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More than a feeling	By : Alaine Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I know, another delay, again! Anyway, here is the next chapter. Enjoy!

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As the days pass, a routine starts to set in.

Bam gets up, gets dressed and showers. He goes downstairs, grabs his wallet and keys. He opens the front door and steps out into the cool, fresh morning air. He turns and locks the door, slipping the keys into his pocket. Then he sets out.

First, he just wanders around town, waiting.

Waiting for the evening.

'Cause that's when the bars open.

That's when he's allowed to start drinking.

To forget everything, every concern, every thought about him. Ville.

He drinks and he forgets. He forgets and he drinks.

He talks and laughs with other people, but not really opening up. He keeps his thoughts and feelings to himself, afraid that if he starts rambling and talking to someone, he won’t know how to stop.

Then, when it’s nearly dawn, he staggers back home.

Cursing out loud, when he can’t find his keys, when he misses a step on the stairs and falls back down.

He lets himself fall onto the bed and falls into a deep and dreamless sleep.

The next morning the routine starts again.

He gets up, showers and dresses himself. He grabs his keys and wallet and sets out. He walks around town, not heading anywhere in particular, waiting for the evening to fall. When it does, he goes to the bar, laughs, drinks and forgets about his feelings.

He staggers back home, curses and crashes down onto the bed and falls asleep.

One night everything goes wrong.

He’s drunk way too much. He’s slurring his words, and every time when someone tries to say something, he interrupts them with his shrieking laughter.

“So, to continue what I was saying-“

Bam shrieks with laugher, spraying beer everywhere.

He doesn’t notice the people looking at him, throwing annoyed glares. He doesn’t notice the people calling for the bartender. He doesn’t notice the bartender advancing on him, furious and outraged.

He does notice when the bartender grabs the collar of his neck and drags him out of the bar. The bartender kicks him out.

“Out! And don’t you dare come back! I won’t have this! I won’t have you annoying other people and chase off my other customers. Go home, you’re completely wasted! Idiot…”

The bartender turns around, muttering angrily to himself about drinking habits.

Confused and angry, Bam gets up, rubbing his sore ass. He looks at the bartender and swears.

“What the hell do you mean? I’m not wasted!”

The bartender is already gone, the door is closed.

Bam sighs. He doesn’t go home, but wanders through the city. Everything is dark, the streetlights are out. The moon is the only thing that is illuminating his way. He wanders until it’s dawn, and then goes home.

He walks up to the front door, turns the key and opens the door. The house is in complete silence, still dark.

An empty feeling fills him. Slowly, he walks into the hallway and throws the door shut. He heads upstairs and walks into the bathroom. He looks into the mirror.

Bloodshot eyes look back at him. His hair is tangled and little bits of something he can’t identify cover his hair. He’s a mess. Again.

Bam looks at himself, contemplating. He makes a decision. He undresses himself and steps into the shower. He turns it on and lets the hot water run down his body. He washes his body thoroughly, getting every bit of dirt off.

His hands start wondering. As his left hand descends down his body, he brushes across something. It’s hard. He looks down. His cock. It’s hard, erect, standing proudly amongst dark curls that are surrounding it.

He lets out a breath. It’s working again. Ever since the drinking routine started, it wouldn’t work, wouldn’t get erect. Now it is.

He wraps his hand around it and strokes. He lets out a groan; it feels incredibly good. His strokes grow faster, as he grows more needing. He imagines someone else is touching him. Ville. Immediately, he grows even harder. Yes, Ville.

He imagines Ville standing behind him. He can almost feel the soft hair tickling his nape. He leans back, almost sensing the chest of Ville behind him.

A soft and feminine looking hand curls around his waist, gently caressing his hip, and wondering lower. The fingers entwine with his own. Ville is stroking with him, faster and faster.

“Come for me. Come for me, Bam,” imaginary Ville softly whispers into his ear.

A burning feeling starts to build up in his groin, and before he realizes it, he’s coming.

He’s coming, harder than ever. He screams at the intensity of it, letting it all out.

Slowly, he leans back against the wall, which is the only thing that is supporting him. His breathing eases and he looks up. Ville has disappeared. The fantasy has ended.

A ringing interrupts his chain of thoughts. He looks up, disturbed by the sound of it.

Then he realizes it’s his phone. He runs into his bedroom, looking around wildly.

“Where have I left that stupid thing… Come on, I need it! … Stupid fucking phone, where the hell did I leave it?!” He mutters to himself.

He spots it on the bed and grabs it, flipping it open and letting out a rushed ‘Hello’.

“Hello Bam.”

He swallows. It’s him, again. Ville.

“H-hi! Are you o-okay?”

Ville laughs softly. “Bammie, of course I’m okay. I’m on the plane now, and I’ll be there in about half an hour. Could you please come and pick me up?”

Bam remains silent. ‘I’ll be there in half an hour.’ Ville is coming, and he is expecting to be there in half an hour.

“Fuck. SHIT!”

“Bam? Are you alright?”

He clenches his fist and swears again, realizing he’s still on the phone.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.. I just.. Yes. I’ll … I’ll be there in h-half an hour.”

“Bam? Did you forget I was coming?” Ville asked, slightly confused.

“N-no! No, of course not! I was just-“

“Oh, sweetheart, you DID forget didn’t you?” Ville is laughing again, louder this time. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll have to wait for you anyway, won’t I?”

“Y-yes. Sure. Look, I’m .. uh .. going to get dressed now,” Bam blurts out.

He blushes when he realizes what he said.

Ville laughs again.

“Okay, sweetheart, see you in half an hour! Or should I say, hour? Sorry, just teasing you. Anyway, the plane’s going to land now, so they want me to switch off my phone. See you, and take care!”

A click is heard, and the call has ended.

Bam slowly lowers his hand and flips his phone shut. For a few moments, he just gazes at his phone. Then he runs to his cupboard, throwing the door open and stops.

What is he going to wear? He can’t go in the clothes he wore last night, the scent of alcohol still in it. But it is his best jeans.. So what else could he wear…?

He groans, then grins. He’s like one of those preppy girls, who also don’t know what to pick.

“What shall I wear? Oh, this really is a disaster! This top just doesn’t go with this jeans. But they are my favourite jeans! Oh, what to do?”

Bam grins again, laughing inwardly at his stupid imitation of a prep.

He glances at his watch. Fifteen minutes left. Quickly, he pulls on a pair of jeans and puts on a hoodie. He reaches over for his keys and wallet and heads downstairs.

He walks out the front door and stops in his tracks. His car is gone.

He curses softly, as he remembered. Dunn, asked Bam if he could borrow his car. He wouldn’t say what for, but Bam had agreed anyway. He groaned. How was he going to get to the airport, without a car?

He considered the thought to ring Dunn and demand his car back. He shook his head. No, Dunn probably wouldn’t agree.

He could take his bike. He would be late, but still, he was always late. He grabbed his bike and set of to the airport.

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Bam looks around him, trying to find his way through the throng of people before him. He just can’t spot him; Ville.

He hears someone calling his name, but he can’t see who. Suddenly, someone catches him and pulls him into a near-suffocating hug. He struggles to get himself free, but the person won’t let him go.

“Bam! There you are! I’ve been looking all over the place for you, but I couldn’t find you. I tried going to one of those information desks, but they couldn’t help me out. Never mind, I’ve found you!”

Bam pulls himself away, and looks right into the laughing face of Ville. He nearly gasps, but holds it back just in time.

Ville is just as breath-taking as always. Soft brown hair, delicately curls down the sides of his pale, heart-shaped face. Bright and warm green eyes, beautifully sculptured cheeksbones and soft pink lips.

Bam finds himself staring at those lips, wishing he would know how they tasted like. Someone gently nudges him. He looks up, seeing that Ville is staring at him intently, his perfect lips curled into a gentle smile.

“Shall we go?”

Bam swallows.

“Y-yes, sure. You don’t really have a lot of luggage, do you? Oh, and by the way, I’m on a bike. I borrowed my car to Dunn and he’s doing something with it, don’t ask what. So, do you mind cycling? It’s just that I felt like cycling, I don’t know why, but – “

“Bammie, you never stop rambling! ‘Course I don’t mind we’re on a bike, I prefer it to a car!” Ville says, smiling.

Suddenly, Bam misses a step and falls. He closes his eyes as he can see the ground closing up on him.

An arm curls around his waist, and Ville pulls him up.

“Careful, sweetheart. You haven’t been drinking have you?” Ville says, slightly concerned.

Bam blinks.

“No, I haven’t.”

He feels Ville’s arm around his waist, holding him tight. He swallows and grabs Ville’s hand.

“You can let me go now,” Bam says, voice shaking.

Ville doesn’t let him go. Instead, he pulls Bam closer, against Ville’s warm body. The arm around his waist tightens.

Bam swallows again and pulls himself free. He straightens himself. He misses the look of hurt on Ville’s face. When he looks up again, Ville is grinning.

“Watch yourself Bam. Next time you fall, I may not be there to catch you.”

Bam blushes.

“Right. Let’s go.”

Somehow, they manage to fit all the luggage on the bike.

“Now we have to get on,” Ville says doubtfully.

“Yes. Now we have to get on. Who cycles?”

Ville looks at him.

“You of course. It would be a good idea if you would practise nót to fall all the time,” Ville grins.

“O-okay. Well. Hop on, I’ll say,” Bam mumbles, embarrassed.

He steps onto the bike, sensing Ville behind him. He sets of and starts cycling. He almost falls of his bike when two arms slip around his waist, holding him tightly.

“W-what are you doing?” Bam stutters.

From behind, Ville tightens his hold around Bam’s waist. Bam feels him smile slightly.

“Just to make sure you don’t fall. And if you fall, we’ll fall both.”

Bam shakes his head slightly, not understanding the meaning of Ville’s words. He sighs and savours the feeling of Ville’s arms around his waist.

They cycle down the road, with Bam’s house as their final destination.

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Wow, another rather long chapter! Hope you liked it, so please let me know what you think.
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More than a feeling