Exiled My Heart | By : TheMetalMistress6982 Category: WWF/WWE > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2226 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the WWE nor the rights to it. I DO NOT personally know John Cena, Randy Orton, Drew McIntyre, Edge, CM Punk, or ANY Corre members, including Wade Barrett. This is a work of pure fiction NOT intended for ANY kind |
John Cena slumped back in his locker room bench,exhausted after his match with CM Punk which ended with yet another New Nexus member being initiated after attacking both him and CM Punk. John sighed and covered his face with his hands, hating the thought of re-conquering the Nexus all over again. He laughed almost insanely as a wild thought entered his mind,'Man,I'd rather deal with Wade again...not this nutcase CM Punk and his overgrown pet baby Batista,not to mention the rest of his merry little sheep...' He sighed again and idly picked up his phone,seeing that some twitter notices came through while he was busy. He shrugged and decided to nose through them before leaving for the night.
One unique looking tweet caught his attention though,as he had noticed that a particular someone that he had,ironically,just been thinking about had gone back to twittering on his page again. His heart made a weird leaping feeling as he saw the bold text stand out stating this,"WadeBarrett: Preston North End FC, England football, England Rugby, Chicago Bears. In that order. 17 Jan via ÜberTwitter" He continued to stare down at it now in almost grief and shock ,it was made just a few hours ago apparently too. John was spacing out so much that he flinched slightly as he saw something wet strike the screen of his phone,'What the hell???...' He thought,'Am I...?' John frantically wiped at his face,startled now to feel the wetness gathered there. John threw his phone to the side gently and stood up, pacing around. He shook his head wildly,finally muttering to himself,"No! No! I did NOT...just cry over Wade Barrett....I DID NOT!! I'm...I'm glad he's gone...I...I really am..."
But,saying that out loud really made him hurt inside for some reason and it bugged the hell out of him.He stopped pacing and looked down at the floor,remembering how kinda fun it was to annoy Wade when he was a part of Nexus. He remembered being a smartass and had retaliated Wade's order to do something with his patented "You Can't See Me" hand gesture and he could've sworn he saw a tiny smirk of amusement on Wade's face like he liked it when he did that to him. John shook his head and muttered again,"Man...all those times...I smartassed him...he...never really...like ordered me to be beat down or anything...just humiliated me of course...but he...it was almost like...I made him...smile....like...I made him...happy? Did I?" John never thought about it that way before. He knew his humiliation amused Wade,but never thought his smartassing made Wade happy too. He always thought it annoyed the Brit, thus why he did it as much as he could.
He gulped hard as other memories rose to mind, the time when him and Wade walked to the ring together for a match,Wade letting him have his own music on for once while walking calmly beside him. The first time he had to wear the Nexus gear,he could've sworn he saw a blush on the Brit's face when he took off his shirt along with the rather strange looking smirk that came afterward. He also wondered as he remembered why Wade always felt the need to be SO close to him. It seemed like since he had joined the Nexus, Wade was pretty much always by his side or in his face. He thought hard and was unable to remember Wade ever leaving his side or letting him out of his sight,never even leaving him alone with any of the other Nexus members .John sat back down and buried his face in his hands,feeling even worse,mumbling out angrily in frustration,"Hell...if I didn't know any better...I swear....Wade was even....finding ways to always...be touchin me or somethin...it was weird...HE acted weird! But...did I...act weird too?"
John could barely remember,but it was almost like he felt content with Wade touching him and being constantly by Wade's side. Sure,he was humiliated all to hell,but Wade never really truly brutalized him, not like CM Punk tried to do to him. He gulped hard and finally breathed out into his hands roughly,"Fine...alright...FINE!! I...I was...HAPPY with the bastard!! Damn it!!" He had this sudden crazy urge to message Wade a reply back on his twitter, but what the hell would he say to him?? That he missed him?? That he wanted him to come back?? John shook his head hard,giggling out manically,"Oh,HELL NO! I will NOT tell Wade that....no matter...how true that is....damn it..."
Resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall,John got up to try and pack his stuff to rest up till next Monday. Already he was beginning to hate them again,strangely enough. However, when Wade was around,RAW was almost fun for him and he almost found himself looking forward to Mondays just for the simple reason that Wade Barrett would be there. Now,it just seemed so empty. That's how John felt right now inside,completely empty without Wade Barrett around. John sighed and casting a look around like he expected to be caught, he pulled from his bag two shocking things that no one in the WWE would ever believe he would've kept. He pulled out that very same Nexus shirt that Wade had given him along with the armband,again casting a glance around before looking down at it. He now noticed something weird about the armband. He gently turned it inside out,shocked to find that Wade had signed it for him.
John's brain again stopped working as he saw that crisp note along with the signature in silver permanent marker,"Cena,this will seh'rve as a reh'minder...that...yah proh'ved yahrself worthy t' be a pah'rt of Neh'xus and therefore...a pah'rt of me...DO NOH'T LEH'T ANYONE SEE THIS SIDE....this will be my lah'st dih'rect orh'der from me,Cena...This side...is meah'nt fo' yahr eyes onh'ly. Fah'rewell,John...
Wade Barrett."
John resisted the sudden urge to collapse,wondering when on earth Wade did this. He tried to think,but honestly, now his brain was completely scrambled at what Wade had wrote for him. 'What did Wade mean?' John thought, that I'm a part of him..? Wait...did he...does he?' John wanted to go bang his head on the wall again and scream. His heart was racing a million miles an hour and his mind was echoing with Wade's note,aching now for some reason to see or hear the Brit one last time. He held the armband up to his face,unaware that he was crying again,sobbing out almost in anger,"Damnit,Wade! Wh...What the hell are ya...doin to me??? WHY??? WHY??? YOU'RE NOT HERE AND YOU'RE STILL TORTURING ME!!! PLEASE!! STOP!!! JUST...STOP!!" John clutched the armband tighter and sank to his knees,gathering the Nexus shirt to him too in his grief.
John,for once,wanted to turn the clock back. He wanted to start this all over again,he decided. He wanted things back the way they were, not this sick twisted version where there was no Wade Barrett. He held his Nexus shirt close to him,glad as hell that they changed the shirt design after Wade left. He cried even harder, wanting so badly now to find Wade, for this was killing him on the inside. He thought wildly,'I wish I never left Nexus...I wish I never left Wade now...I wish he never left...I never wanted any of this...I can't...damn it..." He knew there was nothing he could do now,being trapped on RAW. Wade had moved on to Smackdown and would never come back to RAW,would never come back to him. He gulped down his tears and tenderly repacked his Nexus shirt. But this time,he did a crazy thing and almost lovingly slid the Nexus armband that Wade had signed for him high up on his bicep where no one would ever see it. Taking a deep shuddery sigh,John hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and left the arena quickly with his head down.
That Friday,John found himself doing something he never believed he would ever do. He settled himself in front of the TV in his hotel room and prepared to watch,of all things,Smackdown. He felt something weird happening in the pit of his stomach as the show started and if he didn't know any better,he could've sworn he was feeling butterflies. His breath immediately quickened as he saw Wade cutting his first promo about his new group,The Corre and going into a speech comparing himself to Julius Caesar. John then found himself giggling out like a little girl,"Oh,GOD,Wade! Come on!! You're not even close to Caesar. you're better AND hotter!" John stopped right there and facepalmed,grumbling out,"Ok...what the hell did I just say???" John shook his head and looked back on the screen,unable to take his eyes off the Brit again. John swallowed hard as he felt his heart speed up as he saw that familiar,arrogant smirk that he missed so much. He took in that rich,dark accent that he missed so much too like a man dying of thirst and again he felt tears run down his face. John bit his lip hard against the howl of despair that wanted to pour forth from his mouth at seeing Wade again yet being unable to be near him,to not be able to touch him.
John wanted to hit himself for feeling like this,not knowing what it was and it was freaking him out. He shakily mumbled out to himself,"What the hell is wrong with me?? Did I...fall...am I...fallin for him...??" He didn't know what to do now,torn between wanting to turn the TV off and go break something or watch Wade wrestle. He decided the latter and watched the rest of Smackdown,irrationally eager to watch Wade's match. John laid back on the bed after Smackdown ended,kinda not liking that Wade's match ended in a Nexus like beatdown on Wade's opponent,the Big Show but was somewhat amused by it too.John giggled out to himself again,"Hey..as long as I'm not the one on the receiving end this time...I aint even mad at all! But,DAMN, did Wade look good tonight!" John again shook his head and turned over to scream into his pillow,"DAMNIT!!! WHY DO I KEEP THINKIN BOUT HIM LIKE THAT??!?"John turned back over and bit his lip,thinking about that arrogant smirk that seemed to light up the room and instantly felt aroused. John gulped and swore,"Oh,goddamnit,come on now!! Just...no...no...not now....god...but his smile...just....damn..." John knew this was bound to happen sooner or later the more he thought about the Brit and would no longer be able to deny his feelings about how much the Brit turned him on or made him feel all fluttery like a woman. He gulped and decided that maybe a shower would help tame his out of control hormones.
John stepped into the uber hot shower and gasped at the pain of it. He knew he needed the pain to take his mind off of Wade Barrett though,cursing himself for ever deciding to turn that damn TV on now. He put his head against the shower wall though,still unable to get the mental image of Wade out of his mind and his accent still rang though there as well with haunting clarity. He licked his lips and closed his eyes,whimpering softly as he ran his hands down his body,wanting for some warped reason for this to be Wade's hands all over his body. He instantly heard Wade's voice in his mind as he remembered Wade ordering him to do different things for him before saying that in the end,he wanted him to scrub his back. John gasped loudly in desire at the thought of that as he grabbed his hard cock,wishing that he had had the chance to actually DO that for Wade. Now realizing Wade's subtle sexual innuendo thrown in there, John shuddered out in rapture,"Ohh..Wade...god..I would've...actually...done that for ya too...ya crazy bastard..."
John stroked himself harder and faster while also reaching behind himself to carefully insert his finger inside his entrance,crying out softly,"Wade!! Wade!! God...I wish this was....you doin this to me...please...I...can't...deny this...anymore...please!!" John cried out louder almost in hysterical sobs as he stroked himself faster to completion for his Brit while thrusting his finger faster and deeper inside himself,hearing Wade's voice haunting him,tormenting him,"Please,Wade!! Please!! Come...back!! I...I need you...so bad!! PLEASE!! Ohh...god!! Wade...Wade...WADE!!" He shuddered out his release through his tears and collapsed to the tub floor,burying his face in his hands.
John managed to drag his exhausted body to bed and curled up into a ball of grief,his heart hurting. He had not been able to stop crying since admitting to himself he had begun realizing his emerging hidden feelings for Wade Barrett. However,he knew he was too late to do anything about them and so he continued to just mourn the loss of his beloved Brit all over again,resigning himself to the fact that he would never see him again or get up the courage to tell him how he felt. With that,he cried himself into a restless nightmare-filled sleep where Wade Barrett haunted even his dreams now.
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