Everything He Ever Wanted

BY : sango_houshi
Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Nightmare
Dragon prints: 1023
Disclaimer: I do not own naitomea nor do i know them and i make no money off this fanfiction...also...it should be clear, but this is a work of fiction...


i know...it was alot to ask of the reviewing, but a girl can dream...

alas, we've come (no pun intended) to the end of this story... one filled with tears (of pain and pleasure), laughs (sarcastic and otherwise) and love(let the fluffiness ensue). this is the captivating end where---

*CRASH* (chibi sango kicks melodramatic sango in the face)

CHIBI sango: so anyways...yea, as shakespeare over there was sayin, this is the last chapter of the smut-filled fic you guys so hornily read

Yomi: i dont think hornily is a word

CHIBI Sango: yea...u'd know all about sexual terms, wouldnt u runt?

Ruka: who you callin a runt?

CHIBI Sango *glare* who wants ta know *squares off with ruka*

Hitsugi: now, now...please dont fight...

Ni~ya: im betting 20 on the angry chibi

Sakito: really? but ruka-san is so much bigger

Ni~ya: well, yea...but...she's the author and can make ruka lose, so if he pisses her off, she'l send her
chibi after him

Sakito: ah...and i always wondered why i loved you....

Ni~Ya: chotto!! whats that supposed to mean?!

Sakito: nothin.....>_>

Hitsugi: can we please just continue on with the fic...?

Sango: fine, fine....

on with the fic!


Hitsugi jolted awake. Sunset jumped away from him as Light pawed his face. He sat up with a loud groan, his whole left side sore with cramped muscles. He had fallen asleep on the couch. Light continued to paw at his face and he realized that a scratch from his sharp nails had awoken him. He looked out the window and blinked blearily out the window. Hmm…he hadn’t slept long then, it was still dark out. He got up at Light’s incessant and quite pitiful meowing and went to the kitchen. The timer from the microwave blared 2:30. Hmm…two hours sleep. Not enough time.

He went to feed his cats, giving Sunset her own food. On his way to his room he went to check his cell phone for any calls. His eyes bulged as he noticed the time, date and the number of missed calls. It was Monday. It was 2:30 AM. There were 7 missed calls and 4 new messages.

Oh god.

He hadn’t slept for 2 hours. He had slept 14 hours! There was one message from Sakito one from Ruka and two from Yomi. One more panicked than the previous. He slowly sat down on his bed, trying to re-orient himself. Once he got over the shock of having fallen asleep without knowing and waking 14 hours! later, he remembered the shocking life-altering decision he had made the night before. He knew what he had to do, knew that he couldn’t give himself time to think and that he had to act now, before he tried to change his own mind. He winced slightly at the time, but somehow knew that Ruka was still awake. He decided to trust his instinct and pressed the speed dial button for Ruka. The drummer picked up on the fourth ring, making the guitarist feel guilty that he may have woken the older man.

But the beautiful bored monotone that answered the phone sounded bored and sleepy—but it always sounded like that, so he felt less inclined to wallow in guilt.

“Hitsugi? Something wrong?” Ruka didn’t sound all that worried or alarmed, which helped relax Hitsugi—he had feared that they would be worried about him seeing as how he hadn’t spoken to anyone since last night…that huge night—a tenseness that he didn’t know he had seemed to leave his body.

“Ruka? Hey…you weren’t sleeping were you?” Hitsugi asked, chewing on a piercing worriedly.

“Nah, just a nap.” Ruka said, punctuating it with a stifled yawn, typical Ruka answer. Nothing seemed to be different, so why was he worrying so much? Was Ruka supposed to act any differently? Was it just sex for him like Yomi had said in the beginning? But then, why would he comfort him like he did? Was he just being a good friend? No—he didn’t want to think that. Knew it was foolish to hope it were otherwise, but it hurt even more to think that it was just sex for the drummer.

“Hello? Hitsugi. You still there?” Ruka asked, more alert.

“How do you feel about me?” Hitsugi’s eyes widened. Those words were never meant to leave his mouth.

A few seconds of tense silence passed and Hitsugi held his breath.

“This conversation is better held in person, Hitsugi.” Ruka said wisely.

“Was it just sex?” Hitsugi blurted out, a new wave of tears ready to flood him as a wave of panic crept up on him at the possibility of the answer being yes began to crawl its way into his heart, chocking him.

“No. it want just sex, Mitsuo. You should know better.” Hitsugi gasped at the sincerity of Ruka’s tone and at his real name spilling from the drummer’s lips, a sign of how serious things really were. The last sentence replayed in his mind and he couldn’t help the feeling of helplessness that crashed into him.

“But I don’t, Satoru. And I need to, or else this thing isn’t going to go away.” Hitsugi’s breath hitched as he held back tears and his voice broke, his words growing louder and more panicky.

“Calm down, I’m coming over.” With that he hung up the phone and Hitsugi was left cradling his cell phone to his ear the silence deafening.

Half an hour later a knock cacame on his door. With shaky legs he got up from his bed and made his way to open the door. Ruka stared down at him, his eyes intense; his brow furrowed in worry. They stared at each other in the doorway a tense minute.

“Are you gonna let me in?” Ruka asked after a while. Hitsugi blinked and shook his head as though to clear it while stepping aside to let the drummer in. Ruka stepped inside and removed his shoes all the while never taking his eyes off Hitsugi, who stared right back. Somehow, this seemed much more intense than the looks Ruka gave him in bed 2 nights ago. Now, it was only the two of them. A shiver ran down his spine and his eyes closed on their own accord as a slight gasp escaped his lips. He kept staring transfixed at Ruka’s lips, the unreasonable desire to kiss the drummer almost all consuming.

Ruka noticed and was mesmerized at the sight before him. Did Hitsugi really not know how fuckable he was?! However, instead of following his own desires to claim Hitsugi’s lips and pound into him, he followed his brain, which was slightly more rational than his nether regions. The guitarist was confused and needed answers rather than more confusion. After a few seconds, Hitsugi snapped out of his reverie and motioned Ruka into his living room, wanting to get answers and peace of mind.

Hitsugi’s eyes kept wandering, looking everywhere except at Ruka. The guitarist was nervous and he could tell that Ruka was going to make him start the conversation. The man could be annoyingly reserved and quiet.

“Ano…Ruka-san.” He began, the words were muffled as they were mumbled, he kept looking down, biting his bottom lip, a blush staining his cheeks; he was twiddling his thumbs. Much like Hinata from Naruto.

“I…I want to know if…if it wasn’t just sex. If I mean more to you than this one time thing. I mean…more than a friend.” He knew he sounded childish, but he didn’t know how else to express himself. He needed the answers, and the less confusion, the better. And Hitsugi hoped beyond hope that Ruka wanted him. The drummer stared shocked at the small guitarist. He knew that Hitsugi had been worried about this since before anything happened—Yomi had told him as much, but the guy looked as though he had been through hell worrying over this.

Ruka thought of the best way to handle this situation. He thought that Hitsugi didn’t need to be overwhelemed so much, so showing him physically wasn’t the best idea. That and he would probably think that Ruka did only want him for sex. Yet he didn’t seem to be getting through to him with words.

“Hitsugi…how do you feel about me?” He countered instead. To say that Hitsugi was surprised would be a huge understatement—that was the last thing he expected out of Ruka’s mouth.

“Would you pick me or Yomi?”

Hitsugi blinked.

And blinked. And blinked.

He was obviously hallucinating. Yet no matter how many times he did so, Ruka did not disappear—and neither did the bomb Ruka dropped on him with that question.

“I don’t want to choose.” the guitarist blurted out, his voice firm. Hey, if he was going to have hallucinations, he might as well tell them what he wanted.

But Ruka was real, and that arrogant smirk on his face was too. Ruka’s eyes twinkled with mirth—Hitsugi looked like a child.

“You can’t be spoiled, Hitsugi. You can’t have us both.” Ruka pointed out logically.

During the time of making the phone call and Ruka saying that he was spoiled, Hitsugi had been in a sad sort of trance. But now he knew that, no, Ruka was nota hallucination, and those words stung. He was hurt and he did the only thing he could do—he lashed out.

“Don’t you get it!?” Hitsugi demanded, his voice rising as his body jerked from his seat. He stood before Ruka with eyes blazing, hands fisted at his sides.

“I don’t want to choose! Dammit! I know I’m being selfish and spoiled-” he sneered at the word, “but I want you both.” He leaned over Ruka’s slouched body on the couch, his posture meant to be intimidating, but Ruka knew better.

“I want you and I want him. For myself. I don’t want to share you with anyone else.” Somehow, Hitsugi had ended straddling Ruka’s lap. His eyes were intense as they stared into the older man’s dark eyes, his cheeks were flushed and his breaths were coming in short pants.

Ruka stared at the man above him in astonishment. He’d never thought Hitsugi would be so…aggressive; desirable; needy; possessive. At that moment, Ruka wanted him more than his next breath. But of course, his mouth spoke before he could process what he was going to say.

“Possessive much?”

Hitsugi blinked, the shocked look on his face looking as though he’d been slapped. Ruka tried to mend his mistake.

“Uh…I mean…”

“You don’t want me that way, do you?” before Ruka could respond Hitsugi continued. “Yeah, who’d want a possessive freak like me?” He moved to get off Ruka, not knowing how he got there, but the drummer’s strong grip around his waist stopped him.

“Let me go, Ruka.” Hitsugi mumbled on the verge of tears. Ruka had pinned his arms to his side, so his thrashing was even more subdued.

“No.” The tall man responded, tightening his grip on the smaller man, as an invisible hand seemed to be squeezing his heart. Hitsugi looked so vulnerable and he had betrayed those emotions by being an ass.

“Let go.” Hitsugi repeated, his voice breaking as his struggles became half hearted.

“I can’t. Not now.” Ruka whispered, bringing his body closer to rest his head on Hitsugi’s shoulder. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you too. And I want you. All of you. And if that also means that Yomi is part of the package…even better.” He ended, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

Hitsugi stared at the back of his couch, the back of Ruka’s head in his line of sight. There was just no way. It was impossible. But…it wasn’t. Ruka had just professed his love for him. Sure, it wasn’t romantic—he hadn’t even been expecting those words from the drummer. But…it was just too surreal.

‘I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you too.’

Those words made his heart pound loudly in his chest and he was afraid it was going to burst free. And then came the other part.

It started out as a small smile. Then a light chuckle. The drummer began to worry.

“Hitsugi?” the drummer asked confusedly, raising his head to look at him, perplexed, only making the guitarist laugh harder.

“Is it something I said?” Now the confusion turned into worry. As his laughter subsided, he took a deep breath and tried to wriggle his arms free. After a short while, Ruka let him and he wrapped his arms around the drummers neck, in a loose hug.

“Only you would turn a confession of love into something lewd.” He said, lying his head on Ruka’s shoulder.

“But that’s why you love me, right?” The comment was meant in jest, but Hitsugi pulled back and softly placed his lips on Ruka’s.

“Yeah, that is why I love you.” He said when he pulled back. “You’re extremely sarcastic, are lazy to a fault and your dark humor is…unorthodox. But you’re a wonderful, talented, smart person and a great friend. And you’re great in bed.” He added almost as an after thought, but the smirk betrayed him and they both ended up chuckling.

“Gee, thanks.” Ruka said sardonically, making Hitsugi laugh harder.

“And that’s why I love you.” He repeated as he connected their lips once more.

After a few minutes of soft kisses and gentle caresses—nothing arduous like a few nights ago—Hitsugi felt completely at ease. This sense of safety and contentment quickly set his eyelids drooping. He was physically and emotionally exhausted. Ruka would have been insulted, but he knew what Hitsugi had gone through, and would ignore his hard on for now. However, there was a slightly more pressing matter that needed to be handled.

“Hitsugi, when will we tell Yomi?”

Half asleep, the guitarist couldn’t be bothered with minute details after everything that had happened. But something told him that everything would be okay. And Naitomea wasn’t going to change—their overall attitude at least. Their music wouldn’t be changed or damaged by their relationships—Yomi, Ni~ya, Sakito and Ruka had al promised. But that was in the future, they would get to it when they got there and they would take things one day at a time.

“Tomorrow.” The small guitarist mumbled before dozing off in Ruka’s arms. They’d tell Yomi tomorrow and their lives would be completely changed –for the better. Because something told him that Yomi had no objections…


so....in my last attempt at gettin pity from u guys.... please review

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