Until You Lose Your Breath II | By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this. |
Thoughts are indicated with **
CHAPTER 8
Die walked through the streets aimlessly not seeing anything. He didn’t know how long he could take all this punishment. He really wanted to take Shinya, to caress him. But Shinya was stubborn and was doing just fine without sex.
Die sighted. Only five months have passed. Seven more months are left.
* Oh God, how will I be able to endure it when I have to sleep by his side every night? Maybe I should move out until those seven months ended?
Nah… That wouldn’t be good… And I don’t want to leave Shin-chan on his own for so long.
But I can’t take it any more! What should I do? What… *
But his thoughts were interrupted as somebody bumped into him.
-Hey, watch it! –Die said and looked at the person. It was Miyavi.
-Oh, it’s you.
-Die? Hi!
Miyavi smiled at Die.
-How are you?
-Fine, -grunted Die. –Why are you alone?
-Totchi went to visit his parents and he’ll be back only tomorrow. What about Shinya?
-Actually, it’s the same. He went to visit his parents.
-Wow, what a coincidence! –Miyavi laughed. –We’re both left by our lovers! So where are you going?
-Nowhere…
-Really? I’m going to meet my old friend Sakito and have a few beers. You can join us if you want!
Die considered this for a moment but decided that drinking was drinking. It didn’t really matter who your companions were. Even if one of them was a freakin’ pop imbecile.
-Ok, -he agreed and followed Miyavi who was already telling him some story from his wonderful life of a pop star. Miyavi’s chatter sounded to him so much like Toshiya’s one. Die wondered how on earth they got along when they both needed somebody to listen to their constant chattering.
***
Few beers were just a worming up. As Die opened his eyes and rubbed his throbbing head, he wondered if he should have stopped drinking after the third bottle of vodka.
He closed his eyes again but the discomfort was still there. He felt like shit. It was so long that he had a hangover so fierce like this one. Actually, he stopped drinking so much after he started dating Shinya.
Shinya!
Die suddenly sat up in bed. It took some time to fully open his eyes because the sun hurt them a lot. When he was finally able to see clearly, he understood with horror that he didn’t know the room he was in. He has never been here before.
Suddenly somebody stirred next to him in bed. Die turned his head and saw Miyavi sleeping.
At first Die couldn’t even think why on earth that pop freak was sleeping in the same bed as he was. But then Die remembered drinking and calmed down.
So he drank a lot and ended at Miyavi’s home. But the last thing he remembered was sitting in a bar. He didn’t think he called Shinya and warned him that he might be late. Shinya must be sick worried already!
Die looked around for his cell phone. He saw it on the floor and got up to take it. There were twenty four missed calls from Shinya. Die groaned and closed his eyes.
But suddenly he opened them again. He was completely naked. He braced himself and looked now attentively at Miyavi. As he couldn’t see anything, he came closer to bed and lifted the blankets. Miyavi was also naked.
Die recoiled from bed in shock. He couldn’t have done it! No…
As he was standing there, naked and with the phone in his hands, Miyavi’s eyes opened. At first Miyavi looked as if he didn’t know if the man standing in front of him was real or not. But slowly his face changed to one full of fear and horror.
-Oh fuck! –Miyavi swore. –Fuck!
He got up from the bed, but stopped. Looked at Die, then at himself, then sat again.
-Fuck… How could this happen?
Die stood there still in shock. He couldn’t understand how he could ever do that. And with that pop freak of all the people! How could he ever betray his Shinya like that?
-I… -Miyavi started but fell silent.
-We don’t need to tell anybody! –Die suddenly said. –It was a mistake! And what is more, nobody knows about it!
-Sakito knows, -Miyavi muttered. –We’re at his place.
-But… We’ll ask him not to tell anybody! He seems like a nice guy!
Miyavi shook his head.
-I made a promise. I made a promise to Toshiya.
Die looked at Miyavi not liking the way the conversation was heading.
-I promised him to tell if I cheat on him at least once and leave straight away…
-But… But why? Don’t tell him anything!
-I can’t. I love him… But it seems that I’m just incapable to be faithful to him. Maybe I’m incapable of being faithful to anybody. Perhaps he’d be better with somebody else…
-But… -Die was horrified now. He couldn’t believe this was happening.
-I’m sorry, -Miyavi said and looked at Die. –But I’m going to tell Toshiya everything.
-Then don’t tell him it was me! Tell him it was Sakito!
-If he’ll ask me, I won’t lie to him. Sorry… But it can’t be any other way…
Die just couldn’t take it all any more. He sat on the bed next to Miyavi. The full understanding of the situation was finally dawning to him.
Then he slowly stood up and got dressed. Miyavi also started dressing. He didn’t seem to want to wait for Sakito to wake up. Not saying anything more to Miyavi, Die went out. On his way he saw Sakito sleeping on the couch. Die sighted and left the apartment. He knew he had to tell Shinya everything. He didn’t want to risk and wait until Toshiya shows up to beat the shit out of him. At least he can tell Shinya the truth himself and not leave him to know it from somebody else.
Die had never felt so horrible in his life. With every step he took he knew he was getting closer to pain and sadness. And it was his entire fault.
***
With an aching heart Die stepped into the apartment and closed the door. Puppy was already here, waggling its tail happily and barking. Die shoved it aside gently with his leg and took off his shoes. Shinya came into the corridor looking worried.
-Where’ve you been? –he asked. –I was sick worried! I waited here all night thinking that something bad happened to you!
Die rubbed his temples feeling tired and frustrated.
-Oh, so you were drinking? –Shinya stated the obvious. –And here I was worrying about you like a fool! I even called the hospitals!!!
Die looked down and didn’t say anything. He knew he had to tell Shinya everything. He would know it one way or the other, but Die didn’t want him to know it from somebody else. But he just didn’t know how he should say it. He knew there was no way he could approve himself this time.
Die went to the living room and Shinya followed him waiting for an explanation. But Die had to stop because of what he saw in the living room. The table was laid and there was a nice dinner for two prepared with a rose in the vase in the middle of it. Shinya wanted to do him a surprise yesterday.
Die suddenly felt sick and ran to the toilet to throw up. When his stomach was finally empty, he cleaned his mouth and took the towel that Shinya was holding for him in his arms. Die still couldn’t brace himself to look at Shinya. He dried his face and sighted. Shinya just waited patiently for him to speak.
Die moved pass him and went to the bedroom to sit comfortably and then talk. But he immediately stopped at what he saw. The bed was covered with red rose petals, there were several big candles near it and the record player was moved into the bedroom too. The curtains were closed making the room sink in pleasant dusk.
Die heard that Shinya came in too so he finally looked at his lover. Shinya smiled warmly.
-I wanted to do you a surprise yesterday, -Shinya said slightly blushing. –I changed my mind and wanted to finally make love to you. I was too harsh on you, so I thought that five months will be enough. You did well all this time and I didn’t want to torture you anymore.
-Shin-chan…
Die felt that tears started to run down his cheeks. Shinya immediately came close to him and brushed them away with his fingers.
-It’s ok, Die, -he whispered. –I’m not angry. I was just worried because you were supposed to come home but you didn’t. But I’m not angry any more. It’s ok.
-No… it’s not…
Die took Shinya’s arm in his own and kissed Shinya’s palm lightly.
-Shin-chan… I…
-You don’t need to say anything, -Shinya interrupted him. –I understand that you just got drunk and didn’t manage to come home on your own because I was not there to drive you home. Am I right?
-Yes, but… there’s something more this time…
-What do you mean? Something happened?
Shinya rubbed Die’s cheek with his hand gently.
-Shin-chan…
Die just couldn’t brace himself to tell him. Shinya looked at him with eyes full of love and understanding. How could he ever betray him like that?
But he had to tell. There was no way that Toshiya would keep it a secret. He would probably come here to beat the shit out of Die for taking away his pop-freak.
-Shinya, I cheated on you, -Die uttered it finally.
He felt Shinya freeze and look at him intensively.
-What do you mean? –he asked and Die’s heart clenched at hearing how Shinya’s voice trembled.
-I slept with Miyavi.
-What do you mean ‘slept’?
-We had sex.
Die raised his head and looked at Shinya. Shinya just stood looking shocked. He took his hand out of Die’s and stepped back.
-Are you joking? –he asked silently. –Is this some sick way of hurting me and getting your revenge for those five months?
Die shook his head slowly.
-But what do you mean ‘had sex’?! You hate the guy! You are supposed to love me!
-I love you, Shin-chan! I do with all my heart!
-Then what do you mean by saying you slept with Miyavi?!
-I’m sorry, Shin-chan! I don’t know why I did that! I really don’t even like him! I love you and I never wanted to hurt you!
-You... you fucked with him! –it seemed that finally it really dawned to Shinya. He stepped back even more and looked at Die with tears in his eyes.
-It never meant anything to you… -Shinya said his voice trembling. –I was just a convenient fuck, wasn’t I? A stupid guy who would forgive anything and let you fuck him whenever you want!
-No, Shin-chan…
Die wanted to come closer but Shinya jumped back.
-Don’t touch me!!! –Shinya screamed. –Are you happy now?! You hurt me more than anybody in all my life! I thought you really loved me!
-But I love you, Shinya! I love you! I really love you!
-Don’t lie to me!!! –Shinya screamed hysterically. He was already crying and almost choking on his tears. –Don’t fucking lie to me! If you loved me, you would have never done this!!
-Shinya, please…
Die fell on his knees and looked up at Shinya.
-Please, Shin-chan, forgive me… I love you… please…
Shinya shook his head and steeped aside even more.
-Go away, Daisuke, -he said with a trembling voice. –Go away!
-Please, Shin-chan…
-No! Get out of my house!!!
Shinya’s body started to shake violently from crying, his hands trembled and he looked like he would faint any minute.
-GET OUT!
Die stood up and headed for the door slowly. Shinya stepped aside to make him room. Die stopped when he came close to Shinya but the drummer looked at him with such pain and grudge in his eyes that Die didn’t force himself to say anything. He put on his shoes and went to the corridor. The doors were immediately closed and locked. Then Die heard something that made his heart squeeze in pain. He heard Shinya weep bitter tears so loud that he could hear it even through the closed doors.
TBC
Comments? Anyone? ^-^
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