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The Last Night	By : TaimaMarie Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 935 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Last Night
- 1
It was terribly late. Bam’s eyes cracked open as heard the gentle sound. Maybe he was just dreaming. But maybe he wasn’t. He sat up. There it was again. The softest, shyest knocking he had ever heard.
He scrambled off his bed and padded barefoot to the front door, fully expecting to find no one there by the time he got there.
He was mistaken. There was someone there. Someone in a black woolly beanie, with a pale face marred by running mascara. Arms that were crossed tightly over a chest. The person was shivering. Bam could tell that the green, green eyes were rimmed in red.
“Ville? What are you doing here so late?” he yawned.
“I… I just wanted to see you, I guess.” He shrugged. Bam stepped back and ushered his friend inside. Ville sat primly on the couch. He uncrossed his arms and looked at his wrists.
Bam didn’t have to look to know what was there. He had seen the wrinkled white scars many times. He tried to tell himself that Ville was past that. He’d never do it again. But he was never too sure.
“Is something wrong?” he sat down next to the Finn, feeling the cool air that surrounded him.
“I just wanted to see you.” He repeated. Bam nodded. He reached out and took the cold hand. He hadn’t even worn gloves.

You come to me with scars on your wrists.
You tell me this will be the last night,
Feeling like this.

Ville pursed his lips when he felt the warmth of the other boy’s touch. He had been longing for it, home as he had been by himself. He turned his face away, trying to hide the stinging tears in his eyes.
“There’s something the matter.” It wasn’t a question, but he nodded anyway.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” He mumbled, trying to assure Bam. He glanced back at his friend. He didn’t look too sure. Ville was sure he didn’t sound too reassuring.
And honestly, that would be hard to believe, wouldn’t it? He had shown up in the middle of the night, in the snow. Just to see Bam. Just because he thought Bam might be the only one who could make him feel better.
It had worked. But it didn’t make for a convincing argument that you were just fine, did it?

I just came to say goodbye.
Didn’t want you to see me cry.
I’m fine.

“I don’t think that you can. It’s okay to ask for help, Ville.” Bam said softly. The green eyes locked with his, and the misery he saw in them made him want to cry. He reached out to cup the face, icy beneath his flesh.

But I know it’s a lie.

“I should go,” Ville made a move to stand. Bam reached out and grabbed his hands. The singer paused, turning to look questioningly at his friend.
“Do you want to?”
“I shouldn’t have come and woken you up. I’m sorry,” he brushed off the question. “It would be rude of me to stay. I have to go.”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to stay with me?” Bam stood up, pulling Ville with him. The singer licked his lips.

This is the last night you’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know,
I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you’ll spend alone,
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.
I’m everything you need me to be.

“I want to stay with you.” He said softly. He was surprised when Bam pulled him into a crushing embrace. And, in spite of himself, he melted into it. He couldn’t help it; Bam was so warm, so gentle.
“Tell me what the matter is.” Bam whispered in his ear.
“It’s my own fault. I’m just letting everything get me down. I should be stronger than this.” He said into the shorter man’s shoulder. Bam shook his head.
“It’s not as easy as that.”

Your parents say,
Everything is your fault.
But they don’t know you like I know you,
They don’t know you at all.

“No,” Ville whimpered. “It isn’t.” he was crying again, and he hated himself for it. Bam was taking him to his room. He sat him on the bed and then disappeared.
It wasn’t long before the American reappeared, carrying a wet washcloth. He gently bathed the Finn’s face, wiping away the smeared make up and the tear tracks. Ville looked up at him, eyes showing all the aching that was inside of him.
“It’s okay to say that you’re not okay, Ville. Tell me that you’re not okay.” He stroked the dark brown hair back from the pale face before him before bending down to relieve Ville of his sweater.

I’m so sick of when they say,
“It’s just a phase, you’ll be okay.
You’re fine.”

“I’m okay,” Ville sniffled.
“No, you’re not.”

But I know it’s a lie.

“I just want to pretend that I am.” Ville shook his head.
“Stop it,” Bam held his wrists, making Ville look him in the eye. “Stop pretending because it’s not helping you. It’s only hurting you. And I just can’t stand to see you be hurt anymore.”
“You really care?”
“Yes! Didn’t you know that?” how could he not? Hadn’t he done everything he possibly could to show the man…?
“I guess sometimes I just forget.” Ville shrugged. Bam sighed and lay down on his bed. He opened his arms, an invitation. Ville hesitated before lying down next to Bam.
How long had it been since he’d felt such warm strong arms surrounding him? How long had it been since he’d felt so… Safe? How long had it been since he hadn’t been alone?

This is the last night you’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you’ll spend alone.
I’ll wrap you in my arms, and I won’t let go.
I’m everything you need me to be.

“Do you feel better?” Bam asked after a few minutes.
“Yes. I just wish I could make it last.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s so hard when I have to sleep alone. That’s all.”

The last night,
Away from me.

“And being with me helps?”
“Yes,” Ville whispered. “Being with you always helps me.”
“Then stay here with me, Willa. You don’t have to go. Stay here with me.” Bam urged him.
“Could I?”
“Yes!” how clueless could he be? Bam pulled him in tightly, almost crushing him. Ville’s arms locked around his neck.
“I haven’t slept in days.” He confessed.
“I can tell.”
“But I could sleep… Here. With you.” Bam swallowed against the tightness of his throat. He untangled one of his arms from the rock star and reached for one of his hands, holding onto it tightly.

Tonight is long,
When everything’s wrong.
If you give me your hand,
I will help you hang on.

“I love you, Bam.”
“Oh, Ville, I love you too. You do understand that, don’t you?” their eyes locked. Ville nodded once, slowly.

Tonight.
Tonight.

He buried his face in Bam’s chest. Bam held him tightly, stroked his hair. Before too long, the Finn seemed close to sleep. The skater knew that there was no sleep from him in this night. He could not bring himself to shut his eyes.
He had to stay awake, had to stand guard.
Or something like that.

This is the last night you’ll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you’ll spend alone.
I’ll wrap you in my arms,
And I won’t let go.
I’m everything you need me to be.

Bam kissed the top of Ville’s head, felt him stirring in his arms, finding a more comfortable position.
He was soon soothed himself; feeling the warm, gentle weight of the Finn in his arms, knowing he was protecting him. Knowing that he had helped him, saved him. And truthfully, it wasn’t all for Ville. He couldn’t imagine his life without the other man. He closed his eyes just for a moment, to collect his thoughts.
And then he opened them again. He must always watch. He must always be there.

I won’t let you say goodbye,
And I’ll be your reason why.
The last night,
Away from me.
Away from me.
- 1
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The Last Night