Whispers In The Night | By : TheFairyWithBoots Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Iron Maiden Views: 173 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: l obviously do not own any of the characters in this story. No disrespect is intended towards any of the real people mentioned, it is simply a fictional story based off their public personas. |
Dave watched as the clouds flew past him as he stared outside the aeroplane window. Everyone had been very quiet ever since Bruce, Steve, and Nicko had got into an awful spat again back at the hotel earlier this morning. Things had been on edge for a few months now, and Dave tried to stay away from it all. He hated confrontation.
When he wasn’t fighting with Steve and Nicko, Bruce had hardly spoken to any of them except for Janick, his best friend. But now even Jan was not exempt from Bruce’s coldness. Dave looked over the seats at them. Bruce was staring out the window, almost appearing to be sulking. Janick was wearing an uncharacteristically sombre expression as he stared down at the book he was reading.
Dave couldn’t help but feel a slight bit of disappointment that Jan was not over there sitting with him. They had become best mates, and he was the only person Dave felt comfortable talking to ever since Adrian had left the band, and everyone else in the band had felt tension towards Bruce. And ever since Bruce had thrown Janick out of their hotel room at two in the morning last week, Dave had felt even angrier at him. Janick was the last person who deserved his scorn. He had a slight ache in his heart as he remembered the hurt look on Janick’s face as he tried to contemplate what he had done to make Bruce want to leave the band.
Ever since Janick had told him that, Bruce’s distant attitude made a lot more sense to Dave. He seemed like he was sick of all of them. But what hurt Dave even more was that Bruce was planning to go and work with Adrian once he left.
Dave wanted to go over and talk to Jan and comfort him as Bruce was giving him the cold shoulder, and let him know that it wasn’t his fault, no matter what Bruce told him. He looked hyper-fixated on his book as if he were to break his attention and catch a glimpse of Bruce, he would burst into tears. Dave could tell that he needed someone to talk to. It wasn’t like Bruce to just give his best friend the cold shoulder like this. Janick was the last person who deserved it.
As they flew further east into Europe, the mood in the plane grew more sombre. Dave watched as the other four members of the band looked out the windows as they silently stared out at the clouds. They sat quietly, as if anyone were to say a word, another argument may start. Janick was still holding onto his book tightly in front of him. He was trying hard not to let the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes escape.
The plane landed in Mannheim. Dave reached above himself to grab his carry-on from the overhead bin.
As they walked through the airport, Janick kept his head down, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. Bruce had immediately walked away from him once he retrieved his luggage from the conveyor belt.
Bruce had been acting strange ever since Adrian had left, but had only got worse since the beginning of this tour. During live shows, he seemed to be deliberately singing without any passion or conviction just for the sole purpose of pissing off Steve. But at least then, he was still on friendly terms with Janick. Now he wasn't even speaking to him…
After Steve ushered them all into a taxi, the atmosphere between the five of them seemed even tenser than ever. Bruce glared out the window as the buildings rushed past them. Nicko was glaring at Bruce as if he was looking for any excuse to deck him. Dave was stuck awkwardly in the middle between Steve and Nicko until they reached the hotel.
After the taxi dropped them off in front of the hotel, the five of them filed into the lobby. Rod, their manager, had got there before they had, and was already at the front desk checking them in. He turned around, his round, jolly face lighting up when he saw them, pretending not to notice the tension between Bruce and the rest of the band. He waved his hand in a beckoning motion, and Steve walked over to him. Bruce walked over to stand next to the elevators to avoid everyone else. Nicko glared after him before announcing that he was going to find a payphone to call his wife and check up on his son. This left Dave and Janick alone together in the lobby.
Neither one of them said anything to each other for several minutes while people passed by them on either side of the elevator. Then finally, Dave decided to break the silence. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.
Janick turned to look at him. His grayish-blue eyes met Dave’s. He looked tired, as if he had not slept all week.
“Yeah,” he said, glancing towards the elevators where Bruce was standing. “It's just… Bruce has hardly spoken to me all week…”
“He's been like that with all of us,” Dave said, noticing the pained look in Janick's eyes. “It isn't your fault, Jan.”
Janick looked as if he would burst into tears at any moment. Dave silently reached for his hand. Janick looked over at him gratefully, squeezing his hand. He smiled slightly, then looked away, unable to meet Dave's eyes.
Steve and Rod approached them while holding the room keys.
“We have a show in two hours,” Steve announced, casting a glance towards Bruce, who slung his backpack over his shoulder to meet them in the lobby. Rod handed him his room key and Bruce took it without saying a word. He opened the flap to look at the number and frowned.
“I'm bunking with Jan?” Bruce said without even glancing Janick's way.
“Is that a problem?” Rod asked, raising his eyebrow as if daring him to start a conflict here in the middle of the lobby full of people.
This time, Bruce did look at Janick. Jan was looking up at him as if he was expecting him to start yelling at him. Dave suddenly felt his anger towards Bruce grow. Bruce glared at him for several seconds before taking the spare key out and tossing it at him.
“No.” He picked up his luggage and stormed off towards the elevator. Janick stared after him, hesitant to get up and follow him.
Steve seemed determined to ignore Bruce's horrible attitude and handed Dave the key to his room. “Here you go, Davey. You get your own room. I'll be bunking with Nicko. Where is he, anyway?”
"He went to find a payphone to call his wife," Dave said while picking up his luggage and guitar case. "I'll see you guys at the show, I'm going to call Tamar and check on the baby." He looked over his shoulder at Jan. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Jan nodded and gave him a half-hearted smile. Steve and Rod headed towards the lifts, muttering between each other so that the others couldn’t hear them.
Once inside the elevator, Dave pressed the button for his floor. A few seconds later, the lift began moving upwards slowly. He watched the numbers change as the floors moved by. The lift finally reached the fourth floor and Dave made his way down the long corridor towards his room with his guitar case by his side. There was a small bronze number on the door which read '431'. When he pushed open the door, he found a large bed covered in white sheets and a duvet. Two armchairs stood against the wall opposite the bed. A small sofa sat in front of a tube television. Dave set his guitar case and luggage down and went and turned on the lamp on the bedside table that illuminated the room slightly. He sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up the white landline phone and dialled his home number to check on his wife and daughter.
---
After they finished playing the show, Janick made his way back up to his room carrying his guitar case. Even though Bruce had been distant with everyone - even him - the show went fairly well. Steve had seemed rather disappointed by Bruce's performance, and they could be heard bickering about it in the dressing rooms. Janick slipped off back to the hotel before he could get dragged into the argument.
He set his guitar case down and went into the bathroom to take a shower to wash the sweat and grime off of himself. He was beginning to come down from the high of the adrenaline he had got while performing. As he scrubbed at himself vigorously, his mind drifted back to the fight he had with Bruce last week, and the hurt that he felt when he told him to get out of their room.
There had been so many times that Bruce was treating him differently during rehearsal since he had announced to him that he was planning to leave the band. His attitude was only getting worse, and he couldn’t understand it. They had been close friends for over a decade.
After his shower, he dried off and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. The door to the bedroom opened and Bruce came in, still wearing his stage clothes. He appeared to be irritable, but even so, Janick couldn't understand why he was glaring daggers into him.
"Hey," Janick said while running a comb through his hair, trying not to seem hurt by his cold and distant behaviour.
Bruce stared at him for a moment, his brow furrowed. Bruce often had a warm look of affection in his brown eyes when he looked at his best friend, but tonight they had a cold, resigned look in his eyes.
"Paddy's coming here tonight, and she's bringing both boys." he said after a few moments of silence between them.
"Oh, that's great! Do you want me to babysit again while you two go out...?" It would be the first time Bruce's wife would be coming on tour with them since she had given birth to their second son.
Bruce sighed as if he was attempting to explain something to a child. "No, Jan. I can't have you staying here tonight."
Janick felt his heart sink. Bruce was kicking him out of the room again? He had never had a problem having Janick around his family before... And if he had intended to bring his wife and kids on tour, why didn't he request to switch rooms with Dave so that he didn't have to share with anyone else in the band?
“I'm going to get a shower,” Bruce said while taking his leather jacket off and throwing it over the couch. He lifted his shirt over his head and went into the bathroom. He talked over his shoulder without looking at Janick. “You can go stay with one of the others.” Though he didn't come out and say it, Janick figured that was his way of telling him to be gone by the time he got out.
Janick fought back tears as he gathered his luggage and guitar case and made his way down the hall to Dave's room. He lingered in the hallway for a few minutes, burying his face in his hands. Bruce had not raised his voice at him this time, but the cold, resigned look in his eyes had pierced him. Janick could understand why he and Steve had been at each other’s throats. But why him? Why was Bruce treating Janick - his best friend - like this…? What had he done?
Janick wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat. He picked up his bags, and knocked on the door of Dave’s room. The TV could be heard when he stood close enough to the door. He heard some shuffling around before Dave’s round, boyish face appeared in the doorway.
“Hey, mate, he said while glancing down the hallway, “What's up?”
Janick shrugged. “I thought maybe you wanted some company. Am I interrupting something?”
Jan could tell that Dave immediately saw through him. He shook his head. ”No. I just got off the phone with Tamar…” He looked down at the suitcase and guitar case at Janick’s side, and a mixture of pity and anger could be seen in his eyes.
Janick stared at his feet, shuffling them nervously. “Bruce said…he needed the room for his family…”
Dave knew that was a stupid reason to kick Janick out because Bruce had never had a problem with Janick babysitting his kid. Janick was about to burst into tears as Dave ushered him inside.
“C'mon, Jan,” Dave said softly, taking his guitar case from him. Once the door was closed, Dave pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly in an attempt to bring him some comfort. Janick buried his face in Dave's shoulder and hugged him tightly, trying hard not to cry.
“He knew I couldn’t refuse to leave… I know how much his family means to him… but this seemed so sudden… As if he just wanted a reason to kick me out...”
Jan felt slightly better as he felt Dave stroke his hair slightly in an attempt to sooth him. He wanted to let the tears fall from his eyes, but felt weak enough as he was…
“Let’s go down to the hotel bar,” Dave said while releasing him, “It was a long show, and a few drinks will make you feel better. And you can stay here tonight.”
Jan nodded, too embarrassed to meet Dave’s eyes. What would he do without a friend like Dave? Being hugged by Dave after staring into Bruce’s cold, resigned expression felt like a much-needed wave of warmth after a week of emotional drought. But right then, he felt so weak, so vulnerable. Like he was going to start crying like a baby any moment and Dave was the one who was going to be burdened with him.
But Janick knew that Dave would never look at him as a burden - or at least not make it known that he was. He was the most gentle person he had ever met. But that feeling of guilt never left the back of his head.
The two of them made their way down to the hotel bar. It was packed with people tonight, and neither of them were in the mood to be bombarded with fans, however much they loved and appreciated them. They both took their seats at the bar, and the brunette bartender started speaking to them in German. After seeing the confused looks on their faces, she cleared her throat.
“Sorry,” she said, “What can I get you?”
“Just a couple of your best beers, thank you.” Dave said while giving her a wholesome smile.
Janick felt comforted by Dave’s presence, but still could not get the image of Bruce’s cold stare out of his mind. Dave reached for his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. Jan couldn’t stop a slight smile from spreading across his lips.
The bartender came back and set their beers down in front of them, and gave them a very wide smile. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. My name is Julia.”
Dave smiled and thanked her, and she giggled and walked away. She definitely knew who they were, Janick realized.
“So, how have things been going?” Dave asked.
Janick thought that it should have been obvious that he had been emotionally distraught because of Bruce’s plans to leave once the tour was over, and the fact that he was just refusing to talk to him, and kicking him out of his sleeping quarters unexpectedly. But Dave was just trying to make conversation.
“Fine,” he said, though he was indeed not fine, and the word sounded hollow to his own ears. “How is your family?”
Dave’s face seemed to glow up as he talked about his wife and daughter back in Hawaii. His daughter was just a baby, and though their touring schedule had calmed down in comparison to their schedule before Janick had joined the band, he was still upset that he could not spend as much time with her, and that she was too young to come on tour. Janick’s first thought was of Bruce’s son, who had been born that year. He was even younger than Dave’s daughter, and Bruce still found a way to bring him on tour. But he kept these thoughts to himself as he sipped on his beer.
At that moment, Nicko entered the bar. He grinned when he saw Dave and Janick, and smiled when he realized that Bruce was not with them.
“Davey! Jan!” he exclaimed while pulling up a stool to sit between them, draping an arm around both of their shoulders, “How have ye two blokes been, eh? Gettin’ drunk without me!? Oh now, that just won’t do. Two more beers, please!” he called to Julia, who smiled enthusiastically when she recognized the drummer, “Steve’s joining us here in a minute,” he said to Jan’s confused expression. “What, ye think I’d be drinkin’ doubles?” He let out a boisterous laugh, and clapped Jan on the back, knocking him forward.
Steve entered the bar a few minutes later. Nicko had already downed his first beer by the time he joined them. Steve was looking rather tense and grabbed the beer offered to him as if it was some sort of life-giving elixir.
What Jan thought would have been one-on-one time with Dave turned out to be the four of them getting shitfaced together. He didn’t mind since it took his mind off of Bruce, and the beers began to numb his mind. He watched as Steve slowly started to loosen up, something that he had not done the entire tour.
After the beer had left him pleasantly buzzed, but not stumbling drunk, Dave and Janick told the other two that they were going to turn in for the night.
Steve was leaning up against Nicko with his arm draped around his shoulder, very obviously pissed, giggling hysterically at something Nicko had said. Janick thought for a moment that they looked like lovers from this angle, but then shook the thought out of his head, dismissing it as the beer messing with him. Nicko looked up at them, steadying Steve so that he did not fall over.
“You’re not bunkin’ with Bruce?” Nicko asked, “Where’d he go?” Though, his tone gave off that Nicko could not give a shit where Bruce went.
“He said his wife and kids are coming, and that I couldn’t be sharing a room with them.”
“Eh!? Griffin’s just a few months old. He ain’t old enough to come on tour!”
“Yeah…well, Bruce must have found a way…” Jan said awkwardly.
“Listen, Jan, I’m pretty sure he’s lying to you, and - ARGH! GET OFFA ME, ‘ARRY!”
Steve fell on his side, laughing hysterically, as Nicko wiped at the inside of his ear with a napkin. He had apparently stuck his tongue into Nicko’s ear.
“A’right, ‘Arry’s pissed, so I’m gonna carry him back to the room.” He hauled Steve to his feet, who swayed slightly. “I’ll see you blokes in the mornin’, eh!?”
Janick nodded as Nicko led Steve out of the bar, and towards the lifts in the lobby. That left him alone with Dave.
The two of them made their way back upstairs in silence. They were both pleasantly buzzed from the beer, but fortunately did not need to carry the other. Janick felt a lot better having spent time with the others. But he couldn’t get what Nicko said out of his head; had Bruce really lied to him? If he did not want to share a room with him any more, he would have rather he just told him…
Dave unlocked the door to his room, and they both went inside. It wasn’t very late, and even though the beer had calmed him down, Janick’s pulse was still racing from earlier tonight. He was relieved when Dave got out his guitar and suggested that they work on some riffs together.
Jan opened his guitar case and sat on the sofa with the black Fender strat that Ian had given him a decade before. Dave sat next to him and the two of them came up with new riffs and guitar harmonies together. Jan thought about plugging his amp in to be able to hear his mistakes better, but knew that it was not a good idea at this hour, as the rooms beside them would be disturbed by the noise.
As Dave scribbled some chord progressions down in a notebook to remember later, Janick quietly remembered when a week before, Dave had become so terrified of the thunder, that Jan had to hold him until he calmed down. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like such a burden for needing comfort when Bruce had turned him away. He absent-mindedly plucked out a melody as Dave looked down at his notebook.
Jan played the same melody over and over again as he felt it resonate with him. The melody carried a feeling of melancholy, and it reminded him of how he was feeling right then. Alone and anxious, scared about the possibility of being abandoned when Bruce decided to leave. He stopped playing and his brow furrowed. He looked at Davey scribbling away in his notebook, and wondered if this was how he felt when Adrian had left. If he had felt scared, alone, and abandoned.
Though, it wasn’t comparable. Adrian had left because of creative differences. He still had contact with both them. Adrian didn’t fucking ghost Dave, and shut him out, making him question if he had done something wrong or not. What Bruce was doing to him was borderline emotional abuse, he realized with a crushing weight in his chest.
And the crushing feeling only increased as he realized that he was never going to replace Adrian in Dave’s life. Adrian meant as much to him as what Bruce did to Janick, and he was never going to be able to change that, no matter how much he grew to love Davey.
Janick suddenly became aware of how tired he was. With the buzz of the alcohol and his sudden urge to cry himself to sleep, he felt like he could fall asleep right on that couch… He put his guitar away and rubbed his eyes sleepily.
Dave looked up from his notebook and smiled wholesomely. “You tired?”
Janick nodded, and grabbed a cushion. “Thanks for letting me stay over, Dave…” he yawned.
“You don’t have to thank me, Jan. You’re my best friend, and you would have done the same for me…” Janick was about to curl up on the couch, but Dave shook his head. “Nonsense, there’s enough room in the bed for both of us…”
“But…”
Dave tugged him up by his wrist. “The couch isn’t very comfortable.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t want Dave to hold him, he just felt like he was asking for too much. Again, that he was a burden to him.
But as the lights switched off and Davey’s warmth enveloped him in a cocoon of comfort that he desperately needed, Janick knew that he would not want to sleep anywhere else. Dave wanted him to feel safe.
Dave gently moved him to the bed and laid beside him. After making sure that Janick was warm and secure, he curled an arm around him. As he pulled the covers over them both, he felt Janick shift against him.
Jan felt soothed as Dave stroked his hair ever so slightly. "It's okay, Jan..."
He couldn't help but cling to him. He had felt so anxious, alone, and cold all weak, the warmth was something that he so desperately craved. And after everything that had happened, he needed that warmth so badly.
“Hey, Davey...?” Janick asked in a small voice.
“Hmm?” Dave replied, pressing a gentle kiss against the top of Jan’s head. Jan felt his face involuntarily scrunch up at the sensation, and the tears that he had been fighting off all week began to fall from his face.
“Thank you...for everything.” he said, his voice cracking.
Dave squeezed him tighter. “Anytime, Jan. Hey..." He began to wipe Jan's tears away. “It's okay, you don't have to cry..."
“No," Jan sniffed, "I'm sorry…" he tried to say it without breaking down again, but failed miserably. His throat burned as he struggled to breathe properly through the constriction.
"Shh..." Dave held onto him tighter and rubbed his scalp gently. "It's okay..."
The steadiness of Dave's breathing and his pulse eventually calmed Janick down. Long periods of time passed as they lied there silently, holding each other in the dark. Janick's breathing became easier, and Dave's warm arms felt like a warm cocoon of solace around him.
Eventually, Dave's heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest made Janick unable to resist the lull of a deep sleep that finally claimed him.
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