Cyber Love

It is funny how things come full circle in life. Someone who you thought would remain a friend in cyberspace becomes more to you than you choose to admit. I knew he was committed to someone else. I gave him advice when he asked and he never knew that deep inside it killed me how he worshipped her. I wanted to be worshipped by him. I wanted to hear him tell me that he loved me. I knew that are relationship was purely a cyberspace friendship and I accepted that. I made sure that I was always there for him.

1107pm:
WILLBABY: RU there? I need you right now.
MISTRESSKAT: I am here sweetie. What is wrong?
WILLBABY: She left … She fucking left! Didn’t even have the nerve to tell me in person…sent her people to talk to my people.
MISTRESSKAT: I am so sorry sweetie. I wish I was there to hug you.
WILLBABY: I wish you were here also. You wouldn’t have done that to me. You are the only one I can trust my heart with. When can we meet???
MISTRESSKAT: We talked about this sweetie … Reality and Fantasy should not mix. I am there for you on the internet but I would not fit in your Hollywood world.
WILLBABY: What if I made a place for you? It could work Kat!
MISTRESSKAT: I am also not going to be your rebound fuck, Will.
WILLBABY: You know it would not be like that. I thought you knew me better than that.
MISTRESSKAT: I think you need to have some time to yourself. Learn about Will. I will be there along the way … routing you on!
WILLBABY: Ok. I better get some rest my Kat. I will talk to you later. Think about me.
MISTRESSKAT: I always do my Will. I always do.

That is how all our conversations went … I would talk him down from some disaster in his life and he would beg to meet me. It is not that I did not want to meet him … throw my arms around his neck. It was always a battle inside my heart. I wanted to be by his side, but the truth was I did not fit in. I was an assistant at a large advertising company. I quietly lived at home with my cat, Pee Wee. I did own glamorous gowns or attend Hollywood parties. I would not fit in his world.

130 am:
WILLBABY: Why are you still up my sweet Kat?
MISTRESSKAT: I could ask you the same.
WILLBABY: I could not sleep … too much on my mind. Why can’t you sleep?
MISTRESSKAT: Worrying about you.
WILLBABY: AHHHH … I like that you worry about me.
MISTRESSKAT: You do?
WILLBABY: Yes. It makes me happy to know someone in the world cares for the real me and not who I play.
MISTRESSKAT: I was thinking about coming up to LA for the weekend. Disney is calling my name.
WILLBABY: I WILL BE IN LA ON SATURDAY! Please meet up with me. I want to meet you in the flesh.
MISTRESSKAT: We will see my silly pirate.
WILLBABY: PLEASE!!!
MISTRESSKAT: Don’t beg … it is unbecoming a hero! Sweet dreams my prince.
WILLBABY: Go to sleep this time love. Kiss Pee Wee.
MISTRESSKAT: I will. All my love.

I finally signed off my computer. I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. Disney World sounded like lots of fun. Just be a kid for a day. I wasn’t sure if I would go see him. I usually got close enough to see him from a distance and then ran away. Why was I so scared of him? We were friends … nothing more. Or were we???