Everything He Ever Wanted

BY : sango_houshi
Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Nightmare
Dragon prints: 1009
Disclaimer: I do not own naitomea nor do i know them and i make no money off this fanfiction...also...it should be clear, but this is a work of fiction...

Sango: oh...my...gods...wooow...look at all the hits... im amazed cuz of the VERY limited stories aff.net has on naitomea... i wish they were more popular... but...what can one do but. SPREAD.THE.WORD. (im lookin at all of you!!)

anywhoo...yea...midterm season is over...the teachers have put away their red pens and other deadly devices for our gpa's and have decided to let us enjoy *coughsuffercough* spring break.

and it is in this time that i wish to tell you all that i am posting the last two chapters simultaneously, so after reading this one, just click the clicky and you'll seethe captivating end where--

CHIBI Sango: A-HEM!! you're not supposed to say anything about the ending

Sango: but dont they want to know that hitsugi-san ends up with--

CHIBI Sango: SILENCE!! *gags Sango and throws her in a corner* ...okay... i'll have to post the chapters...stupid wench...

on with the fic...

and give me my damn cookies!! *evl glare*

Lat time:

“I mean…do we continue sleeping with each other, or will I have to choose between you two?” His voice was becoming increasingly panicked.

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13

Ruka stood up from stool and walked over to the small guitarist, gripping his shoulders, trying to prevent the redhead from hyperventilating. Hitsugi’s eyes were wide and unfocused, tears threatening to overflow. Fear gripped his throat; he chocked on sobs as they wracked his body, the dam breaking as tears streaked down his face. He buried his face in Ruka’s chest, gripping the drummer’s shirt as the elder tried to soothe him. The other men remained silent, anxiously watching as the scene unfolded before them.

Sakito felt for his friend, he really did. Almost the exact same thing happened to him when he found out he was in love with Ni~ya while still sleeping with Yomi and Ruka. But once all the ugly emotions were processed and sorted into something seemingly understandable—and that was an understatement—he’d felt better. Unfortunately, this was more difficult because there were so many people involved—for him it was only Ni~ya; he didn’t fell the same way for Yomi and Ruka as he did for Ni~ya.

“Hitsugi. You have to calm down. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. ” Sakito commanded from his stool, his tone serious though his gaze was sympathetic. He waited until the young guitarist calmed down enough to look at him.

“I’m sorry.” Hitsugi said once he’d calmed, looking embarrassed at having panicked in front of them.

“I know this will sound a little harsh but…man Hitsugi, you’re not a child. You knew the consequences before this happened and you knew that your emotions could not come into play. But now that they have, you have to face this and sort them out. You have to figure out what you want; if you even want a relationship, or if it’s the sex talking.” Sakito sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He looked over at Ni~ya and grabbed the bassist’s hand giving it a tense squeeze, the squeeze he received in turn calmed him.

“You have to calm down in order to organize your thoughts and emotions. What do you want?” The question was

simple enough; the answer was more complicated.

“I…. I don’t know what I want.” Hitsugi finished uncertainly.

“Okay, what don’t you want?” Yomi asked helpfully. Hitsugi took a deep breath. This was much easier.

“I don’t want Naitomea to break up because I can’t control my emotions—”

“That’s not going to happen.” Ruka quickly intervened, sensing the younger guitarist close to tears again.

“I don’t want to choose between you two.” The statement, only a handful of words, brought silence so tense, the tenseness could be cut with a knife. Yomi looked away from the guitarist to meet Sakito’s wise gaze. He looked away again, this time staring a hole at his dinner. Ruka looked at Yomi, sensing his quiet distress and hugged Hitsugi closer to him. Ni~ya remained silent, watching everything unfold. He looked at each man individually: the hurt look in Yomi’s eyes; the possessive hold Ruka had on Hitsugi; the youngest member’s lost look.

Apparently, these three loved each other; there was a complicated love triangle going on. From what he could guess, Yomi liked Hitsugi, but he also liked Ruka; Ruka liked Hitsugi, but he also liked Yomi; but he didn’t know where that left Hitsugi. Te guitarist cared deeply for both of them, but the same thing could be said about himself and Sakito. It was also clear to see that he didn’t want to be left out of the loop, and Yomi’s guilty look confirmed that.

“There are two things you can do. Either you say what you wt right now-” he held up a hand to stop Hitsugi, who had opened his mouth to speak, “or you let things play out and let time handle things for you. But believe me, you don’t want to leave this p to fate, take things into your own hands, you don’t know what will happen or if someone will make the decision for you.” Ni~ya said wisely, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, the flame playing dramatically across his face as he pulled deeply on the cancer stick.

They all stared at the bassist; Sakito in amazement and love—he knew Ni~ya was smarter and wiser than anyone gave him credit for, the bastard was just too lazy to let his smarts show. Yomi eyes were wide with a mixture of understanding and uncertainty. His gaze kept flicking to Ruka and the possessive hold he had on Hitsugi, and his gaze dropped every time, as though it would be different each time he looked. Ruka looked undecided; the wheels turning in his head visible through his eyes. Hitsugi looked more lost now than he did before. He didn’t know what to do.

“I…what if I wait a few days? You know, give me a few days to think things through…to not make a rash decision…”

He trailed off more tentative than confident of his own plan.

Ni~ya was about to protest, but Sakito stopped him.

“That’s a great idea. You’ll also need a few days to heal.” He said, trying to lighten the awkward silence. Ruka followed the guitarist’s plan, gasping in an exaggerated manner, h tone obviously sarcastic, and mockingly shocked.

“Really?! A few days?” Sakito narrowed his eyes at him, playfully throwing a grape at him from the fruit bowl.

“Yes, days.” He said curtly.

“Yeah.” Ni~ya said, shaking his head as he remembered his and Sakito’s first time. “After our first time, Saki wouldn’t let me anywhere near him for a week.” Sakito gave an undignified squeak, hitting Ni~ya’s shoulder before smacking the back of his head.

“Chotto! What was that for?!” The bassist demanded, rubbing his abused head as Yomi and Ruka laughed. Hitsugi couldn’t help it—he joined in on the laughter, momentarily forgetting his current dilemma.

They finished ‘breakfast’ completely at ease, if not for the slightly uncomfortable at the fact that Hitsugi couldn’t sit down. Seeing as how two of the men could barely walk and another could barely move, they decided to remain indoors for the rest of the evening, all thoughts of unpleasantness out of their minds even though it loomed over them like a dark cloud; they were that good at ignoring things. Like ignoring rabid fangirls and that one fanfiction Hitsugi passed out over about himself and Ni~ya that involved BDSM and Ni~ya as uke. It was too much for then-innocent Hitsugi.

It was close to midnight when the other members of Naitomea finally left to their own homes, feeling slightly guilty for imposing on the young guitarist for so long. Sakito went home with Ni~ya, the two having finalized their plans for living together (it was the only course to take after that possessive statement earlier by Ni~ya about his love for Sakito). Yomi and Ruka left their separate ways; the former had been sneaking longing glances at the arm Ruka kept possessively around Hitsugi’s midsection the rest of the evening. Ruka did look guilty, but the drummer knew how to mask it—mostly.

Hitsugi was left alone to sit, more like lean sideways, on the couch left alone with his thoughts and Midnight on his lap. He had told them that he needed a few days to think things through. And while he didn’t want to start right away, that was the only thing going on in his mind. The thoughts chased themselves and began to overwhelm him once again now that he was alone. He tried to organize his thoughts as Sakito told him to, tried to figure out what it was that he wanted. And he knew.

He didn’t want to be left out of the loop…didn’t want to be the only one without someone to come home to. He also didn’t want to choose between the two. They were too important. Then again, what was wrong with not being a part of it? That’s how it was before and it didn’t bother him, why should it now? Because he got laid after so long? If anything, he felt more daring and willing to be able to do those things more. He knew what his fans thought of him, and could pursue a romantic relationship with someone else. If he really thought about it, he really cared about Yomi and Ruka. But it was also the same way he cared for Ni~ya and Sakito. All this emotional drama was over nothing—his feelings hadn’t changed. However his bodily urges had increased and he wanted more of it.

But he knew that wasn’t what he wanted.

He wanted Yomi and he wanted Ruka.

He began to replay in his mind what had happened this morning and last night. Both times he’d broken

down it had been Ruka who had been there to comfort him. He knew he didn’t want just sex with anyone. He wanted to be loved and comforted and feel safe as he had with Ruka those times. His heart began to beat a little faster as he remembered the way the drummer held him—almost possessively. But then he remembered the hurt look on Yomi’s face and a pang of guilt raced through him. A thought of realization shot through him—an epiphany one would call it. Yomi was in love with Ruka. Then again he could be completely wrong as he was most times, and Yomi could be…in love with…him?

The thought was preposterous and farther than his most unbelievable dreams. Yomi wasn’t in love with him…it was…it was probably jealousy that Ruka was hugging him and not Yomi.

But now that…everything had happened, he really didn’t want to be alone. He really, really didn’t. He wanted to have what Ni~ya and Sakito had; s impossible as it seemed. Being the type of person that he was, he didn’t let people too clase, and had never believed in love for himself. But now he wanted it—he craved it. He just didn’t know it would hurt so much to have to choose between Yomi and Ruka. It would be the right, noble thing to do –to let them be happy together. But he knew he couldn’t; it would hurt too much and he was much too selfish. He wanted them both.

His hand stopped mid stroke through Midnight’s soft fur. The feline nudged his hand with her hand , not wanting him to stop petting her, breaking him out of his trance. Did he really think that? Was he really that selfish? The more he thought about it, the more sure he grew. Yes. He wanted them both for himself. He also thought about what Ni~ya said—how he wasn’t going to share Sakito with anyone ever again…yeah! He didn’t want to share Ruka or Yomi with anyone else. The thought of anyone seeing them like that with anyone else, aside from each other—that was hot, made his blood boil. He knew it was irrational, that he had no claim on either of them, but…he couldn’t think about it. Ruka or Yomi…with someone that wasn’t him…it hurt too much. He didn’t want to be alone…but he wanted them both to be happy…with him.

Steeling his resolve he sucked in a deep breath. He knew what he had to do.

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i apologize for any spelling mistakes...this was never beta'd and ...well....yea...



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