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Such Synful Thoughts	By : Need2ScreamNow Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Avenged Sevenfold Views: 3118 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Avenged Sevenfold. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Matt’s POV

Zack’s soft voice broke through the fog of pain, “Matt? Matty wake up. Matty wake up, can you hear me?” his voice shook with fear and Matt wanted to sit up and hold him but the pain wouldn’t allow it. He felt himself being moved and that made the pain worse but it quickly settled when he felt wonderful warmth against his back. Zack pressed on his wounds and bright stars of agony flashed in front of his eyes; but it felt good to have the guitarist’s arms around him so he tried to ignore the pain and focus on Zack.

Something tugged his arm, he ignored it. A soft voice whispered to him and he brushed it off; he was staying with Zack. Finally someone grabbed his arms and started pulling him away from Zack.

Reality: Go away!
Denial: Who the hell is that?!
Hysteria: Tell Zack to leave, the people are back!
Denial: If they were back they would’ve killed him already.

“Zack?” he didn’t know who was trying to take him away or why Zack wasn’t stopping them.

“It’s okay Matty I’m right here. Just stay awake okay? Stay awake.” Zack pressed a warm kiss to his forehead and hugged him a little tighter. He was slipping farther away from his warm embrace; he fought with the hands trying to take him away.

Reality: Get your hands off me you damn dirty apes!
Denial: I don’t think that’s going to do anything.

“Zacky…Zack.” He needed Zack’s help, he could feel his limited strength draining but Zack stayed oblivious to the people holding him.

“Shh, Matt its okay, it’ll be alright. Just stay awake okay, I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. It’ll be okay.”

Say good-bye

Denial: NO!
Reality: Fuck off!

The voice was gentle and it lessoned some of his fear but not his anger; he wasn’t leaving Zack.

Say good-bye

Denial: No, we’re staying right here!
Reality: We’ll rip ‘em apart if they take us away

Say good-bye

There was a sharp tug and he could feel the cold creeping through his body as he struggled to stay with Zack’s warmth.

Reality: Maybe we’re not staying right here…
Denial: We won’t go without a fight!

“Love…you” he whispered; there was a warm wetness on his face as Zack’s tears fell on his cheek.

“I love you too, Matty stay awake. Stay with me, please, please Matty I need you.” The pain came back when he tightened his arms but not like it should have. It seemed distant, like he wasn’t really connected to it anymore. He tried to wrap his arms around Zack’s neck but his strength was dwindling and it was getting harder to fight the people taking him away.

Reality: Oh dammit.
Denial: No we won’t go!

“Angel…love, sorry.” He didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t help it. Zack pressed his warm lips against his cold ones, his silky tongue pressed against his and Matt wrestled himself free and flew back into his arms. His warmth surrounded him again and he kissed him back; his kidnappers jerked him away and the icy cold spread through him killing the warmth that had been there before.

He sat up suddenly absolutely livid.

Curiosity: Where the fuck are we? Where’s Zack? And who the fuck brought us here?
Reality: They will die slowly when we find them.
Denial: Them? How many people do you think we’re capable of fighting at the same time?

He stood and glanced around. He was in a bright, flowering field. His anger cooled a little as confusion took over.

Curiosity: Where are we?
Reality: We’re not in Kansas anymore.
Denial: That is an atrocious cliché

The sun was high in the robin egg blue sky; the long feathery, soft grasses were waving gently in the light breeze. A thousand wildflowers of every color were in bloom; he could hear bees buzzing industriously from one flower to the next and butterflies in as many colors as the flowers were floating lazily on the cool breeze.

“Zack?” he turned a quick circle but he was completely alone in the beautiful field.

Reality: It’s kind of hilly, go see if he’s somewhere else.
Denial: I think we would have heard him by now

He pushed the pessimistic voice to the side and set out to find his lover. He crested the first hill and felt his hopes sink; for as far as the eye could see the field stretched on, gently rolling hills seemed to be pushing it farther. Far off in the distance were the silhouettes of mountains, from where he was standing they were no bigger than the little hill in front of him.

Denial: They can’t be that far away
Reality: This is one big mother fucking field.

He looked to the south; massive trees edged the field and more flowers were growing in the shadowy depths under them.

Reality: Go back and look the other way, surely there’s some end to this thing
Denial: Do you see how far it goes?
Reality: What are the chances we were dropped off exactly in the middle?
Denial: I’d say pretty good. If they shot us they aren’t going to leave us in a field close to help.
Reality: They did shoot us…

He looked down at his bare chest; there was nothing, not even a scare to betray the bloody wounds that had been there.

Reality: What the fuck is going on?
Curiosity: Are we dead?
Denial: No we’re not dead! We’re walking around aren’t we?

He shook off the morbid thought and tried not to think about his remarkably healed wounds. He turned and started walking to a hill on the other side of the field.

The hill was a bit higher and much steeper than the last one he had been on but he was surprised when his breathing stayed slow and steady. Any other time he would have been panting by the time he reached the top; he was fine.

He reached the top and was startled to see a city no more than a half mile away. It wasn’t little either; it had skyscrapers at least fifty stories tall, massive office buildings, and church spires as far as the field had gone in the other direction. He didn’t see any cars but people were walking around the paved streets, going in and out of stores, and chatting with each other.

Reality: It’s a city. In the middle of a field. What the hell?
Denial: We must have been drugged or something.
Curiosity: Why the hell would someone put a city out here?

He watched the people on the streets for a moment before he shrugged and started walking toward it.

The city was looming before him when an older looking man waved at him; he had a kind, grandfatherly smile and the apprehension that had been building inside of him dissipated. He was wearing a suit that Matt had only seen in history museums; gray suit pants with a white shirt and a matching gray vest and jacket, he had a small bowler hat the same color as the rest of his outfit and the gold rims of his bifocals glinted in the sunlight.

“Hello my boy!” He had a pleasing tenor voice and as he drew closer Matt could see his eyes were a twinkling grey color. His face was deeply lined with age, the grey and white of his small mustache also betrayed his age; Matt guessed he was in his late seventies if not early eighties.

“You’re certainly a smart one; usually we have to go get people so they don’t wander too far off in the wrong direction. I thank you for making my job easier. The name’s Charles.” He came all the way up to him and shook his hand.

Reality: What?
Denial: I think he’s senile.

“Come, we’ve got your accommodations all ready for you.” He started to walk away but stopped when Matt didn’t move. He took in Matt’s bewildered expression and his eyes took on a touch of sadness, like waves under a rainy sky, “Ah…it seems your intuition has led you the right way.” He walked back over and stood directly in front of Matt, his tall, willowy figure wasn’t as imposing as Matt thought it would be.

“Son, do you know where you are?” his voice made Matt feel like a child again, like he was sitting at his grandparent’s house listening to his grandfather question him on the different names of the birds out the window. He shook his head, like he had done when he was little, and Charles sighed, “This city is called Crossway. For most people back on earth they call it Limbo.”

Denial: He’s crazy
Reality: Abort, abort! Runaway!

He tried to think up an excuse that would get him away from the crazy man in front of him but Charles grabbed his arm and held it in an iron grip that did not match his years. Matt looked up at him surprised.

“Mathew Sanders you are dead. You were shot fatally in the chest.” Charles’ voice took on an authoritative edge. Matt shook his head and tried to pull his arm away but the old man wouldn’t let go.

Denial: He’s lying, we’re not dead. He’s just a crazy old man.
Reality: We were shot, once in the stomach and once in the chest…
Denial: Lies.
Reality: We were shot! Zack was holding us…then there was a voice and it got cold…
Denial: Nope, nope, no. We’re not dead.
Reality: I think we’re dead.
Denial: We’re not dead, he’s just crazy.

Matt looked back at the field, the bright sunlight seemed to take on a darker shade for a moment and then it returned to its buttery hue. He blinked and shook his head and looked back at Charles and slowly shook his head. There was a flurry of movement of Charles’ right shoulder and suddenly there was a woman in her mid forties walking toward them.

She had auburn hair and deep brown eyes set in a kind, heart-shaped face. She glided past them without a word and headed into the field. Matt watched her go; she disappeared over the hill and a few minutes later returned with a small boy in tow. He couldn’t have been any older than seven or eight. He had on a helmet and knee and elbow pads, his skateboard was being held loosely under his arm.

“Mathew. I can prove it to you. If you’ll come with me we’ll get you to your room and get you comfortable.” Charles tugged his arm and that brought back a sharp memory of something pulling him into the cold away from Zack. He shook his head and buried the memory before he could dwell too much on it.

“If this is Limbo or whatever what’s he doing here?” Matt asked skeptically. Charles looked at him sadly, “Children are not immortal Mathew. He landed the wrong way trying to do a trick; snapped his neck.”

The field light dimmed again and Matt slowly let Charles pull him into the city.

“There are a few rules here, mostly concerning the forest. We ask that you refrain from entering the woods for it’s easy to get lost. Also, there is a river, you cannot cross that river.”

“Why not?” Matt asked looking at the massive buildings.

“We call it the River Styx, just like the living. It is the river that divides life from death. You crossed that river, though I must say you didn’t go willingly. You were the first soul in almost seven hundred years we’ve had to drag across, which is probably why you don’t remember.” Charles chatted animatedly as he walked; he led Matt several blocks into the city and then dragged him into a very fancy looking hotel. They went over to the check-in desk and the clerk smiled brightly at them, “Hello, whom do we have?” he looked at Matt and then at Charles.

“Mathew Sanders of Orange County, California.” Charles said politely. The clerk nodded and started typing away on his keyboard.

“Mr. Sanders you’ll be in room 1612.” He said after a moment. He pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Charles; Matt watched the exchange in a distant way.

Denial: There’s no way…
Reality: There is a way and we are dead.
Denial: So why are we staying at a hotel if we’re dead?
Reality: I don’t know I’ve never died before!

Charles thanked the clerk and then led them over to the elevators. The ride up wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought it would be, Charles’ presence was very relaxed and it kept him from feeling awkward.

“So…how big is the river?” Matt asked trying to end the silence but also trying to remember if he had heard the river while he was in the field.

“That all depends on how close to death you are. For you the river will be a raging body of water, absolutely uncross able. For someone teetering between life and death it will be no more than a trickling stream, easy to cross, but once they are on our side it will grow. The rate of the river’s growth depends on how close they are to death. Some people cross back over easily while others have a bit of trouble, but no matter their situation if they stay over here long enough they will not be able to cross back. Ah, here’s our floor.” The doors opened and Charles led him unhesitatingly to his room.

“These will be your quarters for the time being.” Charles said waving him into the room. Gingerly Matt stepped in and looked around; he’d stayed in a lot of hotels over the last few years but none as snazzy as this.

It had to be some kind of suite. The room was totally open, there was only one door and he assumed that lead to the bedroom/bathroom. The floors were hard wood and the walls weren’t covered in stucco or hideous wallpaper they were instead painted a very light blue. The room he was in had a large plasma screen TV with surround sound speakers hooked up and a plush black leather sofa and chair. The left hand wall was a solid pane of glass that looked out over the beautiful field. He stared at it and then looked questioningly at Charles.

“All rooms have a view of the field, don’t worry, no one can see into your room.” He answered smiling. Matt nodded hesitantly and continued looking around. Hesitantly he walked up the three stairs that led to the kitchen and again looked at Charles, “If I am dead…why do I need to eat?”

“Some people find comfort in making and eating food. That impulse carries over even in death, you can call it ‘soul’ food if you’d like.” He said chuckling at his joke.

Denial: Reality I’ll never make fun of your bad jokes again.
Reality: I’m Ron White compared to this clown.
Denial: Don’t push it.

The appliances were shiny and sleek; since he rarely cooked at home he doubted he would be in this particular area much so he only did a quick once over before he went to see what Charles was doing with the TV.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked curiously as the gentleman fiddled with the controls on the remote.

“Finding your station, it should be right around—Aha! Found it.” He said smiling, “I’ll let you sort through things; if you need me just holler.” He handed the remote to him and was out the door before Matt could question him.

Reality: Huh?
Denial: He’s crazy we need to get out of here.

“Matty come back, come back.”

“Zack!” he turned in a circle searching for his small lover. He could hear his pained cries but he couldn’t find him, “Zack!” the small guitarist didn’t answer only continued to cry.

Reality: The TV it’s coming from the TV!
Denial: What? Why is Zack on TV?

He looked at the screen and the remote clattered to the floor. Zack was curled in Brian’s lap crying, Brian was talking softly to him but nothing appeased him. His anger roared to life; he didn’t know why Zack was crying but if Brian had anything to do with it he was going to rip his spine out.

“Brian hasn’t done anything.” Charles said somberly. Matt whipped around and glared at him, “Where is he?” he growled.

“Earth. You’ve been dead for thirty-six hours. I must say I’ve never seen someone react this way before, he’s been mostly catatonic since you died.”

Reality: Okay, he’s crazy.
Denial: And a stalker.

He looked back at the TV and shook his head, “I’m not dead. Where the fuck is he?”

Charles sighed and walked over and picked the remote up off the floor, “Time passes differently here, basically what you’re watching right now is a recording. If we skip up to their present day…” he hit a button and the picture fuzzed for a moment before he saw Zack again.

He was at Matt’s house rummaging around in the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle that Matt immediately recognized; his pain pills. He walked up to the TV, to close to be good for his eyes, and watched Zack intently. He went downstairs and skipped the bottom two steps; the wall was covered with blood.

Reality: Ewwww!
Denial: That is not ours…

Zack went to the kitchen and pulled out an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. Matt felt a thrill of fear sneak through him when Zack popped the seal.

“Zacky? What’re you doin’? Zacky?” He pressed his fingers against the screen trying to get his attention but the guitarist ignored him and dumped a pile of the pills into his hand.

“Zacky! Stop it!” he looked around helplessly; there had to be something to get his attention. He looked to ask Charles but he was gone again, panic seized him when Zack tossed the pills into his mouth and chased them down with a long drink from the whiskey bottle. He poured more pills into his hand and repeated the process.

Reality: Need to stop him, we need to stop him!
Denial: What the hell are we going to do?!

He swallowed the last three pills and then sat down in front of the cabinets and drank the whiskey. Matt watched powerlessly as a light sheen of sweat broke out on Zack’s forehead and his body started to twitch uncontrollably. His eyes began to dim and he lay down on the floor holding the pill bottle close to his chest. His breathing shuddered and he curled up and gave into death without a fight.

Reality: The river! Go to the fucking river!
Denial: How do you know we can leave the room?

Matt turned and ran he yanked the door open and ran out into the street.

Reality: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. What the hell?
Denial: Weren’t we on the sixteenth floor?

He shook off the weird transition and ran helter-skelter toward the field. He realized after he ran up the hill that he had no idea where the damn river was. Something tugged him toward two giant maples so he gave in to his intuition and headed that way.

He saw Zack at the edge of the river, thankfully on the other side, he was looking behind him at a worn path he’d probably come down. Matt stood in indecision for a moment, he didn’t want to call him because he would cross the stream, but he wanted to touch him so badly it almost hurt. Zack made up his mind for him when he turned back around and practically flew into his arms and kissed him.

He whispered his name over and over again as he pressed small kisses to Zack’s pale neck. He held him close; his small warm body was all he could ever ask for. He kissed him again.

Reality: I hate to break this up but he needs to get back on the other side.
Sex Drive: Sex first and then he can go!
Denial: No he needs to go.

“You shouldn’t be here angel.” He whispered Zack had to go back before he was stuck here.

“You don’t want me?” Zack’s soft, pained words tore at him. He kissed his neck and held him as close as he could, “No, no, not that baby. You shouldn’t be here. Not yet.” He was killing himself by pushing Zack away he knew he was, but Zack was too precious to Jimmy, Johnny, and Brian for him to keep selfishly to himself.

“Why not, where is here?” Zack’s green eyes started to tear and there was a deep hurt hidden in those depths.

“It’s not your time angel, you need to go back.” He knew he couldn’t explain this, Zack needed to cross back over. He tightened his grip on him and looked over his shoulder to see how much time he had left to get Zack back across. He felt his stomach drop when he saw how much wider the small stream had gotten and how much faster the water was moving. Zack turned a little and looked too, “What happened? It wasn’t that big before?” he looked back at him confused.

Reality: God he needs to go.
Denial: It’ll kill us if he goes.
Reality: We’re already dead.
Denial: No, let him stay it won’t hurt if he stays.
Reality: Do you know what that will do to Johnny? How about Jimmy and Brian? They can’t lose both of us.

“You need to go back, now, before it’s too late” he relinquished his hold on him and pushed him toward the water. Zack reached out and grabbed his arm, “I’m not leaving without you.” He whispered. Matt gently brushed the hair out of his face as agony tore at his heart, “I can’t Zack. I can’t cross the water.”

“Then I’m not going.” He tightened his hold on his arm and the temptation to let him stay was almost overwhelming.

Reality: You’ll have him for the rest of time. Let the others have him now.
Denial: How do we know he won’t find someone else? He could forget all about us in a couple years.
Reality: He won’t. We’ll wait for him. One day we’ll hold him again. Now let him go.

He thought of the strange TV in his room and he knew he would be able to stay close to Zack, he could wait until Zack was supposed to be with him, “I love you Zack. I’m always watching you and I’ll always be with you.” He pressed his lips against his one last time and Zack wrapped his arms around his neck holding him closer.

You’re sure?

Charles’ voice whispered through the trees and he silently answered him. Something started to pull Zack away; the guitarist made a small sound and held onto him tighter. Gently he pulled his arms off his neck and pushed him toward Charles. Zack looked at him in panic, “Matty? Matt? Don’t, please don’t. Don’t do this to me, not again. Come with me, don’t leave me alone again!”

Reality: It’ll be okay, he’ll be okay.
Denial: Bring him back! We can’t leave him like that, not again!
Reality: Brian will take care of him. They all will.

Zack grabbed his arm and pressed himself close to him again; agony erupted in him as he had to push Zack away again.

“Don’t, don’t do this to me Matty don’t. Let me stay with you, I wanna stay with you!” the terror and pain in his cries echoed Matt’s own agony as Zack swore and screamed at Charles.

“I love you Zack. I love you.” It hurt, everything hurt. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of him. Zack reached out toward him pleadingly and Matt reached out and let their fingers brush for a brief moment. There was a spark of warmth that dulled the pain as Zack entered the living again but it was too soon gone and the pain returned worse than before. He screamed as sharp pains cascaded through his chest and fell to the ground. His vision swam and darkened but the pain didn’t leave, his body jerked uncontrollably and he fought his way into the dark oblivion of sleep.

He woke up in agony. The pain he’d felt at the river was nothing compared to this. He screamed and crossed his arms over his chest and curled into a ball. Someone was trying to tear his organs out; his heart seemed to be the first one they were going after. He screamed again and thrashed on the bed.

Reality: Okay time to go back to sleep.
Denial: I don’t think we’ll be getting there anytime soon…

“We need to do something, this is going to destroy his soul!” he faintly heard Charles’ voice through the loud roar in his ears. Someone turned him onto his back which doubled the pain for a second and then it lessoned. It didn’t disappear but it became tolerable. He whimpered and shook; someone had their hand resting gently on his chest, but they weren’t trying to turn him inside out so he didn’t really care.

“There’s been no planning! We can’t do it!” there was a gruffer angrier voice in the room. Matt tried to listen to their conversation but the pain was coming back again, a sharp pang of agony had him screaming again and a light female voice interrupted Charles and the other man, “His soul is not going to take this much longer, we just need to do it and scramble from there.”

He passed out again wishing for Zack’s warm hands to take the pain away.

Zack’s POV

He’d been back from the hospital for almost two days and he was still surprised no one had blown up on him. He stepped lightly though still unsure of why that was. He was sitting in his room pouring over Matt’s journals and looking through the dozens and dozens of pictures Matt had of him. He closed the journal he’d been looking through and looked at the clock it was almost two am. He’d been reading for almost four hours, a pang of loneliness hit him and he got off the bed and left to go find Synyster. The guitarist was a night owl and would probably still be up.

Brian was sitting on the couch with his head back and eyes closed, he looked like he was asleep and Zack started to back track to find Jimmy or Johnny when he rolled his head forward and looked at the dark TV.

“Brian?” he whispered hesitantly. The guitarist looked over at him, “What is it Zacky?”

He bit his lip suddenly unsure of himself or what Brian would do. Brian looked over him carefully making sure he wasn’t hurt and Zack made up his mind, “Will you hold me?”

Brian nodded and Zack crept over to him and curled against his side. He didn’t have Matt’s protective aura but it was enough to lesson the loneliness. Calloused fingers gently stroked his arm. He whimpered uncomfortably as the pain in his chest flared up again and he pressed closer to Brian.

He hadn’t told anyone about the pain, it was a dull throbbing ache coming from his chest and every now and then it would flare for a moment into complete agony. It had woken him up the night he was in the hospital. Brian tightened his grip on him and pressed a kiss to his head, “I love you Zacky.” He murmured. Zack nuzzled his chest, “Love you too.” The pain settled back to its usual level and he started to fall asleep when Jimmy’s stereo blared to life.

Both he and Synyster jumped nearly a foot off the couch. The dial was between stations, all they were getting was fuzz with the occasional word or phrase from a song or news anchor.

“Shit where’s the remote?” Synyster started looking for the control before Jimmy and Johnny woke up.

“It’s not on…” Zack said looking over at him. Brian gave him a weird look and he merely pointed the faceplate. Brian walked over and tapped it but it stayed dark.

“What the hell?”

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Jimmy yelled over the noise. He and Johnny were standing in the doorway glaring at them.

“It’s not on.” They said at the same time pointing to the faceplate. Zack reached over and turned the volume knob; the volume stayed the same. Jimmy blinked and walked over, his bad mood forgotten.

“What the hell?” he turned the station dial and tried the volume again. The stereo stayed loud and on the same station. Without warning the static cleared and a soft guitar started to play.

Matt’s POV

It still hurt, it felt like his organs were on fire, he was too hoarse to scream so he was reduced to pained sounds that were more animal than human.

“Alright Mathew, we’ve opened a channel for you. This should lesson the pain so we can get the rest of this mess straightened out.” Charles’ kind voice was distant; someone lifted him and the pain flared. Violent spasms racked his body and he tried to claw his way back into unconsciousness.

“Mathew do you want to see Zack? You need to stay awake if you do.”

He opened his eyes and looked at Charles; he wanted Zack more than anything. Charles nodded, “Though so. Now, this is going to help the pain, but it isn’t going to last long. I’ll be back to fetch you when the channel extinguishes.” And with that he gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder and quickly walked away.

Reality: Zacky…want Zacky…
Denial: See we’re not dead. You can’t feel pain when you’re dead. He’s a crazy liar…
Curiosity: Channel? What’s a channel?

He reached out for Zack and suddenly the pain was gone, his body relaxed and he could feel how close Zack was.

“Your channel is open to a stereo so you’ll only be able to access songs that are playing. Pick something nice and short, this line isn’t very stable so it won’t stay open long. To find a song, think with your heart.” The lilting female voice was back but he didn’t care about that he wanted Zack. He let himself go; he wanted Zack, wanted to hold him and tell him again how beautiful he was. A song drifted to him and he sent it to his lover and fiancé.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
And all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I’m dreamin’ of your face

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin’
As the people leave their way to say hello
I’ve heard this life is over rated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight boy, there’s only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight boy, there’s only you and me

He felt Zack reach out toward him but he was slippery and he couldn’t hold on and then he was gone again. He sat up, the pain was gone, the woman with the heart-shaped face was sitting next to him, “Alright, we need to move.” She said tugging him all the way up.

“What the hell was that?” He was in the living room area, the TV was off and he itched to turn it back on again to see Zack but the woman grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out the door. They stepped out into the field where Charles was waiting. He nodded at the woman and she offered him a small smile before she disappeared.

“Come now, we haven’t got much time, and you’ve got a ways to go.” Charles said striding toward the trees.

“What the hell is going on? I thought I wasn’t supposed to go into the trees?” Matt said jogging to catch up with him

“You’re an exception. Special circumstances require the occasional rule break.” He said winking at him.

“What’s going on?” Matt asked again. Charles shook his head, “I’ll have to explain that later, right now we need to get you to the trail, the effects of the channeling will start to wear off soon and you’ll be in pain again.”

Matt felt his stomach churn when he thought of the horrendous pain and he walked faster to keep up with Charles.

“Alright, I’m going to take you to a trail, you need to follow this trail to its end do you understand?” he asked, his grey eyes were intense and Matt only nodded, “Good, at the end of this trail there is a bridge. Cross that bridge, no matter what you must cross that bridge. It looks a little rickety but I assure it’s as solid and the Golden Gate.” He came to an abrupt stop and Matt saw a faint path through the gloom of the trees.

“Nothing in there can hurt you, but stay on the trail; if you get lost we’ll never find you. Now go, I shall speak to you later.” He pushed him gently down the trail and Matt took off without hesitation. He had to find the bridge and cross it before the pain came back.

Zack’s POV

He still couldn’t explain the radio thing, he knew it had been Matt, he’d somehow felt him. The other’s tried to pass it off as interference, but they were yet to find anything to explain the lyric change from ‘tonight girl’ to ‘tonight boy’. The dull throbbing in his chest had actually stopped for a couple hours afterwards, but it was back now with a bloody vengeance.

He threw an arm over his eyes and pressed against his chest trying to alleviate some of his suffering but nothing was working. It seemed to be getting worse as the days wore on. He was starting to worry that he might be having a heart attack. He sighed and brushed his troubled thoughts aside and picked up another one of Matt’s journals and started to read.

Matt’s POV

The gloom of the woods was soon dissolved in a thick foggy swamp; he began to worry that he might lose the trail and wander around the woods for the rest of time but the trail stayed clearly marked and he never deviated from the center. He could hear creatures flying over head and occasionally a splash of something crawling into the water but he ignored the sounds as best he could.

Reality: Find the bridge.
Paranoia: Something is going to eat us
Denial: No, Charles said nothing would hurt us. Just find that damn bridge.

He tripped over something and landed painfully on a flight of stairs. He cursed the root that had caught his foot and looked up. He was at the bridge.

Reality: Found it!
Denial: It would have been nice if you had found that root too Sherlock.
Reality: Get across that stupid bridge before we’re completely incapacitated by pain

Charles hadn’t been kidding when he said it looked a ‘little rickety’. The thing was in desperate need of an overhaul. The once white boards were chipped and faded to a dull grey and most of it was covered with slippery, foul smelling algae.

Reality: Well isn’t this quaint.
Denial: Ew.

He tried not to think about what he had fallen in and carefully made his way up the slick steps and began navigating the precarious wooden planks.

Reality: Are we there yet?
Denial: I’m boooooooored
Reality: This scenery sucks.
Denial: I’m hungry
Reality: Do you think there’s some creepy monster below us?

It felt like he’d been walking for ages, his chest was starting to pain again and he was moving more recklessly as the pain began to mount faster. A sudden sharp jolt of agony sent him to his knees. He gasped and tried to stand but the pain was back, another stab of pain had him curled on his side holding back a scream.

Reality: Get to the end of the bridge!
Denial: We don’t know where the end it, we could have three more miles of three more feet!
Reality: The only way to find out is to move, now go!

He crawled a few more painful feet before he collapsed in pain. He curled on his side and whimpered.

Reality: Come on dammit! Think of Zack! We need to do whatever this stupid shit is so we can go back and wait for him
Denial: Zack has at least another fifty-five years. Do you honestly think he’s going to stay true to us?
Reality: Even if he doesn’t, we’ll still get to hold him again. Or would you rather stay here for the rest of eternity curled on this rank bridge crying in pain?

He got up and crawled a little further until another jab of pain sucker punched him in the stomach. He collapsed again and wanted to quit.

Reality: Think of Zack dammit! You swore you’d never hurt him or leave him and here you are stuck in the fucking afterlife! Not only did you leave him but do you remember that little episode at the river? Get your ass up, you will not hurt him again!
Denial: I’ll agree with that
Sex Drive: Surely when he gets here we can screw one more time, come on, think of that!

He coughed and dragged himself closer to the end; it felt like people were kicking him all over. Everything hurt; his skin felt like it was starting to burn, his ribs felt broken and shattered, his head was throbbing, and the pain in his chest and stomach was enough to make him dizzy and sick.

He reached his arm forward again and his fingers brushed air before they curled around the top step of the other side. He pulled himself to the edge and then tumbled down the stairs and came to a soggy halt in the reeking mud.

Reality: ‘Kay, we’re at the end. Now we can go to sleep.
Paranoia: Somethin’s gonna eat us…
Denial: No it’s not…

He sat up, the pain was still there, but it was thankfully not as sharp as it had been. He scrambled to his feet and looked around; the swamp was gone. He was in his home.

Reality: Awww…do we have to haunt something?
Denial: I hope not

A flash of agony had him on the ground again and the need to find Zack became almost unbearable. If he was going to be here on earth then he was going to at least see his angel one more time. He looked down and sighed, he was totally naked.

Reality: Clothes…
Denial: It’s dark
Reality: We need to cover up with something. We’re not going to explain this to the police.

He went up stairs hoping someone had over looked a pair of jeans or pajama bottoms. No luck. The closets were totally empty and his furniture was gone.

Reality: Well fuck.
Denial: You know Zack has some of our clothes at his place.
Reality: Once again bringing up the problem of walking around the streets of a suburban neighborhood naked.
Denial: Tough shit, there’s nothing here, now unless you wanna find an oak leaf or something to cover up with we need to go to Zack’s.
Reality: Fine, but we’re getting there as fast as we can and then we’re going to Jimmy’s.

He went out the back door and carefully looked around. All his neighbor’s houses were dark. He took a deep breath and started the seven block trek to Zack’s house.

With only a few close calls he made it to Zack’s and thankfully grabbed the spare key and hurried inside.

Reality: Never. Again.
Denial: That never happened.
Reality: Agreed.

He went up to Zack’s room and went through his closet until he found, not only some pants, but also boxers and a couple of his favorite shirts.

Reality: The little sneak has been stealing our wardrobe.
Denial: Damn good thing too, or else we would be seriously SOL

Once he was decent he left Zack’s house, making sure it was locked up, and headed toward Jimmy’s.

Zack’s POV

The pain in his chest woke him and he sat up stifling a sound of pain that probably would have had Brian by his side in seconds. It hurt to breathe and his heart felt like it was being burned.

Reality: My God we are having a heart attack
Denial: We are not having a heart attack

He bit his lip as another wave of pain hit him and crawled out of bed. It was only ten o’ clock; the others were still up, probably watching TV. The sudden urge to go outside hit him. He had to go outside, out the front door, he had to go out. He thought about changing or putting on shoes but he shook his head and left his room in only a pair of pajama bottoms; he had to get outside.

He skipped the bottom step and the ‘thud’ he made, made the three in the living room look at him, “Zack? Are you okay?” Brian got off the couch and came over to him.

“Outside.” He whispered. Jimmy and Johnny came over to see what was wrong. Zack pressed a fist to his chest trying to force back the sudden bout of pain but it wasn’t working.

“Zacky what’s wrong?” Jimmy asked quietly trying to pull his hand away. He shook his head, “Outside.” He said again; someone knocked on the door and the pain in his chest increased ten fold, he whimpered and started walking toward the door.

Brian’s POV

Something was very wrong with him. He wasn’t acting like Zack, his eyes were glazed and a little confused and whether he knew it or not he flinched whenever anyone touched him. He took off toward the door when someone knocked and he grabbed him before he could get to the door open. He squeaked and struggled against him trying to reach the door. The knock came again. He pulled him away from the door and he screamed.

The sound was so pained he almost let go of him but his legs gave out and he had to keep his grip tight so the guitarist wouldn’t go crashing to the floor. His body shook and he screamed again. Brian pulled him further from the door and his scream jumped to a piercing shriek of agony.

“Jesus Brian stop!” Jimmy yelled clapping his hands over his ears. Zack quieted a little when they stopped moving but he was still struggling to get to the door.

“His eyes are bleeding.” Johnny whispered faintly.

“Christ his ears are bleeding too.” Jimmy said. Brian could feel Zack’s warm blood dripping on his hands and arms. He made a choking sound and reached for the door again. There was another knock.

“Let him go Syn.” Jimmy whispered. Brian shot him an incredulous look.

“The further from the door he gets the worse it is; just let him answer the door, he’s bleeding every where.”

Brian let go of him and he stumbled toward the door, he fumbled with the lock for a second before he collapsed against the door.

“Fuck.” Jimmy ran over to him and unlocked the door, he tried to pull him out of the way and Zack started screaming again.

“Zack the door opens in, if you want to go out you have to move.” He whispered, trying to soothe the guitarist.

The door opened and Zack lurched to his feet and fell into the arms of the shadowy figure standing there. Brian growled and watched Zack; all signs of stress left his body, he was totally relaxed.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jimmy growled. The figure carefully picked Zack up and stepped into the hall light.

Brian felt a little lightheaded when he saw Matt holding Zack in his arms.

Reality: There’s something in the water
Denial: That’s not possible.

His mind refused to process what he was seeing, he felt himself sway a little and then he sank to the ground in a faint.

Three Doors Down- Here Without You

A/N: =D
Thanks for your reviews and have a happy Fourth!
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