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Until You Lose Your Breath II	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
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Kaoru came back from work late as usually and Kyo was so bored without him all day. He now made supper every evening and waited for Kaoru to return. Two months have passed after the party and Shinya and Die’s argument. It was starting to get boring for him again because he was staying at home alone a lot.
-How was your day? –Kaoru asked.
-Let’s see… I slept, then ate, then watched TV, then slept… Should I continue?
-No, I get the idea, -Kaoru smiled at sat down at the table. They ate in silence for a while.
-Kyo…
-Yes? –Kyo asked with his mouth full.
-I get the impression that you’re always bored staying here all-alone all day.
Kyo shrugged.
-I hate being a slave in the house. You just come from work and get the best part of it: food and sex. I have to do all the other stuff.
-So why don’t you get a job?
-I don’t know… I don’t want to do a boring job.
-Would you like to sing again?
Kyo looked up at Kaoru suspiciously.
-What do you mean?
-Kyo, doctor said that with some precaution you can sing again. Wouldn’t you like that?
-I don’t know. Perhaps.
Kaoru put his sticks down and pushed the plate aside.
-Kyo, I was thinking about going back.
-Where?
-No, I mean… -Kaoru waved his hands in excitement. –I mean revive Dir En Grey! To work together again! Wouldn’t it be great?!
Kaoru looked at Kyo with a huge smile on his face. Kyo also put his sticks down and looked at Kaoru.
-No. It wouldn’t.
-What? Kyo, what are you saying?! You love singing! It’s all your life!
-No! I don’t want to be back in Dir En Grey!
-Why not?
-Just… no and that’s all! I don’t want to talk about it any more.
-No, Kyo, you must! I am seriously thinking to get us five back together and I’m going to talk to other guys as well. I just wanted to do it with you first.
-Well I just said that I’m not willing to sing in your band again! Are you deaf?
-Kyo! What is it with you today?!
Kyo suddenly stood up and glared at Kaoru.
-I’m not joining the band again! End of story! -Kyo shouted and stormed out of the kitchen. Kaoru looked surprised and lost for words. He didn’t understand what has just happened. He thought Kyo would be glad to join the band again. He loved singing!
Kaoru stood up and followed his lover. He found Kyo undressing and going to bed.
-Kyo, let’s talk about it like adults, please…
-I’m tired, I want to sleep.
-But you said that you slept all day!
Kyo didn’t answer and slipped under the covers turning his back to Kaoru. Kaoru decided to give up today. Maybe Kyo was just in a bad mood and he’ll be able to talk to him next day. So Kaoru cleaned the kitchen and after a hot shower joined Kyo in bed. He didn’t understand if Kyo was sleeping or not. He put his hand on Kyo’s hip and started caressing it slowly going down.
Kyo suddenly turned to him and hugged his waist. Kaoru felt that Kyo’s body started to tremble a little. Soon he felt that his t-shirt was getting wet from tears.
-Kyo, what is it? Are you ok?
But Kyo didn’t say anything. He just clung to Kaoru stronger. Kaoru hugged him back. He didn’t know what to do. Kyo hadn’t cried for ages. It wasn’t like him to cry over nothing. He only did it because of Kaoru.
But Kaoru couldn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t do anything wrong now.
***
In the morning Kaoru woke up in bed alone. He went to the kitchen and found Kyo there sitting at the table and smoking.
-Good morning, -Kaoru greeted him and Kyo smiled back. Kaoru sat near him and took a cigarette for himself.
-We should quit, you know, -he mused loudly. –It’s not giving us any good.
-I’m not going to quit ever, -Kyo said.
-I suppose it’s too hard to do that when we’re so addicted to it by now.
For some time they sat in silence when finally Kaoru spoke again:
-Kyo, why did you cry yesterday? Please, tell me… You worry me…
-You don’t need to worry about me, -Kyo answered silently. –Just don’t ever talk to me about joining the band again.
-But why?
-I just told you not to talk about it any more! I said no and I won’t change my mind!
-But why, Kyo? Then tell me a reason so that I could understand you!
Kyo stubbed a cigarette and looked at Kaoru.
-No!
-Don’t be childish, Kyo! Why can’t you say it?
-Because I can’t! And I won’t tell you! I don’t want to join the band again and that’s final!
-Does your voice still hurt?
-No.
-Then what is it?
Kyo stood up and headed for the door.
-Kyo, wait! What’s wrong with you?!
Kyo stopped and looked at his lover again.
-Do you love me, Kaoru?
-Yes!
-Do you really love me? Would you do anything for me?
-Yes!
-Then do one thing for me: don’t ever again ask me to join Dir En Grey.
-But…
Kyo turned and headed for the door. He angrily put his shoes on but didn’t manage to do anything else because Kaoru appeared next to him and blocked his way. He took Kyo’s hand and made Kyo look in his eyes.
-Kyo, you know I love you with all my heart. I don’t understand what’s wrong with you now and it worries me even more. But if you don’t want to tell me, I won’t bother you again about it. But I can’t promise to forget our band so easily. It meant so much to me and I want it back. But I can’t have it without you in it!
-Kaoru, I’m not going to sing in Dir En Grey again, -Kyo repeated stubbornly.
-But why? Give me a good reason, because now you sound like a spoiled brat!
-NO! I said I won’t tell you! I WON’T!
They stared for some seconds at each other and Kaoru finally gave up. He sighted and let go of Kyo’s arm.
-Ok, have it your way! But don’t get jealous when I and other guys will get involved in music again! There will be tours, long work hours and we’ll see less of each other!
-FINE!
Kyo pushed Kaoru aside and went out slamming the door. Kaoru sighted again and rubbed his already aching temples. It was so hard to deal with Kyo sometimes. He was so moody and vicious at times. He just hoped it was temporal. Kaoru decided not to talk about it for some time and bring this topic up again later when Kyo will be in a better mood.
***
Shinya just dreaded nights now. He couldn’t stand any more lying next to Die, feeling his body pressing to his and not to do anything. The worst was when he accidentally woke up at nights to find the space next to him empty.
The first time it happened he just assumed that Die was in a toilet. But when Die didn’t come back soon, Shinya got up and went to see what was wrong. Perhaps Die wasn’t feeling ok. Shinya saw that bathroom door weren’t completely closed and he glanced through the crack. He saw Die sitting on the corner of the bath. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted. Die was jerking himself off.
Shinya looked for a moment in shock then silently tiptoed back to the bed and lied down. After some time the running water was heard, then Die came back and quietly lied down next to Shinya.
Shinya felt an urge to hug him and never let go but he decided to pretend he was sleeping.
After that night it became like a habit. Shinya would wake up once in a week or so and would find the space in bed next to him empty. It was starting to affect him negatively. Die wanted to have a normal relationship but instead he had to jerk off at nights in the bathroom instead of making love with his lover.
Shinya felt guilty but he couldn’t just say he changed his mind and get back to having sex. Die would then think that Shinya’s weak and his threats are barren. Only two months have passed after his declaration of not having sex. Ten more months to go.
Shinya knew he’d go crazy himself. So there was no wonder that Die did what he did in the bathroom at nights. He could just turn Shinya over and screw him. Shinya wouldn’t mind.
But he had to be strong and show Die that he’s not a wimp!
Shinya sighted and looked at Puppy who was sleeping on the bed. Die was out to get a pack of cigarettes and Shinya waited for him to come back. They were planning to watch a movie in bed together.
Not a very good idea. They’ll have to sit close together, pressing one to another. Die would hug Shinya with one hand, Shinya would put his head on Die’s shoulder and smell the delicate fragrance of perfume that he himself selected for Die and gave him as a present. Die would absentmindedly caress Shinya’s thighs with his free hand going up but never touching Shinya’s crotch. Die’s muscular chest and arms always turned Shinya on. He loved cuddling with him. He loved how Die always hugged him as if Shinya was his precious piece from valuable collection that needs to be protected. He loved being in strong Die’s arms and knowing that he couldn’t escape the strong grip.
And he loved Die’s hot breathing on his neck while he roughly thrust into Shinya crushing him with his weight.
Shinya shuddered at the though. But he was even more agitated when he saw that he was hard.
-Oh no… -Shinya whined. He thought for a moment desperately what to do. Die should be back soon.
Shinya suddenly stood up, ran to the bathroom and closed the door. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and took of his pants and boxers. He desperately needed a release. He would go crazy if he would keep it in longer.
Blushing furiously Shinya took his member in his hand and started jerking himself. He never did that before and that felt wrong. It should be Die who would help him to release.
But Shinya knew it was his fault that he had to do this himself so he just tried not to think and get this over sooner. He definitely didn’t want Die to see him. He would never survive the shame.
***
-That was a great movie! –Die yawned sleepily. It was already late and he wanted to go to bed.
-Yes, it was, -Shinya agreed silently.
-By the way, forgot to tell you. Kaoru called. He asked us to come over next weekend. He wants to talk with us about something. Toshiya’s also coming. With his pop freak, of course. He’ll drag that cocky bastard with himself everywhere!
-Stop speaking so nasty about Miyavi, -Shinya scolded. –Toshiya loves him, so be nice to him!
-Whatever you say, -Die smiled and draw Shinya closer to himself.
-I wonder what Kaoru wants us for, -Shinya mused.
-He said it’s about reviving Dir En Grey.
Shinya looked at Die in disbelieve.
-Really?! Is that possible?
-I guess so. Kyo can sing, can’t he?
-Yeah…
Shinya put his head on Die’s shoulder again.
-What do you think about it? –Die asked gently rubbing Shinya’s back. –Do you want to go back?
-Yes… I’d love to!
-Me too.
They sat in silence for some time when Die said:
-Let’s go to sleep already, ok? I’m very tired.
Shinya nodded, stood up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Die followed him with his eyes and sighted. He already stopped trying to change Shinya’s mind. He tried to talk to him, but that didn’t help. Then he tried to seduce him. He was walking only with a small towel on his hips after shower in front of Shinya’s eyes but that didn’t help either. He tried turning his back to Shinya and bending to pick something up but Shinya ignored even that. Die also tried lots of other things that would help to seduce his lover but finally gave up. Shinya was so stubborn and he wanted to prove to Die that he was not weak.
Then so be it, Die thought. I’ll endure it somehow. It’s only a year.
He hoped that they’ll manage to revive Dir En Grey so they’ll have lots of work and he’ll be occupied with other things instead of looking at Shinya’s feminine figure and wishing he could claim it as his over and over again until they fell to sleep from exhaustion.
TBC

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Until You Lose Your Breath II