Surrounded by numbness

BY : sherg
Category: Dir en grey > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 1002
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Disclamer: All right boys and girls. I don’t own anyone or get any money of this. Shit.

Notes: Okay, I’m too fucking obsessed with Kyo. I can admit it.
So, I wanted to write a little fic to see how would he turn out to behave with a girl. He turned out to be… Damn! I say no more, you see for yourself.
Lately my fluffy/angsty/desperate romance side has taken over me. Writing lemon had become more difficult so I'm doing these other kind of fics instead. Hope you like them.
Please, I would like to hear your opinion about Diru with a girl –fanfics. Do you read them, hate them or what’s the deal? If you do, then what kind of other fics do you like to read? A little word of my story would be more than highly appreciated. Thanks!
(koibito/koi=lover)


Surrounded by numbness


”Hello koibito,” Kyo said behind her and pressed his nose towards girl’s neck.
His hands glided slowly but eagerly down the other’s stomach towards her lap and the hem of her skirt.
She stepped away from him but Kyo noticed her fastened breathe.
“Well well,” she said blushing a little and straightening her clothes. “Hello to you too.”

“What have you been doing while I was away?” Kyo asked folding his arms and leaning to the wall behind him.
The girl felt his black eyes gaze following her every move.
She felt a bit annoyed and she didn’t know was it because of Kyo’s goddamned attitude or the way that attitude made her knees went weak. ‘Get a grip you moron!’

“I was at work as always,” she answered.
“Did you have good time there, koi?”
“Yeah. I loved it,” she whispered crumpling her eyebrows which made the boy smile amused.
She stared the wall for a second considering how to put it. Then she just decided to say it how it was the sim-plest way to say.
“Kyo. We’re not together. Why do you call me your lover?”
His sparkling eyes made her want to lower her gaze but she didn’t.
The boy’s eyes brought memories into her head. Rotten and aching memories. Sweet memories. Memories full of lust.

As usual he didn’t answer straight away to her question.
“Do you know why I liked you father so much even when he tried to separate us and talked so much shit about me to you behind my back?”
She raised her eye brows and shook her head.
“He was so lousy figuring things out. I mean, I’m still surprised he didn’t actually realize what we were doing in your bathroom that one time.”
She remembered. They had been so turned on. They had lost their virginity to each other that day.

“We really had it going back then,” he said.
“We were just horny. Nothing more. And my dad’s hearing had already then gone worse. So it’s not just that some things don’t open up to him. Do you really think it would be the first thing to pop into his head when he is trying to think what the noise is?”
“Of course it’s not. Because that would be totally perverted,” Kyo said and moved closed nodding.
“So, though we’re not together we used to be,” he pointed out and drew an invisible line to her cheek with his finger.
The girl tried to dodge but he followed her.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Why are you dodging?” the boy asked back.
She stopped and he walked slowly to her side.
“Am I making you nervous?”

Of course he was but she wasn’t going to admit it.
Kyo looked her with his beautiful eyes a little smile shivering on the corner of his lips. His breathe caressing her cheek smelled softly a bit of cigarettes as always.
She looked at him sighing.
“Piss off,” she said with friendly voice and moved further.
It made him laugh. His mellow voice filled the room.
She knew what he was up to. He wanted to play. He wanted to make her feel good. She knew he really had the skills that were needed for it.
But was it all that he wanted?
Yes she was nervous. Because she still had feelings for him. She realized this and could admit it to herself but not to Kyo. It would give him too much power over her. It would be too easy for him to make her do as he wanted and say yes.

She looked outside from the window and thought it a bit.
Yes, she really did want to say yes. Hell, she was ready to scream his name if needed. She wanted to feel his smooth arms around her again. Just once more. Even if it didn’t matter to him more than some fun. They had had that something between them but it was years ago. They had been kids back then. But she knew she was more than one night kick for Kyo. He still liked her. It wasn’t love or anything like that. But it was better than nothing, right? Why not have fun now when he still wanted? When she still had a chance. A chance to feel something.

The rain fell from the grey clouds and drummed the glass before her.
She hadn’t notice that Kyo had moved to stand behind her looking worried.
“Are you sad?” he asked pushing his hands to her hair.
‘Yes, I am,’ she answered in her mind. ‘I’m so sad because I can’t have you anymore. Not the same way as I used to have every piece of you. I was holding your heart and you were holding mine and all I could do was to pray you wouldn’t hold it too tight. You’re still holding some parts of it. So where ever you’ll go I’m with you. Why wouldn’t you give those pieces back to me? Because are you sure I’m able to give my heart to anyone else before you hang those pieces away?’

“It rains – of course I’m sad,” she pointed out and turned.
‘I wanna Lala in the kitchen on the floor,’ he had said one time and locked a steady hold of her arms.
‘That statement describes him well,’ she thought when seeing his drowsy expressions.
“Don’t be sad. We are both here.”
‘That’s part of the problem you know,’ she thought.

She found herself muttering something and her gaze gliding down on his arms.
‘So what if he’s going to do ‘A wham bam thank you maam’ to me? You can only try to memorize how good it’s going to feel. Like there would be too much pleasure in your life.’

Suddenly door opened and a little girl ran in and hung up to her legs.
“Mom, Granny came to took me now,” she stated.
Her mother didn’t move her gaze from a man standing before her. Kyo stared back for a moment but looked then little girl smiling.
“Where’s your dad, darling?”
“He’s already waiting in the car.”
“Okay then. Bye bye and be a good little girl. We’ll see on Monday, right? Say hi to Granny from me.” She hugged her daughter who said farewells and ran out waiving her hand. They heard the door closing downstairs.
“Beautiful kid. Looks just like you,” he said.
“She’s a good girl.”
“Good as his dad, your husband, isn’t she?”
“Leave him out of this,” she said pressing her fist closed.

She felt frustrated. She whished he would stop talking about her husband. That he would stop thinking of him. Like she had a time ago.
“Leave him out of where?” he asked.
“Out of this where we are. You and me.”
Kyo’s eyes widened and he smiled a bit.
“I have to warn you now. That could be interpreted as an invitation.”
“Interpret it as you like,” she said softly and felt relieved.
Kyo moved closer and smoothed her arm.
“Let’s make this clear right away girl. I don’t want to have sex with you,” he said and looked in to her eyes inten-sively,”but I desperately need to make love with you.”

She bowed her head and touched his soft lips with her own. He answered to her moves and raised his arm around her. She felt thousand flashbacks running in front of her eyes. Thousand times Kyo kissing her, licking her lips, biting them. Another thousand times his arms shutting her in to his embrace. It was so sweet place to stand, so familiar. It was like after wandering about years and then finding the way back home.

Kyo’s hands undo her shirt’s buttons and when he overturned her on the floor all she could think was the stars seen in front of her eyes. Still after the years he made her heart go wild, like it was trying to make its way through her chest. So loudly it pumped. She felt the hot blood rushing through her and something hot rising to her cheeks and between her legs. After years he still knew how to push the right spots.

When he purred like a cat making her all aroused she couldn’t help a lonely smile rising to her lips.
So he really still had such a control over her. He not only held those pieces of her heart, he fumbled more of them. She comforted herself with the fact that at least she had something with herself from him, something no-one could take away from her. And he would maybe never guess even if it stood in front of his eyes smiling back at him. It made her feel a bit sad.



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