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Things I'll Never Say	By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1916 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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This was originally going to be a oneshot, and it might still be, unless I get some words telling me it could be more. I actually have a pretty good storyline to use mwah!
(Don't own don't sue, unless you want a mess in a box sent home to you...)
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Sometimes I didn't know what was worse. Ignoring him, and seeing how upset it made him… or spending so much time with him that it hurt inside.

I tried spending time with him, without getting to close, but that was hard too. We're brothers, we've always been close. Him with his arm around my slim shoulder, or me running my hand through his raven hair.

He thinks that he's not beautiful. He really does. When we go clothes shopping together he always complains about his looks, about his thighs and about everything else.
I try to tell him that he's not fat, that he's beautiful. But I can't say that, can I?
If I did I'm so scared that he'll know. He'll somehow realize that I…

No…

The day started like every other day. With me lying in the room we both share, listening to his steady breathing. Somehow I always woke up before him, I don't know why…
I loved lying there just listening to the sweet noise he's making.
I lifted my head up to steal a peek of his beautiful face, but all I could see was his hair sticking up from the bed sheets. I snickered as he makes a grunting sound in his sleep and as he rolled over, almost falling to the floor.
I sat up and put my glasses on as I ran a hand through my short, brown hair.

I looked around our room, my side being kind of clean, and his side being a complete mess.
There where books shattered everywhere, along with cigarette packs and beer bottles. I sighed as I looked at the pictures of the two of us on his wall. In some we're only kids, but in some we're as we are now. Him 19 and me 16. I loved the way he has his arm around me in some of the pictures, and the way he smiles. God I love his smile.

Without me noticing he sneaked up to the side of my bed, and when he sat down I couldn't help it. It scared me to have him so close. I gave out a low shriek as I fell to the floor.
He laughed as he brushed some of that lovely hair out of his face.

"Need help baby-brother?" He asked in a mocking voice. I didn't reply, I just sat up and shook my head, suddenly making a decision.
I've been in love with my brother, my BROTHER, for almost three years.
I have to tell him, even if it means he'll hate me for the rest of our lives. I just have to tell him. At least then he'll know why I find it so hard talking to him, or looking at him sometimes.

He gave me a weird look when I didn't reply, then he just sighed and shuffled around in my bed. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, and God how it hurts to see him like that.
"Mikers what's up?" He said as he lied down on my bed, moving one of the pillows so he could lie comfortably on his side and look at me sitting on the floor.
I swallowed and looked away from him. "N-nothing…" I said quietly. I wanted to tell him, but how?
I couldn't see it, but I knew he was frowning. "Mikey, something's wrong, why won't you look at me?" He asked sternly, I know he was loosing his patience, but this is hard.
I took a deep breath before looking at him again.

"Gerard, if I tell you, do you promise you won't…" I trailed off, knowing that I can't make him promise that. Of course he'll hate me; I can't blame him for that.
"Mikey, just tell me, I won't judge, no matter what it is… okay babe?" He says picking at the arm of my t-shirt. I sighed and nodded, loving the fact that his soft fingers were gracing my arm.

"Gerard… I think I'm in love… with you."

There it was, I said it. I'm a FREAK that doesn't deserve to live. Now I just wait for him to push me to the floor. To spit at me and scream that I disgust him. I mean it's incest for crying out loud, it's against the law…

I didn't dare look at him; I was just waiting for him to hate me, to push me away.

After a few seconds of me looking away I felt the arm that was stroking my arm move down to my hand, holding it softly. I finally turned around to look at him, tears prickling the back of my eyes.

"Mikey, smile for me…" He said before kissing me.
I thought I was going to faint from the feeling of his lips against mine.
After a few seconds he broke it off, one of his smooth hands resting on my shoulder. I opened my eyes, only to find his eyes staring back at me.

"Smile…" He whispered again, actually causing me to smile. How could I not?
"But this is-" "Wrong?" He cut me off and I nodded as a reply.
He looked up at the roof for a few seconds before looking back at me. He crawled out of the messy bed down to the wooden floor where I was sitting.
"I love you." He whispered as he let his hands rest on my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye. "I don't care if this is wrong, or incest… I love you." He said again, not taking his eyes away from me. I nodded again as he leaned in to kiss me.
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Things I'll Never Say