Trying

BY : totaljammer
Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Dong Bang Shin Ki
Dragon prints: 923
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dong Bang Shin Ki. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title: Trying
Pairings: YooSu, JaeHo
Rating: PG, NC-17 eventually(wooo won't that be be a change! HA!)
Summery: Alternating points of view, Members of DBSK try to work out what it means to be in love....with each other.

Series, at least 8 parts maybe more. First part is Junsu then Micky of course.

Junsu POV

Micky is laughing and joking with me like any other day, he's so full of life and happiness; he's never afraid to show it. I love times like this, when we touch and joke away the day. I love how his whole body moves with his laughter, that his enjoyment in life cannot be expressed with just sound. Its times like this I know I love him, truly love him in the way my heart hurts just watching his eyes light up in joy.

We are sitting on the couch, legs tangled together. My hand it resting on his thigh and his hand is top mine. He is looking at me, eye a light in mirth and I lose myself just staring into them.

"I love you." I didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out. Micky blinks but keeps on smiling.

"I love you too." I know he doesn't say it the way I meant it when I said it. My insecurity almost lets me take the easy way out, but my longing heart forces me to take a leap of faith. I take his hand in between my own, turning my body to his so I am looking straight into his eyes.

"No Micky, I really love you." His eyebrows scrunch together in obvious confusion. He's still holding my hand.

"But I'm a guy." Micky states plainly as if that what he said would suddenly enlighten me and change the way I feel. As if.

"I know." I say in all seriousness, but his look of confusion only deepens.

"But you're a guy..." I love him with all my heart but you have got to be kidding me!

"I don't care, I love you, not your gender." I can see a small spark of understanding in his eyes, but then a frown mars his lips.

"But I'm not gay." I shake my head, of course I know he's not gay! I've seen pictures of him with his ex girlfriend in America.

"I'm not gay either." The confused look comes back ten fold, he opens his mouth but I interrupt before he can speak. "You are the only man, the only person I have ever been attracted to Micky." I tell him voice filled with passion. I can see him thinking over my alien words trying to puzzle my logic out. If only he could see how simple it is, "I don't love men," I put a hand over his heart, "I love you."

He sits there stunned for a moment, frowning deeply. "I..But doing...with a guy...the thought makes me want to gag." Ouch, that hurt, alot. For him to say something so straight forward and plainly. My pain must show on my face as his frown disappears instantly sorry. Turning my face from him I take a deep shaky breath calming myself. I feel my hand still clasped with in his own, looking down at our clasped hands sills me with hope.

"Do I really make you sick?" I ask with only the slightest tremor in my voice still unable to to face him, but Micky's warm hand lifts my face to look into my eyes.

"Of course not!" My fears are calmed by the conviction I hear in his voice and the honesty of his eyes. Steeling myself I press forward.

"How about when I touch you? When I hold you? Are you sick then?" The strength of my voice surprises me. Micky's eyes narrow slightly trying to understand where I am taking these questions.

"No, no and no! Why...?" I cut him off before I lose my courage.

"How about when I kiss you?" I ask softly, afraid of the answer.

His voice is soft, and eyes gentle, "No...but that's different..."

"No! Its no different!" I explode out passionately, needing him to understand. "It's just in your head that you think its different! "

Micky's posture radiates defensiveness, he opens his mouth to argue, but I will have none of that. I silence his lips with my own, stealing away his words and his breath. Softly I move my lips against his, enjoying the electric buzz when we connect. He makes no move to fight me off, so I enjoy our first kiss pouring my love into it and when I pull away Micky is flushed by something other than embarrassment.

"Did that make you sick?" I ask, his blush deepens and I am met with silence, telling me all. I lean in and whisper in his ear, "I know you felt it, I felt it too." I gently stroke his flushed cheeks, "Your flushed skin gives you away."

Staring into his eyes I can see how shocked he is, but also I can see the gears turning in his mind. I might be imagining it, a illusion of a desperate heart, but I swear his hand is holding mine as tightly as I hold his.

"Be honest Micky, think of what you feel...what you honestly feel." About me...it goes unsaid but I know he understands. Standing I pull my hand free leaving him on the couch still stunned. I can only hope he truly understands.

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