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Until You Lose Your Breath II	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Thoughts are separated with **
CHAPTER 7
Three months have passed and all the guys were more and more getting into work. Suddenly there were lots of things to do. They practiced a lot at first to be as good as they were at playing. Then all the paper work had to be done and the commercials to let Japan know that they were back. The biggest pressure was on Kyo because he had to answer most of the journalist’s questions because everyone was interested about his voice.
Finally, they had to discuss the album.
-We just released our new album ‘Withering to Death’ and we ended our career during the first concert, -Die was arguing. –We haven’t performed a song live from the album! Why should we bother recording a new one straight away?
-Because people know these songs very well! They were all over the radio when we disbanded! -Kaoru answered. –If we want to be famous again, we must create new songs.
-I think Kaoru’s right, -Shinya said. –We can make some concerts but at the same time make new songs for the album. We really need a fresh start.
-I agree, -Toshiya said and Kyo nodded.
-You’re just being lazy, -Kaoru said to Die.
-No, he’s just being angry because he doesn’t get any, -Toshiya laughed.
Shinya blushed immediately and felt uncomfortable. He didn’t want these things to be discussed in public. He was feeling bad enough about it already. Die just looked angrily at Toshiya wondering who told the bassist of his problem.
-So I suppose you are getting much? Or is that pop freak already cheating on you? –Die shot back in return.
-He’s not! Miyavi said he loves me! –Toshiya said proudly and smiled.
-Not for long, -Die muttered.
-Die! –Shinya said angrily. –How can you? Don’t wish bad for Totchi! If you’re in a bad mood, don’t wreak your fury on others!
-And whose fault is that I’m in a bad mood?! –Die shot back.
Everyone fell silent. Shinya just stared at Die for a moment and then lowered his eyes.
-Uh… I was already going to let us all go home, -Kaoru suddenly said. –Get a rest because next week’s going to be crazy.
-Ok, Kao, -Toshiya said. –Bye!
-Let’s go home, Kyo, -Kaoru said and they both went out.
Die stood there for a moment and then left. Shinya thought he’ll have to go home by bus, but when he got out of the building he saw the car in its place with Die sitting in the driver’s place. Shinya was glad that Die didn’t leave, but he didn’t really want to face him right now. Shinya knew that it was partly his fault that Die was most of the time in a bad mood. Shinya himself was feeling horrible but he didn’t know how to sort things out and make everything ok again.
He sat in the car but Die didn’t even glance at him and started driving. Shinya put his hands on his legs and looked at them all the time. They got home in silence, ate their supper in silence and went to bed still not speaking. Shinya wanted to say something but he didn’t know what. He fell asleep feeling miserable.
But soon he was woken up by Die who was gently shaking his arm.
-Shinya? Are you asleep?
-What? What happened? –Shinya mumbled and turned to look at Die. He could only see the contours of Die’s head but he didn’t see the expression on his face.
-I just wanted to tell you that I’m not angry with you. I love you, Shinya. It was a hard day, lots of work lately and I just was in a bad mood for a long time now. But… I…
-I love you too, Die, very, very much.
Perhaps Die smiled, but Shinya couldn’t see. He only heard a ‘goodnight’ and saw Die lay down. After some time Die was asleep. Shinya looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost twelve o’clock.
As much as he tried, Shinya couldn’t fall asleep that night any more.
* Die said it was all stress and lots of work… But he didn’t mention the main reason of his constant bad mood. It’s all because he loves me but can barely touch me… I’m so stupid… I torture him so much… *
Soon Shinya was crying and trying with all his will to think of some way out of this misery. But he just couldn’t think of anything.
***
Kyo looked angrily at the clock. It was only eight thirty and somebody dared to call him and wake him up after he had a wild night with Kaoru and was very tired after only several hours of sleep. Kaoru didn’t even flinch when the phone started to ring.
-Hai, -Kyo picked up the phone rather angrily.
-Kyo?
-Shinya? What do you want so early in the morning?
-Are you alone?
-Of course not! Kao’s here but he’s sleeping. You want to talk to him?
-NO! I mean… no. Kyo, could we meet? In private? Now? I really need to talk to you…
-Did something happen?
-No. But I really need to talk to you, please.
-Now?
-Yes, please… And don’t tell Kaoru. I want it to be just between the two of us.
-Ok, -Kyo sighted.
So they arranged the place and Kyo left leaving a short note to Kaoru and saying that he went for the groceries. It was a lie but he didn’t know what else to do.
Shinya already waited for him at the table in the cafeteria. He smiled weakly seeing Kyo.
-So what’s up? –Kyo asked. –Is something wrong?
-Well… yes and no. It’s about Die.
-What about him? Did he pester you all the evening?
-I torture him… -Shinya whispered and lowered his head.
-Shin-chan, what’s going on?
-I can’t bear seeing that look on his face everyday! He hates it when I push him away but he can’t say anything… He endures it for me but it’s so hard for me to see him… jerking off in the bathroom at nights and looking with an envy at the couples in the park… I’m afraid he’ll start hating me for doing this to him…
-Then why do you still keep it up? –Kyo asked gently.
-But I can’t just say that I changed my mind! He’ll think that he can get away with everything!
-He’s not a child that needs to be punished, Shinya. He knows that he did a mistake. You want him to respect you and do what you ask. But hasn’t he proved that he can do what is good for you? Has he complained about your celibacy year?
-At first he did, but he has stopped doing that months ago… -Shinya whispered.
-So you see! Shinya, even I can see that he loves you. You had your way, now you can stop being a dickhead and go back to normal life without any punishments or I-want-you-to-respect-me things! He does respect your opinion! If he didn’t, he would have tried to change your mind!
-I know, but… How can I say that I want to make love to him after only five months? –Shinya looked at Kyo pleadingly. –I want that myself so much… I thought that I can live without sex for as long as I want but I was proven wrong just after some days… I want to make love to him so badly. I miss his body, his hot breathing on my neck, I want him to take me gently as he always does, treating me like I was made of porcelain…
-Ok, enough of the details! –Kyo interrupted. –I’ll get the nightmares at night!
Shinya smiled meekly and sighted.
-Look, Shin-chan. Just do him a surprise. Say that you think it’s already enough for him and say what you just told me! Say you don’t want to torture him and yourself any more.
-You think it would be ok like this?
-Sure! He’ll be happy, trust me! –Kyo grinned. –And if he’s intelligent enough, he won’t tease you for wanting to make love yourself. He knows now that he can be in real trouble when Shin-chan gets angry!
-Oh Kyo… thank you…
Shinya hugged Kyo and smiled happily.
-I really needed your advice!
-No problem! You can count on me! Just… maybe not so early in the morning!
Shinya smiled affectionately and released Kyo from his hug.
-Just don’t tell Kaoru about it, ok?
-Why not?
-Please, Kyo, promise me you won’t tell a soul! Kaoru and Die are best friends! If you’ll tell him, he’ll tell Die! And I don’t want Die to know that it was a torture for me too! I don’t want to loose my face in front of him!
-Ok, -Kyo sighted. –I promise I won’t tell a soul!
-Thank you! –Shinya beamed.
***
Kaoru was sitting in the kitchen when Kyo came back. He looked at his lover and asked:
-So where are the groceries?
-What? –Kyo looked at him surprised. –Oh… errr… I just bought cigarettes instead.
He put several new packs of cigarettes on the table and smiled.
-I’m so hungry! Did you make coffee?
Kaoru didn’t say anything. He looked at Kyo a bit angrily.
-Where were you, really?
-I just told you, -Kyo answered. He stood with his back to Kaoru, so this made it even easier to lie.
-You never get up this early, Kyo. And we’ve got lots of food and other stuff. Kyo, what’s going on with you?
Kyo turned to look at Kaoru and smiled warmly:
-Stop being paranoid! I just felt like going for a walk early in the morning and buy something.
He came closer to Kaoru and sat on his lap.
-Let’s go somewhere today?
-For example?
-I don’t know. Movies… Italian restaurant… amusement park… wherever!
-Ok, -Kaoru smiled and kissed Kyo on the lips.
-You know that I love you? –he asked.
But Kyo didn’t say anything. He only kissed Kaoru back and went back to making coffee.
***
Shinya got back home feeling much better. Die was still asleep. Shinya made breakfast but Die didn’t wake up until late in the afternoon. They ate speaking about nothing in particular and Shinya noticed that Die was still in a bad mood. Not for long, Shinya smiled to himself.
-I’m going, -Die suddenly said and stood up.
-Where?!
-Don’t know yet, -Die shrugged.
-But why?
Die looked at his lover in surprise.
-Why can’t I go out when you’re visiting your parents?
-What?
* Oh, right! * Shinya totally forgot that he was expected at his parent’s house today. Just a casual visit once in some months.
-Yeah, I’m going, but I’ll be back till supper.
-Ok, -Die said already going to put on his shoes. –See ya!
-Don’t be late for dinner!
Die just grunted something in response and went out. It was obvious that he was in a bad mood and needed to chill out alone. Shinya didn’t like that Die was going somewhere alone, but maybe he just needed a few drinks.
* Well, in the evening things are going to be fine again! I have to prepare now! * And Shinya hurried happily to clean the flat and prepare while Puppy was tailing along with him. He’d call his parents and say that he can’t make it today. It was more important to make Die happy again.

TBC

It’d be nice if I got some comments ^^
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Until You Lose Your Breath II