do you love me? | By : sangohoushi Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Nightmare Views: 839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: i do not own the boys of naitomea, slavery is illegal, i dont know then(fortunately for them) and i make no money off this FICTIONAL story |
“Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me...”
The whispered lyrics played back at them as the song began and already Ni~ya was sweating. Damn. Those damn words haunted him even in his sleep and he knew that one day he would snap. He’d been there when Sakito had written the lyrics and he knew he was being paranoid, but he thought the guitarist had been asking him that question. His own mind shut him down, saying that such an idea was preposterous. But although it was Hitsugi who whispered those words, he kept getting glances from Sakito…unexplainable, unreadable glances that made the bassist look at the skinny brunette questioningly but he never got a response.
‘No.’ he thought shaking his head, trying to concentrate on his fingers playing the corrext strings of his bass. Surely it was just his imagination.
‘Wishful thinking.’ Another part of him supplied.
‘Lack of sex.’ Yet another voice said.
Ni~ya sighed.
Great, he had multiple personality disorder and they all hated him.
Yes. Finally! They were almost ending the song. It felt like an eternity away, but Sakito was already singing his part and Yomi’s voice was getting more intense. The climax of the song approached and Ni~ya decided to forget his mental ramblings and put his all into the song. And then the dreaded words came again.
‘Do you love me? Do you love me?’
And Ni~ya tried to ignore them.
‘Do you love me? Do you?!’
Oh gods, yes. He’d made it. His palms were sweaty and his breathing was a little faster and he could feel his heart about to burst out of his chest. His pupils must be dilated, he thought, having seen medical shows on T.V and trying to diagnose himself. Like people who say they have A.D.D without going to the hospital. On the outside, however, Ni~ya looked only a little less calm than usual. Only if you squinted could you see his hands tremble slightly as he reached for his cigarettes. One puff and Ni~ya was completely calm again, the nicotine slowing down his entire system and his thinking process. He took another drag and let it out slowly, his muscles turning to jelly.
He finished his cigarette and went to stretch. Practice had been like this for him ever since that stupid song was made. So okay, it wasn’t a stupid song, but it was its fault that he was like this. He sighed again, now a hundred percent sure there was something horribly wrong with him—he was blaming inanimate things on his woes. His arms were still raised above his head as he stretched his tall body, his ankles and backing making loud ‘pop’ sounds as they popped back into their sockets.
He saw Sakito come over and wince at the loud sound of his bones, but stare appreciatively at the smooth expanse of flesh that was revealed as Ni~ya’s shirt rode up and immediately Ni~ya’s back tensed, his calm and relaxation going out the window.
“Good work.” Sakito said but Ni~ya hadn’t heard a thing, his heart beat too loud in his ears.
“Huh?” he asked unintelligently, slowly lowering his arms and hiding his skin from the guitarist and he could have sworn the brunette looked disappointed.
Sakito began tidying up his belongings, his latest guitar in a new case. He began humming “White Room”, making Ni~ya uncomfortable and all of a sudden it was as though he wasn’t himself. His mind flashed him all the little things; little nuances, little quirks, details that no one else knew, when it was just the two of them, and now the words bubbled up and he felt he would drown. He took a deep breath, an inhaled gasp, alerting Sakito of his friend and the bassist’s glazed eyes as he breathed a little faster.
“Hey. Hey.” Sakito said, snapping his fingers in front of Ni~ya’s face. The bassist blinked, snapping out of his daze.
“Are you alright?” Sakito asked, worry filling his eyes.
Ni~ya jerked from the guitarist as though he’d been burnt and a hurt look flashed through his face before he composed himself, straightening before brushing it off and continued singing the song, trying his best to ignore Ni~ya.
“Do you love me?...”
“Yes.” And the way he said it made Sakito turn to him. He sounded resigned.
Tired.
“What?” Sakito asked perplexed, having stopped shuffling papers into a neat pile.
“I do. And don’t hate me. Its not my fault. But no matter how many times I’ve told myself no, I cant help the fact that I do.”
Sakito was getting more and more confused the longer the bassist talked and hope reared its shiny head but he crushed it, knowing that it only led to disappointment. No, he wouldn’t hope. Ni~ya would make himself clear, Sakito was sure.
“Uh...what are you talking about?” And he jerked back when Ni~ya stepped forward abruptly, looking almost menacing. Ni~ya’s hands fisted in his blonde locks and he pulled on his hair, his frustration that intense. How was he to explain something that made no sense?!
“That damn song! Every time I hear those lyrics I go a little crazy with wanting to tell you.”
“Lyrics? For “White Room”?...What about them?” Sakito thought getting more confused the longer Ni~ya spoke.
“Arg! This is too confusing!” Ni~ya said exasperated, pulling at his choppy locks, feeling a few individual hairs coming out. He sighed and let his dyed hair out of his tight grasp, his shoulders sagging with his exhale.
“I’ll just tell you.”
And Sakito waited with abated breath as Ni~ya said those loaded words. A full two minutes of tense silence filled the room. Sakito held his breath unconsciously but he felt himself grow lightheaded and as he took in a deep breath, Ni~ya mirrored his actions and the words spilled out too fast for Sakito to understand them.
“Uh...what?” The guitarist asked, a little out of it, but not missing Ni~ya’s tense pose; his shoulders squared and locked in place, hands fisted rigidly at his sides, eyes shut tight in an attempt to psychologically shield himself from Sakito’s outburst and disgust at his words. But he froze for another reason when Sakito asked him ‘what’. What? He opened his eyes and looked the guitarist in the eye, standing tall and straight.
“I am in love with you.” He repeated slowly.
Surely the guitarist had no problem dearing that. But his heart stopped beating—or was it that his blood had frozen?
. . .
Sakito said nothing.
Oh god, Ni~ya felt himself grow lightheaded. He felt like he had cotton in his ears and mouth. He was flat-lining.
. . .
Sakito blinked.
A shiver coursed through Ni~ya’s body.
. . .
Sakito’s mouth opened slightly. An expel of breath.
He hates me. He’s going to ignore me. He’d going to make me quit the band. He’ll never talk to me again. And the last was what hurt the most.
. . .
Sakito smiled.
And Ni~ya could feel his heart beat again, only this time it was going a mile a minute at that shy, shy smile and the pretty pink blush that spread over the guitarist’s cheeks, as the shorter man looked away. A shy schoolgirl, Ni~ya immediately thought and he wanted to smile, but his body was still frozen.
“I...uh...like you too. A lot.” Sakito said and his blush darkened and he nervously tucked a stray lock behind his ear.
Ni~ya’s face felt like it would split in two, his wide goofy grin showing too many teeth. Snapping out of his euphoria, he continued grinning like an idiot and asked a question that was of no importance before, but now held a new meaning.
“Wanna hang out somewhere?”
OWARI
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
another fic that wouldnt leave me alone. i wonder when i'll get over this insane...stupid...whadjamacallit...so that i can continue with my naruto stories. this isnt helping!!! all this attention on the naito boys(tho i dont regret it nor am i complaining...too much) is taking away from two very annoyed loyal readers of my other stories...
i just hope i can get this over with quickly...
but alas, i have another story that also needs to be finished. a niya/hitsugi one (no, not like coincidence) that i need to finish and type up
i apologize for the rant
please review with ur thoughts--u dont need to b a member to review
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