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Bluefish and Japanese Zombie Hero	By : weelow Category: > Kaoru/Die Views: 1471 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Bluefish and Japanese Zombie Hero
- 1
Disclaimer: All right boys and girls. I don’t own anyone or get any money of this. And this thing – none of it is real. Shit.
Notes: What happens when boys go online?

Bluefish and Japanese Zombie Hero

B.fish is online

B.fish: Hey yo what’s up?
JZombieH: …?
B.fish: ??
JZombieH:.. Die?
B.fish: Yep. didn’t you recognize me from my nick?
JZombieH: Umh no. And have you chanced your e-mail address?
B.fish: I had to. some crazy fan shit flooding my box.
JZombieH: Again?
B.fish: Oh yeah. Tell me about it.
JZombieH: How is that even possible? From where do they dig your address every time?
B.fish: Maybe it’s Kyo or something giving it away as a revenge when I piss him off over the edge.
JZombieH: I can imagine…
B.fish: Hey what’s that supposed to mean? I’m not THAT pain in the ass!
JZombieH: Oh sure you are not. I mean I can imagine Kyo doing that kinda stuff… when he’s pissed.
B.fish: Right…
B.fish: What ever.
B.fish: So anyway how’s Totchi doing? Is Nagano beautiful this time around? Girls all pretty and cheery and wearing their little summer dresses?
JZombieH: Totchi’s fine and so are his parents. His kid sister says hi to you.
B.fish: Kid sis? Which one? The oldest? The one we saw at his place last year?
JZombieH: … yes.
B.fish: OOOOoooo MAN she’s so damn SMEX!
JZombieH: Should I inform you that she’s actually standing in this room, that this is actually HER pc I’m using here?
B.fish: WHAT?
JZombieH: And Totchi’s btw just talking to me.
B.fish: WHAT??
JZombieH: Oh she just asked how are you doing.
B.fish: …….. …. What?
B.fish: Oh man.
B.fish: boy kaoru dear FLOOD hurry hurry!
B.fish: So that thing would go away from the screen!
B.fish: Please!
B.fish: faster
B.fish: blaa blaa
B.fish: obscure
B.fish: umbrella
B.fish: 24ko
B.fish: Shit!
B.fish: Ah… *sigh* Now I can breathe again.
B.fish: Kaoru? What’s this silence? Did you… you didn’t?
JZombieH: Hmm she left the room already. No I didn’t say anything.
B.fish: GOOD. You like to torture me whenever you can ne?
JZombieH: Yes. I enjoy it.
B.fish: You little… You are so little!
JZombieH: HEY!!!… How would you even know?
B.fish: Oh I know. I’m much bigger.
JZombieH: That’s all talk.
B.fish: Actually no. One time when all the others were passed out and Shinya (obviously) wasn’t there we talked about the matter with Kyo. And we realized we have to compare to get things in order.
JZombieH: You what you??
B.fish: So well.. we just little peeked. Just a little.
JZombieH: You GOT to be kidding me!
B.fish: Noup :) Sorry to say this but I’m not and really Kao I have much bigger than you.
JZombieH: …
JZombieH: How much bigger?
B.fish: At least an inch.
JZombieH: Fuck off Die NO WAY!
B.fish: Well 2 and half centimetres then AT LEAST!
JZombieH: That’s the same fucking thing in practise!
B.fish: Oh please. This ain’t going anywhere. If you don’t believe me you just have to see it for yourself.
JZombieH: Well… FUCK YEAH I have to!! ‘Cause that’s just bullshit you’re giving me.
B.fish: Fine.
JZombieH: FINE!
JZombieH: And HEY I was totally unaware of this peeking thing so of course I wasn’t prepaired to be measured! You of course were all exited and that way gained centimetres!
B.fish: You fucking mean I got all excited because of peeking you and Totchi and I and Kyo were standing our bare dicks hanging around?
JZombieH: ……………. ……well…..yes!
B.fish: That’s just…
JZombieH: Yes?
B.fish: Let’s change the subject.
JZombieH: Fuck no!
B.fish: Oh yes.
JZombieH: Chicken shit.
B.fish: ---
JZombieH: Hey… So you checked all of us but Shinya?
B.fish: Yeah.
JZombieH: So… What’s the order? You are the “so-called” biggest of us?
B.fish: Umh… I’d like to say so but.. no.
JZombieH: Whaa?
JZombieH: Who’s bigger? Kyo?!
B.fish: Yes.
JZombieH: That short fellow… I can’t believe it. He must have done something to his own before the measuring.
B.fish: Well I don’t know anything about that but he’s bigger. But Toshiya’s actually the biggest of us.
JZombieH: Totchi?
B.fish: Duuh… of course there’s Shinya somewhere between.. gotta find out some day.
JZombieH: So wait a minute. You’re saying I’M the SMALLEST of us?
B.fish: Well in length at least.
JZombieH: No…no.
B.fish: C’mon. The size doesn’t matter. And well… you lost some centimetres because your thing is… well you know… little bent.
JZombieH: You looked THAT close?
B.fish: No Kaoru it’s okay. It’s very exotic you know. Girls like that shit. They do!
JZombieH: Please don’t. I’m already traumatized enough because of my member.
B.fish: I think it didn’t look that bad at all. It’s okay otherwise. And you know what?
JZombieH: ...what?
B.fish: Maybe it feels better if it’s little bent.
JZombieH: I CAN’T BELIEVE WE ARE ACTUALLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!!!!
B.fish: No no I wanna hear. What have your bed partners told you about it?
JZombieH: I’m so NOT telling you!
B.fish: Why not?
JZombieH: Because… that’s something between ME and MY bed buddies!
B.fish: So you’re saying I have to get between your sheets before I get to know how it feels?
JZombieH: DIE! …. !!!!
B.fish: Yes?
JZombieH: You... YOu!
B.fish: Ah yes Kaoru. It’s still me here. You there?
JZombieH: sizedoesntmattersizedoesntmattersizedoesntmatter. And now I’m totally chancing the subject here.
B.fish: Size DOESN’T matter.
JZombieH: How can you tell? No wait – do I actually even want to know?
B.fish: Well if you’re uke it doesn’t matter.
JZombieH: Uke?
JZombieH: You’ve been uke?
JZombieH: … you’ve been with a man?
B.fish: Umh you really can be uke in an ‘ordinary’ female-male relationship also but if you need to know then yes. I’ve been with man. As uke and seme. Many times and in several different positions.
JZombieH: That’s… something I didn’t know.
B.fish: Sure you did.
JZombieH: Well… I had a hunch.
B.fish: Do you see. I’m more than capable to tell if size matters or not.
JZombieH: And you’re saying it doesn’t?
B.fish: Believe: it really doesn’t. If you aren’t taking care of your partner – now that matters!
JZombieH: Hm… ok. So I believe I’m safe then.
B.fish: You sure?
JZombieH: Pretty sure and confident.
B.fish: …. :D
JZombieH: What?
B.fish: I SO wanna experience that bent thingy of yours now.
JZombieH: Die! We were supposed to drop that subject!
B.fish: pweeease? I’m booking the next flight there.
JZombieH: No you’re not!
B.fish: Why not???
JZombieH: Do you expect you’re free to jump to my bed when ever YOU feel like it?
B.fish: Oh you mean I have to deserve my place there before I can do that? That’s ok. I’ll be repaired.
JZombieH: No Die we can’t so that. We’re band mates! Of course we can’t!
B.fish: No – of course we CAN because we’re band mates. It’s a natural thing to do. Think about it as a scientific research all in the name of the education.
JZombieH: Who’s having education here?
B.fish: well I get to know how bent-thingy feels like, you get to know how your bent-thingy feels like AND we get to finally compare our things so you can see that I AM bigger.
JZombieH: But if size doesn’t matter why are we talking about this?
B.fish: Wee it’s about your manhood for god’s sake Kaoru. And we’re men so of course we’re having this con-versation.
JZombieH: Ok but I already know how my thingy feels like and we can compare without hopping to bed to-gether.
B.fish: But I DON’T KNOW!!!!
JZombieH: So I’ll just inform you then gee Die!
B.fish: … I’m waiting.
JZombieH: Well they usually use words like: ‘marvellous’ or ‘mind-blowing’ or my favourite ‘let’s do it again’.
B.fish: Of course I should have expect something like this. No Kao I think I have to come and make sure myself.
JZombieH: That’s what they’ve said!
B.fish: yeah yeah. And when I come I’ll make sure I deserve my place in your bedroom. And hey you’re going to get from experienced AND big fellow so you should be thankful. Not too many guys get to know gay love with my kind of good guide.
JZombieH: … Die.
JZombieH: Is this just a joke?
JZombieH: I feel like this is going a WAY beyond the limits of just making fun.
B.fish: …
JZombieH: Die?
JZombieH: Hello die?

B.fish is offline

JZombieH: man…
- 1
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Bluefish and Japanese Zombie Hero