Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

dieser Tag ist der Letzte	By : BabyElle Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 796 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the celebrity I am writing about. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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- 1-dieser Tag ist der Letzte
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it's a very emotional one and means a lot to me since it's made from partly personal experience... this is for BlackShadow -> she saved me and made sure i was alright i my dark period...if you can't stand the thought of a person hurting/cutting himself don't complain cuz i'm not making you read this...

Once again a Tom/Bill...most of my stories are, their just to adorable together...Made on their song "Rette Mich"

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He was so close. So close to finish it for once and for all. His feelings overruled his mind. Nothing could stop him to do this. Nobody knew that he in fact was even thinking of this. They would probably think he was being ridiculous again. That everything he thought wasn’t true. If only they knew how he felt. With every word that was said his heart bled. The words making scratches on his already mangled heart. But they never noticed it. Of course they didn’t, because he didn’t let them know. They wouldn’t believe him anyway.

Not even his friends would believe him, would be able to stop him. Oh yes, he knew he promised not ever to do anything like this. So that it never would come this far again. The last time he was a walking corpse. His already pale face had been as white as a sheet, his bags underneath his eyes had been enormous, his slim body would’ve made an model green of jealousy.
Even the light in his eyes had dimmed then to never to return. But they noticed. David had called a doctor who had placed him on a high protein diet. And he was send to a therapist. Everybody on the band and crew had promised they would keep a close eye on him so that this would never ever happen again.

As he looked in the mirror he snorted at that particular thought. They had kept such a good eye on him that they never noticed that with every meal he eat less until he didn’t eat at all. They where so worried that they never saw that after every night he looked like hadn’t slept at all. And they never noticed the small gashes on his arms even though he wore tight shirts. Even now when he was just like last time they never saw or commented on it.

No, he thought to himself. Nobody cares. Nobody. I’m all alone in this. This time I’m finishing it and then… Then I’ll be free and nobody will be able to tell me what to do ever again.
I will be do what I want to do, when I want it and how I want it.
As he looked down to the knife, he thought to the last time he tried to do it. Back then his brother was able to find him in time. The whole room had been splattered in his blood and glass that had fallen down. His brother had stopped the bleeding of his wounds, had brought him back as he had fallen unconscious. He hadn’t been able to place one step or he would’ve been there asking where he was going, what he was going to do and if he should come along. But even that had faded away. His brother has left him alone after a few weeks. Going back to partying, drinking, making fun,…. like he always did.

He took the knife in his hand and studied it. The only person that knew that he had this knife was the merchant he bought it from. And he promised not to talk to the press. Which was a good thing because then everybody would’ve known he had it before he was back to the hotel. The knife seemingly tried to convince him to continue this. To go to his well owned freedom. But when he moved it toward his wrist he stopped. As he lifted it he noticed something on it that he hadn’t noticed before. Something that definitely wasn’t on it when he bought it. A small piece of what appeared to be hair was knotted around it. A piece of hair that looked suspiciously a lot like his brother’s. After all they were the only two who had dirty dark blond hair. And seeing as his hair was black it only could be of him.

His brother had found it…but he hasn’t said anything to him. He hasn’t taken it away or talked to him about it. He bite his lowerlip. Could…could this mean that…that his brother didn’t mind …or cared what he was going to do. He honestly didn’t know what to think. On one part he wanted his brother not to care so that he could do this but on the other part…he wished that his brother would stop him.
He slowly unwrapped the piece of hair from the knife and held it close to his face. Feeling as if his brother was right there, right next to him. And suddenly he didn’t feel alone anymore. He suddenly felt comforted and at ease. Perhaps he wasn’t so alone as he thought. He would always have his brother. They were twins, twins stick together and don’t leave one another.

A small ghostly smile appeared on his face, as memories of them together entered his mind. Pushing the feelings away, making way for the memories and happier thoughts.
Among the memories he saw always saw his love’s face. And realised that even though it sometimes looked like he was all alone and nobody cared. There would always be someone who would care, who would weep and smile together with him. Who would take care of him when he was sad or sick. His small smile turned genuine and the dimmed light in his eyes began to grow back. Making his brown eyes shine, even if it was small.

Holding up the knife away from his wrist he narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t going to throw his life away. He had his love and friends around him. More thousand fans standing behind him as well as his family. He wouldn’t want that to go away…he doesn’t want them to grieve over a pointless dead. No, he will stay and if it ever would come again he will fight it. Not even this knife would be able tempt him … ever again. He threw the knife in the garbage can just as he heard someone knocking on his door.

“Bill? … you ready? It’s time to go for sound-check…..Bill? You there?” He smiled. Yes he would never do it….ever. After all he had everything he wanted here and he wouldn’t have it when he was gone.
“Bill?” His brother’s voice sounded worried. “I’m coming… just… wait a sec.” he yelled back. He looked at the knife lying in the trashcan and turned away. And as he opened the door and smiled at his brother’s face as he wrapped his arms around him and walked down to the lobby he had one final thought.

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*cries* s-sorry...it's b-been a hard time for me t-that's what made me write this...so.. j-just review if you want to *waves hand at you while wipping tears away*
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