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When angels cry blood	By : heavenleigh Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1550 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-When angels cry blood
- 1
This fiction is thanks to Kasey who gave me the idea and asked me to write a fiction about it. so just to be clear: she owns the idea, I own the fiction and Bam and Ville own themselves (unfortunately!)

Ville pushed open the door and walked into Bam's room, his suspicions confirmed as he spotted the skater curled up on the floor bruised and bleeding. He fought down his anger, knowing that it wouldn't help Bam if he lost his temper, and instead focused on helping his friend.

**My friend. That's all he'll ever be. It's not fair, he deserves so much better, I could love him if he'd let me, but instead he chooses to love that bastard who makes him believe he deserves this.**

He moved over to Bam, careful not to touch him, as he remembered how scared Bam had been the first time Ville had found him like this.

"Bam darling, it's Ville, I'm gonna help you up so I can try to clean some of the wounds, ok?"

There was a slight nodding motion from the man on the floor, so Ville put his arm around him, trying not to cause him any more pain, and helped him over to the bed. He went and got the first aid kit, a cloth and a bowl of water before going back in to the bedroom, his heart breaking at the sight.

Bam was still sitting in the same position he had been in when Ville left, his eyes looking at the floor with silent tears running down his face. He wasn't the same fun loving, insanely happy daredevil that Ville had met and fallen in love with. In the six months he had been with Todd, he had become pale with dark circles under his eyes and way too skinny. He never left the house, and had given up his job so he wouldn't have to see anyone.

It made Ville want to scream, to cry, to vent his anger on anything that happened to be around, but he couldn't. He had to play the part of the best friend and be there for him, a shoulder to cry on if needed but not to intefere. So it was with tears in his eyes he went to, yet again, tend to his friend.

Ville slowly and carefully stripped Bam down to his boxers, too upset and angry about what had happened to even care that the man he was in love with, was in front of him wearing almost nothing. He washed Bam's cuts, wincing as the water in the bowl slowly turned pink from Bam's blood, bandaging the worst ones and making an icepack with a towel and ice cubes from the mini bar for Bam's black eye and swollen lip.

It had become a morbid routine for him now, every week, sometimes more than once, he would go to check on Bam to find him beaten and left to clean himself up. Ville moved onto the bed next to Bam and held the smaller man in his arms.

"Why don't you leave him Bam?"

"He loves me." Bam said in a choked voice "He says he's sorry and that he loves me. It's my fault, I make him angry."

"What are you supposed to have done this time?" asked Ville, allowing a little of his repressed anger to show. He was getting fed up of hearing Bam make excuses for his boyfriend and he was also tired of hearing the stupid little things that Bam was supposed to have done to deserve getting beaten unconcious.

"He saw me talking to Ryan Dunn. He thought I was flirting and he got jealous. I tried telling him I wasn't but he wouldn't believe me."

"Ok, why don't we go downstairs and get something to eat and drink, then we can go to the hotel I'm staying in so you're not here when he comes round again."

"I'm not hungry and I need to be here when he comes round or he'll be angry."

"Bam, you need to eat something, you're too thin, you're going to get ill."

"No I'm not. Todd says I'm fat, I need to lose some weight or he won't want me any more."

Ville couldn't handle listening to any more and got up off the bed.

"Come on, let's go see the guys."

Bam followed him down the stairs but stopped at the front door.

"I'm not going with you. Tell the guys I said hi though."

"Bam, come on. You need to leave the house eventually, the guys really miss you, and you need to be out of here when he comes back to see you."

"You have to go Ville, he'll be back soon, he always comes back to apologize. I don't want him to think that I was flirting with you as well."

Seeing that there was no way Bam would go with him- apart from kidnapping him, Ville left, hating himself more and more every step he took.

**Why did I leave? I should have stayed, I should have made him come with me** a little voice in his head said. **But if I did and his boyfriend had found us, Bam would have gotten even more hurt** another part of his brain piped up.

Dejected, Ville walked back to his hotel, letting his tears for Bam fall.

A month later, H.I.M were completing their tour with a final gig in London. Ville had tried calling Bam several times during the day but after recieving no answer, was beginning to get worried. After the gig, Ville went back to the hotel and entered his room, just as his phone started to ring. Thinking it was Bam, he raced across the room only to find that he didn't recognize the number on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Valo?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"Oh hello. I'm nurse Addams from WestChester General hospital, we have Brandon Margera here and you were the person he wanted to be informed."

"Oh god, is he ok? What happened?"

"I can't really tell you anything over the phone sir, I'm sorry but it's hospital rules."

"Ok, can you tell him that I'm in London but I'm going to get the first available flight out and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Certainly sir, I'll let him know straight away."

Ville hung up the phone and started throwing things in a suitcase as quickly as he could while phoning down to the lobby to get them to book the first flight to America available.

Ville arrived at the hospital the next afternoon after managing to get a cancelled seat on a late flight the night before. He'd told the band what had happened and they had agreed that Ville should take some time out to see Bam and help him recover after the ordeal.

A nurse took Ville to Bam's hospital room, explaining that Bam had been found by a friend, unconcious and badly beaten. She left Ville standing outside the door wondering what to expect on the other side.

He walked in the door and had to fight every fibre in his body to stop himself turning round and walking back out. Bam looked like a corpse. His skin was pale, almost translucent and ugly purple and black bruises marred his face and arms. The imprint of a pair of hands were on Bam's neck as if someone had tried to strangle him but it was the broken, defeated look on Bam's face that was the worst injury as far as Ville was concerned. The physical wounds would heal and disappear but the mental and emotional wounds might affect him for the rest of his life.

He sat down in the seat next to the bed and, not wanting to wake the sleeping skater, just sat quietly trying to take in the sight before him.

"You came." The statement was quiet, broken and unexpected. Ville jumped upon hearing the voice and looked up into Bam's usually lively blue eyes.

"Of course I came. I'm sorry I took so long but I had to wait for a flight, but I came straight here from the airport."

"You didn't need to come straight away. You should go and get some rest."

"Bam, I'm not leaving this hospital until you do. What happened anyway? the nurse said a friend found you alone and badly hurt."

"I found out that Todd had been seeing someone else and I told him that I was going to leave him. He went mad at me and tried to strangle me. I'm so sorry Ville." Bam was fighting tears and Ville was close to joining him.

"What are you sorry for Bam? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't listen to you when you told me to leave him. I don't want to see him again but I'm scared. If I leave him then I won't have anyone. No one will want me, I don't want to be alone Ville.

"You're not going to be alone darling, you have me and the rest of H.I.M. We'll always be there for you, you know that."

"I'm allowed out tomorrow, but I don't want to go back home, he'll come back for me."

"They're letting you out tomorrow? But you've only been in here 2 days."

"Actually, I've been in here 2 weeks. Ape knows but I asked her not to say anything to you until I was ready."

Ville sat, stunned at the new information, a hurt look on his handsome features.

"Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"I was scared you wouldn't come. I mean, you told me so many times to leave him and that he would hurt me again and I didn't listen to you, I told you to butt out. I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't shown up."

"I can't believe you really thought I wouldn't show, I love you Bam."

A strange look quickly crossed over Bam's face and Ville quickly covered his feelings by continuing "you're my best friend, I'm not gonna leave you alone like this. Look, my new apartment has just finished being furnished and it's not that far from here so why don't you come and live with me for a few months? At least until you feel better."

"Live with you? I thought you were going back to London to finish your tour."

"The tours over. Last night was the final gig. We have 2 months off before we have to get back into the recording studio and the band said if I need more time off we can push the studio time back so I have a couple more months to spend with you... I mean... helping you get better."

Ville blushed as he realized what he'd just said. **I'm sick. He looks almost dead and I'm still thinking about what it would be like to sleep with him. I need professional help.**

Bam seemed oblivious to Ville's accidental confession and embarassment as he thought about the singers offer.

"I'd like that, thanks Ville."

Ville stayed the night at the hospital despite Bam's protests that he should go home, and the next day they got a cab from the hospital, thankful that, because of quitting his job, there were no press people there.

Ville asked the driver to wait while he led Bam inside.

"Ok, stay here for a bit. You'll be safe here by yourself, just while I go to your house and get you some stuff you'll need. Is there anything you want?"

"Yeah, there's a box under my bed, could you bring it for me? Don't open it, it's personal."

"Ok, no problem, I'll see you soon. If you think of something else or if there's a problem just ring me."

Ville let himself into Bam's house with the key he'd taken and filled a bag with things he thought Bam would need. He found the box where Bam had said it would be and also found some of Bam's skateboards. He took Bam's favourite one with him in the hopes it would encourage Bam to start skating again.

He got home to find Bam curled up in a chair staring blankly at the wall. Ville made some soup - well, heated up the contents of the can anyway, and took it through to Bam.

"Here you go darling, I thought you could use something to eat."

Bam just looked at the bowl and shook his head.

"Bam, you need to eat something, this isn't healthy and you're so thin it's starting to scare me. Please eat something."

Ville's voice cracked with the desperation that he felt watching his friend slowly waste away, and Bam noticed. He picked up the spoon and slowly started to eat, feeling an odd sense of pride as he saw Ville smile at him.

After Bam had finished, Ville showed him up to his room knowing that it was late and he must be feeling tired after all he'd been through.

Ville sighed as he got into bed and the exhaustion hit him. He hated this. He hated seeing Bam so hurt and vulnerable and he hated being so in love with him he could barely think around him, yet not able to tell him how he felt.

He fell asleep to dreams where Bam was ok and loved him as much as he loved his insane little skater but was woken up to reality by a hand gently shaking him.

"I can't sleep Ville, every time I close my eyes I see him." Bam whispered. "I'm sorry I woke you, It was a stupid idea, I'll go back to my room."

Ville pulled back the covers on his bed, thankful that he had decided to sleep in boxer shorts that night. "Come on, sweetheart. You can sleep in here with me, don't worry"

Bam got in and curled up into Ville's waiting arms, falling asleep almost imediately. Unable to stop himself, Ville placed a soft kiss to the sleeping mans lips, wishing with all his heart that this wasn't how Bam had ended up in his bed.

Ville was woken again a few hours later to the sounds of sobbing and screams of pain. He sat up and switched on the bedside lamp, seeing Bam in the middle of a nightmare.

"NO, please don't.... I'm sorry.... please, Todd stop it."

Ville started shaking Bam gently, desperately trying to wake him up. "Bam, it's Ville, c'mon it's just a dream, it's not real. Come back to me Bam, you're ok, you're safe now." Ville kept whispering words of reassurance to him even as Bam woke up and clung to him allowing the tears he'd kept inside to fall.

Eventually Bam cried himself to sleep, but Ville stayed awake watching Bam, wanting to protect him from all the pain, even if it was in his mind.

The next few months were a blur. Ville had called the band regularly and requested that they take a year out from the music industary so he could help Bam completely recover which they had agreed to but Ville was still writing and had almost enough songs for two full albums.

Bam's wounds had healed and he had started smiling a little. Ville had been working hard to convince Bam to eat and it was starting to pay off. Bam was almost looking like his old self but he still suffered from nightmares occasionally and still hadn't skated though Ville tried hard to get him back on his board.

Ville had been finding it harder and harder to control himself around Bam as the American started to become the man he'd fallen in love with. So when Bam came down to the kitchen one morning and threw his arms around ville, hugging him tightly, it was all Ville could do not to throw him down on the table and fuck him senseless.

"What was that for?" Ville asked, trying to move away from Bam without being obvious while trying to hide the hard on that having Bam pressed up against him had created.

"It's friday." Bam said simply.

"Yeah and...? It was friday last week but you didn't hug me then." Ville pointed out

"It's been a week since I last had a nightmare." Bam said quietly.

Ville smiled. "Well, I think we should celebrate then. Why don't we do something tonight? Your choice. Anywhere you want to go."

"I don't want to go out."

"You've been going out, recently. I thought you were getting a little better."

"I am, really. What I meant was, I'd really like it if we could just hang out here. You know, order chinese or pizza and hang out and watch films.... if you don't mind."

"Of course. I've got to go into town today anyway so tell me what film you want and I'll pick it up from the rental store on my way home."

Ville walked into the video store and looked around for 'The nightmare before christmas' and the new version of 'Charlie and the chocolate factory' which Bam hadn't seen but had been whining about wanting to watch for ages.

Ville arrived home and went straight into Bam's room to let him know he was home.

"Bam darling, I got the..." Ville stopped. Bam wasn't there, but the box Bam had asked Ville to get when he moved in was open on the bed and a book was open in front of it.

Ville went to the window and looked out to see Bam sitting by the pool. As he started to walk back across the room to leave, he saw his name in the book. Curious, he stopped to look.

**Bam keeps a diary? I never thought he'd be the type.** although he knew he should just leave, he couldn't help but wonder what Bam had written about him. Picking up the diary he moved so he could see Bam in case he came inside, but Bam couldn't see him. It was obvious Bam had just written in it.

'Dear diary, (god, writing this NEVER makes it sound any manlier)

It's been a week without nightmares- a full week!!! I think I'm starting to get over him, slowly. It's all thanks to Ville. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him, he's been so sweet to me. I wish he knew how much I love him. My nightmares are starting to be replaced with dreams of Ville again but it makes it so hard for me to be around him without wanting to kiss him.'

Ville nearly dropped the diary in shock. Bam loved him? Since when? He flicked backwards through the diary finding his name mentioned almost every day and finding out that Bam had been in love with him for a very long time, even while he was with Todd - even before Todd.

One entry in particular made him stop. Bam had told him once that he never remembered his dreams but this entry was documenting one.

'Dear diary, I had a dream last night. It was so real, I woke up and expected it to have happened but once again I was disappointed. I'm going to write this dream down as I never want to forget it, it's the closest I'll ever get to reality.
I'm laying on my bed jacking off (to thoughts of Ville as usual) and he walks in just as I'm moaning his name. I get embarrassed and try to cover myself up but he walks over and wraps his hand around my cock, stroking me til I cum. I start to say something but he cuts me off with a searing kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth until I think I might die from lack of oxygen but still not willing to pull away. He tells me that he loves me, that he's always wanted me in that beautiful husky voice, before removing his clothes and straddling my face, telling me to suck him. I know that he's going to use my saliva as lube so he can fuck me, so I wrap my lips around his gorgeous cock and try my hardest to give him as much pleasure as possible. He pulls away just before he cums, making me whimper, I want to taste him so much, what I had wasn't enough, but he reassures me that I can taste him as much as I like later. He slides his large cock inside me and it hurts a little but I don't care because it's him. He's gentle but rough at the same time and I feel so complete as he cums inside me, his almost angelic face contorted in pleasure. Just seeing him like this sends me into my own orgasm, shocked as I realize that he didn't even need to touch my cock. We lay next to each other, just kissing and holding each other as I realize that the beautiful god next to me actually wants me.'

The entry ended there, and Ville was thankful for it. If he'd have read any more, there was a good chance he'd end up cumming in his pants. He put the diary back where he found it and walked to his own room where he quickly dealt with his errection, the words of Bam's diary entry engraved in his mind.

He went downstairs and out to the pool where Bam was still sitting, idly making ripples in the water with his bare feet. Ville focused for a moment on not letting his voice crack or his body betray what he was feeling, before he announced his presence.

"Hey" he said softly, knowing that Bam was still a little jumpy, especially if someone came up behind him.

"Hi" said Bam, turning around to face the singer. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Why do you have a pool, when you're scared of the water and won't swim?"

"Dunno really. I liked the house and it happened to have a swimming pool. You like to swim though, so you can use it, it's not pointless having it here."

"Did you get 'Charlie and the chocolate factory'?" asked Bam

Ville smiled at the look of hope on Bam's face. "Of course I got it. I would have gone to every rental store in the state to get it for you!"

"Well, lets go and watch it then." Bam jumped to his feet and grabbed Ville's hand, pulling him through to the lounge.

"Ok, you put the dvd in, I'll call for takeaway. Chinese?"

"Yeah, you know what I like."

The chinese arrived quickly and half an hour later they were sitting on the sofa, chinese cartons and beer bottles scattered around them. Johnny Depp had just appeared on screen, clapping at the bizzare puppet show, when Ville heard something he hadn't heard in nearly a year. Bam laughed. A year ago it wouldn't have meant anything, Bam laughed all the time. But now, Ville wanted to hear it again, he wanted to appreciate every time the sound emerged from his lips.

"What?" He hadn't realized he was staring at Bam until then.

"You laughed." he replied lamely, unable to put it into words.

"I'm sorry." Bam said quietly

"NO!, no, don't be sorry. It was a good thing, I haven't heard you laugh in so long, it was nice to hear."

Bam blushed heavily and nodded before returning his attention to the screen. They watched the rest of the movie in silence, broken occasionally by Bam laughing at scenes he found amusing although for most of it, Ville watched Bam instead of the film. By the time it ended Ville had decided that he needed to tell Bam how he felt, even if Bam wasn't ready for another relationship.

"Bam, I need to tell you something. Can we talk?"

"S...sure." replied Bam nervously **Oh god, he's going to throw me out. He doesn't want me living with him any more**

Ville interupted Bam's self inflicted mental torture by seeing what was going on in Bam's head. "It's not something you've done wrong and I don't want you to leave, I know that's what you're thinking."

"What is it then?"

"I went in your room when I got back today to let you know I was home but you weren't there. I saw your diary though." Ville let the implications hang in the air as Bam realized what he was saying.

"Oh god, you read it?"

"Yeah. I know I shouldn't have read your diary and I'm sorry but at least I know how you feel about me now."

"So, what now? Do you hate me?" asked Bam miserably

"I don't hate you Bam, I love you."

"Yeah I know, I'm your best friend, I'm like a brother to you."

"No, I Love You. I've been in love with you for years, I just didn't think you liked men until you came out and said you were gay, but by then you were with To...you were in a relationship."

"It's ok, you can say his name. I got a call from a friend the other day telling me that Todd's in prison, he tried to kill his other boyfriend. I'm glad you helped me get away from him."

Ville leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Bam's. "I love you Bam, and I don't mind waiting if you're not ready. I've waited three years just to kiss you, I can wait for you to be ready."

Bam sat silently for a few minutes and Ville was beginning to think that kissing him hadn't been the best idea until he was caught off guard by Bam capturing his lips with his own, the kiss turning passionate as they both gave in to what they'd always wanted but had been unable to have.

Ville moaned as tentive hands sought out the flesh under his shirt. "Bam, darling, do you want to go further tonight? If you don't, we need to stop now because you're driving me crazy."

"I want to carry on. I trust you, I know you won't hurt me."

Ville got up off the sofa and, taking Bam's hand, he led them upstairs to his room. They lay on the bed kissing, the passion betweent them growing, but as Ville started to lift Bam's shirt, he sensed something was wrong.

"Sweetheart, what's the matter? We can stop if you want."

"You won't want me."

"What? What do you mean?

"You won't want me, not after seeing the scars he left, you'll think I'm ugly."

Ville slowly removed Bam's clothes despite Bam's protests and shame and gently traced some of the more obvious scars before looking him straight in the eyes.

"You're beautiful"

Bam shook his head, tears escaping him even as he tried to fight them.

"You. are. beautiful." each word was punctuated by Ville kissing away a tear as they rolled down Bam's face.

Bam looked up into Ville's eyes and saw the truth and sincerity in them. He leaned up and kissed him, trying to put all his feelings into it. "Fuck me, Ville." he whispered.

"No. I'll make love to you but I'm not going to fuck you. I know that sounds kinda cheesy but it's true. I want to make love to you, will you let me?"

"Yes, please Ville, I want you to."

Ville reached over into the drawer next to his bed and pulled out the lube he always kept there. He prepared Bam, not wanting to cause him any pain.

He pushed in gently, pressing his lips to Bam's in a tender kiss, fighting hard not to lose control as the tight warmth that surrounded him threatened to push him over the edge sooner than he'd like.

Once he'd controlled himself, Ville started a gentle rythm that had Bam whimpering and begging for more. Bam arched his hips and couldn't stop himself from crying out as Ville wrapped his hand around his cock and hit his prostate both at the same time. He was drowning in sensations, the gentleness of it all was new to him but it was turning him on a lot more than Todds unwelcome sexual assaults.

Ville was fighting a losing battle trying to control his thrusts as he got closer to completion. "Don't hold back" Bam panted "I know you won't hurt me" Ville lost himself then, thrusting harder and faster into Bam, stroking the younger man's weeping cock as he brought them both hurtling towards orgasm. He heard Bam scream his name and felt Bam's release cover his chest.

Bam knew what it would take to send Ville over the edge as he had confessed a fetish he had, to him during a drunken evening. He leaned up and kissed Ville's neck before biting down, hard. Ville came with a strangled scream, coating Bam's insides with the sticky fluid. Ville pulled out of Bam and collapsed on the bed, Bam lapping at the wound on his neck like a kitten.

"Are you ok?" Ville asked once he was able to form sentances again.

"I guess." Bam replied unconvincingly

"Did I do something wrong?" Ville asked, panicked in case he had somehow hurt his love.

"No, of course not, that was incredible." Bam said, blushing. "It's just that, I don't know what happens now. Do we forget about it?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I told everyone you were my boyfriend." Ville confessed

"Really?!! you want me to be your boyfriend? are you sure?"

Ville kissed Bam deeply, tongues stroking against each other, neither one wanting to pull away.

"Be my boyfriend Bam, I promise I'll never hurt you."

"I'm already yours Ville, I always have been."

They settled down to sleep, uncaring of the fact that they were both covered in cum, just happy they were together. Just as Ville was drifting off, he was woken by Bam speaking to him.

"You know what?"

"What?" yawned Ville sleepily

"I think I'll go skating tomorrow."

Ville smiled at his new lover and fell asleep with his arms around him.
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When angels cry blood