Begin Again

BY : tia_unknowlover
Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Dong Bang Shin Ki
Dragon prints: 473
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, I do not know the members of DBSK/TVXQ and made no money from the writing of this fanfic

 

It was three o’clock in the morning when he was finally able to drag himself into bed, it was a rare occasion that she was able to stay with him but there she was in his bed asleep. She was lying on her stomach and he could see the cross shaped tattoo between her shoulders, it was a replica of the T-concert emblem with the letters TVXQ down the center, her children’s names on either side, and ‘Miduhyo’ underneath.

Unconsciously he started to trace it with his fingertip causing her to shiver, awakened by his tender caress she turned to face him, “Hey sweetie, what time is it?” she asked as she curled up closer to him.

“It’s late, go back to sleep,” he told her as he gently kissed her forehead.

“But you’re here now, I don’t want to sleep. I want to be with you,” she said putting her best pout on just for him, and then grinning.

“You are just too damned cute when you pout,” he said chuckling his left hand rubbing her back and his right arm folded under his head.

She put one of her legs over his and reached down to touch his most private of places, “Ooh looks like little Yunnie wants to play,” she said giggling as he moaned pushing her back into the mattress and getting over her. It wasn’t long before the giggles turned into moans and discarded clothes littered the floor by the bed.

Panting for air and trying to slow down their heart rates he pulled her close and they fell asleep wrapped in a tangle of arms and legs.

When he woke up the next morning she was gone, she left a note on her pillow, ‘Hey sleeping beauty, you looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you up, I’ve got something important to tell you, I hope that you will be as happy about it as I am!! I’ll talk to you later, I love you!!!’.

He smiled and read the note again, wonder what is so important that she couldn’t write it in the note! He got up and made sure that the other members were awake before jumping in the shower. He’d call her later to find out what the news was, right now they were running late and the others still had to take showers.

They were tired, they had practiced hard all morning and he was starving, he was hoping to get a quick bite and then call Kari to see what the news was that she was so excited about. All those hopes flew right out the window when he was once again cornered by Tiffany from SNSD, she just could not understand that he was not interested.

“Hey, Yunho-oppa! I was hoping that maybe we could have lunch together?” she asked smiling mischievously.

“Not today, I’ve got some important phone calls to make,” he answered shortly hoping that she would quickly catch on.

“To the American woman?? What do you see in her? I am younger and can offer you so much more,” she half sneered as she continued to get closer, he was backing up and fell over a box and landed flat on his back. She pounced, before he could react she was kissing him with her hands tangled in his hair and sitting straddle of him.

He grabbed both of her arms trying to peel her off of him when he heard someone gasp, “Oh my God, no!” finally able to break free he looked towards the elevator to see Kari standing there with more pain and hurt than he had ever seen in one person’s face.

“Kari, wait!!” he yelled as she turned and ran back to get on the elevator before the doors closed. “Dammit, what is wrong with you?? What have I got to do to get it through to you that I love her and I’m not interested in you?!?!?” He practically screamed at the other woman.

Tiffany laughed, “Well I don’t think that she’s going to be a problem anymore, she looked pretty surprised and pissed!!” she spat back.

He had never been a violent person, but right now the urge to knock her on her ass was as strong a feeling as he thought he’d ever had. “The best thing for you right now is to get away from me, NOW!!!”

She whimpered and ran down the hall, looking back only once to make sure he wasn’t chasing her.

He started towards the elevator Micky, Junsu, and Max was getting off, “Hey what happened with Kari?  She was really upset when we saw her downstairs, Jaejoong stayed with her to try and get her to calm down.”

“Is she still here?” Yunho asked.

“Probably, you know that Jae wouldn’t let her drive as upset as she was,” Junsu answered.

Yunho didn’t wait for the elevator he took off running down the stairs, he saw Jaejoong coming back in the door as he hit the bottom of the steps. “Where is she?” Yunho asked panicking and out of breath.

“She’s gone home,” Jaejoong answered. “What the hell’s going on? I’ve never seen her so upset, she’s devastated.”

“That bitch from SNSD again, only this time she practically raped me and Kari walked up on it!! After what happened with her first husband and as long as it took her to trust me, that crazy bitch just destroyed it in less time than it takes to piss!!” Yunho told his best friend. “I’ve got to go after her….”

“No, right now you need to give her some time. She’s calmed down and she promised me that she would go home to rest,” Jaejoong told him.

“The look on her face broke my heart she didn’t even give me time to explain. I love her I could never hurt her like that.” He looked at his friend feeling completely lost.

“She loves you too, it’ll be okay, it has to,” Jaejoong said patting his friend on the shoulder.

~~*~~

It was a long afternoon and he had trouble concentrating, they sent them home and told them to get some rest, Yunho headed straight to Kari.

Kaycey her oldest opened the door for him he could tell that she was not happy with him, “She’s laying down,” she said.

“Please let me see her, I’ve got to explain!!” he pleaded.

“Hold on let me go get her,” she said. She headed to her mother’s room, “She said for you to come on in,” Kaycey told him.

He went to her room to find her sitting on the side of the bed, her eyes were red and swollen, he got down on his knees in front of her, “Hey baby,” he said and tried to put his arms around her.

She pulled away and stood up she walked over to the window, “I don’t even know what to say to you, this should have been one of the happiest days of my life and you ruined it!!” she sobbed.

“Please believe me, I had nothing to do with that!! I had just come out of the studio when she cornered me, baby I Love YOU!! I’ve tried to tell her that, but she just won’t give up!!” he tried again to put his arms around her. “I was going to grab lunch and call you, I wanted to know what the news was that you seemed to be so excited about,” he told her, taking her arms and turning her around so he could see her face. “Will you tell me?”

“It doesn’t matter now, it’s over, everything’s over!!” she sobbed and fell to her knees.

“Please don’t say that, I would never hurt you like that, you’ve got to believe that, you know that I wouldn’t!!!!!” he said tears now streaming down his face.

She gathered all the strength and courage that she had to say the words that she knew would end everything between them, “I was pregnant.” She said flatly.

“Oh my God, a baby that’s…what do you mean was?” he asked.

“I terminated the pregnancy this afternoon, I can’t do this by myself again!!” she told him.

“No, you wouldn’t do that!!” he said the pain and heartbreak evident on his face and in his voice.

“Just like you would never hurt me?? Right??” she spat back.

His hands fell away from her as though touching her burned him, “How could you?? You know how much I would love to have a baby? You knew that I loved you, how could you kill an innocent baby?” he screamed.

She flinched and started sobbing, as much as he loved her he couldn’t stand to look at her. He stood to leave, “I never want to see you again,” he said and walked out of her room and her life.

She curled up on the floor sobbing until her daughters came in to get her back in bed.

~~*~~

Jaejoong was worried; Serra and Kaycey had called to let the boys know what had happened. It had been four hours and not a word from Yunho, it wasn’t like him to disappear and not let anyone know where he could be reached.

Micky and Junsu were out looking in their usual haunts to see if they could find him, so far they’d had no luck. Max was going to the park at the Han River to see if he was there, he was driving Jaejoong crazy so he agreed to let him go.

It didn’t take long until Max called and told him that he had found Yunho drunk and passed out in the playground. Jaejoong called the others and they all met at the playground, Yunho was awake when they got there but he was still pretty drunk.

“Hey boys, you weren’t worried about me were you?? I don’t blame you, I can’t even protect my unborn child from his own mother, how the hell am I supposed to take care of myself!!” he screamed he went to stand and fell flat on his face. The others rushed to him his sobs tore their hearts out they had no idea how to comfort him, they did the only thing that they knew to do, they took him home.

Jaejoong stayed up the rest of the night with him holding his head as he leaned over the toilet to vomit, and holding him when he cried. Close to morning he had sobered up for the most part, “Why JJ? How could she do this to me, to us, to an innocent child?” he sobbed. His throat was raw from the crying and vomiting, he had absolutely nothing left in him.

~~*~~

Across town at Kari’s the scene was similar, but for a different reason, “Mom, how could you tell him that you got an abortion?” Serra asked. She loved her mother dearly but right now she thought that she was being completely unreasonable.

“I did what I thought was best,” she said. She had cried, paced, and worried about whether it was really the best thing to do. ‘It has to be this way, I can’t take another broken heart because of another woman, if it’s going to end it’s going to be on my terms!’ was the thought that kept running through her mind.

“I’ve got a friend that I used to work with at the hospital, she married a Korean doctor and she lives about a two hour drive from here. I called her and she said that I was welcome to stay with them for a while, to sort things out.” She finally told the girls.

They didn’t want her to leave, but they helped her move anyway. They felt bad for what had happened she and Yunho had loved each other so but now it seemed as though she was on her own again.

“It won’t be forever, you can come see me any time, just please don’t tell them where I am. I need to get over him and do what’s best for the baby and staying upset all the time is not good for him or me. I love you both very much, maybe we can find a house there and then we can all be together, okay.”

“When I feel like I can handle it without falling apart I’ll let you tell him where I am, but for now it’s better that he not know,” she pleaded.

The girls didn’t like it but they agreed, when it was time for them to head back to Seoul they all cried. Their mother’s friend promised to call if anything came up and that she would take good care of her for them.

It took time but eventually days turned into weeks, weeks into months and before long it had been 4 months since she left Seoul. It took her another month to work up the courage to call him, “I need to see you,” was all she said.

 She gave him directions he told her he would get there when he could it may be a few days, “I’ve been really busy lately, but I’ll see what I can do,” he hung up without even a good bye. His voice was cold and distant, it stung but she knew that she deserved it, she tried to get over him but she knew deep down that she would always love him.

~~*~~

“She wants to see me,” he said matter-of-factly to Jaejoong when he asked him about the phone call.

“What are you going to do?” Jaejoong asked.

“I don’t know, I can never forgive her for what she did, but in some strange way I still love her. I almost wish that we could have a second chance, if I could just get past what she did,” Yunho looked at Jaejoong with a questioning look.

Jaejoong had seen everything that he’d been through in the last few months, he was with him through every drunken night crying and vomiting until he couldn’t talk, watched as the light in his eyes slowly died, and how the only thing that he still enjoyed was singing. He knew that every love song was for her and everything that he went through was because of her.

 But Jaejoong couldn’t make himself hate her, anymore that Yunho could; he considered what she had done as an act of desperation and not a thought out plan to intentionally hurt anybody. He stayed in constant contact with the girls, it was kind of hard not to he had started dating Kaycey a couple of months ago and Micky had always been fond of Serra. Of course Yunho had no idea about any of this; he didn’t think that he could handle anything else right now.

“Go see her, if you want I’ll go with you. Hell, we all will if that will help, maybe this is what you both need to get closure on this once and for all,” he hugged his friend and left him with his thoughts.

~~*~~

It had been two weeks and still she had not seen or heard anything from him, so she called the girls. “I called him but I guess he’s really not interested, it’s been two weeks I’ve only got two weeks left before the baby’s due. I don’t know what else to do.” She told the girls, they could tell that she had been crying.

“We’ll try to talk to him Mom, if that will help. Maybe we can get him to come, okay!!” Serra told her.

“Serra, there’s only one way we are going to get him up there and you know that as well as I do,” Kaycey said.

“Yeah, well let’s go get it over with then,” Serra said they grabbed the car keys and headed to the boys apartment.

Max opened the door, to say the least he was shocked to see them standing on the other side of the door when he opened it, “Hey,” he said nervously.

“We need to talk to all of you, it’s time you all heard the truth,” Kaycey said.

“Come on in,” he said as he opened the door wider and led the way to the living room. Everybody was there except for Yunho it wasn’t long though before he came from down the hall, “Hey Kaycey, Serra long time no see, how are things?” he asked.

He looked older; they were taken aback at how this had all affected him physically. “Yunho, we need to talk,” Serra told him.

“I know what this is about, she called me a couple of weeks. I just don’t think that seeing her is a good idea, not now maybe never.” He said “See no matter what I still love her and I just can’t go there right now, please try…”

“Will you please just shut up for a minute,” Kaycey said everybody was shocked at her outburst.

“Yunho she still loves you too she never stopped, but that’s not the point.” Serra started she walked over to stand face to face with him, “Yunho, she lied to you about the abortion, she didn’t have one. The baby’s due in two weeks that’s why she was so desperate to see you now.”

All of them were shocked at the girl’s confession, Yunho leaned against the wall for support, “Are you telling me the truth, you’re not just saying this to get me to go see her?” his eyes light up when the girls started nodding their heads with tears running down their faces.

“She needs you, she’s scared and all alone she’s realized what she did was a mistake. She knows that you probably don’t want her back, but she wants you to be there when the baby comes. She wants you to be part of his life.” They reached out to him he wrapped his arms around them the other members joined them; they were all hugging, crying, and laughing.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Junsu asked as he shook the car keys at them. The van was big enough for all of them so they didn’t have to take the girls car.

As they got closer to their destination Junsu asked the girls where to go, “Well she’s probably still at work….” Kaycey started but was cut short by Yunho.

“What the hell do you mean ‘working’? She’s got no business working,” he exclaimed.

“Yunho, she had to pay rent, buy groceries, and pay doctor bills, she had to work,” Serra was trying to explain.

“She’ll never work again, her job now is to be a mother and wife, if she’ll have me back,” he said wistfully.

Kaycey leaned up and whispered, “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem!!” She patted his shoulder, he took her hand and kissed it. “Thanks,” he said.

“Hey, that’s my girl, wait till we get to yours and then you can kiss her!” Jaejoong yelped.

“What do you mean your girl?” Yunho asked looking back at his friend.

“Well I’ve been seeing Kaycey for a couple of months…and Micky’s been seeing Serra even longer,” Jaejoong grinned sheepishly as Yunho glared.

“We’ll just see what their Mother has to say about that,” he said.

“Um…she already knows...” Serra said laughing.

“Junsu, you need to turn in at the next drive she’s working at the clinic today.” Kaycey said interrupting the previous conversation.

Yunho suddenly realized how nervous he was, “What if…”

“Don’t start, there’s already too many what if’s, just tell her how you feel and what you want, then don’t take no for an answer,” Max, who had been relatively quiet said.

“Yeah, right,” Yunho said confidence level at zero.

Jaejoong reached up and popped him in the back of the head, “Ouch, what was that for?” Yunho cried.

“Just helping you get your head on straight,” Jaejoong laughed.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Yunho suddenly threw open his door and jumped out of the car before it came to a complete stop. He was running to the front door of the building, by the time the car came to a complete stop he was already running back out.

“They’ve already taken her to the hospital, about thirty minutes ago,” He said close to panic, “Where’s the hospital girls?” he asked.

“It’s only about two blocks away, on the left, and Yunho wait until the car stops this time please?” Serra answered.

They parked and ran to the hospital entrance where they were directed to labor and delivery; once there they were told to wait they would come get them when they could see her.

It seemed to take forever, “I wish they’d hurry, I’ve got to let her know that I’m here, that she’s not alone and never will be!!” He was pacing, finally the nurse came to get them.

When they got to her room they told Yunho to go in first and they gave them some privacy. She was lying on her side with her back to the door when he walked in, “Kari,” he said almost in a whisper.

She turned her head, “You made it,” she said as tears started to fall, he went to her and took her hand. “I’m so sorry, for everything. I know that I’ve probably blown our chances of being together, but you have a right to know your child.” She said. She squeezed his hand and groaned as a pain hit, she was breathing hard when the pain was over she let go of his hand, “I’m sorry,” she said trying to relax a bit before the next pain.

“It’s okay,” he said as he took her hand again, “You squeeze as hard as you need to, Kari I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry that you had to do this by yourself. I love you so much, I have been miserable without you, my life has been so empty…” he was saying when she squeezed his hand and was groaning again. “Oh baby, I wish I could take this pain away, it’s breaking my heart to see you suffer.”

“I deserve it and so much more for what I’ve put you through,” she was crying again. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about calling you and telling you the truth, I’ve always loved you,” she said. He leaned over and kissed her, she smiled weakly when he pulled back.

“The girls are with me, let me get them so they can see you, okay” he said walking to the door.

Everybody came in to see her they didn’t get to stay long; the nurse came in and ran them all back to the waiting room, only Yunho he was allowed to stay. “Please take care of her,” Kaycey and Serra asked him, he hugged them and told them not to worry he would never leave her again.

When the next pain hit she screamed. He rushed back to her side, “I’m here baby, I’m never going to leave again,” he kissed her forehead.

It had been three hours, she was exhausted, “There’s got to be something that you can do,” Yunho asked the nurses.

“The doctor’s on his way, the baby’s heartbeat has dropped down to a dangerously low level; we may have to do a C-section. He’ll be here anytime,” she answered.

“Yunho, promise me that if it comes to it you tell them to save the baby, please,” she was pleading with him.

“I can’t make that decision, I can’t live without you any longer. I need you in my life please don’t ask me to do this,” he said tears running down his face.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell him, always remember that I love you I always have,” she closed her eyes, she was completely exhausted. He kissed her hand and brushed his hand across her face.

When the doctor came in and examined her the decision was made to do the C-section, she was already so tired, he was afraid she could take much more. Yunho went with the doctor when he went to tell the girls and get their signature on the permission papers.

“Will they let you stay with her?” Kaycey asked Yunho.

“Yeah, they said they’d set up a drape and I could sit at her head while they did the procedure,” he smiled nervously. He looked at them with tears in his eyes, “Everything’s going to be fine, it’s got to be,” he turned when her heard the nurse call him, “I’ve got to go put on scrubs, I’ll be back out as soon as I can.”

He stayed with her, he kept telling her how much he loved her and offering any words of comfort or encouragement that he could think of to keep her talking to him. He told her that when she went home she’d be going home with him, she just smiled and said okay. She was so tired and scared she had a death grip on his hand, and then the doctor told them it was a boy, and that announcement was followed by the loud screams of their son.

Yunho laughed and was kissing her all over her face, “I love you so much, marry me?” he asked.

“Okay,” she answered and smiled at him.

 



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