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Brave New World	By : Vally Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1639 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: Ok, this is just a crack load of fun and I will not guarantee the number or timing of future chapters!! So yeah… When they come to me I’ll post ‘em but this isn’t a #1 priority.
Also, translations are at the bottom!! Happy reading!!!

Warnings: VAM, SLASH, Violence, cursing, ooc-ness, Humor, crossover
Full Summery: Ville and Bam are minding their own business being awesome when their world gets thrown for a loop. More or less literally! VAM! *Crossover!!X-men Evolution*
The X mansion is turned upside down when two strangers from another dimension are dropped into their laps. Bam Margera, a famous prankster and skater, and Ville Valo, Finnish singer and front man of a band call HIM. God help them! VAM
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the X-men or Ville Valo or Bam Margera. I make zero cash on this so keep the lawyers and such at bay! I am but a poor college student have mercy on my abused, EasyMac(which is also copyrighted and not mine) nourished frame!!!!

Archiving: If you would like to add my work to your own site please send me an Email. Or if you have a suggestion of another good place for me to post send me a link. ^^

Brave New World
And the strange things within it…..

Light and pain. Pain and light. Nope, the order he thought about them in didn’t matter, everything still hurt. These were Bam Marger’s current thoughts as he mustered up the strength to sit up and open his eyes. Not necessarily in that order. He had been minding his own business for fucks sake, rocking out with Ville during the impromptu concert his lover had decided to give at the skating demo he had staged at Castle Bam when some weird, creepy looking glowing guy appeared out of nowhere. He had crashed down out of the sky onto Bam and Ville before a blinding light tore over the skater’s vision and he felt like he was being ripped apart before thudding face first onto something very solid and vaguely grass feeling.

“Holy shit! Ville!!” Bam’s head shot up and his eyes opened blearily even as pain shot through his raw nerves and a vicious roar in his ears started. A sharp shake of his head and his vision began to clear though his hearing was still static filled. People, strangers, were moving and speaking around him. Ville was close. He knew it and didn’t care how. He just had to reach Ville. Obediently his knees and hands scramble for purchase against the ground even as he felt hands trying to gently restrain him, his eyes spotting his lover about a foot away, more strangers kneeling beside him and…. An angle? Was it death, come to take his lover to heaven? Or to hell? Could Ville be dying?! He clawed harder, and faster as half formed pleas rained from his lips as he reached out for the other man’s hand he saw lying limply at the Finn’s side. The first touch was perfection. Bam had always felt a sense of rightness with Ville but this was even more intense, and he quickly hauled himself the rest of the way to embrace the other man before passing out.

The next he awoke was to someone gently stroking his hair and a soft, deep voice singing in beautiful Finnish. Blue eyes fluttered open and glanced up into ethral green. Ville was alive and well it seemed. A deep sigh and Bam was burrowing back into the older man’s chest humming softly along with Ville’s singing. A door opened and silence settled around him but the stroking continued. Whoever it was should just go away and leave them the fuck alone! After all Bam had just had a traumatizing nightmare in which Ville had died and now he just wanted to lay there with his perfectly unharmed lover and enjoy existence for a while.

“How’s he doin’?” The voice was ruff and something tickled at the back of Bam’s head.

“He’s awake but seems loath to be disturbed.” The smirk in Ville’s voice was evident.

“Fucker.” Bam mumbled sleepily and cracked open his eyes to see a hairy, grumpy looking man standing in the door way of the rather nice appearing room he and Ville were in. Apparently they weren‘t at home, “teasing the weary and wounded is mean ya know.”

“And you claim to be bad with words saying, such poetic things even if it is not often. Now come and get up kulta, I believe our rescuers wish to speak with us.” Ville helped a grumbling Bam sit and stand to follow the gruff man through the halls of an impressive mansion. Bam’s hand tightened around the singers not in fear but in excitement. This place was a pranksters paradise.

“C’mon, everyone’s waitin’ in here.” The man opened a lovely door and motioned Bam and Ville inside.

“Behave Bammie.” Ville whispered as an overly innocent grin spread over the younger man’s face.

“Ah, I see your friend has awaken. How are you both feeling?” An older man behind an oak desk asked.

“Peachy!” Bam grinned, though he felt a bit like a bad kid in the principle’s office.

“Better, thank you.” Ville smiled and held Bam‘s hand tightly, comfortingly as he noticed his lover’s nerves beginning to stress over something.

“I’m glad to hear. I wish to welcome you to the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters, I am professor Charles Xavier, and I sincerely hope that your stay will be comfortable. Now, allow me to introduce my staff.” The man came around the desk seated in an electric wheelchair and motioned to the small group Bam and Ville hadn’t noticed before, “This is Ororo Monroe, Dr. Hank McCoy, and Logan along with another guest who will be with us for a few more days, Warren Worthington.”

They seemed normal enough to Bam. The Doc looked like the big friendly type, a bit like his dad, while Logan permiated attitude and grumpiness. Almost like Don Vito but without the slobbering stupidity. Boy would he be fun to mess with! The white haired lady had a quiet calm about her that actually made Bam want to leave her alone rather then prank her to death like he intended to do to the others. Weird. Then there was the blond. Bam frowned, a thoughtful expression twisting his face. The guy looked familiar. Tall, lean, feathery blond hair… That was it! Feathers! White, feathered wings spread out above Ville’s still form. Bam blinked and was in front of this Warren person in seconds.

“Who the hell are you, what were you doing to Ville and where the fuck did those wings go?! I know I didn’t imagine them!” Blue met blue and Warren cringed a little at the fire in Bam’s eyes.

“W… what? I don’t know what your talking about!” Warren exclaimed backing away from the crazy man.

“Don’t give me that shit!” Bam roughly took Warren’s shoulder and turned him around poking insistently at his back. Around him the others erupted in protests, including Ville, telling him to leave the blond alone.

“Bammie!” Ville pulled his lover away from Warren, “I’m sorry Mr. Worthington. Bam is very excitable.”

“Am not!” Bam pouted at the Finn.

“Eh… It’s ok Mr.?” Warren said, smoothing his dress shirt.

“Valo. Ville Valo and this is Bam Margera. It’s nice to meet you Mr. Worthington.” Ville held out his hand and shook the blond’s firmly as Bam glared on.

“There’s somethin’ fishy going on here.” The skater grumbled.

“And we would be happy to explain given a chance.” Xavier said.

“Please! Explain away, starting with why the hell we’re here? Have you at least tried to call our families?” Bam was quickly becoming agitated and Ville put a comforting hand to the small of his beloved’s back.

“Unfortunately no. We have been unable to contact your families because in this dimension you do not exist.” The professor said calmly.

Bam opened his mouth then stopped. Had he heard correctly? They didn’t exist? How the hell could they just not exist?! They were standing right there for fuck’s sake!

“What do you mean we don’t exist?” Ville’s deep voice dropped further in confusion and alarm, his arm protectively encircling Bam’s waist as he felt a flare of fear he didn’t understand but knew came from the younger man.

“You were brought here from your dimension by a mutant that we have been trying to capture for several weeks. Unfortunately after reappearing here with you he vanished again and left you both stranded here. You are lucky we found you at all and in one piece. He hasn’t seemed to be able to control his power well enough to transport other people before. You are the first to survive more or less unharmed.” Charles explained the two foriegners looking on opened mouthed.

“Oh God…” Was all Bam muttered as he leaned into Ville, “The first? You mean we could have been…. Dead?! Most likely should be dead?! What the fuck!”

“Bammie calm down!” Ville held the brown haired man close as he shook, with rage or fear perhaps a bit of both, the Finn wasn’t sure.

“Calm down?! Ville we almost died! We’re stuck in some weird ass dimension with complete strangers and I swear to God that I saw that guy earlier and he had huge fucking white wings!!” Bam ranted and stabbed his finger at Warren who sighed exasperatedly.

“That’s because I do have wings!” The billionair growled in frustration shrugging off his shirt, and undoing the harness that restrained his wings. Ville gasped and whispered something in Finnish as Bam pointed and said “I told you!” triumphantly.

“What is going on here?” Ville asked soberly as Bam stood next to him grinning.

“In this dimension some people posses very special gifts. They are called mutants.” Xavier explained.

“Mutants huh? So what are the rest of your gifts” Bam asked speculatively.

‘I am a telepath.’ Xavier smiled as Ville’s eyebrows raised and Bam grinned.

“Neat! What about you guys?” The skater looked expectantly at Logan, Ororo and Hank.

“I can control the weather.” Ororo smiled gently at him and Bam grinned.

“Awesome! Wish I had you around that time I turned my parents house into a skate park. It sucked having to tarp everything.” Ororo looked confused at this but Bam moved on watching as Hank merely fiddled with his watch before a big blue bear-ape stood before him.

“Epäuskottava….” Ville’s eyes were wide but he seemed unafraid and Bam’s reaction was a thrilled “Cool!”

“Well, thank you.” Hank smiled, not use to such positive reactions from people in his own world, least of all people from a dimension without any mutants .

“And what about you?” Bam asked Logan.

The feral held up a fist and snicked out his claws. His eye twitched in irritation when the cocky little bastard didn’t bat an eye and just looked at him almost disappointedly.

“That’s it?”

“I heal pretty damn fast too.” Logan muttered putting his claws away and crossing his arms over his chest.

Bam looked back at Ville, “5, 9, 10 and maybe a 6.”

“Only a 6? I’d give him a 7 or 8. After all he is rather handsome.” Ville nodded over at the blond, “And Mr. Xavier is a 9 certainly, you forgot him.”

“Oh, yeah! But I’d go with an 8. Telepathy ain’t as awesome as being a big furry bear-ape!” Bam insisted as the X-men looked on confused.

“Bear-ape?” Hank asked confused.

“Sorry dude couldn’t think of a better way to describe you.” Bam grinned.

“Ah.” Was the man’s only response.

“So, now what?” Bam asked turning back to Xavier.

“Well, Dr. McCoy here has done a quick analasis of your blood as well as Mr. Valo’s and he believes you both may carry a potentially active X gene. I would like to keep you here for observation. It may be that your trip to this dimension will activate this gene.” Xavier explained.

“What does this gene do exactly?” Ville asked.

“It is what makes us mutants. The X gene determinds when and how we mutate.” Hank explained.

“Kiintoisa… .” Ville murmured almost absently a curious expression on his face.

“Excuse me but if you don’t mind me asking, what language is that?”

“Hmm?” Ville seemed confused.

“You’ve said a few things that weren’t in English and I was wondering what the language was.” Hank said.

“You mean the Finland speak?!” Bam asked before Ville could answer, slinging an arm around the older man‘s shoulders, “It gets kinda annoying after a while but you get use to it!”

“Finland?” Hank began but a smiling Ville explained.

“Finnish. I am originally from Finland and I speak Finnish.” His smile faded abruptly, “There is a Finland here isn’t there?”

“Yes. There is a Finland.” Hank reassured the man who sighed in relief.

“Where are we anyway? When that guy grabbed us we were in Westchester New York.” Bam said.

Xavier smiled apparently amused, “You are still in Westchester.”

“Oh…. Neat.”

“Yes, well why doesn’t Ororo give you boys a proper tour and introduce you to the students.” Xavier suggested.

“I’m in!” Bam’s face lit in another grin.

“Sure.” Ville consented.

“Come along then. The children will be home in a half hour or so and we have a lot of ground to cover.” Ororo smiled as she lead Bam and Ville out of the office leaving Hank, Logan and the Professor behind.

“I don’t like ‘em.” Logan announced bluntly.

“The Finnish man, Ville I believe his name was, seems pleasant enough. A bit strange but hardly harmful. Bam is…. Fascinating.” Hank said.

“We will have to wait and see if their X genes activate. I didn’t sense any threat from them, though a bit of mischief on Mr. Margera’s part wouldn’t be surprising.” Xavier smiled a bit, “I believe they will both fit in well here.”

“We will of course need to find them something to occupy their time with.” Hank alluded.

“Hmmm…. Indeed we will….”

*~*~*~*~**~**~*~

“About how many feet is the deepest part of that pool?”

“Bammie, you are not to get within ten feet of anything having remotely to do with that pool!”

“Awe!! Willa your no fun!” The skater pouted as they were lead into the main hall where a group of teens were just walking in the front door.

“Perfect timing. I would like to introduce everyone to our newest residents Mr. Valo and Mr. Margera.”

“Mrs. Monroe I feel old enough as it is, please call me Ville.” The Finn smiled at the woman.

“And just call me Bam. Mr. Margera makes me think of Phil and I ain’t a damn thing like that fucker.” It was a jokingly toned sentence and Bam’s expression was fond.

“Then Ville and Bam it is!” Ororo smiled, “And these are our students: Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Kitty Pryde, Bobby Drake, Kurt Wagner, Rogue and my nephew Evan Daniels.”

“Oh thank Jesus!” Bam exclaimed and was at Evan’s side in an instant, “You have no idea how scared to fuckin’ death I was that skateboarding didn’t exist in this dimension! Please tell me you have another board dude!” Bam sounded like a dying man begging for water.

“Um. Sure man, up in my room….” Evan looked a little spooked.

“Great lets go!” Bam grabbed the kid’s wrist and hauled the dark skinned mutant up the stairs.

“Bammie! Kulta you don‘t even know where his room is!” Ville called after the over excited skater, sighing in exaspiration and mutter in Finnish something to the effect of, “What am I going to do with that man?!”

“Wohin bist Sie ab?” Kurt asked suddenly.

“Finland….” Ville said looking the strange teen over, “Sie sind ab Deutschland?”

“Ja! And your German needs work.” Kurt smiled.

“I know.” Ville smiled back, “Ich bin Villa Valo. Fein zu begegnen Sie.”

“It’s good to meet you too.” kurt grinned, “It will be nice having a fellow European around!”

“Scott, where are Jamie, Jubilation, and Tabitha?” Ororo asked suddenly in concern.

“We’re here Mrs. Monroe!!” Jubilee called as the three came running in, a Jamie on each girl’s shoulders laughing.

“Ah, well I’d like you three t meet Ville Valo. He will be joining us for the time being as well as his friend Bam Margera.” Ororo introduced the Finn who smiled gently at them.

“Bam is busy at the moment I’m afraid.” He said.

“That’s ok, your plenty cute enough for now! I‘m Boom Boom.” The blond smiles alluringly at the dark haired man stepping closer until another body suddenly barrels into him.

“Willa!!” Bam howls sitting up to straddle the slighter man’s hips, “We’re going to the skate park! Wanna come?! I snagged a note book and a pen for you. You can start on new songs for when you get HIM back together!”

“Bammie, who says HIM doesn’t already exist without me here?” Ville smiled sadly.

“If they do you can rock their boxers off and show ‘em how their suppose to sound!” Bam said reassuringly as he stood and pulled the Finn up with him, “Now, c’mon! I wanna make sure that trip didn’t knock my skills back to junior high or something!”

“Bam hold on, you haven’t met the others and I’m sure Evan has home wok!” Ville protested.

Bam groaned, “Fine, introductions then skating!” He looked over the now three strangers before him.

“Where did the other little boy go?” Ville asked.

“Oh, that’s my mutation. See!” The little boy suddenly became three then one again.

“Awesome!” Bam said ruffling the kid’s hair fondly, “I could use a little man of your talents!”

“Cool, my names Jamie!”

“And I’m Bobby. Where are you guys from again?” The blond boy asked curiously.

“I’m from West Chester PA, and he’s from Finland.” Bam said, “and we’re both from another dimension.”

“Wow. I guess compared to you two we’re hardly freaks at all.” Boom Boom said smirking.

“Tabitha.” Storm said warningly.

“Whatever! On to the skate park! Anyone else coming?” Bam asked.

“I’ll go!” Jamie said excitedly.

“Alrighty little man, you gotta board?”

“Upstairs, Spyke’s been teaching me!” Brown eyes sparkled in excitement at the man as Bam thrust his arm toward the stairs and boomed in a mock angry voice.

“Then get your ass up those stairs and get your board!”

“Yes sir!” Jamie darted up the stairs grinning.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea.” Scott began.

“What? It’s not like I’m gonna eat the kid for lunch. I’m just gonna teach him the ever important values of staying active!” Bam grinned wolfishly.

“Just watch your language if you would Bam. They are children after all.” Ororo told him.

“We will Mrs. Monroe. I‘ll make sure of it.” Ville answered covering Bam’s mouth with a firm hand.

“Thank you Ville.” The woman smiled, “Evan be careful and if I find out you had homework you will be grounded for a month and on garbage duty for two weeks of it.”

“Yes Aunti.” The boy said as his aunt turned to leave the children to their afternoon.

“Would you mind if I came along? I would love to talk more and maybe help you with your German.” Kurt asked Ville.

“I would appreciate the company.” The Finn smiled. Suddenly his face fell and he looked sharply at the red haired girl, Jean his memory supplied, “Staring is very impolite.”

“Are you a telepath?” She asked.

“Neither Bam or I know if we are anything other then human at this point.” Ville said.

“Hmmm.” She studied him curiously and Ville found himself become irritated with her.

“Come on Jean. We’ve got that project to finish.” Scott said as he walked toward the kitchen.

Bam childishly stuck his tongue out at their retreating backs, “Who needs ‘em!”

“You know you guys are alright in my book.” Rogue said with a smile, Bobby and Kitty agreeing beside her as they headed up stairs nearly being run over by Jamie as he bolted down to join the new comers.

“Sorry!” He said, “Are we going now?”

“Sure kiddo! Now lets see….” He counted off the people who were going, “You comin’ Boom Boom?”

“Sure, maybe you boys can teach me a thing or two.” She grinned and glanced fondly at Ville.

“In that case I think this calls for transportation!” Bam looked around, “This place come with a garage?”

TBC……

A/N: I know I'm messing with the Evo story line but I don't care!! It works for my vaguely planned purposes!! Most notably, I'm keeping Spyke and only adding a few of the new mutants from the series. Boom Boom will also be staying an X-man to create angsty goodness around Ville and Bam!! So yeah.....
Please review I actually do have the next chapter in the works but it could be a week or two so be patient.^^

Nkundra’s Dictionary of Most Likely Mutilated Finnish: *^^*
(In order of appearance)

Epäuskottava- unbelievable, incredible

Kiintoisa- interesting

Kulta- gold, darling, sweetheart, honey, love, dear

German Version:
(Also in order of appearance! *^^*)

Wohin bist Sie ab?- Where are you from?

Sie sind ab Deutschland?- You are from Germany?

Ich bin Villa Valo. Fein zu begegnen Sie.- I am Ville Valo. It is nice to meet you.
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Brave New World