TradeChat Will Play

BY : sojothepale
Category: Celebrities - Misc > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 1085
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction! I do not know TradeChat, and I do not profit from these writings.

A trip to New York and I wouldn't even lay an eye on a single skyscraper. Sure, Rome wasn't famous for its high rise buildings or acting as the setting for the movie 'Coming to America' but I wouldn't miss either. For one long week my view would shift from that of the rural tapestries painted across the Midwest, still blurred by the tinge of wide-open nothingness. Society awaited, my feet couldn't be whisked away any faster, anxious to flee from such a cacophony of tumbleweeds and cowpokes. I caught glimpses of the Truman Show as my mind thumbed through memories to parallel this moment; finally, Danielle's house was within sight...or at least what I recalled of her insidiously vague description.

"This seems to be it...but keep it running." I offhandedly stated to the Uber driver, only catching a glimpse of his less than thrilled expression through the passenger side mirror. Attempting to placate my chauffeur with minimal effort wasn't ideal, but he was being paid either way - double should I be sent away by gunfire. The next series of footsteps created an all too familiar knot within the pit of my stomach, harkening back to the time I meandered over to my eighth grade Science teacher's house to inform her that I was the one who posted fake nudes of her on the school website. Though not at all guilt ridden, my nerves were still erratic as I knocked on the front door with all the gusto of a sobbing child. Mere seconds after my venture into parts unknown, you would have thought the ambush scene from 'The Lion King' was suddenly blared to full blast, sending my heart racing even further - this was it, I had the wrong house and had just woke up a family who spent all night trying to get their belligerent child to sleep...louder and louder the noise barreled through my entire being, my heart nearly erupting from my chest when all of fears were put aside as Danielle swung open the door.

Initially, I figured I was seeing only what I wanted to see; but sure enough, there she stood, pastel hair and all.

"Oh my god, you're finally here!" Her shrill tone stunned my eardrums, jarring my thoughts until I realized she then paused for me to speak.

"I certainly am... but I'll be right back." Stepping away from the conversation, I rushed over to the Uber driver now impatiently rapping his fingers on the roof of his car. His attitude hardly phased me, as even a modicum of worriment was alleviated the second TradeChat came into view. I hadn't ventured outside the Bible belt prior to now, so the constant nagging thought that I would get lost stayed present up until a few seconds ago. With business taken care of, my attention then retreated back to Danielle who looked as though she had just opened the wrong present on Christmas morning.

"Ok! We can celebrate my arrival now!" I spritely exclaimed, then jumping up and down to mimic her previous reaction. As expected, I received textbook level smarm in response.

"Trent, shut up! I don't act like that, but I'm really happy to see you!" Her bony arms then wrapped around my neck as she made herself tall enough to hug me. "

Nice to finally visit, shorty. But can we do this inside?" I offered, gesturing with bag in hand.

"Nope, you have to stay outside." A much needed smirk crept onto my face, then solidifying that my vacation had finally started.


"I told Niko he didn't have to help, but he was insistent on cleaning and organizing everything before he left." Danielle addressed while acting as a tour guide. Niko, her husband, worked for an oil supply company, which saw him take long trips from home for extended periods of time.

"Sucks that things had to line up on the only week I had available." My eyes darted around her office, examining the mounds of dolls, posters, cut-outs, and other various memorabilia. Danielle, proud of her collection, immediately took notice.

"Yeahhh, it's a lotta crap." She took a stray stuffed animal and threw it in a pile with the others. Were Danielle as half as perverted as I, I would have asked how much dick she had to suck for this collection to be possible. Though our friendship extended to over ten years, I still didn't feel comfortable being lewd around women unless given a greenlight.

"I wish I had the sense to collect at an early age like this." I morosed.

"Didn't your dad give your Sega away?" Danielle recited, as though she was waiting for her line in a play. Unfortunately, this was a memory I thought had been forgotten.

"Yeah, he's a dick." My glare burned through the rainbow pile of stuffed animals sat in a corner. They didn't deserve it, and I knew it.

"Awww, I'm can have my lemon cat if you want." She retrieved a strange cat in the shape of a lemon and sat it on my shoulder.

"You seriously aren't gonna see this again." My tone flattened.

"Oh, I'm sure." Danielle turned around to escort me out. "Oh, and didn't you say you were gonna cook?" Her body swiveled around on a dime, Danielle's eyes now big as an anime character's.

"Did I? I think you just made that up." I promptly fired back, not at all recalling such a comment. TradeChat, mouth now agape, continued poking and prodding.

"Oh my god! You totally told me that!" She convincingly bellowed.

"This is a pile of burning trash and you know it." My expression was borderline chipper, though I seriously didn't recall saying such a thing - even though I could have just prepared a decent meal, I didn't want to lose this fight.

"You told me on Skype, want proof? Cuz I got proof." She whipped out her phone, prepared to expose me. It was at this point that a microbead of a sweat began to form on my forehead, because even though I was 90% certain I didn't, in any way, mention that I would cook at any point during my weeklong visit...I had a terrible memory. And if Danielle had proof in the form of a message on Skype, I couldn't even plead ignorance in the form of alcohol because she was well aware of my straight-edge status.

"Sure, well...let's see it then." I spoke up, voice slightly on the verge of cracking. The expression TradeChat hurled my way notified me that she was, in fact, aware of my sudden tenor.

The situation itself wasn't a big deal, but a minor degree of anxiety accumulated simply because I was intent on arguing. Seconds passed and Danielle made a slight smacking noise as her mouth opened - the taste of victory surely being sweet.

"Right here, mister!" She evoked such a childlike sense of wonder and excitement, married with a snide persona that made you just want to punch her. Her phone illuminated my face briefly, with one finger pointed at a particular set of text bubbles which read:

donaldchump: "Nah, I'll cook."

TradeChat: "Omg, you can cook?"

donaldchump: "I mean, if you want your house burnt down."

"See? Proof!" She snatched her phone out of view and began dancing as though she had just discovered a golden ticket.

"That's....what?" I reached for her phone, not to be taken in by her cute charm, evoking her more athletic side as she sprinted toward the kitchen. "You lying hussy!" I yelled at nothing. Though short, her attitude and demeanor carried with it a certain level of assertion and overall mystique, all that remained was for her to cackle about having killed Sirius Black. Luckily, her shrill voice was now soothing in some weird, Stockholm syndrome fashion.

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