If I Never Knew You

Things were black and silent. She felt empty inside; she couldn’t feel her body, she couldn’t feel anything at all. Suddenly, a voice boomed. “Wake up, it’s time to wake up now.” As she opened her eyes, there was blinding light all around her. She woke to white everywhere, and a blue orb was shining before her. She timidly asked, “What’s going on? Where am I?” Then she had a sudden jolt go through her, “The kid, someone help the kid, he!” “Calm yourself,” the blue light said. Then it continued, “Thanks to you, the child is safe. He ran to the road and help arrived, the man was caught shortly after.” “They’re safe, thank God, but...” Then it hits her. She remembered she heard cries in the woods, and as she got closer, a man was beating a child. She rushed to his aid, and he brandished a knife. She used all her strength and held his arms while screaming for the child to run. The man stabbed her, and maybe it was adrenaline, but she kept screaming for the child to run, and the man kept stabbing, then everything went dark.

                She shrieked, “My God, I’m dead.” “Yes, you are.” “Are you God?” “I am the time keeper. This is the afterlife, but you will find that no religion has gotten it completely right about what comes after. It was not your time; you selflessly gave your life for another, you get a redo.” “A redo, as in I live my life over?” “If that’s what you wish, or you can live a certain point in time from the past. Any time, you can start completely over or at a fixed point in age. No more older than you are now and not the future.” She was at a loss for words, but she thought of her life. It wasn’t terrible, and it wasn’t great either. She walked away from acting for a business degree, and when someone from her old comedy troupe became famous, she spent her days in regret. Things constantly got in the way of her trying again. When her dad left her mom, her mom got sick. She put love, kids, and even a 2^nd attempt to be a screenwriter on hold. To find out that her mom faked her many illnesses as she didn’t want to be alone. To say she felt disgust with her mother was an understatement. She had to remind herself that it was her mother or turn to hatred.

                She thought for just a moment, and it came to her like a bolt of lightning. “How detailed can I be?” she asked. “As detailed as you like.” “If I choose a different time period, what will happen with the child?” “That is now a fixed point; the kidnapping will never happen, the assailant will be killed in a car crash, taking your place in the fixed point.” “What is the catch?” “If things don’t work out as planned, you can always say undo, but every action will reset as if you never arrived. You will come back here. Beware that you lived a semi-virtuous life; there is no guarantee you will be eligible for the afterlife. The alternative is the dark realm where you must repent and suffer for every day that you lived. Every day will be pure torment before you are eligible again. You will also have your memories; it will cause you great pain if you don’t relive your life. Do you accept?” “I do.” “What is your choice?” “I want to be a part of Monty Python, as one of their writers, sometimes on screen, during the 2^nd season. I graduated from Juilliard early, and I will be a successful screenwriter. Also…” “Go ahead.” “Can the Pythons be single? I want to see which one I have a shot with. I know that’s selfish, but I have to see. Make their future wives their best friends. Is this too crazy?” “Yes, it is, but it’s possible.” “It is, but if that is your wish, just say redo.” She thought hard; besides being black in 1969, she felt this was the best choice, and then she said, “redo!”

                Suddenly, there was a swirl, and she felt as if she were being lifted, and everything went black. A voice could be heard, “Wake up, please wake up!” It sounded almost like, “Michael Palin.” Suddenly, 5 men were staring down at her with concern in their eyes, and strong arms held her. His eyes were hazel, his lips were soft, and his eyes were teary. He spoke, “Yes, it’s me. Are you okay? You just fainted.” Then a tall blond man who smelled of pipe smoke approached, “Let me check her, she had a bad fall.” It was Graham Chapman, and there he was in doctor's mode, checking her over. She knew he was gay, but couldn’t help blush at the handsome man being so attentive to her. “Seems alright, seems you overextended yourself.” Next, it was Eric Idle to speak: “How many times do I have to tell you to take it easy, goofball?” Then John said, “Oh, stop it, it means she’s working hard, come on, you’re alright now.” John extended his large hand, and she took it. So warm when she stood, she was in awe of how much he towered over her. He looked down at her, smiling, and her heart melted. Terry Jones went to hug her, “I was so worried.” She blushed as she was in his warm arms. John pulled him away from her, “Give her air, Mr. Sensitive.” The two men looked at each other crossly. She asked, “Where’s Terry Gilliam?” Terry, who was behind her, spoke up, “What’s up with the first and last name basis, Patricia Keaton?” She blushed and remembered she is now the 7th Python and has known them for years. Memories flooded through her instantly of all the time she spent with them. She quickly started over, “Sorry, Terry.” She suddenly remembered they called him Terry, but called Terry J, Jonesy. He smiled sweetly and said, “No problem, Patty.” She instantly recoiled; she hated her name shortened, but then she remembered that only Terry called her that. He told her that Patricia was too English, and that, as the only  2 American, Patty sounded much more American, and only he was allowed to call her that.

                She felt warm, she felt at home, and there she smiled at all 6 of them. Monty Python.