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Until You Lose Your Breath II	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
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Kyo heard the alarm of the clock go off, but he just wanted to smash the damn thing into a wall and sleep. He hated mornings. He hated them perhaps more than anything in the world.
Kaoru next to him stirred and turned off the alarm, got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. Kyo could hear a faint noise of him taking a piss and then washing his hands. Then Kaoru reappeared in the bedroom and started rummaging in the closet.
“Kyo, get up.”
Kyo just ignored him and tried to catch a few more priceless minutes of sleep.
“Kyo, I’m really not in a mood of doing this again, not this morning.”
Kyo almost sighed. He knew Kaoru hated to drag Kyo out of bed the last minute and be late because of him. But Kyo hated mornings even more. So he didn’t budge.
“Kyo, fucking get up already!”
“Nnn…” was all Kyo managed to utter. He heard Kaoru come up to the bed. The blanket suddenly flew off Kyo exposing him naked in the bed. Kyo now barely ever put on anything while sleeping. The mood for sex would sometimes come in the most unexpected moments. And on the whole, he simply liked to sleep naked. Now, without a blanket, it was too cold.
“Kyo, get up already. Or I’ll kick you in the nuts.”
Kyo lifted his hand and showed Kaoru his middle finger.
“I’m serious here, cutie pie.”
“Fucking short midget” Kyo mumbled hating the pet name, but finally sat in bed and glared at Kaoru. Kaoru smiled at the view.
“Why are you ALWAYS so fucking happy in the fucking half past five in the morning?!” Kyo practically spat his words sending daggers at Kaoru.
“Because a new wonderful day started when I can enjoy my beloved job, my band and career and then have cozy or crazy evening with my lover who is just a perfect pain in the ass almost all the time. Include a literary meaning of the last word here as well.” Kaoru grinned.
“I fucking hate to get up so early!”
“I know” Kaoru chuckled. He looked Kyo between the legs and smiled pleased with the view. Kyo’s private parts were exposed quite nicely.
“Quit staring at me.”
“Now, Kyo, get up and go to shower. I’ll make breakfast. And don’t go back to sleep! Cause I swear – I’ll really kick you in the nuts!”
“I know!” Kyo shot back and stood up with some difficulty. He always didn’t have any sense of balance in the mornings, like he just started to learn walking. His eyes were also almost shut because the light was so bright and it hurt his eyes. And on top of that, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep every morning seemed to him to be the privilege that he always didn’t get because Kaoru always made him get up on time.
And speaking of Kaoru… the bastard really kicked him in the nuts one morning when Kyo just refused to get up. Since then Kyo never again tried to get on Kaoru’s nerves so early in the morning when they had to get up for work.
“Fucking prick… get up, get up… it’s fucking half past five in the fucking morning…”
Kyo showered swearing and fuming until finally he felt like he woke up. He dried himself and dressed. Then walked to the kitchen, still feeling a bit unbalanced.
“Feeling better?” Kaoru asked putting coffee on the table.
“A bit. But I’m still just so sleepy…”
“I know – I can see that. I’m so happy I’m a morning person unlike you. Because if I also hated mornings so much, we’d always be late.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Kyo chuckled. “Never thought about that before.”
He sat at the table and watched as Kaoru, still in his boxers, put the breakfast on the table and sat in front of Kyo.
“Not so much time is left until the big tour in USA” Kaoru said and Kyo nodded.
“Nervous?”
“I guess I am…” Kaoru sighted and took a bit bite of a sandwich. “First of all, there’s all the practical stuff, I’m so afraid to forget something. Then I’m afraid that we might not be received so well by the audience. And the fellow musicians? And on top of that… we’ll be travelling in a bus. Shinya and Die in the same space for such a long time, with Toshiya tailing along and being emo just because Miyavi is not here. And… and we’ll both be deprived from sex for so long.”
Kyo stared at Kaoru for a moment.
“Kao, listen. You don’t have to worry for more than half of these things. If the tour won’t be a success, it’s not your fault. You work so hard for the band that you’d be crazy to blame yourself for any disaster that happens, even the most insignificant one. The guys… well, just screw them! You can’t solve their problems, Kao-kun. And the last part…”
Kyo grinned maliciously.
“Don’t you even dare to say that there won’t be any sex. There will be parties and the buss will be empty, or many more opportunities…”
“Kyo, I don’t think…”
“Just don’t, Kaoru” Kyo interrupted him. “Are we really going to have an argument when there’s no problem yet?”
“You’re right.”
“I know I am” Kyo smiled.
“Glad to see you back in the world of living finally” Kaoru laughed.
“Coffee does miracles” Kyo smiled and sipped some more from the cup looking content.
Kaoru smiled watching Kyo and Kyo felt uncomfortable.
“What?”
“You’ll just get angry” Kaoru smiled.
“I won’t.”
“You look just so fucking cute with your hair all messed up, cheeks still having these marks from your pillow, and you sip coffee so… oh so cute, like a small, cuddly… cutie-pie!”
Kyo was speechless and that made Kaoru laugh hard.
“Sorry, Kyo-kun, but you should have seen yourself. You would agree. Even your tattoos don’t make you look aggressive or manly.”
Ooops. Kaoru stopped too late. The look on Kyo’s face now changed completely.
“I’m sorry, Kyo, but that’s not what I meant! It’s not an insult! And you are manly! Very manly!”
Kyo put down the mug and took some cereal not looking at Kaoru.
“I’m 30 years old, Kaoru. And you’re saying that I still look like a fucking child?” There was no way Kaoru could pretend he didn’t hear the tone of sadness and hurt in Kyo’s voice.
“Look, Kyo, just listen please. What I said, all these things about how cute and adorable you are… they are true. But I guess I just chose the wrong words to describe you. You have a perfectly manly, strong, muscular body that every boy could be jealous. You have all these tattoos that help you make your statement – don’t mess with me, I’m no pussy. But Kyo… you have to admit. You have a very gentle, loving and sensitive soul. That’s the boyish part of you that I always refer as cute and adorable. You care about things too much, you’re sad, you’re afraid to be happy, you so desperately cling to happy things in your life all the time thinking that it won’t last… Do I make any sense to you?”
Kyo looked at Kaoru and nodded.
“Kyo, I by no means wanted to insult you. I just expressed my thoughts in the shortest way and just said a stupid thing. I don’t think you are unmanly, because you are. But I know you inside out. And I love your gentle, loving side the most, because it is surely there.”
Kyo smiled finally.
“I’m not angry, Kaoru. Thanks… I guess… I didn’t know you saw me this way…”
“It’s nothing bad, I hope?”
“I guess not… though I really don’t want to be gentle and sensitive and so on…”
Kaoru sighted and caught Kyo’s hand on the table and held it.
“The way you act all cocky and pissed off all the time at work nobody could really tell what you truly are. Well, expect the other three, but they’re friends, close friends.”
Kyo squeezed Kaoru’s hand in response.
“Just don’t call me cutie pie again” Kyo said and Kaoru laughed.
“Oh no, mister! Every morning when you will feel like being a royal pain in the ass, you will get my royal treatment as well!”
Kyo laughed and took his hand out of Kaoru’s, taking his coffee again.
“Bastard!”
They finished breakfast and Kaoru went to shower. Or, actually, Kaoru finished breakfast first and left Kyo still eating. It was always like that. Kyo just couldn’t find any appetite in the mornings, so he always ate super slowly.
“Done already?” Kaoru asked entering the kitchen. Kyo nodded and they finally were ready to leave.
When they reached the studio, only Die was there.
“Hey, Die!” Kaoru greeted and got only a nod in response.
“I’m going to start today’s work” Kaoru said. “You both can start warming up.”
Kyo and Die nodded and Kaoru left the room. Die sighted, took his guitar and started playing random short melodies. Kyo sat next to him.
“Die?”
Die looked up and stopped playing.
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Really, Die, how are you?”
“Don’t ask me Kyo if you don’t want to hear the truth.”
“Don’t be stupid, I’m asking just because I want to know the truth.”
“You know fucking well that I’m not fine! So what? There’ nothing to do about it! I’ll just have to wait until my feelings for him will fade with time and it all gets better. Got any better suggestions?”
Kyo shook his head and Die snorted angrily.
“Then leave me alone. I need to warm up.”
Kyo stood up and left Die in peace. He wanted to do something to help him, but just couldn’t think of anything at all.
***
Toshiya inhaled the smoke and looked around. He was at the entrance of the building they were currently working in. He waited for Shinya, who finally showed up from the direction of a car park.
“Hi!” Toshiya greeted him and smiled.
“Hi.” Shinya smiled back, but only half-heartedly.
“Could you wait for me?” Toshiya asked. “I’m almost finished.”
“Sure.”
“So… how have you been doing lately?”
“Not bad” came a rehearsed answer immediately.
“Shinya… I…” Toshiya thought it would be much easier, since Shinya was such a gentle and caring person. But Toshiya still found it very hard to utter a word of what he wanted to say. Maybe because he knew how Shinya was hurt by everything that happened and Toshiya didn’t help at all. On the contrary, he made it clear that he didn’t care about him or Die because he was hurt the most. Or at least that’s what Toshiya thought.
“Shinya-kun, I’m sorry…”
“For what?” Shinya was sincerely surprised and looked curiously at Toshiya.
“For all the hurtful things I said to you.”
Shinya sighed and looked at the sky. It was a nice, sunny day. No cloud in the sky. It made him feel lighter in his heart even if just a little bit.
“Totchi, I was never angry on you for anything. Those things you said… I was not surprised, really. You were hurt and you just didn’t know what to do. You would have blamed the emperor if you thought he was also to blame for what happened with Miyavi…”
Toshiya smiled guiltily.
“So you’re not angry with me?”
“No, Totchi, I’m not.”
“That’s great” Toshiya sighted in relief. “I really thought you might be.”
Toshiya finished his cigarette in silence and they went in. They found Die and Kyo in a room, each doing something on their own. Kaoru came in soon after. He looked quite pleased with something.
“What is it, Kao?” Kyo asked curiously.
“Oh, nothing at all. It’s just going very smoothly. The preparation of the tour, I mean.”
“That’s great, Kaoru-kun” Toshiya said.
“Oh, you, Totchi…” Kaoru started but Toshiya managed to interrupt him.
“Just drop it right now, Kaoru! I am NOT going to rethink my actions and split up with him. That’s final and you know it!”
“Well, I can’t force you to do that. I would just like to force some sense into you.”
“Save yourself trouble, Kao” Toshiya snorted.
“Look, how confident you suddenly became!” Kyo laughed. “You used to sit in a corner all depressed and suffering like some martyr… and now you’re just a fighter!”
“Isn’t it better, then?” Toshiya shot back. “I think one depressed suicidical psycho in a band is too much!”
Kyo threw an empty paper cup from coffee at Toshiya but it missed.
“Shut up!”
“Kyo, I thought you said something about being 30 years old this morning” Kaoru laughed and Kyo got even more irritated.
“Just leave me alone!”
Kaoru laughed and Toshiya looked smug.
“Well, when you put it this way, it is really better that you’re in a fighter mode instead of an unhappy looser” Kaoru mused loudly. “But just remember one thing, Totchi. If Miyavi screws up once more, I am not even going to say sorry to you. No skipping work, no depressions will be allowed because it will be only your fault.”
“Don’t worry, Kaoru, it won’t happened again” Toshiya smiled and Kaoru nodded.
“Ok, guys, practice time! Do you realize that it’s only 9 days until the tour starts?”
“We do, Kaoru. Quit nagging” Kyo said and stood up. “Let’s start working!”
Kaoru nodded and everyone prepared for a rehearsal. Kyo from a corner of his eyes watched Die who during the whole conversation was totally silent. Now he stood up, took his guitar and silently followed Kaoru. He didn’t even glance at anyone.
Kyo sighted silently and followed him, feeling very worried. This has to end someday. If he will continue like this, nothing good will happen. And I’m afraid that he might end up even worse than he is now.

TBC

I admit – I gave Kyo some of my own character traits in this chapter XD I hate waking up early SO MUCH and when I do, I usually need a minute to start walking normally and not swing around as if I was drunk >_< And I do eat so impossibly slow in the morning XD I’ve been asked many times if I fell asleep while chewing XD So yeah… I can’t imagine how anyone could possibly be happy at 5:30 in the morning >_<
And… Comments are love!!! ^^
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Until You Lose Your Breath II