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Past and Present	By : Elysia Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > X Japan Views: 1296 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of XJapan. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Past and Present
- 2-Chapter Two: Present
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AN: I was asked to write a Heath fiction at the request of ThexShinya. So I did some research and some more research and found the moment I am going to use. For all of you who have seen the Last Live. During one part Pata looks at Heath and they smile at each other like they have a personal secret. Well I was interested enough to watch the other four concerts I own and sure enough those two do it in every concert. Soooo using that as my base board here we have this new little fic.

The Past:

Thank God practice was over.

I sat on one of the couches cleaning off my bass guitar. I was still fairly new. It was only the beginning of my second week with X. I watched silently as Pata walked up to Yoshiki, who was still lightly beating out on the drums. Even though practice was over he never stopped.

“I’m going out tonight.” Pata said to him, “Why don’t you come along?”

“I’m not going drinking with you Pata.” Yoshiki replied. “Besides I want to get this right.”

“Practice is over Yoshiki. You work too hard.” Pata replied.

“Take Heath with you.” Yoshiki replied.

I started. Leave it to Yoshiki to volunteer me. I didn’t know anything about Pata. Well not enough to know more then we’re in a band together. What could we possibly do going out together? Pata looked at me and smiled. He nodded his head and left the room. I gapped. Did he just tell me I was going with him?

Yoshiki glanced up at me but the bass drum never stopped its heartbeat staccato. “Go with him. Keep him safe.”

It was clear he wasn’t asking. I didn’t sigh, even though I wanted to. When Yoshiki said jump you said how high. It’s how X worked, so I nodded and putting my bass away hurried after Pata.

Pata was standing outside smoking. It was clear he had been waiting on me. He put the cigarette out when he saw me.

“You ready?” he asked.

I only shrugged. I wasn’t a big drinker and by the form of Yoshiki’s request I didn’t think I was suppose to.

Pata smiled again and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Let’s go.” He said to me.

Hours later:

Pata was definitely done. I now had a better respect and understanding of what the man could put away. Even being completely plastered he was still trying to toss back drinks. I took the glass out off his hand without thinking and stood up.

“Come on Pata. You’re done.” I tossed some yen on the table and helped Pata to his feet. He swayed heavily and landed against me but overall stayed close to upright. Pata wrapped one of his arms around my neck and I wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him out.

Walking down the street with a drunk Pata was not the best idea, but since he had spent all our readily available yen I didn’t have enough for a taxi to his apartment. After nearly being pushed over or dragged down I got irritated and stopped.

“Pata you are making this harder then it should be.” Using the arm he had slung around my neck I pulled him up onto my back, piggy backing him. I staggered a moment, he was heavier then he looked, then balanced out. Pata made no protest, he just rested his head on my shoulder as I walked down the street.

We made it to his apartment building without further complications. At least until it came time to open the door. The outside door was security locked and I needed Pata’s key to open it.

“Pata.” I jiggled him a little. I wasn’t sure how well he held his alcohol and didn’t want to be wearing any of it in a secondary form. It seems he had fallen asleep or past out on me. I did sigh then. I set him down against the building. He didn’t even flinch. At first I thought he might have died, but the rise and fall of his chest was a quick killer of that idea. I searched him quickly for his key. There weren’t that many people on the street at this hour, but I didn’t want to attract any more attention then necessary. I found his key in the pocket of his jeans.

Getting him back onto my back was harder then the first time since he was all dead weight at this point. Once I did manage I quickly opened the door and went inside. I’ve only visited Pata twice before and always in the presence of Yoshiki or Toshi so I had no clue what floor he was on, but I knew we had rode in the elevator. Once in the elevator I shook Pata again.

“Pata what floor are you on?” I must have startled him because the arm that had been resting over my shoulder wrapped around my neck. “Pata!” I dropped his legs and clutched at his arm. I turned my head towards his resting on my shoulder and our mouths met quite accidentally. It was funny how he had relaxed as soon as we kissed.

I was too shocked to move. I didn’t even register that his free hand hit the button for his floor. I remembered to jerk away when his free hand found it’s way into my pants.

“Pata!”

“Hm?” He seemed to cling closer and kissed me again. His hand was moving in the most erotic of ways and I couldn’t hold back the moan that built up. When the elevator dinged I jerked guiltily away, Pata nearly fell to the floor. I swore and caught him. The man was drunk. I was taking advantage of a drunken man and he was a band mate. Yoshiki would have my head if he found out.

Pata shook off my hand and snatched his keys. “Since obviously I don’t please you, good night.” He sounded like a petulant child, but before I could say anything to him the elevator doors closed in my face.

I was too shocked to do more then go home and dump myself into bed. We still had practice in the morning… what was I going to tell Yoshiki?

It’s weird that I couldn’t sleep. I even found myself outside the practice room a good ten minutes early. I could hear the piano and a guitar through the door. I didn’t have the guts to check if it was HIDE or Pata. I was new enough still not to be able to pull apart who played what part.

“It’s not going to open by staring at it.”

I jumped and swore. HIDE was behind me. He laughed and opening the door walked through. With little choice I followed. HIDE and I were the last to arrive. Yoshiki was sitting at his piano and Pata was in his own little world with his eyes half closed fingering the strings.

Yoshiki smiled at me when he saw me. “Thank you for last night, Heath.”

I couldn’t help the embarrassment that flooded through me. I could only nod and went straight to grab my bass. Since my back was to Yoshiki I couldn’t see his frown at my reaction.

After the first hour I could swear Yoshiki was going to fire me. I couldn’t concentrate. I was missing simple chords left and right. After stopping for – well I lost count by then so it didn’t matter- whatever time I couldn’t take the stress anymore.

“I’m sorry, I need a cigarette.” I hurried out. As I was leaving I heard Yoshiki say to Pata, “What did you do last night?”

Once outside I gulped at the fresh air almost as if I had been suffocating. I didn’t really need the cigarette. The air was enough to calm my stress.

“Is there something bothering you?”

I jumped out of my skin and cursed. Pata was laughing. “I’m sorry,” He said to me.

“No nothing’s bothering me other then lack of sleep.” There was no point in telling him, he was the source of my discomfort. No reason to tell him the reason I didn’t sleep last night was because of him. It was only drunken groping after all. Why is it bothering me so badly?

Pata looked at me carefully. “You’re a poor liar.”

I sighed and took the cigarette he offered to me. “Is Yoshiki going to fire me?”

“After a night out with me?” Pata laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t call out sick.”

“Thanks for not ratting on me then.” I muttered.

“Ratting on you?” Pata sounded puzzled.

I turned and looked at him critically. I was tired and aggravated over something that I should just brush off. “You obviously didn’t tell Yoshiki I didn’t tuck you in last night.”

“Oh that.” Pata waved it away. “But then that means that you owe me no?”

I didn’t like the gleam in his eye. It made me wary. “Yes, I guess I do.” I carefully stubbed out my cigarette while watching his face.

He moved into my personal space, but I didn’t retreat. Retreating would have made his action important. When he placed a hand on my waist I stiffened but still didn’t move.

“Yoshiki is waiting on us.” I reminded him hoping that he would step away. He only stepped closer. I swallowed nervously, and he bent down a little and kissed me. I was just as stunned as the first time. Obviously not drunk he had more skill then previously.

When he pulled away I blinked not realizing I closed my eyes.

“Not indifferent I see.” Pata stated quietly.

“I… You…” Obviously being coherent wasn’t on my list of things to do for the day either.

“Perhaps we should have dinner at my house tonight.” Pata suggested.

“But… I…”

“Hey guys.” HIDE popped outside, his outfit immediately catching the sun and blinding anyone whom looked at him.

“Yes, we know.” Pata stated.

I walked inside without saying anything further to him. In all honesty I didn’t know what to say.

Yoshiki was mercifully silent when we returned. He said not a word during practice at the other mistakes I made even though I know I made them.

When practice was over I practically leapt at the opportunity to put away my bass.

“Heath.” Yoshiki only had to say my name.

“Um, yes?” I was hesitant with good reason.

The other members of the band didn’t say a word just went about their business of cleaning up.

“I’d like to talk to you.” He looked at the other members. “In private.”

Toshi and HIDE immediately nodded and walked out. Pata frowned and made to say something but the look Yoshiki gave him was enough to silence him and have him walking out.

After they left the silence was deafening.

“Well?” Yoshiki asked.

“Well?” I echoed.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I want to know what happened last night that made it obviously uncomfortable for you to be in the same room with Pata. And I want to know what HIDE walked into that he stated the tension was so thick he thought he was chewing on the air.” Yoshiki demanded.

I frowned. “How do you know what HIDE walked into?”

Yoshiki smiled sarcastically. “He told me when I was trying to piss.”

I opened my mouth then closed it again. I didn’t know what to tell him. Well, Yoshiki, I’m contemplating sleeping with Pata probably wouldn’t go over well.

“I’m waiting.” Yoshiki was still demanding a response, and I had no idea how to respond.

“I slept poorly last night after being out with Pata. I blame him of course therefore am a little surly. That’s all.” I replied. It was partial truth anyway. A little truth salts a lie even better.

Yoshiki looked at me with a stare that I thought was looking into my soul. “I think not, since it took you so long to think of an answer. Try again.”

I grew angry. “It’s really none of your business.”

“Oh? When you fuck up at practice all day long, and can’t even provide me with a reasonable answer, it is my business.” He replied hotly.

“I’m tired that’s all. I can’t think straight.” I replied defeated.

“That’s not going to work either. Or should I ask Pata why HIDE saw him advancing on you through the window.” Yoshiki asked.

My eyes snapped to his. I sighed and sat on the couch closest to me. “If you know what’s wrong why are you asking me?” I put my arms up on my knees and put my face in my hands. I was tired of fucking mind games.

“I wanted you to say it and I wanted to know how you felt about it.” Yoshiki replied rather kindly. “Pata isn’t usually so open or clumsy in his advances, and since both of you re my friends I had expected at least one of you to talk to me. Since Pata hasn’t volunteered you’re it.”

“I don’t know him, or you for that matter…” I responded through my hands. “I’m still so new to X I’m just trying to remember the music at this point.”

“I didn’t know HIDE the first time either.” Yoshiki put in. I saw him frown through my fingers. “I don’t think Toshi knew Taiji really well either.”

I lifted my head and looked at him. He shrugged at me. “You need to know what you’re getting into. We’re not below sleeping with a woman, it’s just safer sleeping with each other. Less stress, no strings, and no diseases for that matter. Although I think HIDE is more loyal to me then he lets on.”

“I’m confused.” I couldn’t process. Toshi had slept with the old bassist? And Yoshiki and HIDE were sleeping together? But I had thought Yoshiki and Toshi were sleeping together if I had thought anything along those lines.

Yoshiki stood up and walking over placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. “What I’m saying is that you won’t shock us if you have the “hawts” for Pata.”

“Who was Pata with before?” I asked needing the answer for some reason. Even though I know it shouldn’t matter.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Yoshiki countered. “Go home, get some sleep. Then take on Pata.”

“I’m not sure I want to.” I replied.

“Why not?” Yoshiki questioned.

“I… it’s not right.” I finished lamely.

Yoshiki laughed at me. “Go get some sleep Heath. You’ll feel better for it.”

I nodded and rose from the couch.

“Oh and Heath.”

I turned to look at him.

“If you were so opposite to the idea, why didn’t you push him away? Or revolt when I told you about our inner workings? Think on it.” Yoshiki told me. “And if you fuck up this bad tomorrow don’t expect to have a position in X.”

I nodded and left. I didn’t say anything to the members as I passed them. I was lost in my own little thoughts. I think Pata meant to follow me, but I didn’t turn to see why Toshi said his name.

My thoughts were scrambled as I walked home. Why didn’t I push him away? I had been in shock. A little part of my brain called me a liar and told me I liked it. It’s been so long since anyone wanted anything to do with me, of course the absence of intimacy would heighten the sensations when they reoccurred. That same part of my brain was still calling me a liar.

I arrived home faster then I realized and trudged up the stairs to my apartment. Almost mechanically I picked up the mail and kicked my shoes off.

Well then why didn’t I freak out when Yoshiki told me about the bands’ love life? In essence I was in a band of queers. Why didn’t it bother me? I pondered the question as I showered. It had seemed natural. Almost like I had accepted it as normal and okay.

But why would I do that? I was raised correctly. I had been taught what was right and wrong. Then again, no woman had ever left me dumbfounded over just a kiss. Did that make me gay?

I frowned over the question as I dried off. Was I gay? Of course not. Then why didn’t Pata revolt me? Because… hm. I didn’t have an answer for that.

The knocking on my door threw me out of my thoughts. I tied the towel around my waist and went to the door. Whoever it was had a hand over the peephole so I couldn’t see.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Delivery.” A muffled voice replied.

I sighed and opened the door. Pata stood there with a pizza box. He looked me over once and it made my blood pound.

“Pata? What are you doing here?” I asked shocked.

“Dinner. Remember? Since you looked so tired after practice I thought we’d have dinner at your house instead.” Pata replied. “Unless you want something else?”

It was rude to turn him away. That’s what I told myself when I opened the door wider and let him in.

He looked around as he politely removed his shoes. “Nice place.”

“Why did you kiss me?” I blurted out before I even thought about it.

He looked at me. Really looked at me. “Do you want the answer on an empty stomach or a full one?”

“If my stomach’s full I don’t want the chance of throwing it up.” I was being rude. I knew it, but he smiled.

He laid a hand against the side of my face. “Your very attractive.” He walked past me and set the pizza box down on the kitchen counter.

Attractive? I was attractive? That was definitely different. Maybe dinner and a q-and-a would help me process my thoughts. “Let me go put some clothes on.”

An arm wrapped around my waist as I turned to go down the hallway. Pata’s lips just brushed my ear and nibbled gently. I leaned against him weakened.

“I want to know you first.” I could hear myself say in a shaky voice.

Pata released me. I nearly staggered like a drunk. “Go get dressed. We have all evening.”

~End Chapter~

AN: So what do you think? The next chapter is the future I hope. Maybe. I’m not sure if I’m going to have any sex or not. This was just an idea playing through my head.
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Past and Present