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Such Synful Thoughts	By : Need2ScreamNow Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Avenged Sevenfold Views: 3118 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Avenged Sevenfold. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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They pulled up in front of Jimmy’s house around six; Zack closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he got out of the car. Matt was already out, leaning against the car.

“Ready?” Zack whispered staring at the front door. Matt reached down and took his hand; Zack looked around the neighborhood nervously.

Paranoia: Oh God what if someone sees us!
Reality: Someone already leaked this to the public
Denial: But only as a rumor, no one knows if it’s true.

“Zack everyone already has an idea and we’re going to tell them anyway.” Matt whispered and kissed his forehead. Zack nodded, “I know it’s just…habit I guess.” He gave Matt’s hand a squeeze and the singer smiled at him.

Johnny answered the door and jumped on Zack, “I was worried about you. I thought you were mad at me ‘cause I made you go see Brian. You aren’t are you? You’re not mad?” His words almost blurred together and it took Zack a moment to unscramble everything.

Reality: No we aren’t mad at you Johnny!

“No, no Johnny I was never mad at you. I just…I had to get away for awhile.” He hugged the small bassist and Johnny relaxed against him. Matt stayed off to the side and Zack reached over and dragged him closer. Once Johnny decided to let him go they went into the living room where Jimmy was sitting on the couch vacantly staring at the ceiling with a sleeping Brian’s head in his lap. The drummer blinked and shook his head when Johnny curled up in another chair next to him.

“So.” He said quietly, Brian stirred and started to wake. “What are we going to talk about?”

Zack took Matt’s hand again and he felt the anger growing inside the singer cool. He sat down across from Jimmy and looked at the floor. He wasn’t entirely sure what they were going to talk about to smooth this out but they had to find themselves again if they were going to survive the storm of media that was beginning to brew.

Reality: This started with Brian. We need to end it with Brian.
Denial: No way.
Reality: Yes.

He took a deep breath and glanced at Matt; he and Jimmy were glaring at each other.

Reality: Well, someone has to be a model for peace.
Denial: We are not forgiving him.
Reality: Why not?
Denial: Are you serious? He raped us!
Reality: And since Jimmy didn’t tell us that someone else drove that knife into his chest we can only assume he did it himself.
Denial: Forgiveness lets him off too easily.
Reality: He will never forgive himself even if we do. He’s going to always hate himself for that and you know it.
Denial: He doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.
Reality: It’s Brian; he’s a little broken and sometimes does things he regrets, but he’s always been there for us, just like Matt.
Denial: Matt didn’t rape us.
Reality: It’s Brian.

Zack looked up and then made up his mind. Slowly he let go of Matt’s hand and stood, he felt Matt watching him but unless he called for him the singer would let him do this by himself. Jimmy’s eyes shifted from him to Matt and back again suspiciously but Zack ignored him. He walked over and kneeled next to Brian; his body was tense and his breathing was too even for him to be asleep. Zack reached up and gently took his hand, his fingers stayed limp.

Reality: He is trying way too hard to pretend he’s asleep.
Denial: Get away from him he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.

“Brian…it’s okay.” His whisper was softer than the flutter of angel wings but slowly Brian’s fingers curled around his and his eyes slowly opened. No one in the room moved, he could feel Jimmy and Matt staring at him intently but he kept himself focused on the injured man in front of him. Brian’s body tensed and he sat up, unconsciously Zack flinched away from him a little and immediately he relaxed again. Zack stood and carefully tugged his hand and Brian, more carefully, sat up and Zack hugged him.

Brian’s POV

He couldn’t believe it when Zack grabbed his hand much less when he told him it was okay.

Denial: What? I...I don’t…what?
Reality: My God…he…he’s…

He must’ve sat up too fast because Zack shrank away from him, he lay back down again but Zack kept hold of his hand and after a second he gently tugged on it. Moving slower he carefully sat up again and Zack hugged him.

Reality: What is going on?
Denial: This must be a dream, there’s no way he would forgive us.

He pressed his face against his neck and held him tightly, Zack’s long fingers gently ran through his longish hair and Brian felt tears burn his eyes.

Denial: We don’t deserve this…
Reality: We don’t; but he is. He’s forgiving us.

“I love you Brian.” Zack’s soft whisper was almost impossible to hear but the words came to him like he had screamed them.

“I’m sorry Zack. I’m sorry.” Tears started to escape him and he kissed Zack’s cheek. The smaller guitarist continued to whisper to him while he apologized over and over again.

Reality: The boy has a heart of gold and the forgiveness capacity of a Saint.
Disbelief: Why…why is he forgiving us?
Denial: He probably just feels sorry for us since we tried to kill ourselves

He didn’t know how long he sat there with Zack holding him and he didn’t care. He felt himself growing tired, the pain medication usually knocked him out for an hour or two, but he was afraid if he moved Zack would shove him to the ground and tell him he hated him. He tried to fight the drowsiness but he was losing terribly, he moved to a more comfortable position against Zack and quickly fell asleep.

Reality: Oh my God we fell asleep! Get up!
Denial: It was all a dream I knew it!

He jerked himself awake and sat up and looked around. He was on the floor, the last place he remembered being was on the couch mostly in Zack’s lap.

“Chill man. It’s okay.” Jimmy whispered. He looked over and saw Jimmy sitting next to him, Johnny was sitting cross-legged next to him and Matt was stretched out next to Zack.

“You guys didn’t kill each other?” he whispered. Jimmy snorted and Matt answered without opening his eyes, “We didn’t want to wake you guys up.”

“That was awfully nice of you.” Zack murmured next to him. He sat up and rubbed eyes, “How long have we been asleep?”

Jimmy looked at his watch, “Almost two hours.”

Denial: Oh my God, they could’ve woken us up!
Reality: We didn’t wake up when the moved us to the floor, the pain meds pretty much render us unconscious.
Sex Drive: Damn those pills, I had a great dream all worked up for us and we were to far gone to get to it >_<
Reality/Denial: Thank God.
Reality: How embarrassing would *that* be
Denial: I don’t even want to think about it.

“Sooo, how long have you two been dating?” Johnny asked looking from Zack to Matt. Zack’s face flushed a little and, as if he’d been called, Matt sat up and leaned his head on Zack’s shoulder, “Almost three years.” He said quietly.

Reality/Denial/Sex Drive/Brian: O_O

He felt his mouth fall open but he didn’t have the will power to close it, he turned slowly and looked at Jimmy and Johnny, their expressions mirrored his.

Reality: How the fuck did we miss that?!
Denial: He’s lying; there no way in hell all three of us missed that.
Sex Drive: *speechless*

It stayed quiet until Johnny let out a low whistle, “Well…that’s uh, a lot longer than I thought.” He said staring at them. Zack kept his eyes down and curled against Matt’s broad chest.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Brian whispered. Matt opened his mouth to answer but Zack interrupted, “I didn’t want to.” He chewed on one of his lip rings nervously until Matt moved and wrapped an arm around his waist, then his body relaxed and he finally looked up.

“Why not?” Johnny sounded a little hurt. Zack looked at him briefly, “I was…am…scared.” He whispered as he looked once more to the floor.

“Why? You know we don’t care.” Jimmy said gently pulling Brian against him, the guitarist gratefully relaxed as his wound started to ache from the strain of sitting up on his own.

“It wasn’t you guys…it was everyone else.” He started to tense up again but Matt pressed a small kiss to his temple and he relaxed again. Jimmy sighed, “Three years. Jesus and I thought we were bein’ sneaky.”

Johnny snorted, “Please, I know the day and the time for when you guys hooked up.”

“It wasn’t that obvious.” Jimmy said defensively.

“Yes it was.” The three replied in unison.

Denial: If it was that obvious the tabloids would’ve been all over it.
Reality: They’ve known us for years; I think it would be a little obvious to them.
Denial: We’ve known Zack and Matt for years too.
Reality: Touché

Zack relaxed more as the mood lightened but he still looked a little stressed.

“What was the thing you wanted to talk about?” Brian asked hoping that was the right question. Zack tensed and none of the subtle things Matt had done before lessoned that tension.

Reality: Oh dammit.
Denial: Wrong question.

“You know what,” Matt sighed, “it’s been an interesting night, just come by my house tomorrow and we’ll tell you there.”

“Okay, what time?” Jimmy asked stretching a little.

“Somewhere around ten?”

The others nodded and then they all started the long process of getting off the floor. Jimmy picked him up by his shoulders as his stitches protested the movement, he wrapped an arm securely around his waist and Brian tiredly leaned against him.

“Alright, night guys.” Matt said, “Are you staying with me tonight?” he murmured softly to Zack when he thought they were out of earshot. Zack shook his head slightly, “I haven’t been home at all, but I’ll wake you up nice and early tomorrow.” He snickered. And then they were out the door and he couldn’t hear anymore of their conversation.

Matt’s POV

He didn’t know what woke him, but intuition told him it wasn’t the wind. He lay in bed breathing quietly straining his ears for whatever had dragged him out of a dead sleep. Cautiously he swung his legs over the side of the bed and moved silently toward the door, the morning light shone brightly on the light blue carpet of his bedroom in an eerily cheerful way. He opened the door and listened and was greeted with an oppressive silence, his heart thudded in his ears as he moved slowly into the hallway. He knew Zack would’ve come bounding up the stairs and tackled him while he was in bed any of the others would’ve at least called out; there was someone in his house and he didn’t know who they were.

He crept down the stairs, stopping and listening every third step or so. The house stayed ominously silent. A floor board creaked in the living room, he froze on the step he was on and glared at the wall separating him from the room. He only had one more step before his feet would be visible to anyone in the foyer or living room.

He waited quietly for another sound to give away the intruders position—someone closed a cabinet in the kitchen—quickly he finished going down the stairs. The stairs began in the living room but the large entryway to the kitchen was next to them. He stood on the bottom step for a moment and he could hear someone softly pacing back and forth on the polished wood floor. Judging by the sound of the footsteps he guessed they were only a little bigger than Johnny; he could deal with them easily.

“Matthew Sanders.” The deep voice echoed through the silent house and made his heart seek shelter in his throat. He whipped around and saw the second intruder still in the living room. He looked to be more bear than man with a short unkempt beard and black cropped hair; he was wearing loafers, black casual pants, and a short sleeved button up polo. His forearms were covered with long dark hair and his beady brown eyes reminded Matt of some kind of rodent. The bear-man raised his arm and in his hand held one of the biggest handguns he had ever seen. He pulled the trigger, with the silencer attached it only made a small coughing sound, and the impact of the bullet slammed Matt against the wall.

He fell to the floor gasping in pain and pressed a hand to the gushing wound in his stomach. The man in the kitchen came around the corner; he was much smaller than his partner, more birdlike. His pointy nose and faded blue eyes dominated his face. He leveled his own weapon and delivered another round to his chest and then without another word they turned and left.

Zack’s POV

He woke up suddenly, like someone had come in and shaken him awake, he sat up and looked around his room. Nothing stirred. A growing feeling of dread began to form in his stomach and a shiver of fear worked its way down his spine. He tossed his covers aside and stood up and quickly got dressed. He didn’t know what was wrong but he was scared and he wanted Matt.

He pulled up to Matt’s house and the dreaded feeling was replaced with panic; the front door was open, not much, but it was enough. He ran up to the house and ran inside, “Matt! Matt where are you?” His voice sounded strained and high as adrenaline pulsed through him. He heard a rasping cough and ran toward the kitchen.

Matt was on his back in a burgeoning pool of blood, his tanned and tattooed chest was covered in the red fluid. He felt his world tilt and slowly begin to spin out of orbit as he stumbled over to his bleeding lover, “Matt? Matty wake up. Matty wake up, can you hear me?” tremors shook his voice and his body as he numbly fumbled for his phone. He pulled Matt’s upper half into his lap and wrapped his arms around his chest so he could hold him and put pressure on the gushing wounds in his chest and stomach; through tears told the 911 operator he needed an ambulance.

“Zack?” Matt’s wheezing whisper instantly caught his attention and he softly kissed his forehead, “its okay Matty I’m right here. Just stay awake okay? Stay awake.”

Matt’s hazel eyes were dull with pain, “Zacky…Zack.” His breath gurgled in his chest and more blood poured from his wounds.

“Shh, Matt its okay, it’ll be alright. Just stay awake okay, I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. It’ll be okay.”

He coughed again and his breathing became shorter and more ragged, weakly he nuzzled his head under Zack’s chin, “Love…you” he whispered. Zack choked on a sob and held him tightly, “I love you too, Matty stay awake. Stay with me, please, please Matty I need you.”

The singer’s cold body shook against him as he struggled to breathe, “Angel…love, sorry.”

Zack captured his cold lips in a kiss, he could feel his strong heart slowing, and he responded weakly to the soft kiss. His heart skipped a beat and haphazardly stared again for a second before it skipped again and then for a second he felt Matt’s lips and tongue move against his before his heart skipped once more and didn’t start again.

A/N: *sniff* T_T
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Such Synful Thoughts