Broken

BY : Ian
Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Dong Bang Shin Ki
Dragon prints: 539
Disclaimer: Dong Bang Shin Gi does not belong to me. They are the property of SM Entertainment and that lot. I am making no profit from this. I do not know the people about whom I am writing. This story is a work of fiction.

Broken
by Stevie (poopsmcgee420@gmail.com)
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Oneshot
Pairing(s): YooMin
Warnings: Teh ghey.
Word Count: 1211
Summary: Changmin wants to let Yoochun know how he feels.

In the books he'd read, Changmin had occasionally seen the word "broken" in reference to someone's feelings. He honestly couldn't relate to that feeling, didn't know what it was... until that moment, backstage, after their performance.

He had been working for weeks upon weeks to pluck up the courage to confess his feelings to Yoochun. He had decided earlier that day that it was finally that time, that this would be the day he would confess. After their performance, when they all went home and got showers and changed, then he would confess. From the way he and Yoochun seemed to be around each other, his hopes were certainly high for a positive reaction, but even so he knew Yoochun was too good a friend to just hate him for it even if he didn't feel the same...

He wore a smile through final rehearsal and the performance, automatically performing his dances and singing his parts in the song. After the show he signed two autographs clutched in the hands of doe-eyed girls wearing backstage passes. All the while keeping an eye on Yoochun. This was his day. Only a van ride and a shower away from confession...

Then he saw the girl. She had the same doe eyes as the girls who had approached him for autographs. She appeared to be moments away from leaping onto Yoochun. He calmly signed her autograph book. Then winked. Changmin furrowed his brow. Yoochun grinned seductively and even reached out to touch the end of the girl's long bangs, brushing them from her eyes. He was flirting. Changmin frowned. The girl, he had to admit, was pretty, exactly the type Yoochun had said he preferred once in an on-air interview...

Changmin took a step back. Then another. This was all wrong, everything he had thought... And the way Yoochun seemed to speak to him, to act with him, it didn't seem to make sense... A third step back brought him almost tripping into a wall and he made a sound as he righted himself. Yoochun looked over. Changmin ran.

Finding himself locked inside a bathroom stall shortly thereafter, he sank to a crouch, breathing with a bit of difficulty and casting all of his plans for that night's confession out the window. Had he been so wrong, so blind? Had he only seen in Yoochun what he wanted to see because of high hopes that he felt the same? He didn't know how he was going to handle the ride in the van home. He didn't want to be anywhere near Yoochun then. But how could he avoid him without raising suspicions?

Changmin checked his watch and then headed for the van. He waited until JaeJoong and Yunho came from the building and climbed into the back before squeezing into the back with them, making sure Yoochun couldn't sit beside him. When the final two finally entered the van, Yoochun looked at Changmin in a slightly concerned way. Changmin gave a small fake smile and looked away.

The ride home was long but thankfully silent. Changmin spent most of his time staring at the back of Yoochun's head. Wondering. How could he have been so wrong...? He wanted this ride to be over so he could quickly shower and jump into bed, forget today for at least the hours that he slept. He wanted to wash his slate clean, move on... But he knew it wouldn't be so easy. Because his heart was in a million pieces, laying shattered in his chest. He felt the pieces digging into him and knew then the meaning of the term "broken."

Changmin was first through the door as they arrived home, going off to his and Junsu's room wordlessly to gather things for the shower, perhaps to find something to occupy him as he prepared to wait awhile for the shower, letting the others go before him. Honestly he just wanted to be alone for awhile. He didn't have it in him to try to fight for a position in line to take an earlier shower.

Then he heard Yoochun's voice outside his door.

"Is it okay if I have a few minutes to talk to him alone?"

Junsu answered back, "Sure, is everything alright?"

Self-assurance was in Yoochun's voice as he informed the other, "Fine. I just need to tell him something."

Changmin scowled and leaned against his headboard, sighing before straightening out his expression. He did not want to be alone with Yoochun. This was the last thing he wanted. He had no choice, though, as the door opened and Yoochun came in, closing the door behind himself.

"Hey..." Yoochun wore half a smile.

"Hi," Changmin smiled in return. "I heard you in the hall... you have something to tell me?"

Yoochun looked away a bit as he nodded, then came further into the room, sitting on the edge of Changmin's bed.

"I saw you, backstage."

Changmin looked away this time. "Doing what?"

"Watching me."

He looked back to the older. "What?"

"You were watching me." The self-assurance was back in his voice.

Changmin paused for a few moments before asking, "Is that a bad thing?"

Frowning slightly in consideration, Yoochun shook his head. "No." Then he added, "You saw me with that fan, though."

Changmin shrugged. "So?"

Yoochun shrugged as well. "You just... it seemed like - " He sighed. "I was just playing into her dreams, you know. Showing a fan a good time. It wasn't real or anything."

"Oh." Outwardly Changmin made it seem like he didn't care either way. Inwardly, a smile was spreading through him.

Yoochun moved up on the bed, leaning against the headboard beside Changmin. "I wouldn't go for a fan anyway, but you already know that, right? They only like me for my fame. I don't want someone like that. I want someone who'll like me for who I am. That's a hard thing to find these days."

"I know." Changmin smiled understandingly. "But I'm sure you'll find someone."

"What if..." Yoochun had to look away again. "What if I already have?"

The sinking feeling returned to Changmin. So he had been wrong about the fan, but he was still right... still right to feel broken and wronged.

"Who is she?" he asked, trying to sound innocently curious, knowing his voice came out a bit shakily.

Yoochun looked at Changmin and his eyes seemed... sad. "If you have to ask that.. then I don't think I should tell you."

Shaking his head a bit in confusion, Changmin said, "I don't know what you mean by that."

"Why were you watching me?"

Changmin was thrown by the question. He really didn't have an answer. At least, not that he could share.

After waiting, Yoochun instead asked, "Why do you always watch me?"

Again, Changmin was silent.

"Why did you run when you saw me with that fan?"

"Yoochun..."

They were both silent. But Changmin knew then that he had been discovered, that Yoochun had known all along.

Changmin sighed. "If you already know the answer to those questions, why are you asking them?"

"I want to know if I'm wrong." He bit his lip. "Am I wrong?"

"No." Changmin shook his head. Then blushed.

"Good. I don't know if I could have handled you breaking my heart when I told you, I think I'm falling for you, too."

Changmin found himself, yet again, speechless. So he did the only think he could think of, and kissed Yoochun.


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