Long, Hard Road Out of Hell

BY : FlameWolf
Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson
Dragon prints: 2235
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.

Author’s Note:  This is the sequel to ‘The Rose and Thorn’ and final in the trilogy.  *hides from the mob with torches and pitchforks*  I’m so sorry for how the last one ended, really I am!  It was as hard for me to write as it was for you to read!  If the ending didn’t drive you away, I hope you enjoy the final installment.


Long Hard Road Out of Hell


By: FlameWolf


Chapter One: Cold Inside


    Johnny sighed as he sprawled on the long couch, a black clad arm flung over his eyes.  The last few months had been nearly unbearable and the actor had to make some rather cruel decisions.  After weeks of a certain writer bad mouthing and cussing out Manson, the actor had to put his foot down about it.  It was obviously only distressing the unstable Raven even more and he had given Amanda a rather brutal ultimatum.  Either stop doing it period or find somewhere else to stay until the stricken female was better.  The journalist had been about ready to skin him when Ginger had thankfully intervened.  Luckily it wasn’t too long before the band left with the rocker on tour, the curly haired writer staying behind to help care for the bedridden female upstairs.

    The next hard decision had been to start forcing Raven to come downstairs to socialize.  Staying up in the room she had shared with Manson all day for weeks on end wasn’t doing her any good.  The singer had protested at first, even going so far as to throw a tantrum when he had carried her bodily downstairs.  On top of that, Amanda had tried to convince him that what he was doing was just plain cruel.  Finally, the actor had enough; sitting on the couch while holding the pissed, former freelancer in his lap as he leveled the well meaning journalist with a stern look.  “It may seem that way but she will have to learn how to deal with reality at some point.  Besides, isolating herself is the worst thing we can allow her to do.  If left alone, she will have only her own voice to keep her company.  Something I doubt is very good for her,” the star had bit out, very nearly on the edge of setting up the well meaning female with a hotel for a night.  Thankfully she had agreed and it didn’t come to that.

    Another hard decision came when Raven started to refuse food.  He had to pull on all of his acting talent and actually give her an ultimatum after three days of eating the minimum of food.  “Meagan... if you don’t eat three meals today I will be taking you into a psych ward.  I know you can’t help how you feel but I can’t be responsible for you eating.  I can’t tie you down and force feed you nor can I give you twenty-four hour surveillance.  I know it seems mean but I cannot put your safety at risk,” Johnny whispered, guilt tinging his voice as he held his head in his hands.  The midnight clad femme sitting to his right only flinched, the last vestige of her logical side agreeing with him.

    “I... know and I’m sorry for how unfair all of this has been on you.  Some days I’ve acted like nothing more than a child but...  It hurts to allow myself to think, to act normal.  Every part of me feels shattered Johnny,” the fraying woman whispered, tears rolling down her too thin cheeks as she gave him a gaze utterly full of guilt.  In an instant, the taller male was kneeling in front of her; a stricken expression on his stubble covered, tanned face.

    Rough hands took hers as he ignored the fact that Amanda was in the same room entirely.  “I’m not blaming you sweetie, nor am I trying to pawn you off on others!  I really and truly am concerned for your well-being,” the actor husked, his tone urgent; as if he was afraid she didn’t believe him.

    “I... I know Johnny.  You and Mandy have been so understanding while my world has fallen apart at the seams.  Maybe I should see a therapist.  I mean, this behavior isn’t exactly what you would call normal,” Raven replied, her hazel gaze travelling to her childhood friend.  The curly haired reporter met her eyes steadily, looking just as worried as the star holding her.

    “We can set you up with an appointment tomorrow.  For now, let’s sit and have an actual talk about what’s going through that head of yours,” Depp urged, a thumb brushing the top of her right hand as he continued to look up at her from the floor.  The former artist only took a deep breath and shook her head slightly, licking her lips before she started talking.

    Manson paced the confines of his room on the tour bus, only stopping to punch through a mirror as he let out a low snarl.  To tell the truth, he wasn’t really on tour at the moment.  He just didn’t have the heart to wear the mask of his persona for his fans.  His heart hurt and he wanted nothing more than to go back to Raven, to make things right but the amount of misplaced rage he felt made that impossible.  If he went back now, he would only spew more poison that his beloved didn’t need to hear in her fragile state.  Shit he didn’t truly mean in the first place.  For the first time in his long career, he found himself honestly hating his stage persona.

It was a mask he had worn since childhood to help him deal with his emotions.  It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that he had a bit of a problem dealing with his emotions from a fairly young age.  His experience with a neighbor probably didn’t help that one little bit.  Reacting with rage was a lot easier than learning how to actually deal with any emotional pain he felt.  Such a habit was a hard one to get rid of and he found that fact catching up to him at last.  The only problem was, he still had no idea of how to deal with his feelings.  It certainly didn’t help that he had never felt anything like this before, not even when Melinda had left him.  It felt like someone had reached into his chest to tear his heart out and was actively squeezing the still beating organ in a clawed hand.  He felt hollowed out and raw, salt mixed with lemon poured over the screaming wounds. To put the ultimate cherry on top of his mountain of shit, he felt utterly sick in his soul.

    To put it bluntly, it wasn’t just Raven that needed him.  It also worked the other way.  Leaving her was already hard on him.  Having a scenario happen that tugged at his memories as well as his protective instinct was almost tearing him apart.  He found himself wanting to tear apart the room, tear himself apart and curl up into fetal ball so he could finally just cry all at the same time.  Gritting his teeth, he swung open the door to holler for Jeordie; honesty grateful his ex hadn’t left him due to the recent upheaval.  Without his former guitarist, he would have surely gone mad.  After having been in a relationship with the rock star, the dreadlock wearing musician knew how he operated better than anyone.

    After her lengthy explanation, Raven found herself the center of some very unwanted attention.  To have two people staring at you after you had practically laid your soul bare for them to see was very disconcerting and her mind instantly went to wondering if they were angry with.  Even worse, what if they agreed with the awful things her mind persistently clung to about herself.  What if what she told them had convinced them that it really was her fault she had lost her unborn child.  So she was extremely surprised when they both nearly hugged the life out of her.  “Oh Meagan, I know its hard for you to believe but losing the baby really wasn’t your fault.  I know you know that deep down there was no way your mental state had anything to do with the... incident,” rumbled a gentle baritone in her ear as Amanda cried softly.

    “He’s right Megs.  Hearing you talk like that hurts, especially when I know that you know better.  Somewhere, under all your emotions, you know that your feelings are born out of misplaced guilt,” the curly haired writer whispered, her thin body shaking slightly from the sheer amount of terror she felt for the other woman in her arms.

    Raven only sighed, swallowing thickly as tears slowly filled her hazel eyes.  The terrible thing was, she knew Amanda was right.  The rising musician prided herself on being fairly intelligent and logical.  That part of her was currently screaming from under the pile of guilt and self hatred she had filled herself with.  Although it agreed with her friends wholeheartedly, her habit of blaming herself was just far too ingrained.  She had been treated like she was at fault for everything while growing up, a fact that didn’t change in her previous relationships.  In fact, it had gotten much worse.  After being treated like that for nearly her entire life, her first reaction had quickly become to brace for anger.  It was a hard reaction to circumvent and just seemed to come naturally, with little warning.

    Sighing, the midnight clad femme slumped into their embrace.  As she inhaled Johnny’s scent, her heart cramped painfully in her chest.  The last thing Manson had said to her echoed in her mind, like all the countless times before; only adding to the stubborn self hatred she felt.  This was only complicated by the fact the singer had been her idol, a figure she had obsessed with and practically worshipped.  She had looked up to him as she had grown into a woman and she still did.  Just because she was engaged to him didn’t mean any of these feelings had gone away.  She still admired him, even looked up to him but she had also gotten to know him as a man and not the superstar everyone had seen.  Seeing that part of him had only made her love and respect him even more.  To have someone that held that high of a spot in her heart say such a thing to her had utterly broken her and had ultimately made her problem that much worse.

    As Manson finished speaking, he looked up to see Twiggy giving him a surprised but sympathetic look.  “Manny... you’ve never opened up like this.  I... I’m so honored you trust me so much,” the ex-guitarist murmured, drawing the rail thin male next to him into a tight hug.

    “Twigs, you were one of my first lovers and one that I cared for more than the others.  I know I didn’t show it much during our relationship but I did love you.  I also believe you helped me become a better person, even made it easier for me to be in a relationship in the first place.  I... I probably trust you more than I do the other band members,” the performer rasped, running a shaky hand through his ebony locks.

    “And you want my advice I’m guessing,” the effeminate man replied softly, wrapping a brown skinned arm around his former partner’s bare, tattooed shoulders.

    “Yeah, I... I need to learn how to control myself better.  The fact of the matter is, this tour isn’t what I need, Raven is.  I just can’t be near her because of what might come out of my mouth,” the super star confessed, weaving the fingers of both hands into his short cropped hair as he closed his mismatched eyes tightly.

    “I don’t know if I can help you with this one Mare.  It sounds more like a mental block  and I’m not a psychologist,” Jeordie replied, regret tinging his tone as he pulled the tough rocker into a hug; pressing a kiss to his forehead.

    “I was afraid of that,” Manson sighed before turning and burrowing his face into Jeordie’s chest.  Then he began to sob, disconcerting the former guitarist greatly.

    A few days later and Raven was acting about the same.  She ate and came downstairs but something seemed to have gone out of her, her once lively gaze flat and cold.  She went through the motions of talking and letting her pet out to go to the bathroom but it all seemed cursory.  While Johnny was no longer worried about her eating or isolating, he found himself even more worried by the hollow shell he saw walking around.  He had seen her like this before and had taken her to a concert in a desperate bid to get her mind off things.  This time, he found he had no real options available.  Davis had just finished up a tour and Manson wasn’t exactly an option.  The only other thing he could do was take her to set with him and that would raise all kinds of questions.

    Sighing as he scrubbed his face, Depp pursed his goateed lips as he watched his close friend fix her breakfast in a mechanical manner.  At this point, he was starting to not care just how many questions bringing her with him would cause.  The woman obviously needed a distraction from herself.  If she didn’t get one, she was very likely to lose herself to the blackness that was gradually overtaking her.  Still, taking her to a crowded set didn’t seem like such a good idea.  Releasing a frustrated sigh, the actor decided to take the zombie-like female with him.  There were a few people he was sure she would like to meet and he would honestly give anything to see the light back in her hazel eyes.  Consequences be damned.

    Suddenly Raven found herself stuffed into Johnny’s car, utterly bewildered about where he was taking her and why.  All she really knew was that, one moment she had been cleaning her dishes from breakfast and the next she found herself dragged out the door.  “Johnny, I really don’t feel like going anywhere,” she sighed, her heart feeling like a cement block in her chest as she apathetically watched the scenery pass by outside the car.

    “I know but you can’t just allow yourself to keep wasting away like this.  You need to get out and start experiencing life again.  I know its only been a short while but staying in the house all the time can’t be healthy,” the star reasoned, a strained expression on his handsome face as he reached over to take one of her hands in his.  As soon as he took hold of the small appendage, the broken artist turned to give him a look filled with soul-crushing depression and self-depreciation.

    It wasn’t for lack of trying on his and Amanda’s part.  In fact, the pair had been working in tandem to try to lift the rising singer’s spirits and opinion of herself.  Unfortunately, Manson’s unmeaning outburst had done much more damage than either of them had anticipated.  The infamous male’s words had cut her somewhere vital deep inside and she just wasn’t bouncing back like she should  If things kept going like this, Johnny would simply take her into his own home until she de-stressed.  He was already severely tempted to do so as it was, believing that her being in the environment where so much upheaval had happened was only perpetuating the problem.  The only thing that kept him from simply doing it was his very real fear of what her reaction to such an action would be.

    This entire situation was only complicated by just how strongly Raven felt for Marilyn and just how long she had felt this way.  She placed so much importance in the performer that she held his opinion in ridiculously high esteem.  A fact the goth rocker had known very well when he had said what he did.  “I know your heart is in the right place Johnny but I really don’t know how social I’m going to be.  I don’t even know where you’re taking me,” came a soft reply, breaking the thespian out of his dark thoughts.

    “Its a surprise dear.  I’m hoping it’ll put a smile back on that pretty face of yours,” the tanned star responded, looking at the female to his right out of the corner of his eyes.  His heart plummeted when she simply shrugged listlessly and resumed watching the peaceful scenery of California.

    “Sorry but I highly doubt anything is gonna do that at this point,” she whispered, her voice quiet and emotionless as her hand sat in his limply.  Depp only winced in response, lifting her hand to his lips to give the delicate appendage a kiss.

    It was all too soon when Raven found herself on a very busy movie set, watching actors bustle back and forth with their handlers in tow.  The director herself turned to the pair before breaking into a huge smile and spreading her arms wide open.  “Johnny!  I’m so glad you made it!  Is this the friend you were talking about?” she chirped as one of the many actors milling around behind her also started to approach.  The man following along like a lost puppy looked more and more familiar the closer he got and by the time he had gotten close enough, the young singer had snapped entirely from her stupor and had turned into a blushing pile of jello.  A fact that wasn’t lost on the man slightly in front of her and to her right.

    “Hey John!  Is she the one you told me so much about?” asked the newcomer as Depp gave the blushing femme hiding behind him a slight smirk.

    “Yeah she is.  Leo, I would like you to meet Raven,” the smug looking thespian purred, scooting the brick red musician to the front and introducing her to Leonardo Di Caprio.

    Soon the star was treated to a very welcome sight, Raven laughing and joking as if nothing bad had ever happened.  Everyone on set treated her nicely, making sure she was well fed and hydrated.  The director had even offered her a part as an extra, something the shy female turned down politely.  While she had always been interested in acting, she was just too introverted to be comfortable in front of a camera.  Hell, she was probably too introverted to even be a singer but she had little choice at this point.  Thankfully the actors milling around had plenty of helpful advice for getting over performance jitters.  She felt so comfortable in fact, that she very nearly forgot her fiance and the recent tragedy she had suffered.

    When it came time to take her home once more, Johnny found himself very reluctant.  Today had only proven his earlier theory about her being away from the house and he knew she would only take a nosedive if she was forced to return there.  So, with a nervous expression on his face, the actor approached her once his costume had been removed and offered her a rather strange proposition.  He was bracing himself for a long fight and was taken quite by surprise when the black clad artist agreed after a brief moment of thought.  Her only condition was that he get some clothes and her dog for her.  If she went back in the house, she would never leave again.

    Amanda groaned as she leaned back against the shorter couch on the left side of the longer couch, her green eyes shut as she took deep breaths to calm her roiling stomach.  This had been going on for a week after her wedding night with Ginger and she had a pretty good idea of what was going on.  The only thing that kept her from simply telling everyone was the simple fact that she had wanted to be sure, at first.  Now, her reasons were fairly obvious.  It would be cruel to tell her friend such news so soon after her loss.  Still, she wouldn’t have the luxury of hiding it for much longer and there was still the fact that she hadn’t told her husband.

    It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she just hadn’t gotten the chance before Raven had her accident.  If she told him now, he would insist on turning around and coming back home; an action that wouldn’t be good for her long-time companion.  This was yet another thing that she couldn’t wait forever on, however.  She would have to tell him, sooner rather than later.  The brown haired journalist was broken out of her thoughts by Johnny coming into the house, alone.  Pale brow wrinkling in confusion and concern, the twenty-nine year old found herself remembering what the actor had said a few days earlier.  “Where’s Megs?” she asked, shooting to her feet in alarm.  She only relaxed when the older male gave her a reassuring smile.

    “Easy Mandy, she’s just fine.  Better than she has been in a while.  She’s... going to be staying with me for a while.  She and I both think the environment isn’t doing her any good.  Manson is all over the house, constantly reminding her of what happened.  I really believe some time away will help and she agrees.  She just... can’t come in the house.  There are too many memories in here.  She would be tempted to stay and I don’t think she can carry on like this for much longer,” he explained, staying in place as the protective female absorbed the information.

    After a few seconds of silence, she slowly nodded with a slightly uncomfortable expression on her pale face.  “I agree.  Let me pack her some clothes.  I’m sure there are some things she would rather me grab for her,” the writer offered with a wavering smile before she moved toward the staircase leading upstairs.  She only stopped when she felt a warm, gentle grip on her tiny wrist.  Turning her head, she saw Johnny giving her a concerned look.

    “You okay?” the handsome man whispered, something in his earnest expression causing the dam within her to break.  In one movement, she wrapped her arms around the taller man and began to cry.

    “I’m sorry, its just... I haven’t been alone in years.  Raven and I always go everywhere together.  On top of that, this place doesn’t really feel like home to me,” she confessed, clinging to a man she knew she had no right to cling to but she couldn’t help it.  Her husband was on tour and she was more afraid than she could ever remember being.  She needed someone to just hold her for a second and Johnny had always seemed so understanding with her best friend.  Thankfully the star gave her a tight hug, rubbing her back to help soothe her.

    “I would offer to let you stay too but someone needs to look after the house as well as the animals,” he whispered, feeling nothing but sympathy for the smaller woman.  She may have her quirks but her heart was always in the right place as far as Raven was concerned.

    “I know.  I’m going to be calling her often though,” Amanda replied, pulling away from the movie star’s arms to give him a small smile.  Then she headed upstairs to pack a bag for her friend.  She was completely taken off guard when she found that Kathy was missing.

    Manson laid in the arms of his ex-boyfriend, his naked face burrowed deep in the other male’s chest as he held a familiar, well-loved dog plush tightly against him.  Tears flowed down his cheeks freely as his shoulders shook violently.  “I should have fuckin’ been there when it happened.  I shoulda been the first one she saw when she woke up in the hospital.  Instead I was on tour.  Not only that but I fucking yelled at her, telling her exactly what she didn’t need to hear from me,” he growled, his hands curling into shaking fists as Jeordie gently pet his inky locks.

    “Shhh, you couldn’t have known that something like that would happen,” the former guitarist reasoned, his voice quiet and comforting as he assured the man in his arms for the hundredth time in only a few days.

    The distraught performer only shook his head slowly as a low moan of misery left him.  He knew Twiggy was right but he couldn’t help but cling onto the guilt he felt.  In some, sick way; he felt he deserved this raw, gnawing pain.  In fact, he found himself actively looking for ways to tear the still sore wound wide open.  What he felt now couldn’t possibly equate a portion of the agony he had caused Raven.  A woman who had become so much more than a girlfriend to him.  She had become his very universe, the reason why he even got up in the morning.  He even strove to take better care of himself and slow down on his drinking simply because he didn’t want her to worry.  She had made him want to be the man Dita had tried to force him to be all those years ago.  He honestly felt like he had betrayed her with what he said, especially given how she had idolized him before they had met.

    The only thing that drew him out of his spiraling pit of despair was a soft pair of lips covering his.  A large hand came up to cup his face as well, Jeordie releasing a soft sigh against his mouth.  “I’m proud of you Manny.  You may be beating yourself up but you have yet to turn back to your normal vices.  Despite how much pain you’re in, you have yet to turn to alcohol to ease it.  Instead, you came to someone you trusted; a huge step for you,” the dreadlock wearing musician whispered  just before a tongue licked his lips.  The shattered rocker released a soft sound that was half desperation, half hesitant.  Twiggy complied by deepening the kiss and slowly rolling the taller man onto his bare back.

    Then he was breaking the kiss to give his former boss a smoldering look.  Lust and sympathy mixed in his chocolate orbs as he fumbled with Manson’s skin tight, black jeans.  The normally domineering man only panted heavily, something almost innocent in his mismatched eyes.  “Please Jeo...,” he rasped, his hips lifting to allow the removal of his jeans and revealing he was entirely bare underneath.  His sizeable erection pulsed as a bead of milky pre dribbled down the veined shaft.  Just seeing it called to something primal within the normally submissive musician.

    “Don’t worry Mare, by the end of tonight you’ll be lucky to remember your own name,” the darker skinned man husked, bending down to nuzzle at the goth rocker’s needy member.  The performer only released a heavy moan before biting his lower lip and lowering his eyes submissively.

    Smirking slightly, Jeordie took the hard shaft into his mouth and began to suck; reveling in the small sounds Manson released.  Soon hands were tangling in his corded locks, tugging lightly when he increased speed.  “T-twigs, oh f-fuck,” the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ practically whimpered, his bony hips thrusting eagerly.  The former guitarist only smirked wider, reaching down to ply the singer’s pucker with two dextrous fingers.  As the tip of his index finger breached the tight ring, the rock star beneath him released a breathy keen of sheer need.

    “P-please,” the gasping male moaned, his legs spreading as his dark haired head tilted back and his heterochromic eyes slid shut.

    Jeordie only purred softly, releasing Manson’s weeping member to lick the fingers he had been teasing the singer with.  “Tell me what you want Manny.  I might give it to you,” he whispered, inwardly hoping this would get his former lover’s mind of his self hatred and misplaced guilt.

    “Ooooo, I-I want... oh shit Jeo.  I want you i-inside me,” whimpered the squirming performer, a light flush of embarrassment and need on his pale cheeks.  The musician only chuckled before removing his fingers to position his tip at his former boss’ tight pucker.  Then he was entering slowly, groaning deep in his throat at how tight Marilyn was.

    “Nnn fuck Mare, are you sure you’re okay?” he gasped out, only getting a heated moan in response as a pair of black nailed hands landed on the bronzed skin of his shoulders.

    This was the only encouragement he needed to lean forward so his forehead rested against the superstar’s as he began to take the taller man slowly.  The sounds Manson released in response, as well as the way his back arched, only drove him to move faster; his breath leaving in harsh pants as he felt the other man’s silky passage almost milking his shaft.  Then he began taking the singer hard and fast, hitting his prostate unerringly and causing the most delectable sounds to issue up from his chest.  With a low snarl, Twiggy began taking the rocker hard and fast; latching onto where his shoulder met his neck with his teeth.  All too soon the pair was cumming in unison, Manson calling out for Raven in a voice that made the former guitarist’s heart ache.

    Pulling out, Jeordie scooped the whimpering singer into his arms and began to pet his hair soothingly.  Marilyn only released a shuddering sigh before burrowing into the other man’s lightly muscled chest.  “Raven,” he sighed in a broken voice, tears slipping from his closed eyes as he slowly drifted into sleep.

    “I know Mare, I know,” the ex-musician sighed softly, pressing a kiss to his ex’s forehead as his brow crinkled in concern.  He had never seen the normally brash goth rocker so utterly broken before.  It was almost as if he had lost a part of himself by leaving Raven behind in her time of need.  All Jeordie could do was support his gaunt friend through this crisis and just pray to God that he pulled through alright.

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