Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

White Nights	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1457 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
One week and four days. And his trial is going to be held on the 25th of May. So, another three weeks to wait.
“I fucking hate waiting!”
I throw an empty box of take-out food on the floor and glare through the window. I hate being alone all the time. Without Kaoru. In this big empty house.
And it’s going to be only Kaoru’s fault if I’m going to be alone for ten more years.
“This is fucking bullshit!”
I growl and step inside the house. I’m sick of sitting on the porch and starring at the backyard all the time. Alone. There’s nothing I can do. Nothing to kill the time with.
I glance at the living-room. We used to spend so many evenings here together, just sitting on the sofa, having a drink, watching some comedy. Eating something Kaoru prepared. Now I hardly can spend in the kitchen more than a few minutes. I can’t force myself to step inside and stay longer. There’s no blood on the floor anymore, it’s been wiped off clean. But the images have remained. Nobody removed them from my mind. They’re still there.
I can still see him standing in my kitchen, leaning on the table and leering at me all happy and mad. He entered my safety zone, my only real home, the place where I started my life anew, with Kaoru by my side. It should have been a fresh new start, without the shit from the past coming back to haunt me.
But now he tainted even this place. And Kaoru is gone.
Because of him.
I sigh and make myself to move. I need something to drink. As much as I don’t want to go in there…. I have to…
I try not to think about anything, really, I just try to wait through this time until Kaoru’s trial. But now this thought, which used to sooth me a lot, scares the shit out of me. And it is Kaoru’s fucking fault!
The worst that he could get was from two to four years in prison, considering the circumstances. But he went with the second option. The one that his free lawyer given by the state suggested him. Kaoru is going to try to win the case by either being completely acquitted of all his charges and being set free, or going to jail for ten years.
Ten fucking years!
I tried everything – from pleading and begging him to change his mind to getting angry and mad at him. Nothing helped. He is holding on to his decision and now it’s not going to be changed anymore. Kaoru thinks he’s not going to be sentenced. His lawyer said that there was an 80% chance that they’ll win the case.
Do I believe in some mediocre, underpaid loser of a lawyer? Hell no! And I don’t understand why Kaoru would believe him! It’s a huge risk! Instead of going for the worst case of getting sentenced for four years, he’s going for ten! Ten years in prison!
I step over the threshold of the kitchen and stop for a moment, starring at the spot where the fucker once stood, hovering over my tied and gagged body, gun in his hand, an already slight erection visible in his pants. His fucking cunt of a face. How much I hate him! With all my heart!
I don’t know if I ever felt a stronger feeling for any living being on earth. My hate towards him overpowers everything else, even my love to Kaoru. And that saddens me. It saddens me a lot.
When I saw him dead, cold and bluish, lying like a lab rat on the table, I felt nothing. He was gone and all I wanted to do was go see Kaoru at last.
But now, standing in the kitchen, just a couple of meters away from him, I feel fear again. I cannot look away, yet I am scared to turn away from him. He might leap on me any moment. He might knock me out, tie me up, tear my clothes off, thrust me on the floor and spread my legs---
I gulp loudly and lower my eyes. I hurry to the fridge, take out a bottle of mineral water and turn around to leave. He’s just watching me from the corner of his eyes, he doesn’t make a move and I don’t test my luck, I hurry out of the kitchen as quickly as I can.
Only when I step into the living room I can breathe easier. I sit on the sofa and inhale deeply, trying to calm myself down.
I cannot accept the choice that Kaoru made. Luck has been shitting on us, especially me, for a long time now and does he really think this time will be any different? No, I hardly believe it will. Kaoru will get sentenced for those ten years and then I just… I just don’t know what I am going to do…
I sincerely don’t know how I should suffer through that. Find a job and just go on with my life? But what life are we talking about if Kaoru will be locked away because of me? What life can I have if the only one I truly deeply care about will be taken away from me? For such a long time?
Who would come out of there after ten years? Would Kaoru even be the same? Would we even manage to stick together the pieces left of what we had many years ago?
If it’d be two years or just a couple of more, it would be bearable, we would manage somehow, as hard as it would be. But ten years… is a very… very… very… very long time to spend alone.
“Shit, Kaoru, you stupid, stupid prick…”
I don’t believe he’s going to get it easy and get away just like that, without being sent to prison. It would be too easy. Too impossible. Too good to be true.
He said he’d want me even after fifty years in prison and I trust him – he sincerely believes in what he’s telling me. But he doesn’t know one thing – he doesn’t know what he’d become after ten years in that place, among killers and sadists, and rapists, and thieves. He doesn’t know how it would change him. So he doesn’t know how that altered and changed Kaoru would behave after finally being out of there.
And even if I know that he means it with all his heart, I cannot trust him. Because he can’t even rely on himself. A convict Kaoru is not obliged to keep a promise of an ex-musician Kaoru, Kyo’s lover, kind and wonderful man that I know now.
A ring at the door arouses me from my thoughts unexpectedly and I just stare at that direction for a moment. I wasn’t waiting for anybody. But it’s Saturday, so perhaps someone’s visiting again.
I wish it was Ru-chan. I haven’t seen him after that time we met. I’ve texted him to tell him I was alright, but I didn’t want to talk to him right then. He answered me back by saying how happy he was that I was OK and he said that he hopes Kaoru will be OK as well. He also said I can ask him whatever I need. He’s keen to help me. But I wasn’t up for meeting anyone immediately after what had happened. And in a way I’m still not in a mood for that.
The doorbell rings again and I stand up, a sigh leaving my lips. I guess I’ll have to get that.
“Shinya?” I stare at my friend at the doorstep, a bit surprised to see him here.
“Hey, Kyo. Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
I step back and let him inside. He smiles at me and hands me a box.
“My wife baked these. She was trying a new recipe and as I was going to visit you, she handed them to me and said to give you her best regards.”
“Thanks.”
I take the box and we go to the living-room. I should ask him if he wants anything, but I don’t really want to go to the kitchen again.
“I don’t really have too much time, I just wanted to stop by for a few minutes to see how you were holding up.”
I shrug a bit. What can I say?
“I think I’m slowly going crazy.”
Shinya stares at me for a moment, perhaps thinking if I was joking or not.
“I heard that Kaoru is going to go for a complete acquittal.”
I snarl unintentionally. It just slipped out from my lips.
“He’s going for ten years in jail instead of maximum four.”
Shinya keeps silent for a moment, looking at me.
“You know that there’s a big chance of him being completely cleared of all the charges?”
“Yeah, completely cleared my ass! With that shitty state lawyer?”
“You really think so?”
“But what should I think, Shinya?” I can’t help but hear my voice rising and I just can’t stop it. I get so frustrated only thinking about it. “Do you think they will just let him go so easy? He should have gone for the general verdict! In the worst case, he’d have gotten two or slightly more years and that’s that! But no, he wanted to be a perfectionist and go for the impossible! Well it’s just not going to happen!”
Shinya stares at me for a moment.
“Kyo, I can understand that you’re scared. But Kaoru needs your support. I’ve been to visit him today. He’s so down. I could see that it’s so hard for him that you don’t support him in this.”
“How can I, Shinya? How can I, when he’s going to be the reason for his own downfall?”
“He might not. He said he talked very thoroughly with the lawyer and the lawyer is convinced that Kaoru’s case is not very complicated at all. And with your testimony there is a very high percent of chance of Kaoru getting out of there completely cleared of all his charges.”
Shinya hesitates for a moment, looking at me intently.
“You are going to testify, aren’t you?”
I nod.
“But Kaoru said they will need you to tell them about what happened to you during the time that you were gone…”
“I know…”
And I hate it. Kaoru is the only one who knows about that. And now I’ll have to tell it all to tens of random people in public. This is… this is going to be brutal and humiliating, but…
“I’ll do all that is required from me as long as it only helps Kaoru.”
Of that I have no doubt. I didn’t even hesitate promising this to his lawyer. Kaoru did much more for my sake.
“But I don’t believe that it’ll be enough.”
“Kyo” Shinya shifts closer to me and I glance up for a moment, but I cannot look him in the eyes. “Kyo, when you were found back then, you were… it was as if it wasn’t you after all. And I don’t know if anybody told you this before, but… frankly, nobody believed you were going to get well.”
I look up at him, surprised. No, nobody really talked to me about things like that.
“I’m ashamed to admit, but even I, while looking at you back then after you were treated by professionals for months, couldn’t see any improvement and didn’t even expect you getting well anymore. Nobody had any hope. We were at least glad you were back with us, we knew that you weren’t cold or starved or hurt anymore and that was that.
But not Kaoru. Kaoru was the only one who believed you could be healed. He was obsessed with that thought! He was the only one who, against all logic, believed you would come back to us fully. And he sacrificed all he had for that belief.
I know he did. I was there to see it all. To see how Kaoru gave up on everything just to be with you and help you.”
I lower my head unable to meet his eyes anymore.
“I think, Kyo, that now, even if you don’t really believe yourself, you should close your eyes for any doubts in your way and just support him. Just believe in him. Like he believed in you. Kaoru needs that.”
I nod. I know Shinya is right. I just find it hard to let go and let Kaoru decide on this.
“I’m just afraid to lose him…” I mutter.
I hear Shinya sigh.
“I wish all the best for both of you. But I really do believe it will work out just fine. Don’t worry so much Kyo, OK?”
I nod slightly just to make Shinya feel less worried.
“I’ve heard the trial is going to be a closed one” Shinya says.
“Yeah, thankfully. Otherwise I don’t know how I would manage to tell all that shit in front of tens of bystanders. It’s enough that my parents are going to participate.”
“Why would they?”
“Well, I’m in the trial on the aggrieved party and also as the main witness. So my parents are going to shortly testify about my condition when I was just found.”
“Can’t you tell them not to? Or would that make a big difference for the case?”
I shrug.
“I don’t know… But I really am the least inclined to start another major fight with them. I know my mother is not going to yield and my farther will want to accompany her.”
“Isn’t your farther not talking to you?”
“He is… But I kind of didn’t really object to them coming because maybe… maybe he’ll start talking to me after realizing I was almost kidnapped again…”
“So your mother visited you already?”
“Yeah… She was as annoying as ever. Stayed for the whole weekend and tailed me everywhere. As if I could go missing the moment she turned her back on me. Didn’t mention Kaoru not even once.”
“Hmm…”
“I just… all of this is so frustrating… I wish it all would just get sorted out sooner. I want to get back to my life with Kaoru in it.”
“You will.”
I wish I was as optimistic as Shinya. But of one thing Shinya is right – I have to support Kaoru now as much as I hate his decision. After all, if all goes down the hill at the trial Kaoru will face the consequences. So he has a right to decide for things that will affect his own life.
“Who else is going to the trial?”
“Kaoru’s parents, of course. And that fuckers… that piece of shit’s family.”
“O-oh?”
Shinya looks really surprised for a moment. It’s a pity I cannot get amused at his facial expression, because the topic is nothing to laugh about.
“There was nothing in the newspapers about that” he finally utters.
“Well, there isn’t because nobody can reveal any details until the trial is finished. But I got to know all the ‘exciting’ news from Kaoru’s lawyer.”
“S-so, his family? He had a family?”
“Believe me, Shin, I would have loved to hear nothing whatsoever about that fuck. But yet again it was not for me to decide.”
“So… who was he?”
I snort. I really hate where this conversation is going.
“A sick in his head piece of shit that’s what he was! I don’t fucking care about him or his sweet little grieving family! They are coming in hopes of seeing Kaoru get convicted!”
I get so pissed off that I find myself standing, my hands clenched into fists, anger just seeming not to fully find it’s way out of my system.
“I’m sorry, Kyo, I was just curious…” Shinya looks cautiously at me and I immediately regret my outburst. I sit down, my shoulders slumping. I just put my head in my hands and take a deep breath.
“He was a surgeon. A well respected one. Had a big nice house with a lovely spacious basement and a little barn of his own just right beside the house. Old parents living in other town and an older sister, a dentist. The lawyer said they still don’t believe he was the one who kidnapped me. According to them, he was a harmless lovely person.”
I snort, contempt for the fucker rising again in my chest.
“He was so sick in his head, but nobody noticed! He was obsessed with me! Sickly obsessed and delusional! Couldn’t really sometimes distinguish reality from his fantasies! I have a hard time believing nobody from his fucking lovely family or his coworkers noticed anything was wrong with him!”
Shinya keeps silent, still shocked at hearing all of that.
“Can you even imagine how much I do not want to see any of his stupid fucked-up grieving family?! How do you think I will have to sit there and listen to their accusations to Kaoru for killing their wonderful son and brother?! To listen how that piece of shit didn’t deserve to be killed? How there are people who actually love him?!”
Shinya looks at me and I see so much pity in his eyes that I just can’t stand it. I turn away, my eyes sting, but I refuse to let the tears fall. There is no point in crying. I’m done with that.
“I’m really sorry, Kyo…” Shinya’s voice is barely above a whisper, but I can still hear it. I nod, letting him see that I understand.
“I’ll somehow live through that trial, I’d go to tens of trials like that if it meant freedom to Kaoru. So I just… I try not to think about it, you know? I’ll just… deal with it when the time comes…”
I feel Shinya’s hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently, trying to pass some of his compassion in this way.
“I actually came here with an offer to you” Shinya says after some moments of silence. I glance at him a little curiously. “It’s nothing special. Me and my wife are going to visit her parents and thought we could take you along. They live in Chiba. It’s nothing special, but at least you’d get out for the weekend. And as we’re not going to stick with her parents 24/7, but go out, you could really go along with us. At least Kaoru approved of this idea.”
I sigh. Of course Kaoru would approve. But actually, I myself would quite like that.
“The upcoming weekend?”
Shinya nods.
“Yeah, I think I’d like to tag along. I really hate sitting all alone at home and just waiting for the trial. It drives me nuts!”
“Well I’m really glad you’re coming” Shinya smiles. “And you know, if you just want to, you can always come to have dinner at my place. I can only imagine how tough it is for you right now, and if it would only help, you are always welcome to spend evenings with me and my wife.”
“Thanks, Shin.”
Suddenly I remember one more thing.
“Kaoru’s lawyer said he might want to have you or Toshiya and Die testifying as well.”
“Why?”
“Just a short testimony on the events of the night when I went missing and then after I was found. You three and Kaoru were the only ones outside family who got to see me.”
“Oh… well, if he only needs that and it’ll help Kaoru, then I’ll do it. I think Toshiya and Die will say the same.”
“Thanks.”
“Kaoru didn’t mention this to me though…”
“Oh, I just talked to his lawyer on the phone some hour or more ago before you came, so he couldn’t have possibly told Kaoru yet. He wanted to discuss some details of the trial and mentioned that he thinks the three of you might also be useful…”
“I see…”
We fall silent, for a moment both deep in thought. Soon Shinya goes away, leaving me alone yet again. He has things to do and as much as I would like to have company, I don’t object. He has a family and more important things to do than visiting me.
With Shin gone I again have nothing to do. I glance at the clock. It’s almost ten. So maybe I should try to go to sleep.
I stand up and go to prepare for the night. I check all the windows and doors – they all must be locked. The kitchen windows were all closed a long time ago, so I don’t have to go there. Thank God.
When the ground floor is done, I go upstairs. Even if I know all windows are closed and locked, I still check them to be absolutely sure it’s safe. Then I can finally take my shower.
It feels refreshing and good after I do that. I almost feel OK after showering and putting on my pajama pants and a shirt. But as soon as I lie down and turn off the lights, the feeling is gone.
It’s too silent, too dark and too empty in the bedroom.
I lay there, my eyes wide open, listening to any sound I can hear. Sometimes it seems that I can hear him in the kitchen. I know he’s not there, but… why the fuck then I can hear him walking around in the kitchen?
I cover my head with the blanket to keep all the sounds away and try to force myself to sleep.
Time goes by slowly, but sleep doesn’t come. I feel wide awake. Yet again.
This is how the nights are like for me now. They’re just the continuation of the days. Only that the darkness does fall down on earth, otherwise it’s all the same to me.
I sigh in frustration and sit up in bed, turn on the light and take my cell phone.
Before I dial, I manage to see the time on my cell phone’s screen: 00:38. I hesitate only for a second and then dial.
I hope by some miracle Ru-chan is not asleep.
***
“Shit, I’m so drunk.”
“Yeah, you are, but it was fun, wasn’t it?”
“It was…”
I manage to fall on the bed without any accidents and close my eyes for a moment. If they’re open, the room around me starts to blur and spin. I don’t remember the last time I got drunk. Kaoru was a control freak when it came to alcohol and I never got any when he was around.
“What’s the time?” I manage to force the words out.
“It’s almost seven in the morning, Kyo.”
I feel drained, but in a good way.
Suddenly I feel the bed shift as apparently Ru-chan sits down beside me. Either he can hold his alcohol much better than me or I simply didn’t see that he didn’t really have any at all tonight.
“I’ll be so sick tomorrow.”
“Don’t complain, Kyo” he laughs. “At least you’ll have something else to worry about for the day.”
“Yeah…”
We keep silent for too long that I catch myself almost falling asleep still with my clothes on. I force my eyes open and look at him.
“Well, I guess I should be going” he says hesitantly, noticing my look.
“You can stay” I don’t even think before saying that. “We’ll sleep in tomorrow and have breakfast together. It’ll be good to have someone around in the house for once.”
He smiles slightly and nods.
“Will you borrow me some pajamas of yours?”
“Sure, they’re somewhere in the wardrobe” I point to the direction where the wardrobe should be standing, but make no move to go look for him or change myself. I’m all spent.
Ru-chan stands up and I hear him walk over to my wardrobe and shuffle through the clothes on the shelves. Then he leaves for the bathroom to change. He feels like at home here and I’m happy that I don’t need to be the host and take care of my guest. He’s much more than just a guest, after all.
-
-
-
I feel myself being shaken by somebody and I open my eyes. I guess I managed to fall asleep while he was in the bathroom.
“You need to undress, Kyo.”
I nod tiredly and make myself sit. With some difficulty I undress. My arms seem not to listen and my eyes seem to double the things that I see, so undressing becomes a challenge. I furrow my eyebrows and squint my eyes while I try to see where the fuck the fly of my pants is.
I hear Ru-chan laugh and I glare at him.
“You’re a funny drunk, Kyo!” he laughs. “You’ve always been so adorable when you got drunk!”
I’m too preoccupied with trying to get my pants off me that I ignore his irritating comment.
“Of course, then you were so much younger” he adds silently, now sounding serious all of a sudden.
“Whatever” I mumble, finally pulling the pants down and throwing them somewhere on the floor. “I’m off to sleep now.”
I lie under the blanket on my side of the bed. For a moment, when I look at the place where Kaoru used to lie, I suddenly don’t want anybody else to occupy his place. But then I just force the feeling away. The place might remain empty for many years to come, so I better started getting used to it.
Ru-chan hesitates for a moment and then lies down next to me and turns off the light.
“Did you lock the door?” I ask, as I can’t remember how we actually entered the house. All I can remember for now is that there was a cab and then there was my bed.
“I did. Don’t worry.”
“OK.”
I close my eyes and sink deeper into the cool bedding. It never felt so comfortable and so heavenly before.
“Kyo?” Ru-chan’s voice suddenly brings me back to reality.
“Yeah?” I manage to force the words out.
“Is it really OK for me to be sleeping over at your place?”
“Mhhh…”
“But what about Kaoru-san?”
I grit my teeth for a moment, trying to suppress all the bitter comments that just itch to get through.
“Well he’s not here, is he? It’s barely possible for him to object.”
Ru-chan keeps silent for a moment and I can feel how his body stiffens next to mine.
“Have you told him what happened between us the first time we met?”
Is he trying to get information out of me knowing that most probably I won’t remember any of that the next day?
“I did” I confess. “And I am going to tell him that I had a great night out with you tonight. But that doesn’t change anything. He trusts me. So it’s totally fine.”
“Totally fine…”
I try to make myself stay awake for a few more minutes, because I have a feeling he’s not done with the questioning yet.
Ru-chan keeps silent for some time, but then he just makes himself comfortable in the bed.
“I’m happy that you called me. You should do that more often, we barely see each other.”
“Mmm…” I mumble, trying hard to stay awake for him.
“I miss you, Kyo. And…”
He hesitates for a fraction, but when he speaks, his voice sounds stronger and more assured than ever.
“I really hope Kaoru will end up just fine. I’ll go pray for him in the shrine. I want you to be happy, Kyo.”
There’s nothing in my head at the moment that would seem to be right to say. I shift closer to him and finally let myself relax.
“Thanks…” I whisper.
What else is there to add?
And even if there was, my mind full of booze right now finally made me shun everything out and fall asleep the next moment.
And sleep never was so blissful – without any nightmares.
Deep and dreamless sleep.
TBC

Not my longest chapter this time >_< But it had to be this way XD
And if you’ve noticed, I’ve finally decided on the number of chapter and it’s going to be 11 after all XD I decided to let myself get carried away and have 11 instead of 10 XD I want to relax while writing the last parts without rushing through them :)))
I know this chapter might seem like a let down, but that’s about the exact amount of information and events that I wanted to have in it :)))
Also, I wanted to say that I didn’t make up the conditions of Kaoru’s verdict. I’ve heard of a real case where the person chose the option of being completely cleared of all charges or being sent to jail for lots of years. So it’s not so far-fetched as you might have thought :P
I guess that’s all I wanted to say XD
Comments make me sooo happy XD But I guess you know that by now XD
^^
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

White Nights