Unholy confessions of a vampire heart | By : nuclear000rainbow Category: Celebrities - Misc > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1301 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not know Ville Valo or any of the members of HIM, This is purely a work of fiction, I do not make any money writing this. Full disclaimer in chapter 1. |
*Lyrics used in this chapter: Killing loneliness by HIM. I do not own any of the lyrics used*
Dear diary. Last night was eventful, we got the chance to prove ourselves as worthy protectors of our coven. Making Harms proud and eliminating the risk of our family getting hurt. I can’t help but feel a tiny bit proud, Syn and Shadows most likely sharing my feeling. Our hunt for the berserker went better than expected after all! The bitemark above my collarbone not visible anymore and Shadows face were all healed before we entered the castle. Syn not even getting a scratch during the whole thing, lucky for us all, three rage crazed vampires with a thirst for blood would be testing our luck. Him keeping a clear head helping us stay in control. It’s weird how the coven thing works, we’re like bees in a way. Harms being the queen, the unchallenged leader, no one daring to go even question his actions. Not that any of us would, we love our creator, we all consider him our father! Gee, Christ, V and the Rev being the caregivers, and me, Syn and Shadows acting as the hives protectors. Our minds all connected through our blooded bond with Harms. I could never even ask for a better family, I adore them all! Well, my dear friend, I better run off again. It’s time to gather.
********
My long leather clad legs are carrying me through the winding hallways of the castle as I’m lost in thought. The flickering lights seem unreal as the shadows around them dance to a different rhythm than the flames. My voice carried by the echoes as I sing to them. It seems to be a habit most of us have developed after Gee entered our lives. His voice could be heard singing to the shadows of lost spirits at almost any given time, both day and night. I guess he’s been rubbing off on most of us. I’ve caught both myself, Shadows and Harms doing the same thing. All of us which are able to sing, lure people in like the sirens of the seas. The shadows seem to like it, Harms speaking of them being calmer, more at ease while being trapped in the world between. I think he’s right. I feel more at ease myself as long as I can hear the soft voices traveling through the darkness, making the shadows less threatening. “They seem to really enjoy your singing Ville” The voice of Christ startling me out of my thoughts. “They’re floating behind you like a snake, slithering along the floor” He giggles. Looking over my shoulder I can faintly see them, the swaying forms all in a neat row. “You should see them when Gee sings to them” I giggle. “They look like eager puppies, ready to follow his every command. The incubus blood of his must have some affect on them” The shadows slowly floating away as we speak, the trance broken as I stopped singing. “Who knows, you seem to have quite the control of them yourself” Christ whispers softly, his ever so shy smile still on his face. “They never even pay attention to me, they’re not interested in Syn or V either. The Rev on the other hand are speaking to them in some weird way, he’s kind of a medium to them, probably because of the way his mind works!” He giggles. “Well, as you said. Who knows! Come on sweetheart, lets go join the others!” Putting my arm around his shoulders, I start guiding us to the great hall. The only sound to be heard, the one from our soft hunting boots, a gentle rhythm against the hard stone floors.
The door to the great hall swinging open suddenly, the giggling face of our little Gee meeting us. “Aaaaaw Christ! What did he say to you this time? Your face is all red again! You need to stop blushing so much sweetie, you’re going to stay that shade some day!” One of Christs fists shooting out, hitting Gee in the shoulder hard but playfully. “He didn’t say anything Gee, stop teasing me! You’re no better you know!” He laughs, the red hue of his face deepening. “He’s right darling, you’re just as easily flustered as him!” I laugh out loud as Gees face turns red by the simple world of darling. What can I say? I like words of endearment! I like making them feel loved and cared for, it’s just my nature. Them turning crimson cheeked by it does not bother me at all! Winking at them I ruffle their hair up as I walk past them through the door, leaving them even more flustered. The guys already gathered in the room looking at them as they stumble through the door. Both trying to get their composure back and their faces back to normal. “And I thought Gee was the only incubus we had to watch out for!” Shadows mutters from his chair, Rev placed on his lap as always. The man on said lap choking on a mouthful of blood, sputtering it all over the table as he falls into a fit of laughter. “What do you mean, Gee is the only incubus amongst us?” Looking at him with a puzzled expression. The Rev finally calmed down enough to speak. “Ville, you got the boys wrapped so hard around your finger it would turn blue!” He cackles crazily, kissing Shadows cheek as the other nods in approval.
“He’s right you know” Syn cuts in. “You’ve changed so much the last year its almost crazy! You’re more confident than ever, you walk like you own the whole world. Your voice is deeper, your accent more pronounced. Your eyes are greener than ever and your sense of style is growing more daring every night. If you keep this up the whole village, men and women included will drool at your feet! Just like the two little devils of ours over there!” pointing over at Christ and Gee he snickers and winks at me. I guess he finds the changes positive at least! The so called devils looking at the floor trying to hide their faces, but their bright red ears betraying them both. “Well, I never meant to change this much” I giggle softly. “I never even thought of it, I just embraced the whole immortal thing after the last night with my so called father! If anyone is to blame, it’s you and your never ending supply of clothing ending up in my dresser!” I laugh, sending him a wicked smirk in return. “Don’t blame Syn for the never ending supply Ville, blame me for trying to spoil you all!” Harms laughing as he walks up to us. “I’m the one pulling the strings, he’s just the one with a love for shopping!” Syn actually blushing at Harms comment, but his wicked smirk showing no regret. “Cant blame Syn for having good taste!” V snickers from his position on Syns lap, looking up at his mate with pride shining in his eyes. “So Harms, any news from the village?” I ask, my curiosity killing me. Everyone else snapping to attention as Harms takes his seat at the table. “You did great Children, if that’s what you’re wondering!” Harms smirks as he gets more comfortable in his seat. “That little stunt you pulled with strapping him to the stake caused quite the stir according to our loyal servants! The scream the beast let out as the sun touched him was enough to wake the whole village, everyone close enough to the square got to see the bastard catch fire! The hunters claiming the honor as we knew would happen, claiming that putting the beast on the stake for the sun to burn was part of their plan. A warning to all us so called bloodsuckers to stay away! It’s almost a shame we can’t let the humans know what really went down. That us bloodsuckers are the ones keeping them safe at night by hunting down the bad seeds among them, taking down killers and rapists and evil doers as soon as we track them down!” He says, flashing us all an evil grin. We can’t do anything but agree, letting the humans know what actually happens as they slumber safely at night would be a thrill! But us being who we are, we do not have that kind of freedom. The threat of hunters will always be there, breathing down our necks. “So, does that mean that we’re safe now?” Christ whispers softly, fear evident in his voice. “No child, we’re never safe. And we need to stay hidden until this all blows over, no more hunting until the vampire hunters have left. We have to cope with the blood our trusted servants so willingly provide until that happens.” Harms speaks calmly, his voice soft tinged with sadness. Almost apologetic. “But what about the beasts, how are we supposed to tame them if we can’t roam free? What if the beast takes control?” Gee asks, shivering in his seat. All eyes going from him to Harms, worried glances being shared around the table. “I’ve never had to cope with a problem like this my child, we just have to see what happens. Do our best and keep the hope up I believe!” I look to Harms, his worried expression sending shivers down my spine. The hunting being what keeps us from giving in to the beasts being the main problem. I wrap my arms around the smaller ones at my sides, Gee and Christ hiding their faces against my chest. The rancid stench of fear and sorrow assaulting my nose. The hunt, that’s the main problem. My mind connecting the dots of thoughts not fully evolved. “It’s the hunt that keeps the beast at bay. Am I right?” I ask, looking over at Harms. The others staring at me with puzzled faces. “Yes child, the hunt is what satisfy our second nature.” He states calmly. Looking at one of the servants, I finally have an epiphany. “Hey sweetheart, yeah you! Come over here for a second!” I motion to the young servant by the door, sending him a reassuring smile as he slowly walk towards us. “No worries sweetheart, I just have a question! How many siblings do you have?” I ask softly, the boy looking at me with worried eyes. “Five my lord, all brothers…” His voice shaking. “and are they healthy and quick on their legs?” I ask again, my voice soft not to startle the boy any more than necessary. “Yes my lord, they’re the fastest runners among the children of the village.” He whispers. My smile widening as I can see everyone staring at me, probably thinking I’ve gone mad! Not understanding my reasoning or having the slightest idea of what I’m thinking! I giggle at them, earning worried glances from around the table and decide to continue my questioning. “So you got five brothers, they’re all fast runners and healthy…” I whisper softly, tilting his chin up to look him in the eyes as I’m about to drop the big question. A wicked smile grazing my lips as we make eye contact. “So, we need to hunt to keep the beast inside calm. You already heard that part of the conversation. Now, my last question. How would your brothers like to work for us for a while? We need to hunt, we can’t go outside. That’s our main problem. Would they be willing to catch us living pray, whatever they can capture and bring it here? We can hunt small pray through the hallways as well as we can hunt evil humans in the wild!” I giggle, the others bursting out in laughter at my idea. “I will have them bring over as many as they can capture tomorrow night my lord!” The boy looking relieved, even daring a small smile. “Run along my boy! Go to your brothers and tell them! You’ll still get your pay for the night!” Harms nods at him, a warm smile gracing his features. The boy sending us all a shy smile before running off. “You have the weirdest ideas Ville, and you’ll make a great leader one day! In all my years, I’ve never been able to find solutions as fast as you!” Harms laugh out loud, all the others joining in. “Hey, you always talk about the hunt as the important thing. I just figured that we don’t have to hunt humans!” I Giggle, the others sending me approving smiles. “Harms is right Ville, you would make a great leader some day! You find solutions for every problem, you’re always the one taking the lead on a hunt. And you’re willing to throw yourself into every kind of danger to protect the coven.” V states from his place in Syns lap. “You would all do the same V, we’re family!” I say softly, seeking eye contact with everyone around the table. The small ones at my sides staring at me with wide eyes, still tucked safely under my arms. The smell of fear slowly disappearing, but they still seem frightened. The threat of the hunters still present after all. I start humming to calm them down even more, the melody slowly turning into words in my mind. Both of them hiding their faces against my ribs as I start singing. The rest of my coven staring at me intently as I let the words flow.
“Memories sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness
Nailed to a cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
We disappear in the lie forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness
I'm killing loneliness
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness
I'm killing loneliness with you
Killing loneliness with you
Killing loneliness with you
(Killing loneliness)”
Finishing the last part of my singing in a soft whisper, I look down at the two and smile. Soft purring sounds emanating from them both, my task of calming them complete I believe as they both have fallen asleep. A sense of calm radiating through the whole room. “You never stop to amaze us Ville” shadows comments as he’s cradling Rev in his arms, said vampire snoring softly. “You sure he’s just part fallen Harms?” He snickers gently, running his fingers through Revs messy raven hair. “Only time will tell Shadows, there are lots of beings in this world that we do not know! But I share your doubts, his songs could put the wildest beast to sleep it seems!” Harms states, sending me a sideways glance before he looks down on the two I’m still cradling. A soft smile appearing on his face, pride shining from his eyes. “You adore them, don’t you Harms?” I ask softly, keeping my voice down not to disturb their sleep. “I adore you all Ville, you’re my soul reason of living.” He states softly. My mind begging him to continue, I wish he would tell us his story. The reason why we’re here. My eyes scanning his, my face probably a huge question mark as he nods his head. “The reason for me collecting you all here is the wish of my soulmate Ville. Vampires can never have children of their own, as you all already know. My mate who I lost too soon had only one wish and that was to have a family of our own, not just a coven but a family. No ranks, no alphas or betas. No rules of hierarchy, just a family! Everyone living together, being happy and most of all loved! When I lost him, all I wanted to do was let the sun burn me. End it all and hopefully find my love in the world between. But I was a coward, at least that’s what I thought at the time! Something kept holding me back, a tiny voice in the back of my mind kept telling me to hold on. Just go a bit further, travel for a few more nights. Wait for the next full moon, and the voice kept me going. My sorrow of loosing my mate never got any easier as the time went by, the deadly rays of the sun still tempting me. Until one day I heard the sound of someone crying, I could smell the pain a mile away! The air around me was reeking of it, that and fresh blood! The broken soul calling out for me as I ran to it, the voice tempting me with the sun finally silent, but the one telling me to keep going was roaring in my head! When I found him, I found my first reason to keep on living since my mate was murdered. Lying in the grass outside a rundown cottage, tears and blood smeared over bruised flesh. I can still remember the whimpering sounds coming from that broken body as I lifted him into my arms and carried him here, through the same doors I brought you through as well. The dull chocolate eyes staring into nothing as my servants cleaned him up. My first child, my first reason to live since they took my mate from me. My Synyster, my first pride and joy. My first son of many more to come. I remember every single story, their first introduction to the darkness. I love and adore you all just the same, as was the last wish of my mate.” He finishes softly, I can feel my crimson tears sliding from my eyes. The love radiating from Harms eyes enough to bath the room in warmth. Looking over at Syn I can see his tears falling freely, a soft smile caressing his face. I never knew he was the first one, the oldest of us all. “So that makes you my big brother, doesn’t it?” I ask softly, sending him a beaming smile. “I guess it does!” He beams back at me, Shadows sending us one of his beaming dimpled smiles. Looking at them all I cant help but wonder, I know my own age, I was turned only a year and a day ago. But I never even asked about them! “I never had the chance to ask you guys, how old are you really? I’m curious! I Look at these two as my baby brothers, and I don’t even know when they were born!” I giggle quietly. Harms snickering from his chair. “I was turned against my will at the age of 30, and I’ve been walking this earth for more than 300 years now Ville!” He laughs. The shock obvious on my face, it seemed unreal to me! “I was his first Child” Syn ads. “When my birth father beat me half to death it was my 19th birthday, that’s almost 60 years ago now!” He giggles, as he looks over at Shadows. “Your turn Shads!” Said vampire sending me a dimpled grin after Syns confession. “I was turned some time after my 20th birthday, they found me almost starved to death outside the tavern. That was just a year after Harms found Syn. We found Rev at the asylum two years after that, two years to late it seemed at the time. He was turned at the age of 21.” He finishes, looking back at Syn to continue. “We found V beat to a pulp outside the cemetery 15 years ago, poor kid had just turned 18. We brought him back here and nursed him back to health, hoping he would take up the offer Harms gave him. As you can see, he did! To my delight, we’ve been together ever since! Christ was dumped here at the steps only 5 years ago at the age of 17. His parents figured the rumors true and thought they could please “The Lord” with a virgin! Jokes on them, we gained a baby brother with a heart of gold!” Syn giggles, looking over at Christ still snuggled up against me. “You were all so young!” I state softly, feeling like an old man at the moment. “When you brought me here Harms, I had already had my 25th birthday!” I laugh out, the others looking at me in shock. “we thought you had barely reached your 18th year when you came here Ville!” Shadows points out. “You looked so young, so innocent!” His puzzled expression making me smile. “When you spend your life slaving at a farm, looking at life like it was through a window, not being able to join in, frozen out by society for looking different. You would be an innocent by heart too Shadows! I Never knew what life outside the borders of the farm were like. I was a prisoner until Harms took me away from that place!” I speak softly, sending Harms a grateful smile. He would never understand the freedom he gave me when he gave me this new start in life. Or should I say death? Feeling a movement at my left side as one of my baby brothers start to stir brings me back to the real world, my chain of thoughts broken. I look down at the confused face of Gee, his eyes wide as he suddenly sits up straight. Making me move to quickly, startling Christ at the same time. “You need to stop singing Ville, you knock us out every time you do!” The sleepy voice of Christ making us all giggle. His face showing his confusion as he looks around the room. “How long was I out for?” “Not that long sweetheart, you seemed like you needed it thought!” “Oh, did we miss anything?” Gee pipes up, ending his question with a yawn. “Not at all darling, just us older guys having a conversation. Nothing of importance to you two” I state calmly, feeling no need of pressuring Harms into repeating his story. And there is no need to put another damper on the mood tonight. The servants entering the hall with goblets full of blood pulling our thoughts in other directions after all. We’re all starving for the blood they provide us at the moment.
Harms nodding his approval as we all grab our goblets, devouring it all in minutes. Trying to sate our thirst as fast as possible to keep the beasts at bay. The three of us who went hunting the other night already at risk after missing a meal. The hunger making itself known by the deep growls tearing through our throats as we gulp down the thick red liquid. Barely enough to cover our needs. The goblets empty way to fast for us all and I can see Syn biting down at V’s wrist at the corner of my eye. Shadows probably in the same position at the Revs. I envy them, I can only dream of finding my mate some day. And from what I’ve been told, it takes a great deal of luck to find your other half. Looking down at my empty goblet I can’t help but sigh. The hunger still tearing through my body. I guess I will have to hunt down some rats in the basement, in a time of need everything goes! Looking up from my goblet I find two pairs of hazel eyes staring at me with worry, studying my every move. “I’m alright darlings, just a bit hungry! I’ll just go and hunt down some rats in the dungeon later on!” I say quietly, a smile plastered on my face. A smile that disappears quickly as two pale wrists are presented to me, almost showed in my face. “No rats Ville, you’re our brother, we’ll feed you!” Christ whispers, Gee just looking at me with determination. “I don’t want to hurt you sweethearts” The temptation of their blood making my stomach flip. “You wont Ville, you can have a little from the both of us. A little goes a long way” Gee states, showing his wrist closer to my mouth. Grabbing his pale hand I study his eyes, looking for any trace of doubt. Finding nothing but quiet determination I allow myself to sink my fangs into the pale soft flesh. Only allowing myself a couple of mouthfuls before I pull away, sealing the wounds before Christ reaches out his arm, offering his blood to quench my thirst. Repeating the prosses by making sure he’s okay and only allowing myself a couple of mouthfuls. Wrapping my arms around the both of the as I lean back in my chair, I close my eyes. Allowing the feeling of their blood settle the beast within. “Thank you sweethearts” I whisper quietly, being rewarded with soft giggles. Both of them blushing furiously as I smile at them. “No problem at all Ville!” They both say in unison. Both of them seeming quite happy with themselves, most likely for being able to help one of the ones considered stronger than them. The next hours seem to pass by in a blur, sharing funny stories amongst ourselves to pass the time. All of us counting the hours in our minds, waiting for the sun to rise. The Rev just finishing his story about how he got his name at the asylum, telling a detailed description of the priest trying to exorcise him as they thought he were possessed. How the his birthname always made him angry, so he ended up climbing the walls, shouting out “My name is The Reverend Tholomew Plague!” While looking down at the priest from the sealing of the tiny cell. All of us laughing at his antics while he speaks, arms waving around like some crazy Italian with spasms! We all calm down after a while, feeling the approaching daylight in the back of our minds. Harms standing up, motioning for us all that it’s time to go to sleep. All of us walking quietly through the hallways, people leaving for their respected rooms. It’s been a long night after all! “Good night sweethearts” I whisper, ruffling the hair on my baby brothers heads as I leave them in the hallway. Yawning as I peel of the tight leather I’m wearing before slipping into the soft silk sheets, letting the cool silk wrap around me as I drift of. It’s been a long night.
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