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[Insert Seduction Technique Here]	By : viva Category: Individual Celebrities > Jensen Ackles Views: 3180 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Jensen Ackles. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-[Insert Seduction Technique Here]
- 1
Fandom: RPS
Title: [insert seduction technique here]
Author: masterofmercury
Pairing: Jsquared
Rating: PG-13
Warning: language, caveman acts (not that it's a bad thing...)
Summary: My tribute to oblivious!Jenny and trying-to-be-seductive-but-fail-spectacularly!Jared, which should see the light of day more often...
Disclaimer: You know I'll die happy if they actually did it.
A/N: for irana's seduction challenge.
Thank you, spiritofkt and autumnfades, for being wonderful betas and furor_scribiend for stopping me from bursting my blood vessels. ♥

Seriously, this shit has got to stop. Or start making sense. Whichever is fine, really, because it's getting weirder and weirder around here, Jensen thinks, squirming in his seat as Jared pours yet another round of Sauternes for both of them. Jared's teeth flash white in the dim light, making him look disturbingly like the Cheshire Cat. They are having dinner together, or at least Jensen is trying to eat, while Jared only stares at him.

He didn't know what to think when Jared offered his most expensive wine (white wine, Jensen's mind supplies, for dessert) to go with the pepperoni pizza Jensen brought for their usual hangout time in front of the TV. And did he mention that there are candles every-fucking-where and, honest to god, red and white roses in the vase?

"What the hell, man? Just spit it out already, Jared. You're being extremely creepy," Jensen says, scooting back into his side of the couch when Jared grants him with another blinding smile. "And what's with all these candles?"

"See, Jen," Jared replies, "I just like seeing you in the candlelight. Your skin is, like...golden."

Jensen thinks Jared needs to stop drinking, like, NOW.

"Oookay," he says slowly, eyeing the wine bottle suspiciously. Judging by the rate of Jared's intoxication, it might just be Dionysus himself that put something in that damn wine.

"Have I told you that I like your voice when you drawl?" Jared asks, his eyes twinkling madly. It makes Jensen want to crawl into some place safe and hide until this madness is over.

Christ. He can't take it anymore.

"Jared, if this is a prank of sort..." he trails off, allowing Jared to deny or accept the half spoken question. It never comes. What comes instead is Jared's exasperated sigh.

"Damn it, Jensen, work with me here, will ya?"

Jensen blinks.

"What the fuck do you need me to work with? I mean, what's going on, Jay?" Jensen thinks about just giving up on trying to understand Jared’s weird behavior, but then Jared is moving so fast into Jensen's personal space and leans in even more. His eyes glint with something that makes Jensen's face feel hot. He thinks about moving back and away from Jared when, as if he knows what Jensen's thinking, Jared pins his hands to the couch.

"Err…dude, I would appreciate it if you move back a lil' bit," Jensen says, cautiously balancing the glass (a tumbler, actually, his mind chirps up again) in his trapped hand. He feels the wetness seep through his pants when some of the wine spills onto his lap.

For a minute, Jared only gapes, and then sighs heavily.

Jensen watches in bewilderment as Jared backs away, throws his hands up, and mumbles something uncomplimentary to the ceiling. He thinks Jared is losing it.

Whatever. Jensen now needs a change of clothes; it's getting really sticky in unmentionable places.

"Since this is your fault, care to lend me some clothes?" he asks, gesturing at the vicinity of his soaked crotch, and has to swallow thickly when Jared's eyes snap and glue to the wet spot.

Jensen could swear that the wine is evaporating under the intense gaze. Hell, he feels his cock might evaporate too, just from the look alone.

And speaking of cocks...

Uh-oh, Jensen thinks, biting his lip to keep from humiliating himself even more. Then Jared licks his lips, and Jensen's blood gleefully shifts down to where it shouldn't be because this is fucking Jared, and Jared is--

Even before Jensen finishes his self reprimand, Jared is on him again, hands and lips flying everywhere at once. Jensen cannot decide whether he is petrified or turned on by this sudden attack, but he doesn’t try at all to put off Jared's attempt at…something.

"Seduction my ass," Jared is mumbling, efficiently stripping Jensen of his shirt, "Wine and dine? Bullshit. I'm never, ever, going to listen to you again, Jeff…"

Oh.

"Um…" mutters Jensen, eloquently, eyes following his pants that Jared is pulling off of him. Seduction?

Jensen's gasps turn into squeaks when Jared simply slips his hand inside Jensen's boxers and rubs, hard. Jensen Jr. perks up instantly.

"Caveman seduction technique works like a charm on you, doesn't it, Jenny?" Jared purrs and grinds his hip to Jensen's thigh. Jensen thinks he might have replied with something intelligible but then again, he wouldn't know. When you have six feet something of a hot, delectable co-star humping you, your brain isn't something you can depend on at that moment.

"Is this working?" Jared growls and Jensen maybe nods or something because the next thing he knows, Jared is dragging him to the bedroom. All the while, Jared is mumbling something about clueless-ness and wasting Very Expensive wine over an oblivious ass when he should just tackle said oblivious ass to the ground and clue him in six ways to Monday. And Jesus Christ will Jensen ever learn that being randomly groped all over the fucking place for the last six months means something more than friendly touches?

Oops? Jensen thinks, as Jared's weight presses him into the bed. Then his brain completely shuts down.

End
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