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What Dreams May Come	By : jacquelyn620 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 2170 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Song or Suicide

AUTHOR’S NOTES: I OWN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER(S), THAT’S IT! I wish I owned Ville, god that would be fucking sweet!!!! –Insert evil laughter here-

And to let you know, I’ll probably make every chapter related to a HIM song. This first chapter is a very short song off of Venus Doom, so if by chance you don’t own the album quite yet, you now know where the song is from.

So read, enjoy and please rate and review! I seriously get encouragement to continue stories when I hear back from my readers.
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Sorrow rebuild me as I step out of the light
Misery strengthen me as I say my goodbyes

I heal my wounds with grief
And dream of you
And weep myself alive

The very last line of the verse Ville scribbled almost angrily across the paper of his notebook. He looked over her words, tears in his eyes. It had been exactly a month since he ended his engagement/relationship with Jonna. After they ended their so called relationship, Ville tried to make it seem as though he was fine.

It was a lie.

He hated the fact that they broke up. He wanted this one to work out. None of his relationships ever worked out. They were always nothing but love, sex and then complete heartbreak. Ville use to like this sort of feeling because then it helped him write better songs. But now…now he hated it. He wasn’t the younger man he used to be when the band had started out years ago. That was almost ten years ago. Ten years had passed and he has still not settled down.

Ville could hear his father’s words in his head.

“You need to find yourself a girl and settle down and start a family. You might last long if you keep being the rock star that you are.”

He thought that once he met Jonna, that she was the one. That she was the one who would help him settle down. She was perfect, according to him. He even started to gain a little weight cause her food was so delicious. He thought that he would have to start going to workout to keep in shape for all of his adoring fans who love him for his skinny yet mysterious body image. He let out a sigh, thinking about Jonna’s cooking.

Ville was almost to the point of fasting; only eating enough to get by. His eyes glanced around him as he looked about his apartment. A very large and dangerous number of alcohol bottles. Some were old from months prior when Bam had been in Helsinki. However a good amount of them were new and drunk by him. Several lay around him as he leaned his back against his couch, his notebook resting on his lap.

The whole room reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. His ashtray was full of butted out ciggies. He leaned over and picked up his guitar, tuning it and started playing a couple of chords to match the feeling he was going for with his new song.

“Sorrow rebuilds me as I step out of the light...” he sang softly, strumming on his guitar.

“Mistery strengthen me as I say my goodbyes,” perfect chords again.

“I heal my wounds with grief and dream of you,” good chords again, however the last art of that line made him stop. That’s all he had done since Jonna left. He had dreamed. Not of her, but of his dream girl. The girl that had been in his dreams since he was a teenager. He thought that Jonna was that woman, but alas she was not.

In a very soft voice, almostlike a whisper, Ville sang the last line of the song, “And weep myself alive.” He cringed when the notes came out wrong. That really bothered him. He tried it again, same thing happened. He tried it numerous times, knowing that it was the right note for the song. Same result every time he tried it. He grew aggravated and shoved his guitar away from him, sliding across the floor.

Ville sat there, barely moving barely breathing, a million thoughts running through his mind.

Tears started to form in his eyes again.

“Why did she have to leave me? Why did she have to build me up to just knock me down again?” he sobbed aloud to no one, “Jonna…that heartless bitch. She did this to me. I hope someday she realizes how much pain and heartache I’m in right now.”

His tears of sorrow quickly turned from sorrow to anger to depression. In his anger he picked up one of the beer bottles and smashed it against the floor. The bottle shattered, leaving the neck and a good sharp edge of the glass still in his hand. He glanced at the sharp point of the shard of glass.

He rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and glanced down at his wrist. He just barely pressed the cool glass against his flesh. He had never in his life considered cutting himself; however this was the worst depression he had ever been in.

The tears kept rolling down his face as he just barely pressed the edge of the glass into his skin. He was so preoccupied with the pressure on his wrist that he didn’t even hear the door open as Mige and Linde walked in.

“Ville?” Mige said as his eyes got big when he saw what Ville was doing.

Linde’s reaction was almost the same as Mige’s as he ran over and quickly, yet carefully took the glass away from Ville. As soon as he did, Ville turned his head towards Linde, springing on him out of anger and frustration. Ville’s hands quickly went to Linde’s neck, chocking him.

“Give me back the fucking bottle,” Ville yelled out.

Mige rushed over, easily pulling Ville off of Linde. He held onto him as Ville tried to get his way out of Mige’s strong grip. Ville finally gave up after a few minutes of struggling. His body went limp as Mige helped him over to sit on the couch. Mige sat down next to him as Ville suddenly embraced him, crying into Mige’s shoulder.

“Call Burton and Gas,” Mige said to Linde.

“What about Sepo?” Linde asked.

Mige stared at him, “We can tell him about this later. Right now we just need Burton and Gas here. I’m calling a band meeting.”

Linde sighed as he walked back towards the front door, reaching for the cell phone in his pocket. He closed the door behind him as he dialed Burton’s number.

Ring………Ring……….Ring…..

“Pick the fuck up Burton!” Linde cursed, becoming impatient.

“Hello?” Burton’s voice answered on the other end.

“Burton it’s Lily,” Linde started out trying to cover the fact that his voice cracked a tiny bit, “I need you to get Gas and get over to Ville’s apartment right now.”

“Why? Does Ville have some new songs?” Burton asked.

“No this is a more serious matter and don’t let Sepo know about the meaning.”
A slight pause, “Why can’t I tell Sepo?”

“Cause Mige has called a group meeting.”

There was a longer pause this time. Linde broke the silence, “Burton? Are you still…”

“A group meeting? This must be really serious if Mige’s calling a group meeting and doesn’t want Sepo to know,” Burton said.

“It is serious,” Linde said leaning his arm and forehead against the wall of the hallway, “We almost lost our singer.”

“I’ll get Gas we’ll be there as quick as possible,” Burton said as he hung up.

Linde hung up as well, sighing heavily, just standing there. He had known Ville for so long, since they were kids. He never expected Ville to go to this low, to actually turn to cutting. He let out another sigh before he opened the door back up and went back inside. He saw Ville still crying into Mige’s shoulder, Mige with a very upset look on his face.

“They’ll be here as soon as possible,” Linde started out, “I told Burton not to tell Sepo about this.”

Mige nodded as he still held onto Ville. After a few minutes Ville pulled back, his eyes red from crying as he leaned against the back of the couch. Mige didn’t know what to do or what to say, at least not yet.

He got up and started to pick up the other broken shards of the beer bottle as Linde picked up the unbroken ones. The two of them got a good quantity of the bottles picked up before Burton and Gas can into the apartment.

The other four pulled up chairs to surround the couch as Ville stretched out on it. Ville didn’t say anything, he just stared up at the ceiling.

“So what happened?” Gas asked.

“We found Ville with a beer bottle shard pressing it against his wrist,” Mige answered.

“What!?!” both Burton and Gas exclaimed.

“What would make him come down to that?” Burton asked.

“Jonna….”

The others turned towards Ville as he said her name. They all exchanged looks as they turned back towards one another.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Mige said shaking his head.

“Why didn’t you tell us about this Ville?” Gas asked, his voice filled with concern.

Ville sighed, “Because I didn’t want you guys to worry about me like you are now.”

“We have to worry about your well being all the time,” Linde yelled at him.

“Lily…don’t yell at him,” Mige said, “Ville we have to worry about you because…because without your songs and your voice and basically you in general, we’re nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” Ville said, “ you would of found another singer to replace me.”

“No one can replace you,” Gas said.

“Or sing like you,” Burton continued from Gas’ response.

Ville did nothing; he just continued to stare at the ceiling. He let out a heavy sigh as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, taking a long drag off of it.

The four of them turned back to look at one another.

“What are we going to do?” Mige asked.

“Well…no never mind,” Gas started to say.

“What?” the other three asked.

Gas looked at them, surprised they wanted to know what he was going to say, “Well we have a bit of time off before we start touring again. I was planning on going back to Texas for my vacation. Maybe we could all go together; I think Ville really needs to get out of Helsinki for a little bit. Besides,” Gas said making his voice softer so Ville couldn’t hear, “Also that female singer I told you all about lives in Dallas. We could go see her perform and get Ville to meet her. I think he would really like that.”

The other three smiled as they thought over the plan.

“Dallas here we come!” Mige said.

Ville looked at him, “What?!”
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What Dreams May Come