Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Until You Lose Your Breath II	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Die threw his jacket on the bed and sat heavily on a chair, a bottle of beer already in his hands. He sighted and took a cigarette. He didn’t care if he smoked inside his living room. He didn’t care if the garbage in the kitchen started to smell and needed to be thrown away as soon as possible. He didn’t care that he only had a few cans of beer and a cabbage in his fridge for already four days. He didn’t care that almost all his clothes needed to be washed or he’ll have to start wearing stinky ones again.
He knew he was a mess but he just didn’t care.
They had work tomorrow again. Why wouldn’t they have? Nobody cared that it was Saturday tomorrow. They still had to work because the tour was already here. Fuck the tour! It was just a waste of time!
Die drank all the beer and went to take the rest of the cans from the fridge. When he finished those he looked all over his kitchen for more alcohol, but he was out.
“Time to go shopping” Die said to himself and just grabbed a wallet and his car keys and went out.
But he didn’t even reach the shop. He stopped at a bar to have a drink and stayed there. Or at least he thought so. He got so wasted that he could barely comprehend that he went out to some unknown direction.
***
Somebody was knocking and knocking on the door. Or rather, hitting it at random places. Kyo stirred in bed and finally managed to open one eye. It was still very dark. He looked at the clock.
“Damn it… it’s not even two in the morning…” He looked at Kaoru, who was also waking up. The knocking didn’t weaken or go away.
“What the hell is going on?” Kaoru asked tiredly. He sighted and got out of bed. “I hope it’s nothing serious” he added, putting on his jeans and heading to the door. Kyo followed him, not bothering to put on anything more, except his boxers.
They went to the hall and Kaoru switched on the light. Then he opened the door. Kyo jumped back as somebody stumbled over the threshold and fell on top of Kaoru. Red hair and familiar outfit was all Kyo needed to see. It was Die.
“What the hell, Die?” Kaoru shouted angrily and managed to hold Die in place, so that he didn’t fall and broke something. “Are you drunk?”
Die didn’t say anything. He struggled to maintain his composer, then finally, holding Kaoru’s shoulder, he straightened himself, and looked somewhere in the distance with red, puffy, unfocused eyes.
“I think he’s totally drunk, Kao” Kyo stated the obvious. “Die! Daisuke!” he tried to gain the guitarists attention, but didn’t succeed. Die was still staring in the distance and Kyo sighted. Kaoru closed the door and tried to take Die’s shoes off, but as he leaned to do that, Die started walking towards their living room.
“Shin-chan?” Die called, his voice hoarse and weak.
“Shinya’s not here” Kyo said, but it seemed that Die didn’t hear him. He proceeded towards the living room, staggering and barely managing to stand on his own. Kyo and Kaoru could just follow.
As Die finally found himself in the living room, he stumbled near the table and fell down. Kyo immediately ran to him to see, if the drunken guitarist didn’t hurt himself. Kaoru turned on the lights and crossed his arms on his chest.
“And when we have such a responsible time just before the tour and have work tomorrow, he shows up here in the middle of the night like a living dead.”
“You know he can’t hear you, Kao, so stop bitching. Better do something.”
Kaoru sighed and went up to Kyo and Die. He tried to lift the guitarist, but as soon as he grabbed Die’s arm, Die pushed him away and crawled back.
“Shin-chan… I bought a can for… myvs… mmmmiy… miy…” Die could barely say a comprehensible word.
“Miyu?” Kyo tried to help, but Die didn’t hear him and proceeded muttering something to himself.
“Good doggie… here do… dogoggy… goooooood girl…”
Die tried to stand, but fell immediately and shivered from cold, but still tried to take something from his pocket in the jacket. Kaoru leaned again and tried to lift him, but as soon as he touched him, Die pushed him away again, and turned from them, facing the wall.
“Shin… chan…”
Kyo couldn’t look at this any more. He left the living room and went to the kitchen, already looking for a cigarette.
“Kyo, I need help with Die, come back” Kaoru’s voice followed him, and Kyo turned to look back and saw Kaoru coming after him in the kitchen too.
“Kaoru, I... Fuck! Can’t you see it?! Die’s going mad!”
“He’s not. He’s just horribly drunk”
“It’s horrible…” Kyo spotted his cigarettes near the window and immediately took one, lighting it up at once. “Can’t you see that it’s killing him?”
“I can, Kyo. But what can we do?”
Kyo just shrugged, defeated. “Well at least we can try to put him to bed” he finally said and after taking a few more drags from it, he stubbed the cigarette bracing himself to go back to the living room.
But whatever they did, they didn’t manage to pick Die up and drag him to the bed or at least sofa. Die ended up curling in the corner of their room, still trying to take something from his pocket and calling Miyu or Shinya, or both at once.
“He can’t be on drugs, can he?” Kaoru wondered out loud.
“No, he’s not that stupid!”
“But he acts like… like his brain’s totally fucked up!”
“You know, there’s just one thing we can really do here. We need to call Shinya.”
“But Kyo, it’s the middle of the night.”
“Then do you suggest leaving him here to freeze? Because we won’t drag him to bed in a million years. Maybe Shinya will be able to do something. I hope he will.”
Kaoru nodded thoughtfully. Kyo had a point. They both were trying to lift and drag Die to bed for almost half an hour now in wane. It was about time to call Shinya.
***
Shinya rubbed his eyes and focused on the road again. He was tapping his fingers on the wheel without noticing. He finally had to admit to himself that he was nervous. Kyo called and woke him up with the unexpected request – to come right away to his and Kaoru’s place and to help them calm Die down.
At first Shinya protested, but Kyo just sighted and said the most worrying thing Shinya heard in many, many weeks – Die will hurt himself if he will go on like this.
Like what? Shinya thought, gripping the wheel tighter. Without him? With drinking so much that he would seem to be on drugs? Driving himself mad with thinking that he caused Shinya so much pain with what he did?
What was Kyo implying?
Whatever it was that Kyo really wanted to say, Shinya had to deal with this problem right now. He had to go and make Die go to sleep if he’ll manage. Or even take him home with himself, because Kyo sure didn’t sound too happy about the situation, and it even wasn’t his or Kaoru’s problem at all.
That meant being with Die alone again, after so much time. That meant being close to him, touching him, looking him in the eyes, undressing him and putting him to bed, right beside him. And in the morning…
Shinya closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he was feeling so scared. He didn’t want to deal with this not now, not later, never. He was afraid that when the morning comes, and Die wakes up all sober, he would loose his cool and… and do something stupid like forgive him and make up.
Shinya didn’t want that to happen.
I can’t believe I’m finally admitting that we’re over… That there won’t be me and Die any more. That from now on there’s going to be only me. And there’s going to be only Die.
At that moment Shinya almost cried, but he managed to calm down. He still had to face Kaoru and Kyo. And to make Die listen to him and take him away form their friends’ home. After all Shinya didn’t want his and Die’s problem to be a burden to anybody.
He sighed sadly. That’s it. He admitted it to himself finally. He wasn’t a good person after all. He wasn’t able to forgive. He was not able to forgive the only person he loved so madly in this world.
Shinya stopped his thoughts from going any further. Because if he did, he would surely cry. It was the saddest thing that ever happened to him. Not even the attack and his disfigured face was even close to what he was feeling now. This was far more painful than anything… just anything in the world…
Here, I’m doing it again… I’m thinking about it again… Whatever! It was Die’s fault anyway! I’m not to blame! I wasn’t the one who screwed Miyavi and cheated on his lover AND his close friend!
Shinya angrily hit the radio in his car and turned on some program. He listened to it without hearing though. It was not my fault! It was not! Not my fault!
By the time he arrived, he was so mad, he didn’t know what to do that Kaoru and Kyo wouldn’t see it. Oh, whatever! They can think whatever they want! They woke me up in the middle of the night and made me come all the way here just so that I would take care of a pathetic drunken bastard!
He hit the door in anger, waiting for somebody to open. But he didn’t have to wait, because the door swung open and Kaoru stood there, looking grim.
“Thank God you’re finally here. Come in.”
“So why’s all the commotion, Kaoru? You should have just left him in the living room, he’s not a baby.”
Kaoru looked weirdly at him. “Just hurry, Shinya. And don’t take your shoes off. Come.”
Shinya followed Kaoru and they entered the living-room together. Shinya immediately saw the mess and Die, sitting at the sofa on the floor, holding a dog food can in his hand and muttering something silently. Kyo stood by the window, looking absolutely relieved, finally seeing Shinya. He then came back to Die, leaned down and said as clearly as he could:
“Daisuke, Shinya’s here, look.”
Die seemed not to hear a word that was shouted almost right into his ear. He just lifted his hand and extended it as if giving it to somebody invisible. His hand shook a bit, but he tried to steady it.
“Here girrrrr… girrrl… Myyyy-yuuuu…”
Shinya’s heard clenched painfully, and Shinya didn’t even notice how he appeared by Die’s side. He kneeled right next to him, took the can out of his hand and put it aside. Then he took Die by his shoulders and called his name. As that didn’t help, he then took Die’s head in his hands and made him look right into his own eyes.
“Die, it’s me, Shinya. Look me in the eyes, Daisuke!” he tried to say as clearly as he could.
Die stared at him. Then he suddenly lunged forward and hugged Shinya’s waist.
“Shin-chan…”
Shinya composed himself and looked at Kaoru and Kyo. “Where do I take him?”
“Just try laying him on the sofa, Shinya” Kaoru said. “We’ll cover him with a blanket.”
“Ok.” Shinya lifted Die, and surprisingly, Die obeyed immediately, and let himself be directed by Shinya to the sofa. But as Shinya wanted to make him lie down, Die just clung to him more and didn’t want to let go. They ended up in a strange position on the sofa – Die half lying on it with his arms around Shinya, who was almost on top of Die, looking embarrassed.
“I guess I’ll just have to take him to my apartment after all…” Shinya mused loudly.
“Shinnnn… chaaaan…”
Kaoru nodded and Kyo looked worriedly at him. “We’ll help you take him to the car.”
So after some struggling down the hall to the parking lot, Die was finally in Shinya’s car, safely sat under the seatbelt and still holding Shinya’s sleeve with a death’s grip.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble, guys” Shinya said silently. “It isn’t your problem to deal with. I hope Die will be sane enough tomorrow to apologize.”
“Shinya,” Kyo sighed. “Just take him home and make him go to sleep. Take good care of him.”
“And you both can be late for work tomorrow” Kaoru added.
Shinya looked down at his shoes and was silent for a few moments.
“I’m going to put him to bed and won’t let him freeze on the floor. That’s the best he can expect from me. Well, I have to go, I’m tired, and it’s the middle of the night after all. Bye!”
Shinya closed his car window and drove away.
“Let’s go, Kyo.” Kaoru sighted. Kyo leaned closer to Kaoru and hugged his waist with one hand. He kissed Kaoru on the cheek lightly and sighted.
“I’m so tired, Kao…”
“Mmm… let’s go back to bed, Kyo-kun.”
***
After a lot of struggle Die was finally on Shinya’s bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. Shinya sighed tiredly and covered the guitarist with a blanket. Die was almost sleeping now, but he still had a grip on Shinya’s sleeve. Shinya sat on the edge of the bed thinking he’ll just wait a few minutes until Die was completely out.
And he was right. It took just a few more minutes and Die’s grip loosened, until his hand fell next to his leg and the sound of deep, slow breathing filled the living room.
Shinya stood up. He neatly folded Die’s clothes and put them on the chair, then undressed himself and put out the lights. He hesitated a moment of where should he sleep, but finally lay next to Die on the bed. It was his bed after all, and he was so tired. He didn’t want to go and sleep on an uncomfortable couch.
Shinya sighed and wrapped himself in the blanket. Then closed his eyes and tried to sleep. But as he relaxed, all he could think of was Die’s calm breathing just right next to him. He could just stretch his hand a bit and feel Die’s warm skin. The longer he tried not to think about it, the harder it was. He opened his eyes and growled in frustration.
The fucker! Now I even won’t be able to sleep!
Shinya turned his head to look at Die. After some time his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could see the sharp lines of Die’s face. His messy hair fell on his face. His big cute nose touched the pillow, his lips were parted a bit. Die had one of his hands near his face, almost touching his cheek with his big, clumsy fingers. It was a pity Die didn’t smile that gorgeous smile of his while he was asleep. He never could resist that warm, heavenly sight. That wonderful, sincere, sunny sight.
Shinya stretched his hand a bit and touched Die’s palm with his fingers. Die’s hand was still a bit cold. Shinya took Die’s hand in his and started rubbing slightly to warm him up a bit. It seemed that it helped. His hand felt warmer after some time.
Shinya smiled to himself and brushed Die’s hair from his face.
I don’t even smell that horrible stench from his mouth any more. I must not forget to take a shower tomorrow morning.
Die suddenly moved and Shinya withdrew his hand in a second. But Die just shifted a bit and slept.
Shinya blinked and rubbed his eyes with his hand. Then he moved closer, so that his face was directly in front of Die’s face, just a few centimeters apart.
“Do you know how much I want you?” Shinya whispered. “Can you even imagine what are you doing to me? Even right now? Can you?”
Shinya fell silent as if waiting for an answer. Then he leaned even closer and touched Die’s lips with his own so lightly. Shinya shuddered at the contact, feeling goose bumps all over his body. A tear ran down his cheek and fell on the pillow.
Shinya withdrew, looked sadly Die in the face for a moment, then turned his back to Die and closed his eyes.
Oyasumi…
***
It was so horrible that even opening one eye caused unbearable headache. And the room was so bright it was horrible. He managed to pull the blanket over his head, ignoring the aching muscles in his hands.
What has he done? He couldn’t remember. He really didn’t want to get so drunk, but when he started, he just couldn’t stop. All the memories about him and Shinya were coming back and the more he drank, the more helpless and lonely he felt. And for Die it was always easier to pity himself, than try and pretend to be strong all on his own.
Die groaned. He wanted a glass of water so badly and maybe a painkiller, but that meant he had to get up.
Suddenly he heard footsteps, somebody came to his bed.
“I brought you some water.” Then the person left the room.
Die thought he was hearing things. It sounded like Shinya. Did he… Oh fuck! Did I go to his place yesterday?
Die sat up and after a moment of a head rush, he blinked and looked around. It was Shinya’s bedroom.
Die took a glass of water with a trembling hand and greedily drank everything. Then he managed to get out from the bed and dress. His headache was horrible, but Die forgot all about it. He was so nervous. His hands were shaking badly, but this was partly caused by the hangover.
When there was nothing left to do in the room, Die went to the kitchen where he assumed Shinya was. He found Shinya sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands. Hearing Die enter the room, Shinya looked at him for a moment and turned his eyes away again.
Die shifted uncomfortably where he stood. Then gathered all his courage and spoke.
“Shinya… did I… did I do something stupid yesterday?”
Shinya immediately looked up at him again and Die flinched.
“You don’t remember anything?”
Die shook his head, not daring to speak any more.
“No, Die, I don’t think you did something stupid” Shinya sighed. “Just remember to apologize Kyo and Kaoru when you see them. You went to their place at night and made a scene. They had to call me because you were totally oblivious to your surroundings and they couldn’t make you go to sleep.”
Die blushed embarrassed.
“Well, I’ll take you home now, as you’re already conscious. Kaoru said we can be late for work a bit, so you have time to go change clothes and eat” Shinya stood up. Die nodded and followed him to the hall. They proceeded silently to Shinya’s car and all the way to Die’s place. Die was thinking hard of what should he do. It was so long since he was with Shinya alone so close. But he didn’t even dear to look at Shinya. He already gave up. He was too tired, too desperate, too lonely to fight for their happiness. He couldn’t go on like this any more. And he wouldn’t survive another round of arguing with Shinya, of pleading and getting ‘no’ for an answer.
Die gripped the seatbelt tighter. He just wanted to get home and… And what? Be alone? Die sighted again wishing they would arrive quicker. It was too much to sit side by side like this again and know that they were apart.
“We’re here” Shinya’s voice startled him and Die looked around. He didn’t even notice how they stopped.
“Are you all right, Die?”
Die nodded and muttered a silent ‘thanks’ before getting out of the car. But Shinya’s voice stopped him.
“Die, wait. I want to ask you something.”
Die looked at Shinya warily, waiting for him to speak further. Could it be that…
“If it was somebody else, but not Miyavi… if it was somebody that none of us knew… Would you have told me then of what happened?”
Of course it couldn’t. I’m really just that stupid.
Die looked down at his hands, unable to meet Shinya’s eyes.
“No. I would have never told you that if it wasn’t Miyavi. Never.”
As Shinya didn’t say anything, Die finally looked up at him, but Shinya was gazing directly through the window in front of him. Die just got out of the car. As soon as he shut the door, Shinya drove away.
Die looked after him until he was gone and only then dragged himself to his apartment.
TBC
I'm sorry, I was too lazy to mark the direct language this time >_< But it's clear anyway :P
Comments would be great to get!!! ^^
- 16
- 17
- 18
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Until You Lose Your Breath II