m probably keeping you up…your boyfriend is probably wondering where you are too” he couldn’t believe it, this couldn’t be where their meeting ended.

“Hmmph, not likely” I muttered. “Anyway, it’s been great meeting you”

“Yeah, you too” He looked up at me and seemed to want to say something else but stopped himself before he did.

We said our goodbyes and I left him there on the bridge. I turned back as I walked away to see him lighting another cigarette and if I hadn’t known better, I could have sworn I saw a look of disappointment cross his face as he waved goodbye to me…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Urggh! My tongue seemed to be covered with a layer of felt. I held my hand to my mouth and breathed out. Yuck! I must never smoke as much as I did last night again. I tentatively sniffed at my fingers…urgh! Scrap that last thought, never ever smoke again!

I decided I should probably start my morning after routine. I struggled to get up, kicked my clothes from last night out the way and made my way to the bathroom, not even attempting to see what I looked like in the mirror. I’m sure that a goblin sneaks into my room every night and messes up my hair. I stumbled into the kitchen, still half asleep, wondering whether I dreamt last night or had too much to drink. I’d probably been talking to the coat stand all night instead of Eddie Izzard!

I flipped the switch on my kettle and as I waited for it to boil I scrambled through the clutter of my bag for my mobile. It wasn’t there. Panicking, I emptied the contents of my bag onto the kitchen side, nope, all I had was a mess!

“Shit!” I said to the kettle, which clicked off in reply.

I’d only had it a few weeks too, must have left it in the bar or something. I’ll ring the company up when I start to feel less like Frankenstein, I thought.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He had fallen asleep thinking of her and when he awoke, he woke to her waiting for him in his mind. Last night he’d felt so depressed, that no show of a date being only one of the causes. But this morning had arrived and there wasn’t a dark cloud in sight. When he saw her on the bridge he knew it couldn’t just be coincidence. After he’d lost his nerve and she’d left, he found that he had been given another chance. He wasn’t going to let her slip away again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After a few hours of Trisha, a shower and six cups of tea, I’d begun to feel a bit more like my old self. I grabbed the phone book and just as I was about to pick up the phone, it rang.

“Damn, Vodafone are getting good! Employing psychics now” I laughed to myself.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, it’s Eddie” he paused, “from last night…”

Oh my god! I thought, then panicked, did I just say that out loud? No…couldn’t have…Shit! Say something!

“Oh hi Eddie!” My voice came out a bit high and I cringed at myself.

“Don’t worry, I’m not a stalker” He joked down the phone line. “You um, you left your mobile on the bridge”

“Oh thank god, I thought I’d lost it. I must have dropped it when I was looking for my lighter”

“Yeah, lucky I saw it really…erm listen, you probably want it back and I wouldn’t trust the postman if I were you, they’re far too shifty for my liking, get cat fur all over it too” he rambled. “Do you erm, do you want to meet up so I can get it back to you safely?” He asked hesitantly. Please say yes, he thought.

I caught my breath, did he just ask me to meet him? Don’t think anything into it, I told myself. He only wants to get my phone back to me and he knows I’m with Chris anyway.

“Yeah, sure, that’d be great. When’s best for you?”

She said yes! “Are you doing anything this afternoon?”

“I was just going to get some food stock in, fridge is looking a bit bare” I opened the fridge and frowned at its contents “but I can always do that another time” Did I just nearly pass on meeting him so I could get some microwave meals?

“No, that’s fine, which supermarket do you go to? I can meet you there”

“Oh we don’t have to meet there”

“It’s ok, we can do supermarket sweep!” I could imagine him grinning into the phone as he said it.

I told Eddie where my local was and we arranged to meet in about an hour’s time.

“I’ll be the bloke with the green stick of celery in my lapel” he joked

I hung up and collapsed onto my tatty settee just as Trisha blared out of the telly “We’re back after the break with ‘I think my partner is cheating on me’”

I groaned and buried my head under the cushion.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

God, he’d felt like a teenager, he’d not been able to wipe the smile from his face since they’d spoken. He tried to stop himself feeling this way, he knew he was setting himself up for a fall. He was stepping into dangerous territory but couldn’t stop himself, it felt like he was being driven by some kind of force.

When the time came to go and meet Amy, he’d drilled it into himself that the best he could hope for was to be friends. If he felt so strongly about her now, what would happen if they did start a relationship and he got hurt? It was too big a risk, he knew that it would break him.
Besides, she wasn’t going to leave her boyfriend and even if she did, she couldn’t see anything in him. She would have offered to meet again last night if she’d felt something.

Despite this, Eddie had to find out more about this feeling, this person and hope that they could be friends

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I stepped off the bus and walked up the road to the supermarket. I hoped I looked ok, I got ready in a bit of a hurry, pulling on one of my favourite pairs of jeans, a t-shirt and brown cord jacket in between Chris ringing me. He was at his flat, wanted me to bring a suitcase round later and help him pack for his trip.

The automatic doors opened for me and I stepped onto the travelator to get to the second floor. I spied Eddie loitering around the dvd and cd section. My heart skipped a beat as he waved when he spotted me and I grabbed a trolley on my way over to him.

“We meet again,” he said “getting to be a bit of a habit.”

“Seems to be, I always find it difficult breaking habits too” I grinned and Eddie chucked a dvd into the front of the trolley. I picked the dvd up and skim read the back cover.

Eddie found himself watching and wondering what it would be like to put his hand in the warm curve at the small of her back, lean over and kiss her. I felt his eyes on me and quickly turned to him.

Panicking that she had caught him looking, he quickly said “So…shall we shop? I’ve always wanted to do a supermarket sweep!”

“I don’t quite think the staff would appreciate us doing that, though I’m sure you could bribe Dale Winton to get you on the show!”

He laughed, nicked my trolley and skated on it towards the fruit and veg section.

“Hey! Thief! First you nick my mobile, now my trolley!”

“Don’t worry” he patted his pocket like in the Asda advert “they’ll rollback”

As we shopped we talked about all manners of things, the conversation flowing from how crap frozen pizza was to what we planned to do with the rest of our lives. I told him I had always wanted to travel and he said that I had plenty of time to do it, I was only twenty after all! Eddie said that he wanted to make it big in films, not so that he became more of a celebrity but so that he could try new roles that challenged him and stretched him as an actor. I mentioned that I’d seen him in The Cat’s Meow and how much of a good impression he’d given me. I knew he’d get what he wanted.

As we passed the make-up aisle, he picked up some eyeliner and mentioned that he was going through a bit of a blokey phase at the moment. I knew he was a transvestite, didn’t bother me, live and let live I thought. I asked him what women’s impressions of him were though and he said that the women he’d dated had all found it a turn on. Plus they got to borrow make-up!

“As we’re on the subject…how long have you been seeing that Chris bloke?” He fingered some choc muffins as he asked.

“Well, we’ve been going out together for about eight months now. We don’t live together or anything, he wants to but…I don’t know…” I trailed off and became engrossed in the amount of calories in the muffins.

“So it’s serious then?” he looked at her, not really wanting to know the answer.

“It can be…intense…I think that’s the right word”

Puzzled, he asked “How do you mean?”

“He can have some pretty rapid mood swings. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You can’t be interested!”

“Of course I am!” he protested “Isn’t that what friends are for?”

“Friends?”

Oh god, she didn’t want to know him he thought, then quickly joked “What, do you think I’d just take anyone to the supermarket?!” he grinned.

“I just couldn’t see why you’d want someone like me as a friend. I’ve got nothing to offer to a big celebrity like you!”

“Don’t be a daft git! Why else would I be here with you?”

“Ok, ok. I’m just having a ‘feeling worthless’ moment.”

He stopped pushing the trolley and wondered how she could think like that about herself. Eddie pushed the trolley away and stood closer to me, so close I could smell his cologne and see my reflection in his eyes. He came closer still and gave me a warm hug in the middle of the frozen food section. “Don’t think that, ever.” He didn’t want to let her go.

I breathed him in and wondered if I had any effect on him like this. I dropped back into reality with a thud as he let me go. “Now, carry on with what you were saying.”

I stood motionless, slightly dazed and finally sighed “Well, he can be really horrible some days, get depressed, take it out on others, especially when he’s had a drink. He’s gotten pretty nasty with me before and I was about to leave him but he suddenly changed, said he’d try to control it. He’s doing his best, but he’ll still have off days.”

“You know, it’s great that you’re sticking with him, but to me, if you don’t mind me saying, it doesn’t sound like you’re getting much out of the relationship” he spoke softly. First impressions must be right, he thought, remembering how unhappy she’d looked when he first saw her.

“At the beginning it was brilliant. I’d been hurt a lot in the past and he was the first man I trusted after that. I guess I’m waiting for what it was like at the beginning to come back” I sighed again.

“I hope it does, you deserve the best” he smiled down at me. “The other night, you really cheered me up you know.” He confided in her “I was getting really depressed – I’d lost out on this part I really wanted, my girlfriend had broken up with me a few weeks earlier and the woman who stood me up was the first date I’d been on since.”

“I’m sorry Eddie, sounds like you’ve been having a rough time too. We’re both going through the wars!”

He smiled weakly. “Yeah, she hurt me badly. I was just starting to get over her when my mate suggested this date with his friend. I guess my confidence has had a few blows the past few weeks.”

“It’ll work out Eddie, for both of us, I’m sure you’ll learn to trust again” I reassured him.

He looked up at me sadly “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

I smiled slowly at him and there was a pause as we searched for something to say.

“God, listen to us two! This might be one of the most depressing shopping trips ever!” I joked

Our talk became less serious as we went through the tills. We both laughed at the now publicly shared joke when the scanner wouldn’t beep some food and suddenly we were walking towards Eddie’s car, a trendy little red mini. He offered me a lift home so we loaded the food into the boot. As he drove I turned the radio up on the songs I liked and he playfully switched the station over.

“Hey! I like that song!” I protested, mock sulking.

“You can’t like that! It’s worse than burnt toast!”

I stared at him “You have some very strange analogies…”

He looked back at me as we pulled up at a red light and we both burst out laughing.

I guided Eddie to my flat and he helped me carry the stuff upstairs.

Just before I unlocked the door, I turned to him. “I apologise in advance for any sights and smells that you are about to bear witness to” I grimaced, wishing I’d tidied up when I finished work yesterday.

“Guess I’ll just have to grin and bear it” he grinned.

The door swung open and I led the way into my flat.

“I’ll put the shopping away, you go and sit down” I told him and gestured to the settee. Eddie obliged, taking a look around my things as he did.

It was an open kitchen so we could talk while I unpacked the bags and I watched him as he looked at the photos I had scattered around. I thought of how much more lavish his place must be.

Eddie picked up my sketchbook and flicked through my drawings “These are good, did you do them all?”

“Thank you, yeah. I’ve been doing it since as long as I can re…” the phone ringing interrupted me.

“Hello?” I answered “oh…hi Chris, yeah I’ve just got back…went shopping with a friend is all” I smiled at Eddie “What? No! Oh, yeah, yeah sure. I know you’re going soon, I’ll be over in a bit yeah” I stuck my tongue out at the receiver and Eddie pulled a face at me, making me laugh “yeah…it was Eddie, from the bar last night…don’t start Chris! Look, I’ll tell you when I get to yours ok? Right, see you later, bye” I groaned, exasperated.

“Yeah, he sounds a bit difficult” Eddie said, emphasising on ‘bit’.

“Tell me about it!” I grimaced “I’m sorry but I should really get over there or he’ll be in a right mood. I hope this break does him some good”

“Don’t worry about it” Eddie stood up. “We’ll have to meet up again sometime though” He pulled my mobile from his pocket and we exchanged numbers.

“My mates havin a barbecue tomorrow night actually. Do you want to join me? She asked me to bring someone if I could” He looked at me hopefully.

“Yeah, that sounds like a laugh” I agreed.

“Ok, I can pick you up from here at about 5 ish then?”

“Yeah, sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow then”

“Yeah” he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, he was unnerved as to how much he wanted to see her again. Put your hand in the warm curve of her back, lean over and…. He shook himself. “I erm….yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow”

Eddie left and I stared at the door after him, slightly gobsmacked at the events that had happened the last couple of days.

I shook myself and prepared to meet Chris.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As he left her flat, Eddie sighed. He’d been so nervous and now his nerves felt wracked. His thoughts ran over what had happened and he relived their hug. She had no idea how much of an effect she had on him, how she could feel so worthless he couldn’t understand. He’d wanted to make her feel better and never wanted to release her from their embrace.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I’d got over to Chris’s not long after Eddie left, but he was still in a foul mood when I arrived. He was worried because he hadn’t packed, was leaving tomorrow morning and he had a hangover.

I tried to ignore his bad mood and helped him pack but to him, it seemed I was just getting in the way. We began arguing over petty little things like how his shirts should be folded and I told him if he hadn’t drunk so much last night he wouldn’t be in this state. That only angered him more.

He shouted about how it was none of my business and grabbed me by the arm, yanking me close to his face. “Don’t you ever tell me how much I can drink” he growled, then let me go.

I spun away from him, holding my aching arm and left him in the flat. I hated him just then.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was almost ready. I’d just finished my make up and was just straightening my hair thinking about what Chris had promised earlier. He’d rang just before his flight left, apologising and saying he’d make it up to me when he returned. He sounded so sincere and upset that I believed him, I couldn’t find it in my heart to refuse him. He had sounded just like the old Chris.

I’d just finished getting ready when there was a knock at the door.

“Just a sec’!” I shouted, grabbing my bag. I opened the door onto Eddie leaning against the doorframe.

“You really need to get your landlord to install an elevator” he panted.

“Nope, I think you’re just not fit enough. You should do more running for busses rather than driving everywhere!” I teased.

“Well, I’ve never been more knackered and insulted in my entire life! Think I might withdraw my barbecue offer…” he sulked.

“Ok, ok, how about a compromise…I drive your car and you have to chase me to get in?!”

He laughed “No, I’ll drive and consider giving you a lift!”

“I give in, it’s a deal!”

Eddie smiled as he spoke “Are you ready then or are we going to talk about transport all day?”

“Ready!” I locked the door and we made our way to Eddie’s friends’ place.

When we arrived we were greeted by a table full of drink, surrounded by many grinning faces.
Eddie introduced me to everyone that he knew, though there were a few he didn’t know. Occasionally a friend would call Eddie over but he was never gone for long, which I was glad of, I hated being left on my own in new places. But I got chatting to a few of his friends who were all a good laugh.

The drink was flowing, food was burning, Eddie had returned and left briefly again. I was talking to Lauren, who’s party it was, about how trendy her house was. I noticed that she kept glancing behind me, then she suddenly changed the subject.

“So, how long have you been seeing each other?” she asked.

“What?” I said, confused.

“Well, it’s so obvious, he’s not been able to drag his eyes away from you for more than a few seconds, see for yourself…” she nodded to behind me where I saw Eddie standing.

I caught him just before he quickly looked away from me.

“No, no, no we’re not seeing each other at all. He’s just checking up on me is all” I told her, trying to persuade myself of the fact too.

“Oh, ok…” she didn’t sound too convinced that that was all there was.

“Believe me” I confided in her “I wish that we were, but I suppose – who wouldn’t?”

We carried on chatting until I realised that I’d left my mobile in my bag. I made my excuses and went through to the hall to get it. I was just checking for messages when I heard someone behind me.

“I thought I was never going to get away from that bloke!” Eddie exclaimed. ”You’re not leaving are you?” He asked as he saw me holding me bag in my hands.

“No, of course not”

“Good, thought you’d got bored. Do you want to be? I know a really dull bloke back there” He pointed behind him, grinning.

I laughed “No, ta!”

He stepped back and looked me up and down “Are you cold?”

“No, why? …. Oh…” I realised I was still wearing my jacket.

“Sure you’re not going?” He grinned again and moved behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders to help take it off.

I felt his touch on the back of my neck and could sense him so close behind me. I lost myself in the feel of his hands running down my arms as he separated the jacket from me. Suddenly I flinched, an act I couldn’t control.

Eddie jumped back and it was only then that I remembered why I hadn’t taken off the jacket in the first place. Eddie’s gentle touch had met the bruise that Chris had given me from grabbing me the night before.

I quickly yanked the jacket back on, hoping that Eddie hadn’t seen my black and blue bruise. But I could tell he had when I saw the shock plastered on his face.

“Who did that to you?” he asked quietly.

“Oh it’s nothing. I was tidying up and the hoover fell on me.” I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I lied to him.

“Did he do it?” he swallowed, never taking his eyes away from me, trying to catch my gaze.

“The bloke who made Dysons yeah. I should sue really, get some compensation” I joked weakly.

Eddie stared at me. “That’s not funny, answer me” he demanded.

“Come on Eddie, don’t get so serious” I saw a flicker of anger cross his face as I said it.

“You don’t think that this is serious?!” he shouted. “What about when he breaks your arm? Is that still a laughing matter?!”

“Eddie, it’s not like that, this is as bad as it’s ever been” I tried to calm him.

“What and bruising you isn’t bad enough?! How can you let him do that to you, the fucking bastard!” He felt so angry, how could anyone ever hurt her like that?

“Eddie, please!” I pleaded, tears beginning to well. I couldn’t stand to see him so angry. I looked down to the floor and saw his clenched fists begin to unfurl.

Ashamed, I closed my eyes and pushed my fingers into my closed lids, trying to stop the tears from falling.

I stood like that for what seemed like a decade. With my eyes shut I could attempt to escape from the situation. Eddie must have left I thought, I couldn’t blame him, he was probably embarrassed by me.

But then I felt his warmth envelope me as his arms pulled me close to him. I let my head rest on his shoulder as his fingers ran through my hair.

He let a sigh rush out and then breathed in the scent of her hair, letting it calm him.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted”

I tried to speak but my voice caught as a sob rushed out.

His arms pulled me closer still “shhh” he softly said and carried on stroking my hair as I weeped onto his shoulder.

“Come on, sit down” He pulled away and led me to the stairs. He sat me down and left me there, suddenly on my own again. I craved to have his touch back.

As soon as the thought had entered my mind, there he was again, clutching a wad of toilet roll. He sat down next to me, put his arm around my back and gave me the tissue.

“Thank you” I sniffed.

Eddie brushed the hair out of my face and smiled at me. Just watching his lips curve into that smile made me feel brighter.

“I didn’t mean to shout at you” he explained. “I was mad that he could do that to you…it doesn’t happen often then?”

I wiped my eyes and stared at the patch of tears I’d made on his shoulder. I couldn’t look him in the eyes as I thought of how I’d let it happen.

“It’s happened a few times now. The first time I threatened to leave and he promised he’d make himself better, he did too. But lately he’s had a tough time. He’s not usually physical, but he seems to do more damage in other ways…” I could feel his eyes watching me as I spoke. “I’ve usually done something to annoy him anyway and that’s what causes it.”

“Don’t defend him” Eddie interrupted. “That’s how he’s doing it isn’t it? He’s drummed it into you that it’s your fault. What makes you put up with it?”

“Honestly?”

“Tell me the truth”

I took a breath and began. “I’m more scared to leave him than I am to stay. I’m scared that when I do leave, everything that he’s said will be true. No one will care about me and I’ll be worthless. I was convinced of that more or less all the way through my time at school. When Chris came along, he made me feel better about myself for a while, then the drink got to him and he became just like all the others”

I wiped a tear away and heard him sigh. He reached for my hand with his, stroking it softly. With his other he gently lifted my chin, forcing me to finally look into his eyes.

“It is not your fault.” He spoke firmly. Looking into his eyes, I wanted to believe him.

“I don’t know how anyone could be as cruel as they have been to you. You have to believe me when I tell you though, they were all wrong. Since I’ve met you, I’ve been happier than I have been in a long time. Someone like that doesn’t come along very often. You’re worth more than anyone could hope to be.”

Looking at Eddie then, hearing the sincerity of his words and seeing the strength in him – I believed him. I couldn’t think of anymore excuses for Chris.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next few weeks seemed to pass in a haze. When Chris returned, I told him that I thought we should part ways for a while. At first he was angry, then he broke down, begging me to stay. I almost did too. But Eddie’s words came back to me and I finally stood up for myself. Everyday since then I’ve felt myself growing stronger for it.

I had been spending more and more time with Eddie. He would pick me up from my office and we’d go out with friends, drinking or just hang out at each other’s homes. I’d not been to Eddie’s all that much though. He had just released a dvd so the press were snooping around him more than usual. He’d been getting a bad time with it too so I would try to keep his sprits up when things got to him. I felt that I owed so much to him since he had made my life so much brighter.

The feeling that I’d had for him when we first met had only grown greater too. I knew that every moment I spent with him I would fall for him even more, there was nothing I could do about it. Every time I saw him, I willed myself to tell him the truth but knew he couldn’t feel anything in return for me. Though I had had a confidence surge, if I told him and was rejected then I would be crushed. I couldn’t take the risk.

I forced myself to ignore my feelings, we had become strong friends and I could live with just being that. I wouldn’t do anything to damage our friendship.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Wine!”

“Wine!!”

“Lot’s of wine!!”

“Alright, alright, I’m getting it…I might need a hand getting up though” I giggled.

I was having a girls night in with three of my mates, they could be a bit demanding when they’d had a sip of my home made wine. It ended up being pretty strong after all the vodka I pour in!

“Wine!” I exclaimed, plonking the bottle loudly onto the table.

“D’joo ‘emember when we were in school n used to get pissed on field?” Sally struggled to say.

“Yeah! N Jamie Wilcox got so pissed that he fell in river!” Jan fell into a fit of laughter.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but d’joo ‘emember playin all those games! Darin’ each other to do daft stuff…n truth! D’joo ‘emember truth!?”

“Oh, god! We’re not playin truth!” I shouted.

“Come on, come on, let’s play!” Trish demanded.

“You jus’ don’t wanna play coz you had to admit you fancied the exchange student” Sally reminded me.

Trish and Jan fell about laughing as they remembered.

“Ackually, I thought he was quite nice too,” Sally admitted.

“You did?!” I looked at her unbelievingly. “You cow! You took piss out of me for ages about that!” I sulked, then burst out laughing with the others.

Against my will, we’d started playing the game, but I hadn’t had it too bad. So far I’d had to admit that I’d once nicked my cousins bracelet and that I think Dudley Moore was quite sexy in his day.

“Right, Amys turn again!”

I groaned and poured another glass of wine while the three of them whispered to each other over my question.

“Hurry up then, let’s get it over with”

They looked at each other, grinning, then Jan piped up.

“We want to know…your friend Eddie”

I groaned again.

“D’joo fancy ‘im?”

Oh, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, I thought.

“He’s my best mate, I don’t look at him like that…”

“This is Truth Amy!” Trish reminded me.

“We’re good friends, honestly!”

“Tell us!” Jan demanded.

“Well, he’s an attractive bloke” I covered.

“Who you fancy the pants off?” Jan said.

I chucked a cushion at her.

“Ok, let’s leave it at that” Sally said then stopped herself. “You’d shag him though, right?” She grinned.

Everyone turned to look at me, waiting for my answer. I tried to think quickly but the vodka had gotten the best part of my thinking skills. Suddenly, a piercing noise drilled into my brain.

“Saved by the bell!” I shouted and grabbed the phone.

They all groaned as I answered it. “Hello?”

“Ammmmmmmyyyyyy” A merry voice hollered down the phone line.

“Hi Eddie!” I smiled, then realised what I’d said when a barrage of cushions hit me and the girls erupted into a fit of laughter.

“Wha’s that?” He asked.

“Oh, just a few idiots that are here” I replied.

“It’s goo’ to know you’re in good company” he said, laughing “d’joo want some more idiots to talk to though?”

“Of course I do! You’re my favourite of them all!”

“D’joo fancy comin round to my mates? There’s bout four of us here in we need some good company! How many of you is there?” He rambled.

I looked down at my hand and got double vision “At the moment, two” I laughed to myself.

“Wha’ you on ‘bout?! Ahhhh you’ve got your special wine! Bring it over here with you!”

“Will do! There’s four of us too”

“Perfect! I’ll get a taxi to fetch you round in bout half hour, k?”

“K, I’ll se you in a bit”

I put the phone down and turned to see Sally, Trish and Jan splayed out all over my living room floor.

“We’re going to meet some boys!!” I shouted, grinning.

“Yayyyyyy!!!” They all shouted together, raising their glasses in a toast.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

DRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

“Shit these are hot!” Jan swore.

“Not be long” I replied, pressing the bell again.

DRRRRRR!!

Just as I let my finger off the buzzer, the door opened.

“Hi Rich!”

“Hi ya, y’alright” Rich said, it was his house, we’d met a few times before when I was with Eddie.

“Allo!” Eddie’s head popped round the door.

I grinned at him, gesturing to the pizzas we were all holding. “Hi! We saw a herd of rare pizzas rolling down the street, so thought we’d better capture them for further investigation.”

Eddie and Rich’s eyes turned into giant saucers as they saw the pizzas. “Well, it’s a good job you did, this is a very serious matter. We’d better take a closer look at these inside, I’ve the feeling they’re about to become extinct.” Eddie laughed, offloading some of the boxes from us.

Rich opened the door wider. “Come on in then, you’ve passed my house guest test.” He grinned.

We walked into the living room where I introduced my friends and Eddie introduced his other mates, Jack and Matt, who seemed more interested in the sight of food than us!
We’d all sat down talking and gradually munching our way through the food supplies. Eddie and myself had sat next to each other, Jack, Matt, Jan and Trish were all sat together chatting and Sally was sat with Rich. They had seemed to hit it off, I’d noticed Sally making a beeline for the seat next to him!

We had been playing drinking games for a while when Jan started to embarrass me by telling the boys about our game of truth earlier. Thankfully, she’d not mentioned the
Eddie part. I blushed, sticking my head in my hands. Eddie laughed at me and pushed me off the settee.

“Hey!” I shouted, thumping him on the leg.

He pretended to be hurt, rubbing his leg while Jan embarrassed me further.

“Le’s have a game of it now,” Jack said.

“No, no, summat different” Trish said “I’m bored of truth.”

We thought of a few games and eventually started playing one that Matt suggested. One person would be blindfolded and had to identify the other players who were stood in line waiting their turn. The blindfolded person had to identify each player by them performing an action, which was determined by the Instructor.

Rich had been blindfolded first and had been doing quite well until he couldn’t figure out who had just farted and gave up.

It was my turn next. Sally was the instructor and had placed the blindfold or rolled up tea towel around my eyes. The first person was easy, Sally had instructed them to hum. When I heard the humming I could tell straight away that it was Jacks gruff voice.

Next was a little more difficult, Sally had said stroke and I’d felt someone stroke my arm but didn’t have a clue. I guessed Trish and was right!

“Ok, next player, step into place” Sally instructed. I heard someone step in front of me.

“Your action is…kiss” I could imagine her grinning as she said it. I heard the person in front of me breathe in sharply then exhale. I thought that they were hesitating when nothing happened for a few seconds but then they stepped closer.

Oh God, I thought…its Eddie. I’d been sat next to him all night, I could recognise that aftershave anywhere. I was just thinking of what to do when I felt him draw closer to me. I smelled his aftershave again and felt his breath on my face as he neared. My pulse quickened, all I could hear was my heartbeat and all I could think was of what was about to happen. Slowly I felt him come closer still and then softly, his lips met mine. I felt myself trembling as he kissed me so tenderly. Then all too quickly, he pulled away.

“Eddie” I sighed, pulling the blindfold down to see him. He was still painfully close to me, I felt urged to wrap my arms around him for more. But all I could do was watch his sweet face as a smile that had been lingering on his lips turned down into a frown and he stepped away.

I saddened as the feeling I’d had when we kissed evaporated and realised that I’d never feel anything like that again.

We stopped playing games after that and returned to heavy drinking for the rest of the night. We all sat down again but Eddie chose to sit away from me this time though, which I was partially glad of. I couldn’t bear for him to be close again. Eddie didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but feared that maybe I wouldn’t really want to know.

Eventually we decided to call it a night and each of us started to leave. When my taxi arrived, Eddie had fallen asleep on the settee, beer bottle still in his hand. I didn’t want to stir him, so softly kissed him on the head goodnight and left him there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Eddie woke the next morning he had to fight through the fogginess of his hangover to remember everything that had happened the night before. His back ached from sleeping on the settee but the pain shook some of the fog from his mind and he remembered their kiss.

He had almost backed away from it, he had hesitated for so long. But then he had thought that this was going to be his only chance. Now he regretted not going with his gut instinct. He wanted her even more now than he did before.

Without her knowing it, he had been sneaking glances at her all night while they sat after the game. He tried to gage what she was thinking but could only imagine his fantasy of being with her. He hadn’t dared to speak to her for the rest of the night either, as all he wanted to say was how much he cared for her.

When Amy had left he had pretended to be asleep. When she kissed him so softly, like a baby, he wanted to shout her name out and tell her the truth. But what if she rejected him? No, he kept his eyes closed, he couldn’t bear to say goodbye to her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Another day, another dollar I thought as I pulled my jacket on leaving work. I walked to the bus stop and wondered what Eddie was doing. We’d not spoken for a couple of days, since that night, which was unusual. If we weren’t seeing each other then we’d at least speak on the phone. I knew that things had changed. I should have stepped away from him, refused the stupid game! This is exactly what I thought would happen if I got too close. I brushed the thoughts from my mind as I stepped onto the bus.

I was still thinking of Eddie as I walked up the stairs to my flat. I’d just decided to call him when I turned the corner and saw someone sat, hunched up and leaning against my door. I approached the person cautiously then I recognised him.

“Chris?”

He looked up at me sorrowfully. “My God! Come inside!” He’d been in a fight, his left eye was swollen shut and his lip was bleeding. I helped him up and into my flat.

“I’m sorry Ame, I wa’s a bastard n’ I know it.” His speech was slurred, he was still drunk.

“Be quiet Chris and sit down” I rushed to get some water and antiseptic. I cleaned him up while he lay down, telling me he was sorry, how much he’d missed me and wanted me back.

He’d been rambling on about how much he had changed for about half an hour when I couldn’t stand to listen to him anymore. He hadn’t changed at all, he was the same drunk Chris, trying to take me for a fool.

I tried to tell him that I didn’t want to get back together. But he didn’t want to hear it, when I told him again he started to get angry. His face turned red and I couldn’t tell if it was from the swelling or from being mad.

“You can’t not want to get back together! You’ve always needed me!” He shouted.

“I did need you, but not anymore. I’ve moved on, I’m sorry.” I tried to calm him, he was scaring me but I wasn’t about to give in to him.

“You’re seeing someone aren’t you? You fuckin’ tart!!” He fixed me with a harsh stare “It’s that fuckin’ nancy boy innit! That twat from the bar!!”

He hit a nerve. “Don’t you ever speak about him like that! He’s more of a man than you could ever hope to be!” I yelled at him.

He clenched his fists. “So it’s true then, you’re shaggin him, you bitch!!” He spat the words into my face and turned to leave.

“I wish I was seeing him, he treats me better than you ever have.” I said to his back.

Chris turned and fixed me with a deadly stare, but I wasn’t about to back down. He stalked towards me and before I knew what was happening he’d struck me across my cheek. Searing pain coursed through my face. I dropped to the floor, my head was reeling.

“And there’s plenty more where that came from.” He growled and turned around again.
He’s finally going to leave, I thought. But he stopped in the middle of the room. I could see him clenching and unclenching his fists, the vein in his neck protruding. Suddenly he started wreaking havoc to my home, pulling posters and pictures from the walls, overturning the tables.

I stood slowly to stop him but he spun around as he heard me near, punching me in the stomach. I flew backwards and tripped over the table he’d overturned. I fell awkwardly and pain shot through my right ankle as I landed. I gasped, grabbing my ankle, the pain coursed through my leg. Chris had turned away from me again, forgetting me for the moment. Through all the chaos that was happening around me, I knew I had to get away before he noticed me again. I bit my lip as I gingerly put my foot to the floor, I winced at the pain and started to crawl towards the bathroom. Chris didn’t notice me leave, he was too busy with his furniture rearranging.

I pulled myself into the bathroom and quickly locked the door behind me. I sighed with relief as I heard the lock snap into place. My relief didn’t last long though as I heard him crashing around next door, suddenly there was a bang against the bathroom door. I heard it creaking and started to panic.

I scanned the room for an escape but there was only one. The tiny window above me. I’d have no chance standing up, never mind pulling myself through the tiny window. Plus there was a three-storey drop that I’d never survive anyway.

I started to sob, it was useless. He was going to get in here and god only knows what would happen then! Suddenly, I realised I still had my bag with me. Throughout the chaos outside, I hadn’t let go of it. I quickly scrambled through it. Thinking of only one person as I found my mobile and began to dial.

“Please pick up, please please be there” I cried softly as the phone rang Eddie.

“Hi it’s Eddie…” I interrupted “Eddie, quick, you’ve got to…” His voice was still speaking, confused, I listened and realised it was his answer phone. “…and I’ll get back to you”.

There was a beep on the other end of the line and I shakily started to tell him to call me as soon as he got the message.

The phone line clicked “Amy?”

“Eddie!” I cried.

“Are you alright? You sound shook up.” He worried.

“Please get over to mine now, it’s Chris, he’s here, I don’t know what he’s going to do, please Eddie” My words tripped over themselves trying to get out.

“Where are you?” he cut in.

“My bathroom” I cried.

“Ok, lock the door and barricade it with whatever you can find. I’m calling the police and I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“Please hurry”

“I’m on my way.” He assured me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This is it, he thought as he stepped out of the bath, grabbing a towel. The past couple of days had been spent thinking of every possible outcome and he’d decided that he couldn’t live with only showing a part of himself to her. He would be living a lie if he carried on at this rate. He had never felt this way about anyone before and was willing to risk having his heart broken for her.

He was going over to her flat to surprise her. He’d been thinking of what and how he was going to tell her everything he felt. A knot of tension had been growing in his stomach and he’d decided to relax in the bath before seeing her.

As he dried himself, the phone began to ring and he started to go to answer it, then stopped himself. “Leave it, I’ve got to keep my mind on this” he told himself and started to smooth some shaving cream onto his face. He absentmindedly listened as the answer machine clicked in.

“Eddie, you have to call…”

“Ha” coincidence or what, he laughed as he half ran to the phone.

Smiling to hear her voice, he answered “Amy?”

Quickly his smile faded as he listened and his face became serious with worry. After their brief conversation he dialled 999, asking for some police officers to get round there as soon as they could. The police would take ages turning up though. He ran to the wardrobe and pulled some clothes on, wiping the shaving cream off with his towel as he did so.

As he drove to Amy’s it seemed like every single light saw him coming and turned to red. The rain beat down on the windscreen and he began imagining nightmarish scenarios. Feeling sick with worry, he started driving through the lights, windscreen wipers screaming against the glass.

When Eddie arrived, he practically jumped out of the car before it had stopped and headed upstairs. Please be ok, he prayed to himself as he opened the front door.

Shock glued itself to his face when he saw what Chris had done to the place. It looked like a hurricane had hit it. He scanned the room but didn’t see anyone in all the mess.

A bang came from the bedroom and Eddie shot into the room, expecting to find Amy there. The worry and fear that had been engulfing him quickly changed to rage when he saw Chris sat next to the bed, drinking a bottle of whisky.

“You bastard” Eddie whispered “What have you done to her?”

Chris struggled to stand and brought himself to Eddie’s height. Wobbling and staring out of his one good eye, he spoke. “I fuckin’ gave ‘er what she deserved, ya prick.” He slowly raised his arm to swing but Eddie caught it and punched him squarely in the jaw, making him collapse in the corner of the room. Eddie left him there and went to find Amy.

He rushed to the bathroom but when he tried opening the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“Amy? Are you in there?” He waited a few seconds and tried again but still there was no answer. His stomach sank as he thought of what could have happened and he stepped back to barge through the door.

“Eddie?” Her voice called cautiously through the door.

Relief swept through his body “Amy! Are you ok?”

“I can’t get to the door Eddie, my leg…I can’t move it” I was so glad to hear his voice.

“If you can, move away from the door. I’m coming in” he warned. He stepped back and threw his body against the door but it just creaked in protest. He tried again and it burst open.

She was curled up next to the bath and he rushed to her side. His strong arms enveloped her, he was never going to let anyone harm her again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The police had arrived about two hours after Eddie had got to me. I was so thankful that he’d arrived so quickly. He’d not left my side since he found me, staying with me whilst the police were here and the paramedic saw to me. He said I was in shock, had badly sprained my ankle and I just had cuts and bruises everywhere else.

Chris was sat in the police car downstairs, Eddie had knocked him clean out and the police were about to take him to the station. They had tried questioning me about what had happened but I couldn’t put any order to my thoughts. I felt numb from the experience. When they persisted, Eddie flared, telling them I was in no state to relive it so soon after it had happened. The police gave up and said I’d have to go down to the station in the next few days to give them a statement.

When the police asked if I had somewhere else to stay while I got my place sorted, Eddie took my hand “Yeah, she’s coming home with me.” I squeezed his hand in thanks.

The police left and Eddie turned to me “Come on, lets go home.” He stood and offered his hand. I reached for it quickly, instinctively, as if grabbing for a falling object.

I put my foot to the floor and winced.

“Hmmm” Eddie scrutinised me. “Only one thing we can do about that.” He gently lifted me off my feet and awkwardly carried me downstairs, sitting me carefully in his car. He ran round to the drivers’ side and got in.

“You ok there? Comfy?”

I nodded “Yeah, thank you.”

“No problem, you don’t weigh that much” he smiled, trying to make me laugh.

“Eddie, I mean it. I was so scared. Thank you for coming”

He stroked my hair away from my eyes and touched my face lightly, I felt warmth spread through my body as he did. “I would do anything for you.” He sighed and looked away, starting the car up.

Eddie drove us back to his place and I thought of what he’d just said. What did he mean? I was thinking way too much into it, I realised. I probably had concussion or something!

When we got to Eddies’ he helped me into the house and we sat in his living room for a while. Eddie tried asking me about what had happened but I didn’t want to think about it, never mind speak about it yet.

He talked to fill the silence and as I listened, his voice began to soothe me and I relaxed. My nerves felt wracked, I laid my head back against the settee and closed my eyes as I listened to him.

“I knew I’d be ok if I called you” I let the words out without even thinking.

Eddie stopped rambling “I’m glad you did. You know, I meant what I said in the car.”
I smiled at him and he came closer to give me a hug. I hugged him back and let the nights events pour out of me. Eddie listened quietly, letting me speak until I’d finished then he hugged me again. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again.“

We sat talking for a bit longer and eventually I could feel my eyelids growing heavy. Eddie nudged me. “Come on, time for bed.”

“K” I said sleepily. Eddie stood and carried me upstairs.

“I’ve got the spare bed made up for you” he said as he headed towards the spare room. I’d not thought of where I’d be sleeping but the prospect of spending the night alone didn’t appeal.

“Would it be ok if I stayed with you? I don’t want to be on my own just yet.”

Eddie looked down at me “Sure you can, as long as you don’t snore!” he joked, doubling back to his room. He sat me on the bed and pulled a pair of ‘jama’s from a drawer. He turned to leave and let me get changed when I realised I was going to have some trouble on my own.

“Erm…Eddie?”

“Yeah?” he walked back to me.

“I erm, I think I need some help…” I felt myself blushing. I’d imagined him undressing me before but not in this kind of situation.

“Oh, of course” he seemed a bit shy at the idea too.

“Can you just help me with my jeans?” I asked, unzipping them.

“Yeah, yeah” He lifted me up and I pulled them down to my thighs then sat down again.

I could feel my face going red again as his hands slid down my legs, pulling the jeans from me, being careful not to move my leg too much. He whistled as he saw my swollen ankle. “That’s twice the size of the other!”

“It looks better than it feels” I grimaced as he helped me into a pair of the ‘jama bottoms. “Thanks, I’m alright for the top half” I smiled.

“OK, I’m going for some water, you want some?”

“Yeah, please.”

Eddie went to the kitchen and as he came back, noticed that the bedroom door was slightly ajar. Amy was sat with her back to the door on the edge of the bed. He tried to avert his eyes but they tore back to her. Mesmerised, he watched as she pulled off her top, fabric brushing against her soft skin. His eyes followed the curve of her hip, up her slender back as she slipped into his ‘jama shirt. He shook himself and brought the water into the room.

I heard him open the door and turned as he came back into the bedroom. “Thanks.” I took the glass.

Eddie coughed. “I erm, I’m just gonna get changed.” He hurriedly grabbed his ‘jama bottoms and a vest top from under his pillow and went to the bathroom.

I slipped under the duvet and as I yawned, noticed that the mirror on Eddies’ wardrobe door faced into the bathroom doorway. Eddie came into view and I quickly moved my eyes away. I glanced back to see him stood at the sink, wearing just his boxers as he washed his face. Trickles of water ran down his broad shoulders and onto his chest. He moved out of sight for a moment and then came back into view as he finished getting changed, his strong arms pulling on the white vest.

I closed my eyes and just before sleep took me over, I felt him slip into bed next to me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A noise pulled him from his slumber. He lay still half-asleep, then feeling her warmth remembered that Amy was next to him. He felt content at having her so close. Suddenly, she cried out, she was having a nightmare. Eddie propped himself up on his elbow and gently stroked her arm, trying to calm her. Her back was facing him and he could see that her body was tense, he watched as her hair fell across her neck. She became quiet again, out of the nightmare and her body relaxed but he carried on running his fingertips up and down her arm. He held her, nuzzling into her long dark hair and taking in long, deep breaths. I could do this for the rest of my life, he thought. He wanted to be the one who protected her, told her everything was going to be alright, who soothed her. He wanted to be the one who she kissed goodnight.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The suns rays streaming through the window woke me. I lay for a few moments trying to figure out where I was, this isn’t my bed, I thought. I groaned as I remembered what had happened.

“Good morning to you too!” Eddie walked through the door carrying two cups of tea.

“Sorry. Mornin” I yawned.

“Not had enough kip?!” Eddie joked, then frowned “You weren’t groaning about me were you?”

“Oh no, of course not” I quickly replied. “I just…remembered, that’s all.”

“Ah, I see.” He passed me my tea and some painkillers.

As he passed them to me, I realised I must have looked a right state “Oh god! Eddie, don’t look at me! I always look shocking in the morning.” I attempted to pull the duvet round my head.

Eddie laughed at me “Don’t worry, I usually do too. I jumped in the shower before you woke,” he admitted. “I rang your work up too, they said to take off as much time as you needed.”

“Cheers for that. That’s good of them”

We drank our tea and I sat up to go to the bathroom.

“Swellings going down.” Eddie noticed as I pushed my foot from out under the duvet.

“Yeah, paracetomol seems to be working too” I tried putting some weight on my foot but as I did, pain flowed through the muscles of my leg.

I cried out in pain and lifted my foot again. “Erm, I may need a walking stick.” I half joked, then groaned “I’m not going to be able to have a shower!”

“Hmmm…” A smile played across Eddie’s face. “Yeah, you can.”

“What are you thinking?” I asked him suspiciously.

“Here, you get into my robe and I’ll sort you out.” He helped me into the bathroom and left me whilst I got into his bathrobe. I was balancing on one leg, leaning against the sink when I heard him banging as he came back upstairs.

When he opened the door, I burst out laughing.

“It’s better than being in pain!” Eddie grinned and placed the patio chair into the shower cubicle.

“I’m gonna look like I’m in a granny advert!”

“Shut up and get showered, you stink!” he laughed, helping me into the cubicle.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later that day we’d been to my flat to see what damage had been done. It was worse than I remembered. My stuff had been thrown all over, photo-frames had been smashed, my telly had been kicked in and to top it off, somehow Chris had broken the pipe under the sink when he’d been chucking stuff around. Water was all over and had ruined my carpet. The person who lived below me was on holiday so they hadn’t been able to get in touch and tell me. It had been pouring out of the pipe all night and for the best part of today.

Eddie cut the water off for me while I called the landlord.

“I can’t believe it!” I slumped on the dry half of my settee. “Everything is ruined. This is going to cost so much to get it all back to normal.”

“Hah! Don’t think that you’re paying for it! Chris is gonna cough up the money.”

“He’s already in debt up to his ear holes anyway!”

“I’ll help you out if it’s going to cost you loads then.” Eddie offered.

“Oh, thanks Eddie, but I couldn’t accept money from you. I’ll get it sorted.”

“Well, you’re gonna need somewhere to stay while this place dries out.” Eddie lifted a bit of soggy carpet with his foot, eyeing the soaked floorboards underneath. “Get some of your stuff together and you can stay at mine until you’re sorted out.”

“No, I’ll stay at Sally’s or something.” I protested.

“You’ll stay at mine is what you’ll do. Come on, don’t you wanna?” he asked playfully.

“Well…only if I can get partial control of the remote!”

Eddie laughed “It’s a deal!”

The landlord said he’d look after the place while I was away, so I packed some of my clothes and personal things that I didn’t want to leave in the flat and went back to Eddie’s.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I’d just finished wrapping the present when I heard Eddie come back. He’d gone to a meeting about a film that he might be getting the lead role in. I quickly hid the present and ran downstairs to hear his news. Eddie was stood in the kitchen, making a cup of tea.

“Don’t tell me, they loved you! If they didn’t then they’re fools and their film will go down in history as being the worst ever made!”

He turned to see Amy stood in the kitchen doorway and he felt that now familiar tickle in his chest. Eddie grinned “I got it!”

“I knew you would! Congratulations!!” I ran over to him and gave him a massive hug.

“They may have to look for someone else though if you don’t let me get some oxygen!”

I let go of him but couldn’t stop grinning as he told me about the film. It was an adaptation of the book, The Da Vinci Code. The book had been a big hit when it came out so the film was sure to draw quite a crowd. Eddie was going to play the symbologist who helped the lead lady unravel the myth of the Holy Grail. I was so happy for him, I knew that this would really launch him.

“This calls for a drink, I’ll call round and get some mates here for a party” he suggested.

“Of course, crack open the champagne!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Eddie stumbled back into the kitchen, he’d just been to the shop for another bottle of wine. The fresh air outside had cleared his thoughts. He had the image of Amy’s smile fixed in his mind from when he’d told her that he’d got the part. He wanted to make her smile all the time. He was just opening the bottle when the kitchen door opened and he heard a voice that made his heart jump.

“I’ve got a bit of something for you.” I said. “Just a little present as a thank you.”

He looked down at the carefully wrapped present and then up at her as she smiles again. Eddie wants to hug her so badly that he thinks he’ll burst. He doesn’t care what the present is, he only wants to remember her holding it out for him. As always with Amy, he mostly wants to freeze time.

“For letting me stay here these last couple of weeks. You’ve been such a great friend, I just wanted to say thank you.”

Eddie felt a torrent of emotion building, he hid his eyes, dropping his face down as he opened the present. It was a T-shirt with Steve McQueens’ face printed on the front. He smiled, then felt a tear escape.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?” My eyes found his and I searched them for an answer.

“Nothing, nothing” he sniffed, smiling up at me.

“I know it’s not the best present but I didn’t think it was that bad!” I joked, making him laugh.

“It’s just a big day is all and I’m being daft, honestly, I’m fine” he sniffed.

I stepped closer to him and wiped the tear away, I looked down into his blue eyes, wanting to lose myself in them. Why wouldn’t he tell me what was wrong? I asked myself. “Are you sure? Nothing more to tell?”

As Eddie looked at her, he felt the knot of tension growing in the pit of his stomach, his pulse quickened as she wiped away his tear. His mind was filled with the thought that she was here, right next to him. All he would have to do is reach out and he’d be holding her. He let out a shuddering sigh.

“That night when Chris came to your flat, I was already on my way to you before you rang. I was coming to tell you something, to tell you the truth.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long but have been scared of what could happen….”

“Tell me what?” I interrupted.

He stood and paced the kitchen floor, trying to think clearly.

“Eddie?”

He carried on pacing. I strode over to him and blocked his path. “Eddie, tell me what?” I demanded.

He takes my arm and I’m pushed against the kitchen side. He’s so close to me that I can feel his hot breath on my cheek.

“I knew it from the moment I saw you.” He moves nearer again. And because I’m right against the kitchen side, there’s nowhere for me to go. I felt his stubble catching in my hair and it’s almost more than I can bear.

“To tell you this” In a swift movement his arms are around me. There’s nowhere for my arms to go but around him and it’s so simple, yet such a relief, that I can’t think why we hadn’t stood like this before. There is so much I want to say. I open my lips to speak and he leans forward, pressing his mouth to mine and the kiss seems to explode into me, like the first gasp of air after a long dive. I clutch him in disbelief, never wanting to let go and he fills his hands with my hair.

He takes his time, gently kissing my lips. I urge him for more, running my tongue along his bottom lip. Our kiss deepens, my body is arched against his, fingers tangled in his hair as his hands run up and down my back.

Slowly, he pulls away and we disentangle ourselves. He draws in a ragged breath and smiles at me. “I had no idea.” He says, bewildered.

“I was so sure that you couldn’t feel anything for me like that. I didn’t want to ruin being friends by telling you.”

He sighed “I was so scared of being hurt, I always have been. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t live with only showing part of myself to you.”

I couldn’t stand the distance between us anymore, I rushed forward and held him tightly. He wraps his arms around me again and looks down at me.

“Amy…I’m in love with you.” He holds his breath, scared to hear my response and I reach up, lightly stroking his cheek.

“I love you too.” I lean forwards and we kiss so softly and tenderly, never wanting the moment to end.

Our kiss becomes more passionate and our tongues explore each others mouths. My hand cradles his cheek as the other finds it’s way under his jumper and onto the hot skin of his back.

Eddie purrs in longing and he lifts me up onto the kitchen side. His mouth teases me, moving down slowly to my neck. His kisses spread like wild fire as he begins to unbutton my shirt. I wrap my legs around his waist and bite his ear gently as his kisses linger on the nape of my neck. I reach for his face and guide him back to my lips.

The doorbell rings and I’m quickly brought out of the moment.

“Mmm, ignore it.” Eddie whispers into my ear before nibbling it softly.

I get back to work, kissing every inch of his face, I’ve waited for this moment for so long.

“Oyyyyy Eddiiieeee!” There’s banging on the door.

This time Eddie pulls away.

“Ignore it.” I tell him and he returns to me, tracing the edge of my neckline with his tongue, slowly making his way down towards my breasts.

“Come onnn, let us innn!” It was Rich, Eddies’ mate shouting through the letter box.

We both stopped and looked at each other, panting for breath.

“More of them are gonna come” he said breathily. “They’ll all be banging on the door.”

I frowned “Is it locked?”

Eddie grinned at me and kissed me on the cheek. “It’ll be the shortest party ever, I promise.”

“But I want us to have our own party.” I smiled cheekily at him.

“Believe me, that’s all I want too, but they’re not gonna stop bugging us until they get in. Once they hear about a party, they want a party.”

I sighed “Come on then, let’s get it over with.”

Eddie kissed me again and I started buttoning my shirt back up again. I quickly retouched my lipstick as Eddie went to the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Jus’ cos you’re a big movie star now” Matt jibed “doesn’t mean you can’t come to a club we us.”

Eddie protested again “Nah, some other time, I think Amys’ wine has gotten the better of me.” More like intoxicated by her, he thought to himself. “I’ll go next weekend with you lot.”

“Alright, alright…lightweight!” Matt grinned.

Eddie sighed in relief, he’d thought that Matt wasn’t going to give in. Eddie had suggested everybody went clubbing, so that they’d leave him and Amy alone, but it started to backfire. He and Amy had been flirting madly since everyone had arrived and started to get drunk. Just at that moment, I came through the kitchen and trailed my hand across his shoulder. I leaned against the back of the one seater he was sat on and began playing with the hair at the back of his neck, unnoticed by anyone around us.

I leaned closer to him again and whispered into his ear “Follow me.” Stepping towards the living room door I looked over my shoulder, winking at him as a smile played over his lips.

He came through to where I was waiting for him in the hallway. He leant his shoulder against the doorframe “You wanted something?” He smirked.

“You know what I want” I replied sultry.

“I do?” He asked innocently, then his mouth turned up into a broad, sexy smile.

I stepped closer to him, placing one hand on his stomach, the other on his shoulder. Caressing the soft silk of his shirt, I whispered in his ear “I want you.” I moved slowly around from his ear to his mouth, tempting him, hot breath against each others faces.

He tried to resist, knowing that if he gave in to temptation that he would have to tear himself away again. He just had to wait a little longer, just a little while, he thought. But there she was, right in front of him, her soft lips waiting for him, he felt himself getting closer to her. He felt his hands reaching up and resting on her hips.

With a shuddering sigh, he gave in, kissing me passionately. I tilt my head back, wanting more as he runs his tongue over my lips. He felt me tremble and the realisation that I was turned on made his body spring into life. I pushed him so that his back was against the door, we could feel the longing in each other but Eddies’ elbow hit the door, banging loudly. Remembering that we had to get rid of everyone, he reluctantly pulled away.

Still holding each other and short of breath, I spoke “We’ve got to make them leave.” He nodded and giving me a quick kiss on the lips, went back through to the living room. I followed Eddie through a couple of minutes later and sat opposite him. I glanced around the room to check whether anyone had noticed our disappearance but stopped when I saw Eddies face, he had my lipstick smudged on his lips. Grinning, I caught his eye and wiped my lips while looking at his, he got the hint and quickly smudged it away on the back of his hand.

A little while later, everyone finally began to leave. Most of them were going to this new club called Crystal. Both Eddie and me stood on the doorstep, saying goodbye to everyone, his hand pressed against the small of my back. Matt was the last to stumble out, just before he opened the gate, he turned back to us both, “Have a cosy night in then. Don’t tire him out too much Ame, we can’t have our movie star too knackered to learn his lines….” He winked, laughing as he stumbled to catch up with the others.

“He knew?!” I exclaimed.

“I didn’t tell him!”

“Were we that obvious?!” We both burst out laughing as we walked back into the warmth of the house.

I closed the door behind me and Eddie passed me my glass of wine, smiling softly. My heart warmed, this was too good to be true.

“I must be dreaming.” I thought out loud.

He stroked my cheek tenderly “It’s the sweetest dream I’ve ever had, I never want it to end.”

I had to break away from his gaze, pulling away from him I took a quick gulp of my wine.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

I sniffed, avoiding his eyes. “I’m erm, I’m just… a bit…”

“Scared?” he interrupted me.

I nodded slowly “Terrified would be a better word. Terrified that one of us will get hurt.”

“Me too” he quietly said, looking into my eyes. “I’ve been hurt before and I’m so scared of it happening again. I know what you’ve been through, I would never hurt you and I would lay down my life before I allowed someone to hurt you again. Amy, I love you more with every breath I take. All I want is for you to love me too.”

My eyes welled and I held him closely. Raising my hand to his cheek, I gazed into his blue eyes, sparkling fiercely.

“Eddie, I’ve never felt as strongly about anything, as I feel about you right now. I never want to let you go, I love you with all my heart.”

He pulled me closer, kissing me softly. I felt myself melt into his strong arms, wanting to savour every moment with him.

“We don’t have to do anything” he whispered into my ear. “We can just hold each other.”

“Let’s go upstairs” I whispered back, drawing in a shaky breath.

”Are you sure?”

I smiled and holding his hand, led him upstairs.
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