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Forsaken	By : xdrysalivax Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1224 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Midnight Visitings
- 2-The Bottle Drops
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- 2
[Disclaimer: Kyo and Die arn't really together. =3 this is because Kyo is mine...
somewhere in the worl Kyo screams at me ... >_> ]

Chocolate eyes peered through a crystallized window. It was dark, but a small dimmed light inside on a counter table next to the bed was on, luminating a small figure half sheeted in a rather large bed. Bold fingers crept up snaking their way in through the small crease in the window. It was open only a crack, but that was enough. His red and black hair sticking to his face from the rain that slowly began to still.

One creek and his body stilled watching the man in the bed twitch lightly and turn to his side. He breathed out slowly sliding out of his shoes and leaving his jacket on the floor. The guitarists heart sped with each footstep closer, it had been months. Agonizing months, and he just couldn’t stay away. No matter whether it was “right” or “allowed”. He knelt down, stomach laying over the bed and an arm slowly reached out to touch that face which was deep in slumber.
“You’re so beautiful… how can such a thing be not allowed? How can.. something that feels so right be so wrong?”

A small noise emitted from the one who recently decided to let his natural color come out than slowly, rich dark lashes revealed sleepy coal orbs. A startled gasp came about as they matched desperate chocolate hues, and wet rings of fire stained tresses.

His heart tightened, almost feeling tears tug at him as he saw that look on the elders face, “what are you doing here?”

He’d been just as broken when he was denied such love. It always seemed that way. When something good happened… it wasn’t allowed to happen. Kaoru put down a rule that there would be no relations within the band. It was understandable… it could break the band apart. Tension between lovers was something they didn’t need and something that effected the band as a whole, that and with Kyo and Die… well. A friendly squabble between partners managed to turn out into world war three. None the less, it still hurt… just as much to stand beside the one you long for and know… you can never touch them.

“I can’t do it,” was a simple response.

Die was just as dedicated to music as Kyo was, sometimes it seemed even more so. He lived for his guitar, breathed rhythm, loved with melody. He was his guitar, just as Kyo was his voice and lyrics. They were both very passionate beings, which when such strong characters combine… to tear them apart was heart shattering. But Kaoru was the leader, the eldest, the man who called the shots. Even though the band mostly had an equal say, his word was final.

Smaller fingers pushed into the bed slowly elevating a slender body which was just dressed in a pair of boxers and large shirt. He sat, watching the man slowly climb up onto the bed. He’d never seen the man look so melancholy. Normally his face was vibrant and playful, lately its been stretched with sorrow. To the vocalists eyes anyways, he could feel it.. even behind that smile and those stupid jokes and prying.

“I need to be close to you..”

Kyo bite down on the inside of his lip looking away from the warmth that was coming closer. His body ceased when he felt warm arms wrap closely around him, his gentle face pressed into a partially exposed toned caramel chest. He laid his ear against the mans chest listening to his heartbeat. Sweet memories arising, their first kiss.. their arguments and fights.. the good and bad all flashing back to their bitter end. Warm fingers trailed down the small spine, pressing and massaging the small of his back. The guitarists chin leaning on the top of the vocalists head and sealing a delicate kiss to his hairline.

“Say something… anything please. Don’t leave me in the dark..” his voice laced with a low tone of deep sadness.

Kyo slowly slid his arms around the other man, grasping the thin shirt around the back tightly. He left a strained kiss on the smooth chest before looking up with a shaken breath. He couldn’t let it happen, and it tore him apart more and more each day. Die had the option to become anything else he wished to become, Kyo didn’t… he didn’t even make it to high school. His music was his life, and all he had. His body began to tremble slightly, the grip of the other man becoming more firm the very instant the shaking was felt. You aren’t a creature of somber. He pulled away standing to exit the room.

“Where are you going,” the other shouted a bit loudly staggering to his feet to follow the shorter man, “Kyo answer me damnit!”

The following was quite silent through the halls of the large house, it was suppose to be their house.

“Kyo stop! Stop please, fucking talk to me damn you,” he growled reaching out for an arm, his heart beating fast enough to tear out of chest.

His grip firmed around the slender wrist, though the younger protested. Soon pressed against the wall, their bodies pressed against each other to secure the small but feisty male in place.

Drying lips pulled in to the face that refused to look at him, “stop.. Kyo please. Don’t do this to me… I can’t… I can’t stand being without you. They can’t tell us this is wrong they can’t!”

The younger quivered, chest in pain as he felt tears ebbing his eyes. Slowly he closed his eyes, lashes catching the wet salty liquid brushing them to drop over pallid skin.

His lips parted, “I didn’t choose to love you,” the voice was monotone, dead and spaced out as if almost inhuman in its misery.

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t love you,” the vocalist screamed, his voice hitching as new tears formed and still refused to look up to the red head he adored so much.

He snapped back turning to move again but reluctantly caught by the elder once more, “Look at me. Look me in the eye and say it. I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you for a fucking second. How can YOU of all people say such a thing after everything we’ve been through all these fucking years!?”

Kyo jerked his arm fast enough for the red head to loose grip and ran down the hall quickly hurrying himself behind a door and locking it. He flicked on the light dimmer so it was only a low glow, trying to drown out the mans screaming and banging as he broke to his knee’s. Gravity seemingly weighing him down, his fingers gasped the toilet ahead of him.

“Kyo! Open this fucking door!” his voice broke as audible tears tore down his smooth mocha features, “KYO! Don’t fucking do this to me, I know it hurts you too don’t lie to me!”

He continued to bang on the door. Kyo wanted to pin his eyes shut, bury his head so he couldn’t hear. His tears dropping on the smooth white surface as he hurled over, his stomach tightening and body jolting in his gags.

“I DON’T LOVE YOU!”

One last bang on the door and the guitarist broke sliding down the crafted wooden door, the side of his head pressed against it as his body slumped into a pool of pain.

“I love you… I love you so much…” he whimpered lowly, not enough for anyone to hear but himself before he lost his balance hitting his head off the tub causing unconsciousness.
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