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Queen of My Heart	By : SavageWords Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Westlife Views: 1692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Westlife. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Six

Kian sat on his bed, strumming his guitar lightly as his mind was filled with heavy thoughts. His light blue eyes were red rimmed with lack of sleep and there were faint circles under them. He stared out of the bedroom window as he began to play My Love. Midway through the song he felt a hand on his shoulder. His head turned to see Jodi standing behind him. Looking up at her he offered a sad sort of smile. “Hey.”

Sitting next to him on the bed, Jodi frowned. “I don’t remember you coming to bed last night.”

Continuing to strum the guitar, Kian looked down at the floor. “I wasn’t tired.”

“Kian what’s going on with us?” Jodi asked quietly. When Kian didn’t answer, she sighed. “We seemed to be fine until-“

“Until Emmy came back, right? That’s what ya were gonna say, right?” Kian twisted around to give her a glowering look.

“There you go putting words into my mouth again.” Jodi snapped.

Putting the guitar down, Kian spun around to look at her face to face. “Then what were ya gonna say?” He stared in her eyes.

Jodi could tell that he was on edge and with Kian that could be very dangerous. His intensity was a double edge sword with him. On one hand he could be the most exciting lover and person to be around. He had a vibe that electrified others around him. Then there was his other side. With his anger and his stubbornness it could backfire on you, and in the most painful ways. “I was going to say it’s only been a couple of days since you and Emmy…found each other for a lack of better word.”

“And your point is?” Kian demanded.

“Kian, it’s been nine years since you’ve seen her. A lot of things change. Look at yourself for instance.” Jodi started to explain. “You’re not the same little boy she has to protect. Nor is she the one who you have to protect anymore.”

“Jodi ya just don’t-“

“Yes, I do understand. I know what it’s like to have childhood mates. But you’re grown up now Kian. You have had a life without her for nine years. It’s time to start thinking about other things.” Jodi interrupted as she put her hand up.

“Like what?” Kian snapped.

“Like maybe protecting and loving me.” Jodi replied with a touch of raw anger to her voice.

Kian’s eyes widened. “I do love ya Jodi, how could ya ever doubt that? Just because I have a girl as a mate doesn’t mean that I don’t love ya!” He began to raise his voice. “I don’t know where this distrust comes from, but how many times do I have to tell ya I love you before you start believin’ me?”

“It would be nice to know you believe what you say.” Jodi yelled back. “But I’m not the one you’ve been spending your time with, am I?”

Kian stood up and began to pace. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair wildly as he began to grind his teeth. Whipping around he came to stand in front of Jodi. “Nothin’ has changed between us in the past few days. Nothin’ at all. I still love ya Jodi. What it looks like to me is that ya won’t even give Emmy a chance.”

Jodi stood up to join him. “Why should I give her a chance when all you think about is being with her?” Her eyes flashed with anger as she got in his face.

“What?” Kian exclaimed. “That’s a fuckin’ lie!” His heart thudded in his chest. As much as he denied Jodi’s words, the thought of liking Emmy like that ran through his head once again.

“Is it?” Jodi crossed her arms over her chest. “All I’ve heard in the past couple of days is Emmy this and Emmy that!” She glared at him. “I came here to be with you for your week off, Kian. Just like you asked. So far we haven’t spent one night together. Not one. Now you’re going to go off for four months. How do you think I’m supposed to feel?”

“What am I supposed to tell ya?” Kian yelled. He began pacing again, moving with short thunderous steps. Turning around to look at her there was a burning fire in his eyes. “Yea it’s been nearly a week since Emmy came back to me. But Jodi, we’ve been together a hell of a lot longer than that! If ya can’t trust me now, maybe ya never can.”

Pursing her lips together, Jodi stared at him. This wasn’t turning out the way she thought it would. She didn’t want to fight with Kian at all. She loved him in her own special way. But the thought that Emmy could mean more to him enraged her. “Maybe we just need a small break from all this.” She blurted out.

“Oh gonna leave me now?” Kian grounded out as he glared at her. “I’ve done nothin’ wrong, Jodi. Nothin’.” There was pain in his voice.

She stared at him for a long time before she spoke. “If you can’t see it now, Kian, I don’t know how to help you.”

“See what?” Kian screamed. “All I see is that I love ya and you’re fuckin’ pissed off that I’m finally happy.” He began to take a step towards her. “I love ya Jodi, so help me I do. But a part of me loves Emmy too. She is my friend, Jodi. Nothin’ in the world is gonna change that.”

“I’m going home to London, Kian.” She blinked back her tears. She made her way towards the door. “My door will be open when you want to talk.”

With anger pulsing through his veins, Kian turned his back to the door. When he heard the door close, he slumped on the bed. Clenching his fists so tight, he had to breathe deeply or he was afraid he was going to hit something. He felt the anger pulse inside of him, threatening to consume him. What was wrong with him? Never before had he and Jodi fought like this before. Why couldn’t she understand?

A soft knock on the door about ten minutes later got his attention. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. He liked it better alone, and he had a feeling he was going to have to get used to it. “Go away!” There was a snarl to his voice.

The door opened a bit and Emmy stuck her head in. “Kian? Is everything ok?”

Hearing her voice was like the clouds parting for the sun. Lifting his head, he motioned with his hand for her to enter. "Come on in, Little One.” His voice softened.

Entering, Emmy shut the door behind her. Her eyes turned to Kian and when she saw how tense his shoulders were, she became alert that something was wrong. “Kian? Are you ok? If this is a bad time?”

He turned around and that’s when she saw anger in his cerulean eyes. “No, I’m not ok.” His voice seemed very far away. Just as he was about to lose it, he watched as she came forward with open arms. Reaching for her, he buried his head in her hair as he let go.

Feeling his hot breath on the skin of her neck, Emmy squeezed her arms tight around him. She had never seen Kian this angry before. He was like an uncaged wild beast. Then as soon as she touched him the anger went right out of him as he sagged against her. Reaching up she ran her fingers through the blonde softness that was his hair. Whispering soothing words to him, she rocked him in her arms. As her fingers played with the soft hairs at the nape of his neck, she kissed his temple. “What happened?”

“Me and Jodi…” Kian swallowed hard as he fought to continue. “We had an argument. She’s goin’ home.” He pulled her to him tighter as if in an effort to use Emmy as his instrument of forgetting the pain.

“Oh Kian, I’m so sorry.” Emmy stroked back his hair.

“She just doesn’t understand.” Kian mumbled.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what doesn’t she understand?” Emmy lifted his head so she could look at him. Her heart broke as she saw the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. Even in this state she couldn’t believe how handsome he was. That thought alone had her mentally slapping herself. Where in the world did that thought come from? This was good old Kian.

“About us.” Came the answer.

Now she was on high alert as she stared into the blue pools of his eyes. “What about us?” She asked cautiously.

“She doesn’t understand how much ya mean to me, Little One.” Kian moved his hand down her arm to take her hand in his own. “How much I value our friendship.” He intertwined their fingers.

“You mean a lot to me also, Kian.” Emmy spoke slowly. “But Jodi is your girlfriend. I’m just your friend. In all honestly Kian, she should come first.”

“Emmy please don’t tell me ya don’t understand how I feel?” Kian pleaded softly. “Yes, Jodi is my girlfriend. But what kinda girlfriend would make me choose between her and me mates? All I asked is that she understand that you fit into me life just as much as she does.”

“I understand how you feel about me, and I know how I feel about you. I think we have a unique friendship. The nine years absence feels almost non-existent. I feel closer to you know more than ever.” Emmy agreed.

“See what I mean?” Kian gave her a sad smile.

“But I don’t want to be responsible for coming between you and Jodi.” She sighed.

“Yea, I love Jodi. But the thought of not havin’ you in me life again…” Kian took a ragged breath as he closed his eyes. When he felt Emmy’s hand on his cheek, he moved his hand up to cover her’s as he opened his eyes. “I need ya in me life, Little One. I need ya more than ever.” His voice dipped low as he stared into her eyes.

“I’m always going to be in your life, Kian, always.” Emmy whispered as she smiled at him.

Unconsciously moving his head closer to her’s, Kian could smell the scent of the perfume she wore. It was a light flowery scent that reminded him of their special place. He slowly moved his hands so he cupped her face. “Forever, Little One, forever.” He nuzzled his cheek against her’s. Her skin was so soft and he found he couldn’t get enough.

“Forever Kian.” Her voice was hushed as she nodded. Emmy had gone still as she felt Kian’s hands on her face. Once again Bridget’s words invaded her mind. Could her cousin be right?

Without warning Kian tilted his head as he brushed his lips against her’s. In that single moment he felt a pure electrical shock course through his body. In a split second his feelings for her were far from friendly. He found that he wanted it, he needed to kiss her.

The door opened quickly and they bolted apart. Kian jumped almost a foot away from her as he looked guiltily at the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to hide the fact he was shaking.

Emmy gripped the edge of the bed until her knuckles were white. Her pule was racing a mile a minute. The feel of Kian’s lips on her’s was permanently etched into her brain. She felt a flush of heat on her face as she blushed.

Patricia walked into the room. “Kian, Louis is here with the lads.” Her eyes narrowed as she found her son and his friend not looking at each other but the carpet. “Is everythin’ ok?” She asked cautiously.

Kian stood up and put on his best smile. “Yea, Mum. It is now.”

Nodding Patricia knew when her son was lying to her. “Good. Louis brought the demos. He thought you and the lads would want to hear them. I’ll tell them you’ll be down.” She gave her son one last look before exiting the room.

Kian’s eyes lit up as he looked down at Emmy. “Do ya wanna hear our new album before anyone else?”

Emmy looked up at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Our manager has a rough cut of our new album. We bribed him to let us hear it. Come on downstairs. I want ya to hear it with us.” He held out his hand for her.

As Emmy stood, Kian pulled her to him. As their bodies brushed against each other, Kian kissed her cheek. “Thank you Little One. You’re truly me guardian angel.” He whispered to her.

“You certainly keep me busy.” Emmy smiled at him.

Kian laughed as he took her hand and began to walk out to head downstairs. He knew he should have been more upset about the fight with Jodi. He knew he should have been bothered by the fact he almost kissed Emmy. But feeling her hand in his all his problems seemed to melt away.

* * * * * *

Kian sat on the floor staring straight ahead as the song Turn Around filled the air. He couldn’t keep the smile from forming on his face. Mark was bobbing his head along with the song as Shane and Nicky were mouthing along with the words. Bryan just sat with his arms crossed and a cocky grin on his face.

“So what do you think lads?” Louis asked with a proud papa like grin on his face.

“This is fuckin’ brilliant.” Mark grinned back at his manager. “God, I’m good.” He laughed as he ducked from a fake left hook from Shane.

Kian’s eyes shifted over to Emmy to gauge her reaction. He smiled wider as he watched her. She sat in the recliner with her knees brought up to her chest. It was still a mystery to him that she could be dressed so casually with T-shirt, jeans and a backward baseball cap and be the most beautiful thing in the room. He had to get control of himself, for thoughts like that were dangerous. She seemed to be looking shyly at the floor but as if she felt Kian’s eyes on her, she raised her head. When their eyes met he winked at her, which caused her to smile.

“I thought it was good for your last night home.” Louis looked at Shane, Mark and Kian.

“Last night home?” Emmy couldn’t help but blurt out.

“Yea. We’re leavin’ tomorrow to start gettin' ready for the tour.” Mark nodded. “For the next four months that fuckin’ bus is gonna be our home.” He grumbled.

“If the bus is so bad then why do we have a hard time wakin’ your arse up every mornin’?” Louis gave Mark a pointed look as the others laughed.

Emmy quickly looked at Kian to see a sort of sadness fill his eyes. She knew it was only four months but just after finding him again, the last thing she wanted to do was say goodbye.

How would he live four months away from her, Kian thought to himself. But which Her do you mean, his mind taunted him. He had been without Jodi before on tour, but never Emmy. As far as he was concerned he had spent enough time without her. You always needed your mates around, as his dad would say. Then he sighed. Emmy was right. He hadn’t been very nice to Jodi lately. He knew he had to atone for that. But as if the choice was being made for him, the next song started to play. He raised his head as Shane’s voice came across the air, singing Obvious.

Hearing the lyrics to the song Emmy’s head rose as her eyes met Kian’s. He stared back at her with an intense look. She watched as he began to mouth the words. She didn’t know what bothered her more, the words or watching his lips. Her skin broke out in goosebumps as the chorus started. She lifted her head to look to see if the others caught on. It was then she found out they were in quite a playful mood.

The other lads began to sing along with the song. When it was time for Bryan to sing his solo verse, he turned his head and winked at her as he sang. She offered up a smile as she watched Mark do the same. But the biggest mistake is when she looked back at Kian.

He was looking deep into her eyes as he sang with the rest of them. But it wasn’t just Emmy that caught on. Nicky nudged Shane as they gave each other knowing looks. Kian’s eyes were focused on Emmy and Emmy alone as he sang softly.

Emmy felt the emotion flow between them, ebbing with a life of its own. Once again the feeling of Kian’s lips on her’s filled her thoughts. She instantly became scared. She was afraid that Bridget had been right all along. But what scared her the most was that a deep tiny part of her wanted Kian to feel like that because she was staring to feel the same way.

* * * * * *

Kian pulled up into the driveway of the Riley cottage. He and Emmy barely spoke on the ride home. After listening to the entire demo Emmy had said she needed to go home. There wasn’t a shortage on offers but it was Kian who told his pals that he would be the one to bring her home. There were plenty of smirks to go around, but no arguments. Sitting in the car, the silence spread out between them.

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

Emmy’s question broke the silence as Kian turned to look at her. “I don’t know. Bein’ our greatest hits tour, they wanna promote us pretty well. Then with the dvd tapin’ in Manchester…” he shrugged.

“You are making another dvd?” She asked in mild surprise.

“Yea, a concert dvd of the tour.” Kian nodded. “Plus we’ll be filmin’ for the documentary about our two hometown concerts.” Then he glanced over. Without warning, he reached over and snatched the light blue New York Yankees cap that she wore off of her head.

“Hey! Give me that back!” She tried to reach for it.

Holding it over her head, Kian began to bend the brim to the way he liked it.

“Kian, that’s mine.” She protested as she tried to reach for it.

Giving her a sexy grin, he slipped it on his head. “Now it’s mine.”

“What?” She tried to reach for it again. “I don’t think so.”

“Yes, it is. Ya got me medal, and now I got your hat. Fair is fair.” He grinned evilly at her. “I’m gonna wear this everyday I’m on tour, to remember ya.”

“God, you are gonna be busy.” Emmy laid her head back on the seat as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Fuck, I know.” Kian ran his hands over his face. Then he turned to her. “I need to talk to ya often, Emmy.”

“How will I get a hold of you?” Emmy asked as she chuckled. “I think you’re gonna be a hard person to reach, Mr. Egan.”

“I’ll call ya everyday.” Kian swore vehentamately. Then he saw the look she was giving him, as if she knew better. “Or as much as I can. I’m serious, Little One. Talkin’ to ya helps keep me grounded.”

“Are you sure you won’t get tired of talking to me?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Never!”

Emmy shook her head, grinning, as she got out of the car. “We’ll see a couple of months down the line. Then it’s gonna be, ugh I have to call Emmy yet again.” She turned to laugh at him. Except Kian was right there and she bumped into him. She felt his arms come around to waist to steady her.

“What will it take to show ya I’m serious?” Kian asked softly as he put a finger under her chin, raising her head so he could look into her eyes.

The instant their eyes met Emmy felt that spark she first felt back in his bedroom. With their bodies pressed close together, she could feel the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat under her palm. “Shouldn’t you be calling Jodi everyday?” She blushed as she heard her voice come out shaky.

“You’re the one who understands me, Little One.” Kian whispered as he began to lower his head. “For some reason God has seen to it to make ya the only one who truly understands me.” His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he cupped her face in his hands. His eyes couldn’t help but stare at the fullness of her lips. Why didn’t he notice how full her lips were before now? Or the way her lashes were so long and framed the emerald orbs. Looking at her Kian didn’t see his longtime friend, he saw a beautiful woman who stirred his blood. Once again that sudden urge to kiss her was there. It frightened Kian but at the same time it excited him.

“Kian-“

Without warning, he cut off her words with his lips. In a brief moment of panic, Emmy tried to push him away. Yet Kian wasn’t going to let her go. He didn’t want to talk right now. He pressed his lips down harder, taking control. His tongue darted out to trace her lips. Emmy felt as if she was being swept up into an erotic whirlwind. The kiss shocked them both as they both reached out for each other at the same time. Tilting his head, his lips began to master her’s as his hand came to cup the back of her neck. He fought a moan when his fingers slid through the silkiness of her hair. When he felt her body soften and her tongue snake out to touch his lips, he moaned as he opened up his mouth further. He moved his other hand down to her butt as he pulled her tighter against him.

Emmy was deep in shock as she felt Kian’s kiss. Voices were screaming in her head. One was yelling at her to stop, that it was wrong to kiss him. But it was the other one who was winning out. It told her to kiss him back, that she was only going to get one chance at this. It was she always wanted, wasn’t it?

Kian deepened the kiss as he began to suckle on the tip of her tongue. The more she gave, the more he took. Never in his wildest fantasies would he expect to find a kiss as hot as this. He moaned in her mouth as he felt her tongue tease his.

As the kiss slowly ended they pulled back to stare at each other. Kian found that his breath came in soft pants as he tried to refill his lungs with air. He couldn’t take his gaze away from the emerald depths of her eyes. He could see the questions and the confusion in them. What in the fuck had he just done?

Emmy’s chest rose and fell with a winded breath. As soon as he pulled away from her, she suddenly wanted to feel his kiss again. She had just done it, gone past the line of friendship. She kissed Kian. There was no going back now.

“If ya think that I’m regrettin’ what just happened, you’re wrong.” Kian spoke first with blunt words.

Swallowing hard, Emmy searched for the right words. “No, I wasn’t going to ask that.”

“Then what were ya gonna say, Emmy?” Kian challenged her.

She was silent for a couple of seconds before she sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” There was amusement in his voice.

“What do you expect me to say?”

“Tell me ya enjoyed it. Tell me that ya know it wasn’t wrong.” Kian whispered as he looked down at her. His voice was pleading as if he desperately needed for her to say the words.

“I enjoyed it.” She admitted somewhat reluctantly.

Those were like magic words to Kian’s ears. He gathered her up in his arms and hugged her tight against his hard chest. “So did I, Little One.”

“But Kian, we have to think about this.” Emmy looked up with a frightened expression on her face.

“What?”

“Jodi is still your girlfriend.” Emmy pointed out.

Hearing Jodi’s name was like having a bucket of cold water being dumped on him. Kian slowly let Emmy go as he took a step back. His heart began to ache as he thought of his girlfriend. A part of him still loved her very much. Yet a part of him was yearning for Emmy in a new way.

“She loves you, Kian. I can’t bear knowing I came between you two. I won’t cause you more pain.” Emmy’s voice cracked as she stepped back. “Plus this is too new…too unreal for me right now.”

“What are ya talkin’ about, Emmy?” Kian couldn’t believe his ears.

“A minute ago we were friends. Now it seems you want something more, something I’m not sure you fully understand. Something I’m not sure I fully understand.” She began to shake her head.

“We are friends.” Kian insisted as he grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. “If ya think this doesn’t scare me, you’re wrong. It scares me, Emmy. I’m tryin’ to figure out how I can go from wantin’ one woman to two in the matter days.”

Emmy’s head snapped up. “You don’t want me Kian, not like that.”

“Don’t tell me what I feel!” He began to raise his voice. But her words were making sense. What exactly did he feel for Emmy? When he saw Emmy jump, he hugged her. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell. It’s just I’m confused as hell right now.”

“Jodi was right.” Emmy sounded sad.

“Right about what?” Kian asked.

“You do need some time to think.” Emmy stepped back away from him again.

“Emmy don’t do this to me.” Kian pleaded with her. “Yea, Jodi and I are havin’ problems. But don’t ever doubt that I love ya in me own special way.”

“I don’t doubt you care for me Kian. But I don’t think you know what you want right now.” She sighed.

“What the fuck do ya want me to do?” Kian yelled.

“I want you to go do what you do best. Call me when you need to talk to me. I’ll be here waiting for you. When you decide what you want, I’ll be here. As a friend or…” She trailed off. She knew it was wrong to leave him like this, but she was scared. For the first time she didn’t know what to do where Kian was concerned. The kiss awakened feelings she swore she never had. Emmy knew it was she who needed the time more than Kian did.

Knowing that they were at an impasse, Kian wanted to scream as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m gonna miss ya so much, Emmy.”

“I’ll miss you too Kian. But unlike last time, I’m not going anywhere.” Emmy stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips quickly. “Goodbye Kian.” She turned and with fast steps began walking up to the cottage.

Watching her go, Kian’s heart felt empty. “Goodbye Little One.” He took off the hat he wore and looked at it. Smiling to himself, Kian could still picture it on her head. Bringing it to his nose, he sniffed. It still smelled of her shampoo she used. He had no idea why it was important, only that it was. Adjusting it, he slipped it back onto his head.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. Now he was more confused than ever. Walking to his car he let his shoulders sag. Why was it that his heart was torn in two? On one hand Jodi was there. He knew he loved her. Then there was Emmy. The feelings he was starting to have for Emmy scared him like nothing ever before.
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Queen of My Heart