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My December	By : Fuelish Category: Individual Celebrities > Josh Groban Views: 2009 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Josh Groban. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
CHAPTER ONE

Josh rolled over onto his stomach and tucked his pillow underneath his chin. The sun was streaming into the room through the blinds making long lines across his back. The heat of the rays warmed him and though his body was tired his mind was fully awake. He sighed. He didn’t want to be up this early. He opened one eye and glanced at the clock, 9:43. He closed the eye and pressed his face into the warm fabric of his pillowcase.
“Dammit.” He muttered. He didn’t get to sleep until 4. He was out with some friends at a bar and when they all tired of the smoky, loud music, loose women hitting on them scene they had gone over to Jason’s house and played pool until he was falling asleep standing up leaning on a pool cue. He drove himself home slowly and barely shed his clothing when he fell into bed and was out. He’d woken up several times during the night and had stupid dreams that interrupted any sound sleep he might have otherwise had. Now here it was morning, and he could sleep later, he needed to sleep later but his eyes wouldn’t stay closed and his brain wouldn’t shut up! Sighing heavily he squeezed his eyes closed and buried his face into his pillow once again, this time holding his hands over his ears as if to quell the little voice that spoke to him, antagonized him, and was keeping him awake when he didn’t want to be. He was thankful January wasn’t here. He liked sleeping alone, he slept much better when she wasn’t there, with the exception of now when he couldn’t sleep for anything. When they first started dating and she would spend the night he was enthralled. The sex was great, to wake up and kiss and touch and make love was beyond compare. But the snoring was not. The stealing of the blanket wasn’t either. Neither was the fact that she spread her legs over the whole end of the bed and kicked him or scratched him with her nails. In defiance he spread his legs over the bed and relished in the cool feeling of the sheets on his ankles and feet. It was then that he noticed how warm he was getting. He was fully waking up. He thought about Jan. He tried to put it out of his mind but he kept wandering back to her, like it or not. She was half a world away in Australia filming a new movie with Jude Law. At first he had protested when she told him. He was finally off from the hefty tour schedule he’d endured for the last two years and wanted to spend some time with her, trying to get to know her again. They were together two weeks before she’d gotten a call about a small part in a new movie that was filming and when she found out that Jude was the star she didn’t hesitate in saying she would do it. He pouted like a child for a week before she left and it wasn’t just that she was leaving him alone to his own devices but that Jude had a reputation with the ladies and given a fraction of a chance he was sure that she would jump at it and leave him in a heartbeat. Josh rolled over onto his back and kicked off the covers. They were starting to make him sweat. The sun singed his tired eyes and he clamped them closed hoping to block it out to no avail. He draped an arm over his eyes and darkness once again was his. After Jan left he started to do things he never would have done with her here. He spent time with his family, his brother in particular. The played football in the yard at his parent’s house, he visited aunts and uncles he hadn’t seen in years, he cleaned his condo and finally emptied a few boxes that were stored in the closet, and he read a book. He read a book! He even hooked up with friends he hadn’t seen since high school and played pool, drank beer, and did regular ‘guy’ stuff. It was rejuvenating! Sadness had engulfed him when he realized why he was having so much fun these days, he had tired of Jan and the celebrity life. For a long time he thought he was deeply in love and would marry her and she would bear his children. That dream went down the toilet when, during a casual conversation she mentioned that having kids was a long way off. She had her career to think about right now. He had been crushed, for within his career he could have a wife and children and not have it affect it much. It was then he realized that having a celebrity, actress wife would be a mistake and since then his moods had been sliding downhill, plummeting like a hot sled on an ice hill. He knew what he had to do and he didn’t like it. He loved her, or so he thought. When they were together alone, they kissed and had hot sex, it felt like love … didn’t it? He sat up suddenly and looked around his room. There was no use sitting here in bed when he wasn’t sleeping. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and hopped off of it grateful for the cool the air provided his naked body as he padded out to the kitchen and filled the coffee pot. Once it was brewing he shuffled back into the bathroom where he did his business and then ran a hand through his curls. He eyed himself in the mirror. He was unshaven and unkempt. He smiled and pulled a matted curl straight out from the side of his head and let it go. It snapped back and hugged his head. He loved his hair. It was his best feature he felt. Jan always told him it was his eyes but he knew better. His eyes weren’t so special, they were just brown. Typical. But the hair … he shook his head and watched the curls flop lazily wherever they wanted. Most people with curly hair hated it, hard to take care of and in the humidity the curls would hug tight to their heads. He loved it! It was easy to take care of and he didn’t spend hours in the make-up chair before a concert or appearance. Even in high school when he was a total dork and a thespian geek the girls loved his hair. Yeah, he winked at himself, his hair was his best feature. He headed back into the bedroom where he slipped into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt before going back to the kitchen for some coffee. He brought his mug into the living room where he flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Saturday mornings there wasn’t much on to watch except for cartoons and though he loved watching them he had an anxious feeling inside him. He flipped restlessly from channel to channel before stopping at the E! Entertainment Network when he spied a segment on Jude Law and the filming of his new movie. He turned the volume up louder as he listened to the reporter talking about Jude and his newest conquest. The reporter told how Jude had lost Sienna Miller months ago when he’d had a fling with the nanny who watched his children while he made movies and other actresses apparently. Josh took a sip of his coffee when Jan’s face was plastered over the screen. He tried to swallow the coffee and found it was stuck in his throat. He choked and forced himself to swallow as video showed Jude and Jan walking together into a restaurant, Jude smiling triumphantly. Jan was called the ‘former’ girlfriend of crooner Josh Groban. “Former?” He said hoarsely as the coffee had burned his throat. “What the fuck is that all about, former?” He stared at the screen as though it would give him the answers he wanted, he needed. Since when did he become a former? Had something happened between them recently that he didn’t know about? He needed to talk to her. He picked up the cordless phone next to him on the end table and dialed her cell number. As it rang he wondered aloud what the time difference between California and Australia was. He didn’t care, he had to know about this ‘former’ label that had just been stuck on him. He kept one eye on the TV as he waited for Jan to pick up. When she didn’t he squawked into the phone when he was told to leave a message at the tone. “Hey, where are you? How’s the filming coming along? It’s Saturday morning and I’m thinking about you and wondering what you’re up to. Call me back.” And he hung up. He shook his head. So he had been right to worry. He set the coffee down on the cocktail table and sat back on the couch. He bit down on his thumb nail and stared out the window at the huge palm that was in front of it. It swayed in the breeze, fronds flapping restlessly. Restless like he was. And now, apparently he was a ‘former boyfriend.’ He let his eyes go out of focus as an anger of sorts churned around in his belly. He sighed as he realized he wasn’t all that surprised. Two years into the relationship he decided it would be doomed. She was a busy actress and model and he was just a singer. Was there a difference? Hell yeah there was a difference. They were from different worlds. To the untrained eye and on the surface it would seem they were the same but deep down they were as far apart as A and Z. He wasn’t aware of how much time had passed since he began staring out the window and when the phone rang next to him he was startled. He answered it quickly.
“Hi honey. How are you doing?” It was his mom. He reached forward and grabbed his coffee mug.
“I’m all right, Mom. What’s up?” He sipped the coffee and it had cooled. He had been sitting there longer then he originally thought.
“Nothing’s up, Josh. What are you going to do today?” He made a face and rolled his eyes. Apparently becoming a former boyfriend was at the top of his list.
“I have nothing planned. Do you want to do something?” He heard her doing something in the background. It sounded like she was playing in a bag like a cat.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me. Your dad is off playing golf.” She played in the bag some more. It was so loud it was almost annoying.
“Mom, what the hell are you doing over there?” He said, easily agitated.
“Taking some groceries out of the bag. I just got home from the store.”
“Can you stop it while you’re talking to me? It’s loud and annoying.” She sighed.
“After I put away the eggs I can. What’s wrong with you?” She said, suspicious. If anyone knew his moods it was Lindy. He sipped some more of the cold coffee and sighed.
“Nothing, I’m just tired.” She, obviously finished with the eggs had gone silent.
“Late night out with the boys?” She teased.
“Yes.” He answered and offered no other information.
“Then why aren’t you still sleeping?” He rolled his eyes again and bit on the nail he’d bitten before.
“You tell me and we’ll both know.” Lindy laughed. She had used that saying since he was an infant and here he was now saying it to her.
“Well how about it, killer, want to hang with your old mom this afternoon? I’ll buy you lunch …”
“Oh, you’re buying?” He asked, taunting. “Well shit, yeah then!”
“Joshua!” Lindy chastised. “That’s twice you’ve sworn in this conversation.” He didn’t usually swear in front of his mom much less to his mom and now he’d done it twice in a matter of 5 minutes. He felt himself blush.
“Sorry, Mom.” He muttered. He heard her sigh. If she knew him as well as he thought she did he knew she was onto the fact that he was disturbed by something. To some people he was an enigma but to his mother, he was an open book. Even to his father he was mysterious but Lindy …
“It’s all right. I will pick you up in half an hour. Will you be ready?” He looked down at what he was wearing and wiggled his toes.
“Can I wear shorts?”
“Wear what you want.”
“Then I’m ready now.” He said.

***********************************************************************

“So what’s eating you?” Lindy asked turning down the radio as she turned the Chrysler 300 onto the highway. He slumped down into the leather seat and looked out the passenger window.
“I’m tired, I told you already.” He mumbled. She snapped off the radio and then reached a hand out to cover her son’s. She squeezed it gently.
“I already know what’s wrong.” She said. He looked at her, searching for the truth. “I got a call from Pat today.” Pat was a friend she’d had since the boys were young and because Lindy did her best to avoid any gossip from LA Pat kept her up on the things she thought she should know. Josh sat up straight at the mention of information from Pat.
“What did she say?” He asked, afraid to hear the answer. Lindy squeezed his hand again before releasing it and putting it on the leather covered steering wheel.
“She said there’s rumors flying around about Jan and Jude Law.” He gulped.
“Then they are just rumors?” He said, somewhat hopefully.
“Well, Jude has a reputation Josh. He’s a ladies’ man.” He turned his head to the window again. His mom’s feelings had cooled for Jan since she caught them in the bathroom at her own house in a, shall we say – compromising position. She wasn’t one much for pre-marital sex not to mention catching a woman giving her son a blow job in her own bathroom at her own house. It was fine when she didn’t know the details but then seeing it was something totally different.
“So they are just rumors.” He said again, more trying to convince himself then his mom. Lindy stared out the front window and exited the highway towards Pasadena. “Have you watched TV at all lately?” He asked. She cleared her throat. She had but she wouldn’t tell him that she had.
“No, honey, why?” When she cleared her throat Josh knew she was going to lie. She had always done that and why she didn’t know that both him and his brother knew that was beyond him. Parents called it the “little white lie” but it was a lie and a lie, no matter what color it was is a lie.
“Well there was video they showed of Jan and Jude going into a restaurant together.” His mom’s lips tightened then. She had seen more then that and heard things from Pat that she wouldn’t tell him. There were pictures in People magazine of Jude and Jan holding hands walking on a beach. Pat had told her there were photos circulating of them kissing.
“Josh, honey, I know you know this already but I’m going to say it again …” Lindy took a deep breath before finishing and Josh took a deep breath before hearing it. “Jan is an actress and actresses …” She thought of the right way to put it. “Let’s just say that you are probably better off with someone who doesn’t go with the Hollywood crowd. You’ve never been one of those people and you never will. You’re different.” He cringed when she told him he was ‘different.’ He’d been told that all his life and it kept him from hanging around with the popular kids and doing the things he would have loved to do. He was a geek, a dork, a thespian, a singer. So what? So it kept him hanging around with the other geeks and dorks, thespians and singers. He wasn’t popular really until he went to Interlochen, a school for, quote-end quote artists. There he found his kind, his people, his crowd. Actresses were artists were they not? He was an artist. That made them two of a kind in his book. Obviously not to his mother.
“So how am I so different, Mom?” She smiled and glanced at him.
“Honey, you have feelings. You’re very passionate. Jan is …” She searched for the right words as she searched for a parking space. “She’s flighty.” He burst out laughing.
“Flighty? That’s all you can say about her that she’s ‘flighty’?” His mother sighed disgustedly at him.
“You know what I mean.” He nodded. Oh he knew all right.
“You think she’s a tramp.” It was Lindy’s turn to laugh. Josh smiled and nodded. He was right and he knew it. “Yeah, you do. Ever since that time …” Lindy parked the car and turned on him before he could say it.
“Don’t say another word about that young man.” She shook a finger at him. He gave her a surprised look and backed up against the passenger side door. “You know that made me angry and you’re lucky I was the one who found you and not your father or one of your other relatives! The house was full of people that day and I still say you should be ashamed of yourself.” He gave her the puppy dog eyes she could never be angry with and stuck his bottom lip out.
“I’m sorry.” He said childishly.
“Oh here comes the shovel.” She said and he laughed. Once, when he was 5 and he pouted his mom said he stuck his lower lip out like a shovel and ever since then it wasn’t a pouty lip it was a shovel. Josh laughed too and stuck out the ‘shovel’ again. “Put away the shovel and lets go shopping.”

They went from store to store, looking at things, buying very little. Finally at three when Josh’s stomach was rumbling and threatening to register on the Richter scale they stopped at a little café for lunch. It was a quaint little outdoor café. Josh didn’t care what it was as long as they served food and he could eat it.
“Oh Josh, look who’s here!” Lindy exclaimed spying an old friend and her daughter. She waved to them. “It’s Cynthia and Penny.” Josh furrowed his brows and squinted into the sun to get a better look at the mother and daughter who sat together wearing matching sun hats under an umbrella table near the street.
“Who are they?” He asked more interested in sitting down and looking at a menu. Lindy grabbed his hand and pulled him to their table when Cynthia waved them over.
“Friends of mine. Come, I’ll introduce you to Penny. She’s single you know.” Josh sighed as his mother dragged him to their table and pushed him into a chair. Lindy hugged Cynthia and then sat down. “What a wonderful coincidence!” Lindy gushed. “Penny you look gorgeous!” Penny blushed and smiled, her hat tipping down obscuring everything except her glistening watermelon colored lips. “So how’s Interlochen?” At the mention of the school, Josh’s ears perked up and he looked at his mother momentarily before signaling a waiter over.
“It’s great, Mrs. Groban. The fall season is going to start soon. Mother and I were just shopping for some outfits for me to take back to Michigan.” She spoke so softly Josh had to strain to hear her. The waiter rushed over and handed Josh and Lindy menus then offered to take drink orders.
“I want a beer.” Josh said. Lindy frowned at him. He ignored her. “In a glass.” He added. “A large glass.”
“Iced tea for me.” She said to the waiter and he was gone. Josh opened his menu and perused it while Lindy made small talk with Cynthia and her muted, blushing daughter. He decided what he wanted then set down the menu. He leaned back in the chair and folded his hands in his lap.
“So Joshua,” Cynthia began and tipped her head back so she could see him from underneath her big hat. “I hear you’re going back into the studio to record another album.” He nodded.
“Yes, then you heard right. I’ve already started it as a matter of fact.” His drink arrived and he took a gulp.
“My Penny is enrolled at Interlochen.” She said and patted her daughter’s hand. Penny kept her head down, Josh couldn’t see her blushing. “She’s a dancer.”
“That’s nice.” Josh said and looked down the street at the people bustling about, bags and boxes clutched in their arms and hands. Lindy kicked him hard under the table. He yelped and grabbed at his leg, oblivious to her signal. “What’d you do that for?” He asked absently. Lindy forced a smile.
“Sorry honey, I didn’t know your leg was so close.” She said through gritted teeth. He rubbed the pain out of his shin and took another gulp of beer. He felt a belch rising and out of courtesy to the three women he sat with stifled it behind his hand. “Penny also sings, don’t you Penny?” Lindy said elbowing Josh.
“Yes, I do. But my first love is dance.” Josh, again couldn’t hear a word she was saying and had the urge to ask her to repeat it but he wasn’t that interested in what she was saying anyway. The waiter returned and they placed their food order.
“Tell Josh about the interpretations you do, Penny.” Cynthia said encouraging her daughter to talk to Josh. He crossed his leg under the table and shook it absently.
“I have been dancing to Michael Buble recently.” She whispered. “But I have danced to your music.” Josh noticed that the table was shaking to his foot and smiled. Once again, his mother’s elbow connected with his bicep and he glared at her.
“That’s really nice.” Josh said to Penny, not really having any idea what she had just said but he was sure it was nice. Her and her mother were nice, it was his own mother that wasn’t being nice and he was about to pull her around the corner and question her about it when his cell phone went off. He glanced at the caller I.D. “I have to take this call.” He said excusing himself from the table. It was January. “Where have you been?” He began when he answered.
“Well hi to you too.” January said with a laugh. “You know goofy, when you called me it was like 3AM and I was sound asleep.” He glanced at his watch. That would make it around 8AM in Australia. He sighed. He didn’t know what the time difference was when he called and he now relaxed when he realized that she hadn’t called because she wasn’t awake.
“Oh brother.” He said and laughed at himself. “So how’s the movie coming along?”
“It’s coming.” She said. “Australia is gorgeous.”
“So is Jude Law I’ll bet.” He said flatly. He heard her sigh and then it was silent. “Jan?” He asked, not sure if they had been cut off.
“I’m here.” She said finally. “Jude is a nice man, Josh. Nothing else.” He turned and leaned back against the brick wall of the restaurant.
“Now did I say he was anything else?” He said with a sarcastic tone.
“You implied it.”
“I implied nothing.” He denied and bent his knee and put his foot flat on the wall behind him.
“Yes you did.”
“Apparently you’re feeling a little guilty, Jan.” He felt the heat of his temper flare and did his best to control it.
“Apparently you are reading the Enquirer, Josh. That stuff isn’t real and you know it.” She clicked her tongue.
“Well I found out today that I’m a former boyfriend. Did you know about this? And if so, when were you going to tell me?” He accentuated the ‘former’ part which elicited more protests from Jan. “You’re half a world away sweetie, how do I know what goes on there? I rely on TV and magazines to tell me.”
“Then believe what you want. I have to go, filming has begun and I’m late.” She said angrily. Josh hung up and leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.
“Well that went poorly.” He muttered to himself and went back to the table. The food had been delivered and he began to eat. He didn’t realize until he was mostly done with his lunch that he’d been shoveling food nonstop into his mouth.
“You gonna breathe Josh?” Lindy asked and stared at him. He looked up and all three women were eyeballing him. He wiped his mouth with his napkin.
“What?” He said shrugging. “I’m hungry.” Lindy laughed and Cynthia followed. Penny blushed and hid her face with her hat. Josh shook his head and continued eating until he was done then he sat back and finished off his beer. When he was finally full he sighed. Lindy had barely begun eating and stared at him.
“When was the last time you ate?” She asked taking a small fork full of her chicken salad. Josh glanced at his watch.
“Yesterday some time.” He said. She nodded and the other three women quietly ate their lunch. Bored, Josh got up, excused himself and sauntered off down the block ducking into a store.
“I think he likes you, Penny.” Cynthia said to her daughter who had finally taken off her hat to eat.
“Why would you say that, Mom?” Penny asked sipping her water with the necessary slice of lemon in it. “He hasn’t said more then two words to me the whole time.”
“Oh that doesn’t mean anything, Penny.” Lindy said squinting down the block to see where her wayward son made off to. “He’s very shy at first. Give him a chance to get to know you.” Penny sighed.
“If there is a chance …” She mumbled. Just as the girls were finishing what they could of their lunch Josh came bounding back, his hands hidden behind him. When he approached he handed each one of them a single pink rose. When Lindy took hers he kissed her cheek.
“Well isn’t that sweet of you, Josh!” She gushed and smooched him back. He smiled handsomely.
“Yes, thank you Joshua!” Cynthia said and eyed her daughter.
“Very kind of you, Josh.” Penny said. She could have said ‘go straight to hell’ and Josh never would have known. He just smiled and nodded. He looked at his watch and rubbed his hands together.
“Well, Mom, should we get going. Dad’ll be home for sure by now and I’ve got to meet the other Josh at the studio. We’re working on something together.” He eyed her expectantly. She nodded.
“Yes, you’re right. We should get going.” Josh pulled out his wallet and dropped a fifty dollar bill on the table. He scooted his chair away from the table and helped his mother up.
“It was a pleasure to meet you ladies.” Josh said politely to Cynthia and Penny who had stuffed her hat back onto her head. Had someone asked him to describe what she looked like he would be at a loss to do so. She had pink lips, that was all he could see. Cynthia rose and extended her hand to Josh who took it and kissed the back of it lightly.
“It was also a pleasure to meet you, Joshua. Perhaps you and Penny could get together sometime. She’s going back to school in two weeks but maybe you could get together before then.” Josh nodded.
“That would be fabulous. I’ll get your number from my mom.” He turned to find her and she was tottering off towards the car. “Who seems to have left without me.” He laughed nervously. Cynthia grabbed a napkin and then retrieved a pen from her purse.
“Nonsense, Josh, here’s Penny’s number. In case your mother forgets.” She wrote down a number on the napkin and stuffed it into his hand. Josh thanked her and then turned to Penny.
“It was nice to meet you too.” He said, leaning down and lifting the front of her hat from her face. Amazing Caribbean blue eyes peeked at him and he was taken aback. He expected blue since her mother had blue eyes but these were very vivid blue. She looked down.
“I hope to hear from you soon.” She said quietly. It was the first full sentence he’d heard from her since they’d met an hour earlier. Her voice, he decided was pretty, she just needed to raise it up a few DBs – or decibels as someone not in the music industry would call them. He ran to catch up with his mother who had started the car and cranked the air conditioning.
“Well thanks for leaving me back there.” He said sliding onto the seat and closing the door. Lindy put it in drive and headed towards the highway.
“She’s a sweet girl, isn’t she?” Lindy said when they were safely on the road. Josh sighed.
“That was a set-up back there, wasn’t it Mom?” He asked. He knew darn well it was, he could smell a set-up a mile away. She cleared her throat.
“No, honey! That was purely coincidental that Cynthia was there with pretty Penny.” He coughed into his hand and while he was coughing he muttered, “bull shit.” “What did you say?” She asked, shocked.
“I said, yeah right Mom. A coinkeydink if I ever saw one!” Lindy smiled at him out of the corner of her mouth but kept her eyes on the road.
“Did you ask her out?” She asked, finally breaking the silence that had settled on the inside of the car. Josh shook his head.
“Nope.”
“Are you going to?” He shrugged. He doubted it and cleared his throat before he spoke.
“Probably.” He said, knowing full well he didn’t intend to.
“Good.” Lindy said, oblivious to the fact that he’d cleared his throat like she did before she told a lie. “Because she’s a nice girl.”
“Unlike Jan.” Josh said matter-of-fact and eyed his mother.
“That’s right.” She said without hesitating. Josh sighed.

Josh didn’t need a menu, he knew this restaurant like the back of his hand. He and Jan had spent countless occasions here and he probably had tried everything on the menu at least once, some things twice. He signaled the waiter over and ordered his favorite beer, a Anchor Steam in a tall glass. He eyed his date and inquired as to what she would like to drink. She asked if she could have a glass of white wine. The waiter bowed at them and went to fetch their beverages. At his mother’s urging Josh called Penny and asked her if she’d like to have dinner with him, she said yes and here they were at The Stinking Rose on Restaurant Row in Beverly Hills. She had looked a little hesitant at first when he pulled up and the valet opened the door for her. She glanced sideways at Josh.
“What?” He said to her. “This is the best restaurant on the row!” He got out of the car and headed towards the front door. She followed silently and passed through the door he held open for her. The smell of garlic hit her like a ton of bricks and she almost gagged. She wasn’t a huge garlic fan but she was here with Josh Groban and wouldn’t complain. When the waiter returned with their drinks he asked if they were ready to order. Josh didn’t care whether or not Penny was ready, he knew what he wanted and proceeded to order. “I’ll have the Filet Mignon, medium rare, with pesto potatoes and the vegetables with olive oil and garlic.” Penny still scanned the menu and felt both Josh and the water staring at her, waiting.
“Ummm …” She said, stalling. She wanted nothing on this menu, she would have rather have gone to Chevy’s where she could have had a chicken salad or something without garlic. “I’ll have the gnocchi with the cream sauce. Is there much garlic in it?” She asked and wrinkled up her nose. Josh laughed. There was garlic in everything in this restaurant including the ice cream! It was surely going to be an interesting date. The waiter sniffed in response and grabbed the menu out of her hand. Josh handed his over, the waiter took it and disappeared. An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. Josh was bored already. He mentally kicked himself for not taking her to a movie or somewhere he wouldn’t have to entertain her. He wasn’t up to it. He hadn’t heard much from Jan in the last week and the reports of her and Jude Law having an affair were coming more and more frequently. Every time he asked her about it Jan would deny everything and profess her love for him. He got sick of it and stopped calling her. When he finally saw the pictures of them on the Australian beach holding hands he decided enough was enough and he would get used to being a ‘former.’ He took a large drink of his beer and stifled the belch that was rising up his esophagus from his stomach. Penny sipped her glass of wine and glanced now and then at Josh but kept her eyes to herself. He folded his hands in front of him and sighed, grateful for the noise and joviality of the restaurant since he was sitting across from Miss Shy. He cleared his throat loudly.
“So are you ready to go back to Interlochen?” He asked, raising his voice so he could be heard. He saw her lips move but heard nothing. He held a hand up to his ear.
“Yes!” She hollered. “It’s my second year.” He nodded. Again, the silence enveloped them. Suddenly his cell phone rang. He held a finger up to her and answered it and then plugged his ear with his finger. It was his buddy Jason. He wanted to know if Josh wanted to meet up with them later. Josh pretended it was someone important from the studio and agreed to meet them, grateful that he could dump her home after dinner then go have fun. The meal arrived a short time after that and they ate in silence. Josh finished nearly all of what he ordered and Penny barely touched hers. She didn’t ask for a box either. Josh didn’t care either way. He paid the bill and the two left. Josh drove down the boulevard and parked the car in the first space he found. He got out and opened the door for Penny. “Where are we going?” She whispered.
“I thought we could just walk for a while.” Josh said.
“Okay.” She said and pulled her sweater tight around her shoulders. It was a chilly night in LA but Josh didn’t feel the cold, he was warm from the alcohol in the two beers he’d had while at dinner. Penny walked next to him, head down, quiet.
“So, I went to Interlochen.” He said, hating to bring up the school again but it was the only thing he knew they had in common. It was frustrating him dearly that she wouldn’t talk, she would offer no other information to spark a conversation. He was going to have to end this date, and soon or he would go nuts. He silently cursed his mother for having pushed him into this. ‘Go out with someone normal.’ She’d said. Well Penny was far from normal. She was a mute, she never spoke unless spoken to and even then you had to have a hearing aid to hear her.
“I know that.” She said finally. “It was one of the reasons I insisted that my mother send me there.” He opened his eyes wide. A full sentence! She spoke a full sentence!
“Because of me?” He asked and slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. She nodded, her pony tail bouncing up and down.
“Yes. You are an inspiration to me, Josh.” He smiled and nodded.
“Okay.” He said, not knowing how to respond to that. They walked a bit longer in silence before he turned them around and headed back to the car. He drove her straight back to her house and parked in front. He turned off the engine and sat forward, staring out the front window into the darkness. “Well thank you for having dinner with me.” He said, his breath reeked with the pungent smell of garlic.
“No, thank you Josh for taking me to dinner. I really admire you.” He turned to her and smiled.
“Well that’s awfully nice of you. I …” He’d barely spoken when Penny leaped at him throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him full on the mouth, garlic breath and all. He held his arms up to stop her and his eyes opened wide in shock. She crawled into his lap pinning him to the seat, her bottom fitting neatly into the curve of the steering wheel. He struggled against her, but she was strong. He never imagined the strength she had being such a tiny thing! Her hands groped him, her mouth was all over his. He grabbed one of her hands and held it and while he sought the other she pulled the first hand away and went for his pants. He finally pulled his lips out of her suction. “Penny!” He hissed loudly not wanting to draw unwanted attention. She ignored him and began sucking at his neck. He didn’t know what to stop first, her hands on his jeans or her mouth on his neck. He opted to pull her mouth off his neck. “Stop it!” He grabbed her hands and held them tightly, not wanting to hurt her but not needing her sticking them down his pants. He gritted his teeth and shook his hair out of his eyes. His face was wet with sweat mingled with her saliva. He needed a tissue and he needed it fast! “What the hell is wrong with you?” He said breathing heavily. Her eyes met his for the first time that night and she smiled. He frowned.
“I want you, Josh.” She bared her teeth and bit at him. He backed up and turned away from her.
“You’re an animal.” He said and shoved her to the passenger seat. She fell against the door and then laughed. “I don’t see what’s so funny.” He seethed. “I think you’d better go.” He stared at her, watching, waiting to see if she would come at him again, ready to swing if he had to. She buttoned up her sweater and smoothed the hair back on her head where it had come free from the binding of the pony tail.
“Fine.” She said arrogantly. She opened the car door and climbed out. Before closing the door she leaned in. “By the way, you’re a jerk!” She slammed the door shut and stomped off towards the house. Josh started the car and peeled away, grateful for the growing distance between himself and that nutcase. He drove straight to his condo, went in, shed all of his clothing and hopped into the shower where he washed his hair and his body twice. He decided not to meet Jason and called him up feigning illness. Instead he pulled on a pair of pajama pants and crawled into bed. He’d had enough excitement for one night.

****************************************************************************

The Internet was awfully slow today. Josh sighed before signing onto his own website message board double checking to make sure he was invisible. He had signed on once or twice as himself and the site was flooded with fans causing it to have a melt down and was out for two days while the server tried to repair the fried connections. He wouldn’t say he was a superstar but he had his fair share of loyal fans – and he loved it. They loved him, he loved them and all was good in Grobania. Silly as it was it was the name they had given the website and again, silly as it was, he adored it. Perhaps it was his male ego that it stroked but he didn’t think too long or hard on it, it was his home and he visited more often then they knew. The Grobanians were forever begging him to post messages and he purposefully held back for when he did they were sated like baby birds waiting for their mother to bring them a worm. Then they were satisfied for a while before they started begging for more. They were currently begging. He read the posts that were on the first page of the message board. He laughed as they went on and on about him. Often times they talked about him and January, sometimes shocking him with some of the things that were said. Once or twice he even blushed. If only they knew he was reading their naughty thoughts. Satisfied that no one had caught wind that he was the ‘former’ boyfriend of January Jones he went to his favorite search site, Google, and performed a search of websites that catered to ‘formers.’ He detested thinking of himself as the ‘former’ boyfriend but after a few weeks of not talking to Jan he was getting used to the idea. He found a list of some 1,129 websites and started with the one at the top and worked his way down. The third one he found was quite interesting. He scanned the message board and finally signed himself up so he could post and read messages. When he received the validation email he went right to the board and starting reading. People here encouraged each other on how to meet new people and maintain relationships. He noticed that it wasn’t a ‘dating’ website, people weren’t there to meet other people for dating purposes but more like a website of encouragement. He liked that. He needed encouragement right now. Though he had accepted the fact that Jan was with another man, an actor, what he couldn’t accept was that she would just dismiss him without so much as a word or letter and then deny the whole thing when approached. He came across a new post by someone called katplus3is4, it was titled “Is romance dead? Long live romance!” He clicked on it and read. She wanted to know if, in fact romance was dead, how long it had lived and what it died of. She said she could barely remember what romance was or how it felt. He sighed. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He read a few of the replies, most were women who agreed with her and then one man who told her she was full of shit. Josh hit the reply button and began typing. “Play nice.” He began and then erased it. “I agree with you kat, my girlfriend of two years just broke up with me recently without even an explanation.” He erased that too. He sighed thinking of what he wanted to say and how he would say it. He rubbed his finger across his chin and then belched. “Romance is not dead and I say that because I am a hopeless romantic!” He smiled. Yeah, that was good. “It’s just that you have to be with the right person, you have to have that spark, that spontaneity, the desire to be romantic! You will find that person, Kat. Don’t, and I repeat don’t go for someone like the guy who replied before me. He needs to learn how to play nice!” He read it and re-read it before deciding it was good and hit the submit button. He went to another thread and there was that guy again, Angelo Angellini strutting his stuff and offending everyone, especially Kat. He sighed and shook his head. It was guys like that who give guys in general a bad reputation. He started to reply to the posts and gently correct Angelo’s behavior. Being new there he didn’t want to come off as a know-it-all but he couldn’t see some man being rude for the sake of being a jerk. He saw that Kat had replied to his post and went back to see how she reacted.
“Oh don’t worry. I’m not even looking for a man right now. I’m divorced, I have a great job, I have three wonderful children and I’m happy. BTW welcome to the board. It’s nice to have a romantic back here posting again since stupid Ang scared off the last three!” He smiled. It was nice to be called a romantic again. Jan hadn’t considered him romantic for some time. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have it in him but like he said, the spark, the impulse had to be there. And quite frankly, it had taken a vacation from their relationship and never returned. He signed off the computer, slipped on a denim jacket and went for a walk.

Time in the studio was coming along well for Josh. He used his recent breakup with Jan to pour his heart and soul into the music. He finished six full songs before the end of August. He spent a lot of time on his computer when he was at home, updating his website and chatting back and forth with the nicer people on the message board. He was anxious to see if Kat had replied to a post he’d just made about different styles of romance, he wanted to see how many ideas the other posters could come up with on how to romance their mates. He started out the thread by describing how he would spread rose petals at the front door and leave a trail towards the bedroom where rose petals would be scattered on the bed and the room would be glowing with scented candle light and soft music creating mood in the background, two glasses of champagne waiting on the nightstand. It was the most romantic thing he could come up with. He had tried it once with Jan but she had been called away at the last minute and he was stuck cleaning up thousands of petals and blowing out candles all over the condo. Not to mention he drank champagne until he couldn’t stand up! He lived to try it again on a more appreciative woman. He saw that there were 20 replies. Kat was the first to respond. She told him that was fabulous and then mentioned the proverbial walk along the beach at sunset. He smiled, ‘nice.’ He thought to himself. Then there were the love notes, flowers delivered to both men and women, romantic movies, and sexy phone calls. Then there was a reply from the jerk who’d harassed Kat in the past and was apparently up to old tricks. He told her that once a guy married a woman it was up to her to keep the fires going by wearing slut clothes and high heeled shoes. Josh frowned. He’d had about enough of this guy. Josh replied, “So how old are you and what century are you from? Romance goes both ways, this is the 21st century old man, get with the program!” Satisfied with what he thought was putting the chauvinist in his place, Josh went on to reading other posts. He noticed that the man who had labeled himself as “AlphaMale” had replied. He opened the thread and read, “Listen, asshat, I don’t know about you but I wear the dick in the relationship. Apparently you have more female hormones then male …” Josh gritted his teeth and growled at the screen. He clicked the reply button. “Ass hat? And what would that be Mr. A Male? Something you wear on YOUR head? Because your head is starting to look like your ass to me. I sure hope you don’t have a wife or a girlfriend because I would feel genuinely sorry for them if you did. Most likely you don’t …” He submitted his reply and then clicked on Kat’s profile. He smiled when he read what she’d written about herself. There was a tiny picture of her smiling brightly along with three other smaller heads, also smiling. She stated she was from Ohio and that she was single and not looking. She liked classical music, home decorating, and anything else that had to do with spending time with her kids. She was an absolutely, genuinely nice person and he loved that about her. He sent her a private message. “What is up with that guy? What a total nerdbag. I don’t know about you but I’m sick of reading the garbage he writes. So how are you?” He sent it and then signed off the computer.
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My December