Lust In Love | By : Majer Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Linkin Park Views: 1369 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Linkin Park. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“What!!?? Are you serious, Mike?” Brad’s eyes were locked with Mike’s as the surprise in his voice obviously rushed over Mike like waves.
“Yeah.” The word came out as if Mike choked on it. He nodded and looked away from his best friend.
“Shit, Mike.” Brad went over to the couch where Mike was sat and placed a hand securely on his shoulder. “This… I mean… you never… I thought… Maybe… Shit, Mike.”
“Tell me about it…” Mike let his head fall into his hands and ran them over his hair.
“Are you planning on telling Rob about this?” Brad looked at Mike, searching for something that would show him that what he had been told wasn’t true. Anything. Brad sighed when he saw the confusion in Mike as his head shook a couple of times. “Or haven’t you thought about that just yet?”
“You have no idea…” Mike’s words were muffled into his hands. “It’s about all I can think about.”
“Soat aat are you going to do?!” Brad’s hand fell from Mike’s shoulder to his back and sighed again.
“I don’t know.” Mike looked back up at Brad. “Chester thinks that I ld.”ld.”
“Hm…” Brad rubbed his chin for a few seconds. “I’m not sure if I think that would be the best idea. Considering that he’s back with Gemma now… and … well, you will have no guarantee when it comes to how he will react. This isn’t just any news, Mike.”
“I know. That’s what I’m afraid of. The look in his eyes.” Mike leaned back into the back of the couch and felt the comfortable and soft fabric swallow him whole.
“You’ll just have to … “ Brad looked away for a second and back at Mike. “… try and make him understand.”
“Yeah.” Mike looked into Brad's eyes and had a puzzled look on his face. “How can you be so calm about this?”
“I don’t think that it really hit me yet. I’m gonna need some time to consume all this before I can tell you how I feel about it. But … are you… I mean, are you… you know?”
“No.” Mike shook his head a couple of times and lowered his gaze onto his hands that were placed in his lap. “No. I don’t think so. I mean… what I felt with Gemma wasn’t an act. It wasn’t. I know that for sure. And if you asked me where all this came from, I wouldn’t be able to answer you.”
“I wont ask. Don’t worry.” Brad looked at him with reassurance.
“Thanks, man. I guess… I guess I just need some time.” Mike smoothed his palms up and down his thighs to wipe away the nervous sweat from earlier.
“Time is good.” Brad smiled and padded him on the back. “Time is good. But if you ever need to blow off some steam… you know where I am.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” Mike smiled and excused himself. He went outside and took in a deep breath while feeling his skin become warmer from the sun. ‘There has to be a way for me to live with this without having to tell Rob’ he thought to himself and sat down on the step outside of Brad’s house. ‘There has to be a way’. He sighed and closed his eyes. At least he didn’t have it locked up inside anymore, it felt less lonely.
Mike saw a car drive up the road towards the house and stood up. It was Joe and he could see Phoenix sat next to him. ‘Time for practice’ Mike thought in silence as he waved at his friends. ‘Time for having to face Rob again.’ His smile faded and he walked up to the door, he just hoped that both Chester and Brad would be able to act normally around him. Around the two of t He He opened the door and heard Joe yell behind him.
“Yo, Mike! Wait up!” He ran across the lawn and reached Mike with open arms. Throwing them around him from the back, he laughed. “I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been hiding? Getting cosy with our Gemma?” His cheerful laugh and smile always used to rub off on Mike, but this time the comment was almost too much for Mike to cope with.
“No… haven’t you heard the news?” Mike said without moving a single muscle.
“What?” Joe loosened his embrace and looked at Mike with a serious look in his face.
“Rob and Gemma are back together.” Mike tried to smile, but it only came off as a frown.
“Are you serious? But I thought…” Joe looked at Phoenix who was now stood next to them.
“Think again, Joe.” Mike was still motionless and he wanted to escape the feeling inside when he saw the look in Joe’s eyes.
“Damn.” He turned back to Mike and shook his head. “I had no idea… I mean, I would never have guessed since… yeah, you know.” He looked back at Phoenix who was looking at Mike with a questioning look in his eyes.
“I knew.” He said coldly and looked back and forth between Mike and Joe.
“You did?” Mike showed surprise in his voice. “How? I mean… How?”
“I had a talk with Gemma one night…” Phoenix looked around but avoiding Mike’s eyes cause he didn’t know how to end that sentence without hurting Mike more. Even though a part of him didn’t care after what Mike had done to Gemma and Rob.
“About?” Mike tried to get eye contact, but seeing that Phoenix avoided it made him more nervous.
“It doesn’t really matter now. Does it, Mike?” Phoenix knew that his voice was probably harsher than it should be. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but to feel that Mike had destroyed the good thing between Rob and Gemma.
“I don’t know… you tell me. I wasn’t there.” Mike couldn’t quite figure out why Phoenix was behaving the way he was.
“All you need to know is that the girl loves Rob…. The way it should have stayed from day one.” Phoenix finally looked Mike into his eyes, and when Mike saw the anger, his gaze shot down to the ground.
“Hey… no need to be harsh, man.” Mike still looked away from Phoenix. “I haven’t …”
“You haven’t what, Mike? Done anything? Oh no… nothing at all.” Phoenix rolled his eyes and kept his eyes locked on Mike’s trying to regain eye contact.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mike wastingting angry and looked Phoenix dead in the eye.
“Nothing. I’m just telling the truth.” The two were shooting daggers at each other through their eyes and Joe was feeling slightly confused from the sudden anger between the two friends. Mike took a step forward towards Phoenix and was about to say something when Joe finally decided to cut in.
“Whoa, guys.” He put a hand on each of their chests and looked back and forth between the two.
“What’s all this about?” No one had noticed Rob coming up the drive way and they all looked startled his way. Phoenix looked at Mike and shook his head, and then at Rob.
“Nothing.” He muttered and walked inside. Mike hardly looked at either of them as he turned around and headed inside not far behind Phoenix. Rob looked at Joe who shrugged.
“Mike!!” Rob called out for his friend and wished to talk. He hated to see him upset despite all that had been going on. And he wanted to know what could possibly have made him and Phoenix riled up like that. It wasn’t something that ever happened. Not between those two. He looked at Mike’s back disappearing around the corner as he walked into the living room. He didn’t even look back or make a single movement that showed Rob he had heard him. Rob looked back over at Joe who just waved his hands in the air.
“I don’t know, man. I don’t know.” Joe said this with a careful smile and went inside. Rob stood outside on the bottom step at the front door and questioned the whole situation. As Brad’s head appeared in the doorway, Rob shook off his thoughts and smiled, allialling that he was on his way.
During practice things got more and more intense. Mike kept looking over at Brad and Chester who both acted very distant and they failed in hiding the fact that they held a secret. And especially when it came to how they were acting in front of Rob. They were both acting secretive and sending each other looks every time Rob commented on Mike’s work, or when Mike avoided Rob’s eyes. Mike wanted to run away, cause something told him that Rob would be able to tell. He just knew it. Rob was fairly perceptive when it came to these things. But Mike just couldn’t. He couldn’t tell him what was on his mind. Not yet, not until he was absolutely sure that it was the right thing to do. Brad was right, he had no idea how Rob would take these news. And was he really willing to take the chance of Rob freaking out on him? Mike shook his head and felt himself yanked back into reality as Joe’s voice reached him.
“Mike!” A hand fell on his shoulder. Rob’s hand. He pulled away from the light touch and mumbled to his feet.
“Sorry guys. I’m feeling kinda distracted today.” Mike’s voice was hardly audible and everyone was looking at him like if he was a stranger stood in the familiar room. Mike looked up and met their curious eyes. Except for Rob’s, he couldn’t face him.
“Yeah. It’s rather noticeable. But what’s up, man?” Rob’s words hardly reached him before Mike looked over at Brad and nodded.
“Let’s just keep going. I don’t want us to fall behind just cause I’m losing my damn mind.” Without so much as a look in Rob’s direction, Mike went back to his microphone and adjusted something that didn’t need any adjustment at all. He sighed and looked up again, seeing that everyone was still focused on him. And only him. Mike shook his head and looked down where his feet were screaming at him to walk away. To walk away and avoid the awkward feeling of being the object of everyone’s curiosity. He took a single step forward and felt himself on the verge of screaming. One step swallowed the next as he ran out of the room and further out towards the front door. He heard someone call out his name. But didn’t register who the voice belonged to. It didn’t matter who it was. He didn’t want to face any of them right now.
Reaching the door, Rob saw Mike get into his car. He shook his head and called out for him – again. Still no reaction was shown in Mike’s movements. Rob refused to let him just run out on them like that. He wanted to know what happened. What it was that made him avoid him in every way possible. And Rob also hoped that Mike would be able to tell him why things had been so secretive between he, Brad and Chester. A part of him was thinking that it could be a result of the fact that he was back with Gemma. But then again, it didn’t seem right to Rob that Mike would be this upset just because of that. It wasn’t like he felt true love towards Gemma. Right? Rob shrugged it off as he made his way to the car. Without further warning, he opened the door to the passenger side and sat down in the seat next to Mike. Out of breath and without looking at each other, they sat in complete silence. Finally Rob turned to look at Mike. His eyes were flickering around nervously and he fidgeted slightly in his seat.
“What’s going on, Mike?” Rob looked away from Mike again and smoothed a hand through his hair. “Why don’t you want to look at me? You haven’t looked at me ever since I came this afternoon.” Rob’s gaze went back to Mike who still sat looking in the opposite direction.
“I can’t.” Mike’s voice was flat and without much feeling.
“Why? What’s wrong?” Rob shifted a bit in his seat to get a better look at Mike. “This can’t be about Gemma. Can it?”
“No.” Mike shook his head and placed his hands on the steering wheel, holding on to it like his life depended on it. He wanted to look at Rob and face his thoughts. But he couldn’t. There was no way on earth he was ready for it. And Rob sure as hell would never be ready for it.
“Then what is it?” Rob moved his hand over to Mike’s shoulder and watched him frown.
“Nothing.” Mike whispered out the word and silently wishhat hat Rob would disappear. That he would leave the car and forget about the awkward afternoon. But that wasn’t going to happen.
“Mike! This is stupid.” Rob’s hand left Mike and fell back to the other, which was safely in his lap. “Why are you acting like this? This is not like you…”
“A lot of things aren’t like me these days… “ Mike turned his body towards Rob and looked him dead in the eye. “Why don’t you all just get off my back?!”
“What?!” Rob stared back as if he didn’t know the person sitting next to him. “Come on, man. We are your friends. And we are just concerned about you.”
“Yeah? Maybe you shouldn’t be this concerned.” Mike looked away again, and damned himself for not being more grateful. Why couldn’t he just thank Rob for wanting to be there for him? For being this concerned about him. He couldn’t. Right now it just annoyed him.
“Mike. Be reasonable. If it’s not Gemma… then what is it? What’s making you space out like this?”
“I can’t tell you, Rob. Don’t you get it? Don’t you see it? I can’t tell you.” Mike looked back at Rob and ran his sweaty palms up and down his thighs after letting go of the steering wheel.
“No! I don’t see it. Why don’t you make me see it?” Rob was getting angry and he didn’t know how to handle Mike’s behaviour. He had never seen him like this. And he felt helpless.
“I can’t. Leave me alone, please. Or…” Mike stopped himself and looked away from Rob’s angry yet concerned gaze.
“Or what, Mike? Or wh” Ro” Rob raised his voice not knowing any other way to react anymore.
“Or…” Mike shifted in his seat a couple of times. “Or you’ll regret it.”
“What are you going to do? Huh?!” Rob’s voice was now on full volume, as he no longer knew how to control the frustration. “Are you going to hit me? Cause if that’s what it takes to make you snap out of it… then be my guest.”
“I wouldn’t hit you, Rob.” Mike returned to look at him and this time Rob noticed the despair. The fear. Rob was speechless and as he shrugged his shoulders, he turned away from Mike and looked up the driveway towards the front door.
“Then what?” His voice was back to normal volume again, but it still oozed of frustrated anger.
“I might have to tell you the truth.” Mike looked down and saw how his hands were shaking more and more as it became clear to him. He had to tell him. There was no longer a way around it. He looked up and met Rob’s eyes. Rob were frowning a little and looking amazingly confused.
“What do you mean, Mike? The truth? Don’t you know that I only want the truth?” His voice was shivering as the nervous feeling of what was to come crept up on him.
“I don’t think that you want this truth.” Mike kept looking at Rob trying to figure out if this was the right time or not. ‘I guess there is no such thing as the right time’ Mike thought to himself and sighed. “But I guess… I guess it’s only fair that I tell you…” Mike took in a deep breath and watched as the anticipation filled Rob’s eyes. The look in his eyes turned into a frown and soon tears were showing in the corners of his eyes as the truth filled his mind. Not tears of sadness. Not tears of happiness. Tears of deep and devastating confusion.
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